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Ronon sat down across the dining table from Rodney, a position usually held by Colonel Sheppard. Today, though, Ronan had a choice of seats; across from, next to on either side, in fact any seat at the table. Sheppard was on the other side of the room laughing with Lorne and several other Marines. Zelenka was conspicuous in his absence. Weir was at a small table, the book propped up in front of her a signal to be left alone.
Rodney looked surprised at Ronon's sudden appearance and stared at him, uncharacteristically mute.
Ronon said, "So, McKay, everybody's mad at you, huh?"
The expressive face fell into a scowl. "I actually prefer the silent treatment to accusations, so if that's what you're here for you can just go away."
Ignoring that, Ronon asked. "What'd you do?"
"Surely you've heard by now."
"Couple of versions. I'm asking you."
The scientist's shoulders slumped. "Apparently my ego is so out of control that I recklessly endangered half the expedition for no reason other than my own self-aggrandizement."
That puzzled Ronon because, the ego? Sure. But McKay didn't strike him as the type to endanger much of anyone.
He said, "Bet there was more to it than that. Tell me about it."
McKay was reluctant, but once he got started his words and hands flew like Alcacion Raptors. Ronon listened attentively, nodding gravely at each point. When Rodney finished, he said, "So basically you were trying to get a really big weapon to work."
McKay glowered at the one sentence summary. "Simplistic, but basically accurate except for leaving out the spectacular failure part. Now you have the information you need to join the others in condemnation."
Ronan smirked. "I'll pass."
"What?" Rodney looked startled and then his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why?"
Shrugging, Ronan answered, "Not my place to judge. Sounds like if it'd worked you would've been a big hero. Doesn't seem right to blame you because it didn't."
Looking unsure, McKay probed, "I did say some things to Radek that I really shouldn't have."
"Why did you?"
McKay thought about it. "Nobody's asked me that before. I guess I was so into what was happening that he was a distraction. He was muddying the waters, making it hard to think straight and things were moving too fast for that. I just wanted him to stop. I," the man faltered, "what I said was just wrong."
Ronon nodded. "Yeah, probably. You apologize?"
"I did, but..."
"Why's he surprised?" Ronon continued dismissively, "You're like that. Everybody knows it."
McKay glowered, "Great. And I pretty much forced Elizabeth to okay the project. She was against it all along."
"Yeah, you probably tied her up and held a gun to her head."
"Well, I didn't," McKay said with some chagrin, "But Caldwell came close. He really wanted the weapon. It was kind of ugly how he threatened her."
"Sounds like he's partly to blame then. Is he getting the silent treatment?"
"No, but then he spends most of his time on the Deadalus."
"Lucky him. "
"I can't really criticize him. He did pretty much save our lives there at the end. And I did almost get Colonel Sheppard killed. He trusted me and I let him down. He has a right to be angry."
Ronon grinned, "Kicked you out of bed, did he?"
McKay's eyes grew comically wide and Ronon went on, enjoying the wealth of human emotion playing across his companion's face after being alone so long. "His loss. Don't see how he could think you'd do it on purpose. The fact that you were there yourself shows you thought it was safe."
Now McKay's head bobbed urgently, "I did! I did think it was safe. I really thought it was going to work. I'd," his voice broke and his face showed sheer misery, "God, I'd rather die than lose him."
Ronon felt a sudden urge to reach over and touch McKay, to offer comfort, but that wasn't something he could do physically. He offered words instead.
"Don't worry about it. He'll get over it. They all will."
Rodney looked at him hopefully. "You think so?"
"Oh, yeah. They need you. They'll remember. The things that got you in trouble this time are the same things they depend on to get them out of trouble the rest of the time. You'll get involved in another project and Dr. Zelenka will be hanging on your every word. You probably scared Dr. Weir by almost dying like that. She'll calm down and be asking for your advice next time something comes up. And Sheppard? He'll be back. He knew who you were when he fell for you. He'll get the stick out of his ass and you back in it soon enough."
It was so fun to shock McKay into choking silence. McKay bleated, "I don't know about that."
Ronon leaned forward conspiratorially. "I do. He's been watching us since I sat down with a big scowl on his pretty face. He won't let you get away. And if anyone keeps giving you shit, fuck them."
Rodney's face was relaxing back into its accustomed smirk. Then they watched Teyla stop with her tray when she saw them and turn away. McKay's expression fell again.
"You may be wrong. If Ms. Cool and Collected is pissed off at me than it's pretty bad."
Ronon snorted. "She's got more of a temper than she likes to let on. And it isn't you she's avoiding, it's me."
That got McKay's interest. "Really? Did you two cave dwellers have an argument over how best to cook roast beast over a camp fire or something?"
Ronon chuckled. McKay's obvious and insincere insults were so much easier to deal with than the nervous distance most people kept with him.
"Uh, not quite." He cocked his head. "I guess since no one's talking to you I can tell you this without it getting around. Teyla's demonstrating her disappointment in me for something I did on that last trading mission."
Rodney's eyebrows jumped. "You screwed up?"
"I don't think what I did was wrong. But I did use her. I'm not surprised she's angry."
The other man leaned closer. "What did you do? Come on, I told you my tale of shame. You can tell me yours."
Ronan's stomach tightened. It wasn't that he was ashamed or even sorry, but it wasn't exactly a happy memory, either.
"I killed someone who needed killing."
McKay's mouth hung open. "Oh."
"We do what we have to," Ronon said philosophically, "and then we deal with the consequences. You blew up an uninhabited solar system. I killed a man responsible for hundreds of deaths. Which is worse? I don't think there's any point in worrying about it too much."
Rodney was blinking at Ronon as though he'd never seen him before. After a moment the scientist sat back and closed his mouth. Then he said, "There are some boxes I need moved into a store room. I usually get the Colonel to help me, but would you be willing to be a grunt for an hour or so?"
Ronon shrugged. "Got nothing better to do."
They took their trays to the clean-up area and then headed out of the mess hall side by side.
McKay looked up at him hesitantly. "You know, a lot of the stuff I say about you I don't mean. Well, some of it I do, but not all of it. You're not entirely brainless. I mean.... You know what I mean."
"Yeah," Ronon smiled. "I know."
End
Notes: Gratuitous Rodney/Ronon bonding. Thanks to Lady Ra for the beta.