Work Text:
The Parker Affair
By David Lee Rickman II
***
"I don't even know these people. Why should I remember their names?"
"Mrs. President, these are important guests who have faithfully served their country." The secret Service agent explained.
President Morgan piped in. "Honey, it's only polite that you learn their names."
The first lady picked up another photo. "Yeah, but the guests all look old. Except for this one." Mrs. Morgan read the caption. "Agent Frank Parker. He must be the youngest one in this pile."
***
Suddenly a man walked into the room. President Morgan stood up. "Young man, what are you doing here?"
The man took out a gun and without a word shoots the first lady and the three people in the room before committing suicide.
****
"Come on! Come on! Make the basket!" Parker shouted.
"Ten seconds buddy." Donovan said counting down with the clock.
"Shoot! Shoot!"
"Six...Five...Four?."
****
"We interrupt this game for a breaking report from CZN news."v "What the H---.," Donovan exclaimed.
"Less than forty minutes ago, an unidentified assassin walked into a room of the White House and has officially killed the President and First Lady. I repeat, the First Lady and President Morgan are confirmed dead."
*******
Mentnor knocked on the door. "Parker?"
"I know, I know. It's time to backstep or else my White House invitation for next week is canceled "
*******
Roughly an hour later, Parker and Mentnor were walking down the platform toward the sphere. "Usually the Vermeil room is part of the public self-guided tour.
Today though, Morgan used it because the Oval Office was being repaired and the Vermeil was the first lady's favorite room."
*****
"Well, I'll see you this morning.," Parker said walking up the stairs. Moments later, electric sparks criss-crossed the sphere as it began to move through time.
*******
"I don't even know these people. Why should I remember their names?"
"Mrs. President, these are important guests who have faithfully served their country.," The secret Service agent explained.
President Morgan piped in. "Honey, it's only polite that you learn their names."
The first lady picked up another photo. "Yeah, but the guests all look old. Except for this one." Mrs. Morgan read the caption. "Agent Frank Parker. He must be the youngest one in this pile."
******
Suddenly a man walked into the room. President Morgan stood up. "Young man, what are you doing here?" The man took out a gun, but someone grabbed the gunman's arm from behind.
*****
"Give me that gun!" Parker exclaimed. The assassin squeezed the trigger, but hit the far wall of the room. Before the Secret Service man could help Parker get the gun, the gun fired once more hitting the first lady in the head.
**********
An hour later, a surgeon held the lead bullet over a surgical tray with tweezers. "Thank G- it didn't shatter.," the surgeon told the nurse. "But I am not sure what her life will be like now. It went through part of the Hippocampus of her brain, so she might have some memory problems."
"O.K. Parker, now you've done it." Ramsey said thundering into the waiting room. "If Mrs. Morgan dies, I will bury you so deep in solitaire confinement that you will fossilize."
********
"Can't you tell I feel bad enough already?" Parker asked.
"What the H--- took you so long?"
"Ramsey, I would have been here sooner, but my cell phone died and I had to catch a cab from Arlington."
********
"I have good news and bad news.," The head doctor said coming into the waiting room. "The good news is that Mrs. Morgan will live and she remembers she's the first lady."
"What's the bad news?" President Morgan asked.
"She thinks that she's Mrs. Parker and she's married to Frank Parker."
"Him?," The Secret Service Agent asked.
"Hiimmm?," Ramsey exclaimed almost ready to faint.
"Cool." Frank Parker said.
********
Later that day, Donovan and Olga knocked on Ramsey's office door.
"Ah, Olga and Donovan. Come in. come in." Ramsey cheerfully greeted them.
"Ramsey, we noticed that Parker didn't return with you today. And you've been very happy since returning." Olga said.
"Let's cut to the chase. Ramsey, did you do something to Parker?" Donovan cut in.
"Me? No. Parker got reassigned to White House duty.
Talmedge and Mentnor both agreed."
"White House duty?" Olga asked.
"It's actually an ironic story." Ramsey chuckled. "The first Lady was looking at Parker's picture before she was hit by a bullet. When she recovered." Ramsey paused. "Well, you know how that liberal has a thing for younger men."
Olga was shocked. "Are you saying that Mrs. Morgan thinks Parker is her husband?"
"It's only temporary. In two weeks America will negotiate with a small Pacific Ocean island for some rare minerals, but their customs dictate they negotiate with the wife of a leader. As soon as Mrs. Morgan negotiates, she'll get therapy."
********
Later that evening, Donovan answered his cell phone.
"Donovan, this is Parker." Parker whispered.
"Why are you whispering?"
"I am being held in this room and I am not supposed to even communicate with people outside the White House.
Can you put Olga on two way, this is an emergency."
Donovan punched in the code. "Olga, I have Parker on the other line."
"Guys, I need you to get me out."
"Ramsey said you were there temporarily."
"President Morgan said that, but he's about to send Mrs. Morgan and me on a private world cruise on a Navy yacht so he can be with his mistress after the negotiations. I?" Parker heard the first lady outside.
"I have to go." Parker said hanging up and diving into bed pretending to be asleep.
"Stay right outside Roger. We won't need you in here."
The First lady said to the guard outside.
"You've been hiding from me Frank. Luckily Vice President Morgan told me where you were," Mrs. Morgan said closing the door.
"That's cheating.," Parker said.
"All is fair in love and war.," Mrs. Morgan said moving closer to the bed.
"Oh, no!," Parker said trying to hide under the sheets.
*******
"No way am I doing this!" Olga said from behind the door.
"Olga, this is the only way." Donovan said from in front of the door.
"O.K. I am coming out. But if you laugh, the plan is off."
Olga slowly came out of her room dressed up in the French maid costume Donovan borrowed.
"It looks good on you." Donovan said.
"It looked better on Owsley last Halloween."
*******
"Laundry service.," Olga said to the guard outside the Presidential bedroom.
"I'll have to check the cart." The guard said. The guard dug into the cart and only found blankets on top of pillows.
*********
As Olga closed the door behind her, she tiptoed to Parker. She poked him in the back. "Sshhh!," she went as Parker woke up. "Get into the cart while I cover you with blankets." She then piled pillows in the corner to make room for Parker.
*********
Moments later, Mrs. Morgan put her arm across the bed, but didn't feel Parker. Before Olga made it to the first floor, several agents were already radioed and surrounded the cart.
*********
"Ah, crap!", Parker said raising his hands and getting out of the cart.
"Why? Why" Mrs. Morgan asked arriving to the group.
"It's time she knew the truth.," Olga said.
"What?," Mrs. Morgan asked.
"I am not your husband.," Parker said. "Vice President Morgan is really President Morgan."
"I can't believe this." Mrs. Morgan said putting a hand to her forehead.
"You were looking at my picture before being shot.
President Morgan needed you for the negotiations in two weeks, and couldn't wait for you to go through therapy.
"Roger.," she said walking up to her personal guard.
"You've never lied to me, so I'll ask you who is my husband?"
"Under orders, I am to say Frank Parker."
"Under my continuing to employ you, who is my husband?"
"Philip Morgan."
******
Parker was later surprised to see Ramsey in the government car with Donovan when Olga and Frank were picked up. "What are you doing here?"
"Olga convinced me to help with getting them here."
"Wow. How'd she do that?"
"She did that psychology crap and made me realize I was helping that Hippie president carry on a lie. I already had enough of that during the last administration.
"Anyway, Olga, as long as you're dressed like that, would you like to clean my bedroom tonight?"
"No, and I'll clean your watch if you ask again."
"No Olga, it's 'I'll clean you clock.'"
"I'll clean both. Seeing you with the first lady was a real turn-off."
Donovan grinned. "What was she like Frank."
"Quiet Donovan!," Olga and Frank Parker said in unison.
The End