Work Text:
Money To Burn
By David Lee Rickman II
frankbparker@yahoo.com
Electronic Globe spreads over the screen. Locator scans North America and focuses. Location: Alaska.
"This is Sabastian McDonald reporting live from Alaska for the BBC. In front of me is part of the trans-Alaska oil pipeline, considered by some to be the eighth wonder of the world. Each and every day this pipe delivers exactly..." Just than explosions rang out in the surroundings. Like a line of dominos, section after section of the pipeline began to combust. The camera man dropped the camera as he attempted to escape.The last thing it recorded was Sabastian McDonald burning alive.
Locator moves south-east and refocuses. Location: Nevada--Never-Never Land.
"This is what happened earlier today.," Talmedge pointed to the screen.
Olga saw McDonald on fire and turned her head. "Oh my.," was all she could say.
Mentnor continued. "All we know over the last few hours is that it was arson. The Canadian government is narrowing down the suspects. The trans-Alaska pipeline is owned jointly by the United States and Canada."
"We all know who did it.," Ramsey barked. "It was the middle-east terrorists trying to get us to buy more oil from OPEC and to drive up the cost so they can finance more acts against America."
Ballard shock his head. "Ramsey, we don't know that for sure."
"I do. Trust me." Ramsey promised.
At one 0'clock in the morning the Royal Mounties surrounded a log cabin near Anchorage. A battering ram brock through the front door and five armed Mounties rushed in and aimed their weapons at a man writting in his journal.
"Alfred Johnson, you're under arrest in the name of the Queen for terrorism and arson"
"This is the man who has confessed to arson, Frank." Talmedge handed a folder to Parker labeled "Top Secret. " Parker took the picture and file from the NSA folder. "Al Johnson used to be a self-made millionaire, but lost it all in the stock marker plummet in 1987. He lost his wife and all his worldly possessions to creditors, and went to Canada to stay with a college friend who became a forest ranger. His friend died last year, and left him a log cabin and a small amount of money in his will." Frank took some photocopies from the folder. "Those are copies from his journal describing how he used what was left of his inheritance to buy up oil futures and to blow up the Alaska pipeline to decrease supply and drive up oil's value."
"So he wanted to become a millionaire and was too stupid to get on Wheel Of Fortune. At least Ramsey was wrong again. When do I backstep?"
"Initiating countdown sequence." Parker gave Olga a thumbs up through the closed circuit TV and then held tightly to the needles. "Reactor to 60%, disabling manual override...reactor to 80%...90%....100%! Engage!"
Parker tried not to bite his tongue as he attempted to control the needles. Images of the pipeline explosion raced through his head as he reached orbit and began to reenter the atmosphere. "Funny," Parker thought to himself. "The reentry seems smoother than usual." As he hit the ground, Parker knew he had just jinxed himself. The sphere seened to rotate in circles. Parker jumped down and tried to open the latch. "D--- it," Parker cursed to himself. "I rolled down a hill or something, and now the latch is against the ground."
"Any word from Parker yet?" Talmedge looked over Ballard's shoulder as he was looking at satellite images.
"Not yet. For some reason, the sphere didn't come straight down. It was more like a 57 degree inclined fall." Ballard chuckled at the inside joke. "Bessler's Theorem angle. Anyway, he's somewhere between Oregon and the North Pole."
"We need better than that." Talmedge walked away.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
Parker perked up when he heard somebody and answered. "Help!"
"How the heck did you get in a situation like this?"
"It's a long story. Listen, the door I get out of is against the ground. Do you think you can roll this sphere over?"
"Not by myself, but I have a friend nearby with a truck. Maybe we can nudge it."
A few minutes later a Ford pulled up and pushed against the sphere. "Step on the pedal more John!," the first man shouted.
The sphere began to roll over, and Parker popped out. Parker got up and dusted himself off.
John jumped out of the truck and joined the first man. "Hey, did you see that fire ball in the sky about 15 minutes ago?"
Parker shook his head. "No, by the way where am I?"
"Nome, Alaska." The two men said in unison.
"Do you have a phone?"
"In the truck over there." John pointed to the running truck.
Parker took out a gun from his suit pocket. "I am sorry I have to do this, but I have a job to do. Now move against that tree over there."
The two men complied with Frank's order, and Frank drove away.
"General Baxtor's office." The screener answered the phone.
"This is Conundrum."
The woman turned to Donnovan and Talmedge. "Holy cow, it's Conundrum!"
Talmedge picked up the phone. "Yes, Conundrum. Where have you been?"
"I had some trouble with the sphere. Anyway, I am heading to Anchorage. There's a man named Alfred Johnson. He's rigged an explosive with a radio receiver and is planning to blow up the trans-Alaska oil pipeline at exactly 5:17 P.M. The clock is now set at three hours and counting."
"Is Alfred Johnson a terrorist?"
"No, he's a former millionaire."
Donnovan was puzzled. "A former millionaire?"
"It's a long story."
Parker pulled up to the section where the bomb was. Frank Parker looked at his watch. Only five minutes to find the explosive and disable it. Parker set the alarm on his digital watch to go off at 5:17 P.M. "Might as well hear when I die if I fail." Parker thought.
At 5:16 P.M. the Royal Mounties surrounded Alfred Johnson's cabin. "If the American's told us right, we need to move now.," The leader said over the walkie-talkie. A battering ram broke through the front door and five armed Mounties rushed in and aimed their weapons at a man sitting at a desk with a radio transmitter.
Parker crawled toward the bomb hidden on a tower near a rail ladder. He grabbed the bomb and found the wire leading to the explosive....and snipped the wire as his watch beeper went off.
"Alfred Johnson, we have a warrant for your arrest."
"You're too late mounty!" Alfred pushed a green button on the transmitter as a mounty fired a bullet at him. Al grabbed his chest as his shirt became blood red. "You may kill me but it's too late. I have died a millionaire again."
"Private, turn on that TV."
The screen warmed up, and a BBC report came on. "This is Sabastian McDonald live from the Alask pipline. Now back to you Joanie."
"No! No! It can't be. I pressed the button. I am a millionaire again...I...." Al Johnson collapsed on the ground.
"He's dead sir." The mounty looked up at the group.
"Congradulations buddy on another successful backstep!"
"Thanks Donnovan. Now what's the surprise you guys have for me?"
"We all chipped in. You'll love it." Donnovan handed Parker an envelope.
Parker read the certificate in the envelope. "This certifies the bearer of this certificate one free....Canadian bacon pizza. Thanks alot Donnovan."
Donnavon pulled out a bottle of Canadian ale. "I'll trade you."
"No, but I'll make a bet for it."
"What game?"
Frank winks. "The Canadian hockey finals of course."
The End