SquidgeWorld Archive

Chapter 1: Snape, What Happened to You

Snape was all alone in his chamber when it happened. He was mixing potions, he did know what he was doing, but he did not know that one of the students switched the labels around. He mixed 2 unknown potions together andâ€"

Boom!

A loud bang was heard, and blackish magenta smoke filled the room. When the smoke cleared away, you could see Snape, holding a broken flask blinking uncontrollably, his hair sticking up and his face covered in black from the explosion. He dropped the flask, and broke it into many more pieces, then to everyone's surprise, the biggest smile you have ever seen in your life spread across his faceâ€"His teethâ€"which no one has seen beforeâ€"was a sparkling white, whiter than Lockhart's. He continued smiling, and a giggle escaped from his mouth. "I have a class in 10 minutes!" He cheered. "But I can't look like... this..." He skipped off into his room to pick out new clothes.

* * *

Snapes students were waiting for him, sitting in their desks either quietly or throwing spitballs at each other. Soon, the doors flew open. "Today we are going to try something new..." He walked down the pathway up to the front of the room. Everyone turned their attention to Snape, but as soon as they did, their jaw dropped. He was wearing a color other than blackâ€"he was wearing bright green robes. He smiled. "Today we are going to play Heads up seven up!" Sticking his thumbs way up into the air, grinning so widely his teeth were sparkling.

Harry and Ron were staring at him dumbly. "Wha--?" Both of them said.

"WOOT!" Neville jumped out of his seat. Five years he has been waiting for this. But he was the only one who did jump up from his seat. The rest had their jaw hanging.

"NOW COME ON YOU GUYS!" Snape said cheerfully. "Let's choose 3 people to come up here..." Snape let his eyes wander around the room. "How about Malfoy, Potter, and Weasley! My 3 fave students!" All three of them looked at each other, this was the first time they all agreed on something. Snape had gone crazy...

Harry looked over at Ron, "He's worse than Professor Lockhart..."

Ron agreed. "Yeah, and Lockhart had a better fashion sense... the robes are blinding' my eyes!"

"Now we don't have all day!" Snape set his hands on his hips and tilted his head, "Now are you boys coming or what?"

Malfoy got up first. "Potter, there's a rope right by his desk, you distract him whileâ€""

"We can't do that to a teacher!" Ron snapped at Malfoy, he was trying to be quiet but really wasn't.

"Weasley, keep your mouth shut..." Malfoy glared.

"You pervertedâ€"" Harry stopped Ron before he said anything else.

Harry shook his head. "He doesn't mean like that Ron... Maybe you're the perv..."

"Oh..." Ron blinked and blushed slightly. "Why do we have to distract him?"

Malfoy shrugged. "Because I said so... Now go!" He snarled.

"This will be my first and last time I listen to that rich bastardâ€"" Harry pushed Ron forward, he meant to shove him lightly but Ron, being clumsy and all, ran right into Snape and they both came crashing down.

The whole class gasped, then some chattering was heard.

"Woah, hi there Snape..." Ron blinked.

Harry slapped his forehead. Malfoy smirked. "You have one dumb friend..."

"I know... Don't remind me..." Harry shook his head.

Snape laughed, to everyones amazement, he grabbed Ron by the neck and started squeezing the life out of him. "Your so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!" Rocking back and forth, holding Ron tightly.

Malfoy gave a small 'urk' and ran to Snape's desk snatching the rope. "Potter!" He yelled, throwing one end of the rope across the room. Harry caught it and ran towards Snape, reaching one arm out to Ron, pulling him.

"Professor!" Harry grabbing the sleeve of Ron's shirt and pulling as hard as he could. "LET GO OF RON!"

Snape refused, and continued hugging Ron as if he was a stuffed animal. "Mine..."

Malfoy sighed, and decided to help. He wasn't being himself today, he would of enjoyed this sight, but it was just scaring the shit out of him. "Rrg..." He tried to pull Ron out of Snape's grip, but it was impossible. Snape had strong hands, and no matter how hard they tried, they wouldn't be able to pull Ron out.

The class watched in awe, as if this was a movie. One girl had made popcorn and was sharing it with the class. Hey, when will be the next time you will see Draco and Harry working together? As a TEAM? And Snape hugging Ron? Never.

"There's no other choice..." Harry gasped for breath as he let go of Ron. "We have to tie both of them together and drag 'em to Dumbledor's office. There's no other way..."

"ARE YOUâ€"SHITTIN' ME!?" Ron choked, but both Draco and Harry started to tie the two up. Very tight.

"Now you push and I'll pull..." Harry instructed.

Draco gave Harry a nasty face, he hated to listen to him, but there was no other way. He went to the back and pushed Snape out of the room.

The classes eyes followed, and as the four left, they all applauded.

* * *

Dumbledor nodded. "Very weird..." He said. "Snape's would never drink one of these potions..."

"LET GO OFâ€"HEY DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!" Ron was yelling.

Dumbledor sighed and took his wand out of his robes. He lifted his arm and said some words that both, Harry and Draco couldn't make out. A red light came out of the tip of Dumbledor's wand, the ropes fell, but Snape was still hugging Ron.

Again, Snape blinked uncontrollably. "What theâ€"" He turned his head and almost screamed jumping up and brushing himself of. "Weasley, what in bloody hell do you think you're doing? 20 points off ofâ€""

"Snape something happened. You weren't... Yourself..." Harry said.

"What do you mean?" Snape sneered.

"We mean you wanted to be nice to us," Malfoy said. "You wanted to play heads up 7 up, and for god sake, take those damn robes off!"

Snape looked at Draco oddly. "What do you mean by that?"

Draco gave a sigh. "2nd time today someone thinks I'm a god damn perv! I mean your blinding me!" Draco shouted.

Snape looked down, finding himself wearing bright green robes. This time he screamed, and ran out of the room.

"Poor Snape..." Dumbledor sighed and watched Snape run away. "Would anyone like some tea?"

Chapter 2- Has Snape Lost it?

Rating: PG-13 (For a bit of... swearing and... weird... and a bit of pervy thoughts...)
Note: sigh Kinda down, no one reviewed my Tom Riddle fanfiction. Maybe to angsty? Ah well. Get over it Arashi... Okay I will... Good... *continues to talk to herself* Oh you're still here? Good, I guess. I wanna thank a few reviewers. May be a bit long, you can skip. Y'all won't miss a thing.

After drinking that 'unknown' potion, Snape sat in a corner, rolled up in a ball rocking back and forth muttering to himself 'It's all right, it's okay, nothing happened... You did not hug Weasley,' But obviously that didn't help. He continued to rock back and forth, until he heard the door open. His eyes darted up. It was the three stooges. Er... Harry, Ron, and Draco.

"Professor, you all right?" Harry asked holding some chocolate, with a weird twisted look on his face when he looked at Snape.

"Yeah..." Draco lifted an eyebrow. "I'm guessing you aren't, well what are you waiting for Potter! Give him the bloody chocolate!"

Harry sighed and catiously walked over to Snape, just in case the potion still hasn't worn off. "Here..."

Snape shot a dirty (Not that kind) look at Harry. "You are trying to comfort me Potter?"

Harry nodded, and forced a kind smile on his face.

Snape blinked and looked at the chocolate. After a while he stood up, looking Harry directly in the eye. "Potter..."

"Yeah...?" Harry looked up at Snape, his eyes suddenly kind.

"30 points off of Gryffindor."

"HUH?" Ron, in the back said, eyes widening. Draco smacked him upside the head, just because he felt like it.

"W-What...?" Harry's eyebrow started to twitch.

"You wanted me to feel better, and you did," Snape coldly smiled.

"But not that way..." Harry stuck out the chocolate further, so Snape could see.

"Oh..." The Teachers face frowned. "Chocolate? I hate chocolate..."

"WELL SORRY TO HEAR THAT!" *whap* Draco smacked Ron again.

"So you wanted to make me feel better off of chocolate?" Snape snorted. "10 more points off of Gryffindor," He smiled wickedly and bent down to Harry. "You look so cute when you're mad..." Snape laughed coldly and walked out the door muttering. "He wants to make me feel better off of chocolate? HA!"

All three of them looked at each other; Draco had a smirk on his face. "He's right Potter. You do look cute when you're mad..."