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2020-11-04
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The Last Time

Summary:

Stargate Atlantis
John/Rodney, Implied John/female
Teen
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Stargate Atlantis.
No spoilers
Warnings…sad, swearing and um sad
Submitted through the Stargate_Atlantis_Slash mailing list.

Work Text:

The Last Time
by Burningchaos

God he was so fucking tired of this. Push, pull, I love you, wait, I changed my mind, again so get the fuck away. John Sheppard was the most frustration man he had ever had the misfortune to fall in love with.

It was a constant thing, John's semi-monthly panics over finding himself in a homosexual relationship. Most of the time he was fine, all flirtatious and sly sexy smiles, but when it happened, and it did, all the time, it was frowns and sleeping alone. Rodney would put up with a lot for love and great sex but this was ridiculous.

"Look, I think that we should, oh, I don't know date other people just to make sure. You know?" John's eyes were heartbreakingly beautiful as he pleaded. He wanted understanding; he wanted to be set free because he was too afraid to do it himself.

Rodney couldn't keep this up anymore. He just couldn't. Self-esteem had never been his strong point, but he knew when he was being used. Sure, it had taken four years, but he knew.

"John, I'll tell you what. You go shove your dick in every woman you meet from now till you fall over and die. I just don't give a shit anymore. Your gay, your straight figure it out on your own time." Rodney looked at John his eyes shuttered and dark. He hoped, oh god how he hoped, he was hiding how he truly felt.

John stepped close and Rodney took a step back, "That wasn't what I meant, not at all and you know it."

"Look, John, we both know you are looking for approval to start fucking Elizabeth again. So why don't you just run back to her, tell her your boyfriend dumped you and live happily ever after, all right? I am sure she will happily comfort you right into her bedroom, like every other time you do this." Rodney looked away, "Just leave, John, you don't need me you never did. I can't even imagine why we ever started this."

"Rodney," John stepped closer.

"Not this time, John. In fact, it will never happen again." Rodney braced himself because he knew John would cave, he just knew it. He stared at the man he still loved and probably always would, John's shoulders slumped and he suddenly looked like he had lost everything. He couldn't weaken, he had to stay strong, he had too.

"Fine, if that is what you want than I'll go." John hesitated; he cocked his head as if he expected Rodney to beg him to stay, to say he didn't mean it.

Rodney tipped his chin up defensively, "That is exactly what I want, now if you don't mind I need to pack. I have a new room waiting for me and standing here is just wasting time." John shoved his hands in his pocket, and walked toward the door. He looked back one last time, saying nothing as he left.

Staggering to the bed and sitting down Rodney sighed. He was strong enough after all. Now he had to be strong enough to pack, he had lied though. He wasn't going to new rooms. He was leaving Atlantis. He was leaving John, because he had lost everything he wanted before it had even begun.

end