SquidgeWorld Archive

"Yeouch," Tony yelped as Kate elbowed him in the stomach as she made her way back to her desk.

It was the second time that day that Kate had had cause to elbow DiNozzo. He was hitting new records for annoyingness.

It wasn't until she sat down at her desk that Kate realized that Tony hadn't returned to his workspace, but was still doubled over from her blow. Even as she looked at him, he crumpled to his knees, clutching his side.

"Give it a rest, DiNozzo," snapped Kate. "I didn't hit you *that* hard." A slight hint of worry crossed her mind as she realized that Tony did seem to be looking a little paler than usual, but she pushed it aside. He was probably just faking it to get back at her for all the times he'd made her elbow him before. "Stop messing around and get back to work. If Gibbs gets back from Norfolk and catches you acting the fool when there's work to be done then there'll be hell to pay."

McGee had also seen Tony fall to his knees and now he moved over beside him, putting his hand on Tony's shoulder as he said, "Uh, Kate, I don't think he's acting. Are you okay, Tony?"

There was a quick shake of Tony's head, "I'm fine," he forced out through gritted teeth. "Kate just...just winded me is all." He made as if to stand up, but groaned again and would have fallen over if McGee hadn't quickly grabbed him.

"I think you should let Ducky take a look at you," said McGee, even as he helped Tony to stand. "Kate, phone Ducky and tell him we're on the way down." He ignored Tony's feeble protests, as he wrapped his arm around him and gently but firmly started guiding him towards the elevator. At the back of his mind was the thought that no way in hell would he have been able to move Tony had the older man not wanted to be moved, so either Tony *was* playing some sort of trick on Kate, or he really was ill.

Kate picked up the phone automatically; still half convinced that this was just some prank that Tony was trying to pull. She was sure that she hadn't hit him *that* hard...certainly no harder than usual...and he *had* had it coming, what with his snarky comment about the type of women who would allow revealing photos of themselves to be displayed in public. The elevator doors closed on Tony and McGee as she waited for Ducky to answer.

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McGee waited until the elevator doors had closed fully before saying, "Uh, Tony. If you're faking this just to freak out Kate and me, then mission accomplished...well, half of it anyway. But now would be a good time to come clean."

Tony leaned closer in to McGee's support, letting his head fall on his lover's shoulder as he said, "Wish I was faking it, Probie, but it feels like somebody kicked me in the stomach. Man, Kate must have spent last night sharpening her elbows just for me." He tried to straighten up, but ended up stifling a yelp of pain.

McGee tightened his grip protectively, "We're nearly there," he said reassuringly. "Just hang in there, you'll be fine, Ducky will sort you out."

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"My goodness, Anthony, what have you been doing to yourself?" asked Ducky as McGee helped Tony up onto a vacant autopsy table.

"He was..." McGee started to explain, but Tony cut him off.

"Pain in my stomach, Ducky," said Tony quickly. "Think it might be from that perp yesterday. You remember, McGee, he punched me in the stomach when I was bringing him in." Tony looked McGee straight in the eyes, his message clear.

"Oh yeah," said McGee, "That one." True, there had been a perp who'd resisted arrest, but his single swing at Tony had been easily blocked with no harm done. Still, if Tony wanted to cover for Kate, then it was his call, and McGee wasn't going to say anything. But if Kate *had* injured Tony, then boy there was going to be hell to pay.

"Hmm," said Ducky, as he pushed Tony back into a supine position. "And where exactly did he hit you?"

"Just about here..." Tony placed his hand over his stomach. "It was a little bit achy, no big deal, and then, bam...like I've been kicked by a mule."

Ducky applied gentle pressure around the indicated area, taking careful note of how much pain each movement was causing Tony. "I rather think you should get this checked out at a hospital," said Ducky, finally. "It may be just torn or damaged muscles, but if the blow was hard enough, you could have a small internal bleed."

"I'm fine," protested Tony weakly. "Look, it's probably just bad cramp or something. A few painkillers, a good nights sleep, and I'll be fine." He sat up quickly, only to suddenly turn even paler. McGee caught him as he swayed sideways, and lowered him back down on the table.

"That does it," said McGee, "I'll take you to Bethesda myself."

"I'll write you a referral, Timothy," said Ducky. "It'll save time."

"Don't I get a say in this?" grumbled Tony.

In response, Ducky prodded him in the side, making Tony whimper and curl up on the table. "You, Anthony are in no condition to do your job today. Get to the hospital and get checked out. More than likely it's just some deep tissue bruising, but I'd feel happier if you at least had a scan to rule out anything more serious."

"I'll make sure he gets there," said McGee, firmly as he helped Tony sit up on the table.

"Good lad, Timothy. I take it that Gibbs has not returned from his meeting in Norfolk?"

"No he hasn't," said Tony, "Which makes me in charge of the team."

"Not when it comes to matters of a medical nature," replied Ducky. "Unless of course you'd prefer to be the one to explain to Gibbs just when your medical knowledge exceeded mine."

McGee wouldn't have thought it possible, but Tony seemed to go even paler, and he made no further protest as he was helped to the car.

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As Tony and McGee were heading for Bethesda, Kate was upstairs trying to convince herself that she hadn't *really* hit Tony all that hard. "He's just faking it in order to make me feel bad," Kate told herself. The only trouble was, it was working. Kate was starting to feel just a little guilty. Even if she hadn't really hurt him, she knew that all those elbow jabs she gave him could be quite painful. "He had it coming...going on the way he did. Besides, it was no worse than all the swats he gets from Gibbs." But the words sounded hollow, even to herself.

Although Tony might occasionally yelp when on the receiving end of a Gibbs Swat, Kate knew that Gibbs never truly intended to cause any damage. He knew how to pull his punches properly, and the swats were more a gesture of affection than a punishment.

But try as she might, Kate couldn't see her elbow jabs in the same light. "I'd shoot him if he tried anything like that on me," Kate thought guiltily, knowing that while she might piss Tony off, many times deliberately, he would still never raise a hand to her in anger.

Kate looked at her watch for the twentieth time. Tony and McGee had been gone for over an hour now. Gibbs was due back from Norfolk any minute now and Kate didn't relish the thought of having to explain to him where the rest of his team was. The sound of the elevator doors made her jump, and she tensed in anticipation, relaxing only when she saw Ducky emerge.

"Ducky!" said Kate, meeting him in front of the windows. "Where's Tony? Is he all right?"

"I thought it best that he get checked out at Bethesda," replied Ducky. Seeing the stricken expression on Kate's face, he added quickly, "It's just a precautionary measure. I'm sure that I'm being over careful, but it's better to err on the side of caution when there's the possibility of internal injuries...why Caitlin, what's wrong? You're looking almost as pale as Tony was."

"Why was Tony looking pale?" Gibbs voice made them both jump.

"I...he...we..." Kate stammered. Before she could get a clear word out, Gibbs's phone rang.

He looked at the display and then glanced over at McGee's empty desk before answering, "Gibbs. Talk to me."

Kate watched nervously as Gibbs paced towards his desk. "Oh God, Ducky, Gibbs is going to kill me! This is all my fault!"

Ducky looked at her curiously, but before he could say anything, Gibbs ended the call and barked over at them, "Special Agent Todd, do you mind explaining to me why exactly my senior agent is currently undergoing surgery at Bethesda?"

Kate paled even more, "Gibbs, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault...I...I...I elbowed Tony in the stomach and he just collapsed, and I thought he was faking, and I never meant to hurt him, just to shut him up, and...and....I'm really sorry."

"I don't think I'm the one you should be apologizing to."

"You're right, I know, and as soon as Tony's okay I'm going to apologize to him, you have my word on that," Kate swallowed hard before continuing, "He...he *is* going to be okay, isn't he?"

"McGee seemed to think so. Ducky, will you..."

"I'll phone the hospital at once and get a full update on Tony's condition, Jethro." Ducky patted Kate reassuringly on the shoulder before leaving.

"Gibbs, is there anything I can do?" Kate nearly flinched when Gibbs glared at her.

"Do you have any idea the amount of paperwork that has to be filed when an agent is injured while on duty?"

"No...but I will find out and I'll deal with every report and form that needs filing."

"Yes, yes you will." Kate had started to turn away but stopped when Gibbs continued in a lower tone, "And Kate? I don't like it when people on my team get hurt. I like it even less when it's a fellow agent that hurts them. Do we understand each other?"

Kate swallowed hard, "Yes Gibbs," she squeaked before scuttling away.

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A few days later, McGee was sitting on Tony's hospital bed, one arm around his lover as he shared a cookie with him. "So Kate made you a whole box of her homemade cookies? And she's promised to type all your reports for a month when you're back on duty?"

"Yep, Probie," said Tony, leaning against McGee. He was considerably paler than was usual for him, but well on the way to recovery. "And she's picking up my dry cleaning and she's getting my car cleaned."

"Hmm, I've just one question...when are you going to tell her that your appendicitis *wasn't* caused or aggravated by her elbowing you?"

Tony stretched out on the bed, wincing slightly as he tugged at the stitches in his side. "Oh I figure I'll drag it out a bit longer...maybe until I can get her to show me her tattoo!" He looked suspiciously at McGee, "You're not gonna tell her, are you Probie? Cause stitches or no, I can still kick your ass."

"Oh trust me, Tony," McGee took another bite of the cookie. "Keep sharing these cookies and your secret's safe with me."

Suddenly Kate's voice was heard yelling in the corridor, "DINOZZO!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

McGee winced, "Of course Abby is another story!"