Work Text:
Title: Brave Heart
Author: Poodle
Series: Doctor Who (Fifth Doctor)
Rating: PG
Summary: As the Doctor lies dying, the comfort of a past companion reaches through time and space to help him find the strength to regenerate...
Brave Heart
By Poodle~
Again, Tegan dipped the cloth into the cool mountain spring, noting with a shudder the clear water as it turned an angry red.
Quickly, she withdrew the cloth, wrung it with still trembling hands, then rose to her feet and returned to the nearby clearing.
There, beneath the protective shade of an enormous oak, lay her companion and friend - the Doctor. His usually expressive blue eyes were closed as if in sleep, and his cheek rested against the cushion of deep, plush grass.
Kneeling by the Time Lord's side, Tegan considered imploring him to awaken, but knew that it was useless. For though her friend appeared to be sleeping, she knew only too well that he was not. She studied his passive face for signs of consciousness, but found none.
"Doc, you've really gotten us into it this time," she whispered, not unkindly. "I'd even be content with one of our usual rows."
But the Doctor gave no reply.
With a sigh, she leaned forward, gently brushing aside the silky blond hair that lay across his brow, and winced at the ugly gash that marred the smooth forehead.
Moving his head into her lap, she tenderly applied the cool, soothing cloth, comforted by the thought that at least the bleeding had stopped. But still, he had not awakened, and she began to fear the worst.
"Doc, please don't die on me now!" she begged. But the Doctor gave no response.
"A pleasant spot for a bit of rest and relaxation!" the Doctor had sportingly called this place as he'd bounded through the TARDIS doors, pleading with her to accompany him for -a leisurely stroll about'. And responding foolishly to his reckless innocence, Tegan had been swayed.
But, as usual, the Doctor's idea of pleasant turned out to be a place of unexpected peril, where even she remained groggy on the details. He mind was a blur of raging savages with enormous clubs. Why she had been left unharmed, only fate could tell; though vaguely, she recalled the Doctor blocking several blows obviously intended for her, and taking them for himself. No doubt he'd saved her life --- again.
Gingerly, she removed the cloth and gazed at the purplish gash once more. Fear gripped her heart as she noted the increasing pallor of his skin and the shallowness of his breath. Placing a protective arm about him, she drew the Doctor near, as if the contact in itself would prevent the passing of his life. Feeling the sting of tears well up in her eyes, she fought them bravely.
"I'll be all right, Doc." She comforted the still form while laying a hand upon his chest in an attempt to ascertain his true condition. But the bizarre rhythm of twin hearts only proved to confuse her further.
"If only I'd bothered to learn something about your crazy physiology," she berated herself. "Perhaps I could help." But the gentle thumps beneath her hand meant no more to her than the fact that the Time Lord was still alive. But for how long?
"Your skin's so cool!" But perhaps that, too, was normal?
Suddenly, he stirred, and Tegan swiftly removed her hand. He mumbled an unintelligible phrase and she bent to catch his words, but the syllables were obviously foreign.
"I don't understand." She bent near, straining to comprehend. Only one word was clear, a name - Sarah.
"No, it's Tegan," she whispered, wondering who this Sarah might be. Then a picture came to mind of a petite, young brunette. Yes. She'd met the girl on Gallifrey. For an instant, she puzzled what their relationship might have been, then dismissed the obvious speculations as ridiculous.
He uttered her name once more, and then fell silent. For some unknown reason it bothered her, but she pushed it to the back of her mind. Refusing to accept the implications of her emotions as she'd refused to accept many things in the topsy-turvy reality of the past several years. A reality that included such unimaginable things as Cybermen and Daleks, and aliens of which she'd never dreamed, not the least of such was the Doctor himself.
Common sense told Tegan that these places and things could not possibly exist. But truth and experienced had taught her they did, indeed, exist - people lived in this reality. And people died, too.
"Doc, please!" Usually quite outspoken, Tegan could think of nothing more to say. The Doctor's only hope remained in his resourceful alien makeup. Tegan had seen him prevail time and time again against the most insurmountable odds -surely he would again. And she bent to tell him so, but the words would simply not come. Instead the tears she'd attempted to restrain broke through to come flooding down her cheeks. And for a time she wept.
"Would someone please be kind enough to bring me in from the rain?" The voice caused her to start, and Tegan jumped.
"Doctor!"
"You were expecting someone else?" The words were spoken with his usual lightness, but the tone was weak - much too weak.
Drawing back, she gazed into his face. His eyes were open, but they held a glassy look. Still, she feigned an air of hopefulness.
"Well! It's about time you came -round, Doc. I was beginning to think you'd bought it for sure."
The Doctor laughed lightly, but made no attempt to rise or even to remove his head from the comfort of her lap. His lack of vitality frightened the girl. Usually he was up and about at the first sign of lucidity - sometimes even before.
"Doc, you are all right...aren't you?"
For a moment, he didn't respond but simply closed his eyes as if each sentence was an effort. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he reopened them and spoke.
"I do not wish to alarm you, Tegan, but I'm afraid my answer must be no. I don't believe that I am all right..." His words trailed into silence.
A stab of fear shot through her as she considered the possibilities of his statement.
"What do you mean...surely, you're not implying..."
"That I'm dying?" He paused to draw a ragged breath. "Yes, I'm afraid so..."
"No!" she gasped, refusing to believe her ears. "I won't let you die, that's pure foolishness. You've survived much worse than this."
Weakly, he gave her his most valiant smile. "I appreciate your faith in me, my dear. But I am not so indestructible as one might think. Time Lords can indeed die. And do so everyday..."
"But you'll regenerate!" She exclaimed. Her mind rushed back to another time, another place, where again a form had lain sprawled on the ground before her - dying. And though that newfound friend had a different face, still they were one in the same....
"Perhaps...." His whisper, in response, was faint..
Her heart grew faint, as well. "There's no -perhaps' about it, Doc. Of course you will!"
His blue eyes closed, but the smile remained. "Any excuse to argue. I do believe, Tegan, of all my previous companions, you are most like myself. Therein, perhaps, lies the reason for our varied...disagreements."
Tegan attempted to smile but failed. Instead, she gripped the Time Lord tighter. "Now, stop this dying nonsense, before I'm forced to really become angry. And you *know* how angry I can get."
"Please spare me," he protested. "I know, only too well. Still, you must face facts - I am, in fact, dying."
But her heart and mind rejected the truth. The Doctor was merely delirious; she told herself, and had no idea what he was saying. Her eyes refused to see the sallow color of his skin and her ears to hear the trembling of his voice.
"Tegan, please...listen." His words broke into her false sense of security, and she turned to face the truth that reveled itself plainly on his pale countenance.
"Oh, Doctor." Her voice broke.
The Doctor interrupted, his eyes meeting hers once more. "You must be of brave heart," he told her evenly, then continued much more softly, "And never forget."
The Aussie opened her mouth to respond but no words come. The hands that gripped his shoulders began to tremble uncontrollably.
Reaching up, he gave her arm a reassuring pat. "I think, for a change, I rather appreciate the fuss." He gave her a tired grin that somehow she found the courage to return. "You were always the strong one, Tegan," he continued gently. "Be strong now...for me."
His words caused the flood to break and the tears freely flowed. "I'll try," she sobbed softly. "And I'll never forget."
"That's my girl," he whispered fondly, then quietly closed his eyes.
Leaning toward him, she breathed against his ear, "Brave heart, Doctor." But the Doctor gave no reply.
"Doctor!"
But the Time Lord didn't stir. The blond head rested serenely against her but the breathing had ceased.
"Please no," she moaned, as her vision began to blur. "You can't die, Doctor, you just can't die..."
The world began to sway --- reality blending into fantasy - causing her head to swim.
"This can't be happening!" She shouted despairingly. Then as the impact finally absorbed her, she allowed the darkness to reach up and mercifully engulf her mind.
~*~*~*~*
Tegan awoke with a start, the echoes of despair still pounding in her heart.
"Doctor!"
She sat upright, gripping the sheets about her as realization dawned - it had all been just a dream.
Dropping her head into trembling hands, she fought to regain control.
"It was just a horrid nightmare," she reassured herself. But even as she spoke, the reality cut through her like the naked blade of a knife, that - somewhere, sometime - the Doctor lay dying.
A sob escaped her lips as the clear, painful image burned itself into her mind. The Doctor needed her.
Gasping for breath, she rose to her feet and began frantically pacing her room, attempting in vain to force the vision from her mind. Surely it was only a product of her overwrought imagination, the side effect of a guilty conscience...
Maybe she had been wrong to leave the Doctor. Turlough was not the best of companions and what if the Doctor truly did need her now.
"I'm sorry," she whispered into the gloom. Still, the illusion of danger prevailed. "But there's nothing I can possibly do."
Waves of despondency caused her to shiver. Gripping her arms around her, she fled to the nearby window and threw aside the delicate lace curtains. Tearfully, she gazed into the star-filled sky.
The harsh silvery light flooded into her room, dazzling her with its brilliance.
"I don't know why I feel this way," she whispered into the silent sky. "It doesn't seem possible. Yet, you've taught me, Doc, that many impossibilities are possible. So who am I to doubt...?"
Tegan closed her eyes, finally allowing the vision to have full reign. Its vividness was terrifying, and at times she wanted to prevent it. But his words returned to her. "Be strong now - for me." And in that she found new strength.
Somewhere, sometime, the Doctor really did need her help.
//But what can I possibly do?//
//In yourself, you'll find the answer.//
In that instant, faith prevailed. Faith in all the things that she would never understand, faith in a reality beyond herself.
Recalling her dream and the comfort she'd given him, the right words came to mind.
"What was it you always told me, Doctor? Brave heart."
And somewhere, sometime, a whisper came to her --- the Doctor's voice, calling her name for the last time. Her dark eyes opened, moist with tears, but the stars glowed their approval.
~End