Chapter Text
Title: The Sickness
Author: azure_chaos
Fandom: BtVS
Pairing: Xander/Spike ish
Warnings: AU
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, they belong to Joss
Whedon and co. no money was made from this fic.
A/N: In answer to Peja's "Dead to me" challenge. (see summar for the challenge)
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"Please?" The man's voice begged.
"No way, it's over. After what you've done? You'll be lucky if any of the other's ever forgive you." A screeching female voice condemned him.
"I haven't *done* anything." He wasn't going to let this go without protesting.
"By omission, Xander, by the very fact you never did anything, you did it." Anya's wonky reasoning, her tone was bitter and accusing.
Spike stood outside the door to the apartment, he had been about to knock when he'd heard the argument raging from inside. He decided to stand and wait a while to see what the hell the silly bint was going on about now. Probably the boy wasn't giving her enough orgasms, as she always put it. He snorted to himself and popped a cigarette between his lips but didn't light it.
"How the hell do you work that out?" Xander yelled back. It was the first time his voice had been raised enough to be deemed a yell.
Spike raised an eyebrow. He had never heard the whelp raise his voice to the ex-demon.
"You never told us and you should have."
"It was no ones business but mine." The boy's voice was full of desperation.
"You don't think that you should have told me? I had a right to know. Dammit Xander, you're supposed to love me. I know now that was all lies." Anya yelled and Spike could almost hear her pout.
"How I feel about you has nothing to do with this." Xander's voice had dropped again, but it was still loud enough for vampire hearing.
Spike felt so sorry for the young man, even though he had know idea what was going on, he sounded so defeated, so depressed.
"How can you say that Xander, how can I even look at you the same way, now I know the disgusting truth?"
"You think I'm d...disgusting?" The whelp was clearly upset at these words.
The vampire was almost ready to barge in there and start tearing her a new one for upsetting his nummy treat. So, the boy wasn't *actually* his, but that didn't mean he couldn't pretend.
"No wonder you've been so distant lately, with all this going on in your head. I really should have known something was wrong."
"You're the one who hasn't been there for me Anya, I needed you and it's like...like you're dead to me, have been for weeks. Ever since I asked you for your help. Of course I was going to pull away from you."
"You're sick Xander, you need help. Your friends will help you."
Sick? What kind of sick? The vampire was worried at first but then he turned over in his mind the tone of voice that had been used and realised she didn't mean the 'ill' kind of sick but the 'freak' kind of sick. He felt sad for his nummy treat, the woman should be more understanding of the boy.
Spike heard her moving towards the door and before she could pull it open he had vanished round a corner, out of sight. He waited until he heard her footsteps retreat into the distance before returning to knock at the apartment door. Likely, the whelp would need some comfort and he still needed to feed.
The door was opened a jar and Xander peeked out at him through the crack.
"Spike, what are you doing here?" The brunette asked, his voice was pitifully quiet, like all the fight and caring had gone out of him. He looked slightly lost and his eyes were reddened. "I was just about to go to Giles', pre-patrolling meeting and all that."
Spike gave him a smile, "Hungry, and wan'ed some company."
Xander blinked slightly at what appeared to be a genuine smile instead of the usually snide smirks that the vampire gave anyone. He didn't have the energy to comment or protest so he held the door open for him and just walked away; it was a clear signal for Spike to come in and help himself to the blood in the fridge.
The blond was worried now; he'd never thought anything could ever knock the boy down like this. He sauntered in and walked through the kitchen, retrieved a bag of blood, poured it into a mug and popped it in the microwave to warm. Leaning against the counter, he crossed his arms across his chest and thought over what he'd heard, trying to work out what to do about it. He wondered if he should come clean about hearing them arguing, but was sure that would just make the whelp defensive.
The ping of the microwave snapped his focus back and he turned to retrieve his mug. Wandering back through to the living room, he found Xander sat on the sofa pulling his boots on.
"Want some company?" Spike asked, casually, as he watched him tightening his laces.
Xander looked up at him, blinking in confusion, "What? To the meeting?"
"Yeah, and on patrol, could do with kicking some demon arse." Spike winked.
The brunette thought about it a moment, shrugged and gave a small smile, "sure it'd be good to have the company."
The vampire nodded.
******
The meeting was dragging, Xander had slouched on the couch hoping like hell that Anya wouldn't turn up and decide to tell them all about his "sickness" as she'd called it. Spike had sat himself down next to him, they had spent a while exchanging witty barbs and his mood had lifted a little, then the blond had pinched him on the side, under the cover of his folded arms. Xander wasn't sure how he hadn't yelped, but strangely or not, considering recent realisations, it had turned him on. Now as he sat next to the vampire he was finding it hard to concentrate on what was being said. He just kept thinking about what it would be like if he could have what he needed.
Giles was wittering on about some kind of portent to, yet another, coming apocalypse. "When the Coyote's howl is heard under the blood red moon, there will come a ..."
Spike had tuned out; he really didn't care too much for finding out about the world coming to an end... again. The white hats would all work it out without his input, so he turned his attention to figuring out what his nummy and the bint had been rowing about. The boy had lightened up a bit on their walk over, and once Spike had started up the usual bickering things had seemed almost normal. But he could still see sadness in the boy's eyes, and his scent was so... needy. When he'd pinched the whelp, for amusement, he'd been surprised at the sudden leap in the smell of arousal from him. That had caused the raising of his scarred eyebrow in thought. //Very interesting reaction their, pet//
The meeting adjourned and Spike, with fake reluctance, agreed to partner the whelp on patrol. Their usual banter continued as they walked to the cemetery. When they reached their destination, they wandered aimlessly amongst the headstones for a while; silence fell between them. Xander was worrying about things with Anya and Spike was trying to work out how to get him to open up.
A crunching sound caught his attention and the blond stilled and held up a hand to the boy. //Just can't get the quality of vampires these days// Spike spun and kicked out with his foot sending the fledge - that had been not-creeping up on them - sprawling. He could hear Xander making witty comments from the side, and giving marks out of ten for style and performance. Spike shook his head, chuckling as he thrust the stake into the attacking vampire's chest. He stood up and brushed the dust from his leather coat and grinned at the boy.
"Might want to look out behind ya, pet."
Xander yelped and jumped to the side, pulling a stake from his waistband and turning as he brought it upwards. Luck would have it, that the fledge was just lunging forward and at the unfortunate angle, the stake found its target without any effort on the human's part.
Spike patted him on the back. "Nice work, pet." He let it rest there a little longer than necessary while he contemplated the boy's luck.
Xander gave a mock bow, "why thank you, that kind of action took many years to perfect."
They both snorted in amusement at the same time. They looked at each other, sniggering, before carrying on walking. Xander scrunched his eyes up and stopped, looking into the dark.
"What's that?"
Spike focused his attention on what had distracted Xander and frowned. He could hear the rustling of leaves in the wind but it wasn't the usual sound. They proceeded with caution, slowly edging closer to the anomaly. A swirling mass, extending less than three feet up from the ground, was in front of them, picking dirt, leaves, and anything else up from the ground and sucking it into spiralling type of cyclonic winds. It was stationary and the things it had sucked up were not spat back out but remaining within the funnel.
"Well, it is Sunnydale," Xander grumbled, "Like we would get a normal cyclone."
The blond vampire had to agree. "S'weird alright, think we should go tell the Watcher?"
The whelp was looking at it too curiously and Spike put his hand on the boy's arm just to be sure he didn't try to do anything stupid, like stick his hand inside.
"What if it moves while we're gone?"
"Doesn't seem t' be goin' anywhere, pet. Ain't letting you go back or stay here on your own. We stick together."
They headed back to Giles' house, at a more rapid pace than they'd been moving before. When they reached the front door, Xander was about to reach out and knock when his arm was again caught in Spike's grip. The vampire put a silencing finger to his lips and listened carefully.
"So, you see... I'm worried about him, Giles. I mean... he obviously has a problem if he wants that sort of thing. Don't you think? It's not normal for a young man, surely? He needs help, we have to help him." Spike could hear Anya's voice from inside, she was telling the man about his nummy's problem.
Spike leaned down and whispered in Xander's ear, "Anya's in there talking to the bloody Watcher."
He could scent fear and shame rolling off the boy at his revelation, looking at his face he could see the colour had drained from it. The vampire still had hold of his arm and he gently pulled him away from the house. He didn't let go of it, afraid that Xander would bolt before he had chance to find out what was going on.
They ended up in an all night diner, Xander couldn't believe there were any of them stupid enough to still be opening after dark in Sunnydale. He had kept looking at the hand on his arm, and wondering what Spike knew. He hadn't tried to shake the grip off on their walk, in fact he'd found it strangely comforting, it had helped ward off the panic that was overwhelming him.
Spike led the way to a booth at the back of the diner and ordered them both coffee and donuts. When they were settled, he finally let go of the arm he'd been holding. He was studying the brunette closely for clues as to what was going on, but was still drawing a blank.
"D...did you hear... I mean could you tell what she was saying?" Xander finally asked, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, I've heard some... heard some at your place too. Figured, if you wanted advice you'd ask, y'know?" Spike said casually, leaning back in his seat. "She'd finished telling him about it and was on the 'he needs help' bit."
"Christ." The brunette exclaimed and leaned forward burying his face in his folded arms.
After a little while, Spike could see his shoulders shaking and thought for a moment that he was crying, but there was a distinct lack of the scent of saline. Then the boy looked up at him and he could see he wasn't crying but laughing. The vampire raised an inquiring eyebrow and waited patiently for his nummy to calm down.
The waitress brought their order and gave Xander a strange look before leaving them alone. Looking at his coffee, he finally stopped laughing and shook his head.
"You would think, an ex-vengeance demon that's lived as long as she has would have at least come across that sort of thing before. I mean, I thought if anyone would get it, she would." He was still chuckling to himself at some, as yet, private irony. He added sugar to his coffee and looked up at Spike.
The vampire had been waiting with a patience that few had ever given him credit for possessing. He prepared his own coffee, "What sort of thing's that then?"
Xander stared at the mug on the table, turning it in his hands, then took a deep breath, looked up at Spike, and smiled shyly. "Bondage, S&M that sort of stuff... y'know kink. I asked her to dominate me." His voice was quiet and he smelled again of shame.
Spike blinked at the answer, a small smile tugged at his lips, it grew and grew until it was a broad grin, and then he was laughing. He laughed so hard his sides ached. Xander sat there looking at him bemused, then his lips twitched with a smile again and he relaxed visibly.
The vampire forced himself to calm down and smiled encouragingly at Xander, "She, an ex-vengeance demon, thinks that *you're* sick for wanting kinky sex?" He shook his head, "That's hilarious, pet." He chuckled again and then grew serious as he scented the shame again.
The whelp was staring at the coffee in his cup with such intensity that it was a wonder it wasn't boiling on its own. He looked utterly miserable and embarrassed. The blond reached a slender hand across and took hold of one of Xander's, giving it a light squeeze of reassurance.
"Silly bint doesn't know what she's thrown away." Spike muttered. He didn't think it had been loud enough to be heard, but that dark haired head shot up to look at him.
"There's nothing wrong with you, pet. There's lots of people like it that way. Hell, I should know, kinky as hell meself, y'know." Spike's blue eyes twinkled, knowingly.
He'd captured the brunette's attention and he was looking at him with lost, chocolate brown, puppy dog eyes. "You're into that stuff too?"
The blond gave his trademark smirk and nodded, he still hadn't let go of the hand and was now lightly stroking it with his thumb. "Yeah, Angel too... in fact... he's probably the kinkiest guy y'could ever meet, you'd be surprised at what he likes, pet." He winked, conspiratorially.
"Angel?" Xander blinked and at the confirming nod he continued, "how do you know?"
Spike grinned, "peaches is my grandsire, remember. Vamps tend t' keep it in the family, if y'know what I mean?"
Xander's eyes widened. "You and Angel? Do you think Buffy knows?"
The blond vampire laughed and shook his head. "Not likely, doubt she's the type t' take kindly to her fella batting for both teams."
"Wow... that's... wow..."
Sipping his coffee, Spike watched the, normally vocal scoobie, struggling for words. "So, believe me when I tell you, there really is nothing wrong with you. Nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, you ain't sick, or in need of help and its her loss. That stuff can be bloody good fun."
Xander smiled shyly at him. "She acted like that to me being kinky, how do you think she'd handle me being bisexual?"
Spike felt his insides flutter with joy, he hadn't thought he'd had a chance, that even though he thought of him as his nummy treat, he was straight and off limits. He grinned. Oh, this was going to be fun.
"Reckon she'd try t' have you committed, don't worry though, pet, not gonna let her do that now am I?" He said softly, squeezed, and then patted Xander's hand.
The human blushed, "Spike?"
The blond menace raised his eyebrow, and pointed at the donut on Xander's plate, "Eat up, pet, think you're gonna need your strength."
"Spike, I haven't even said I'm interested in you, you're making assumptions aren't you?" He shook his head mournfully.
"Nah, pet. I can smell a mile off that ya like me." He leaned over the table and whispered, "Want me t' make you mine, don't ya, pet. Tie you up, make you hurt so good, then fuck you hard... mark you as mine."
As he talked, he could smell the arousal of the boy, increasing with each suggestion. When he finished, Xander moaned softly, any normal person would have missed it, but not Spike with his preternatural senses. He nodded at the boy, acknowledging that what he'd said was the truth. Xander dug into his donut, practically inhaling it, he drained his coffee cup and got to his feet.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" The brunette asked, looking down at the still seated Spike. He pouted and gave pleading puppy eyes.
The blond was on his feet and next to him within the blink of an eye. "Are you sure, pet?" He whispered into his ear, deliberately blowing cool air over the sensitive skin.
Xander shivered, "Oh yeah."
The end?