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„So..."
Nick looked up.
"So what, Mom?"
Jillian smiled, a knowing smile, a smile that made Nick shiver slightly. And not in a good way...
"Who is she?"
Nick almost cut off his finger. He dropped the knife which he had been cutting the carrots with, and gazed at her incredulously. He was at home for a few days in Texas, and his mother's question caught him completely off-guard. Usually she waited until the whole family was gathered. Sometimes he thought she simply enjoyed seeing him squirm.
"She?"
He winced inwardly. Oh yes, stalling for time. Clever, Nicky. His mother's smile became a grin, and another shiver went down his back.
"Oh come on...I know that look on your face...dreamy, soft, you haven't even heard a single thing I said and you're smiling the whole time."
"I'm not," he said. And smiled.
"You SO are. So tell me about her. Who is she? Do I know her?"
Sure, Mom. 'She' is a 'he', and he's my boss. Of course you know him.
"There is nobody, Mom. Really."
He seemed to be convincing, for her face fell slightly. For a second she seemed to be at a loss for words, then she tried to smile but it wasn't quite as happy as before.
"It's okay, Nicky. If you don't want to talk about it..." She turned away and sniffed a little.
With a deep sigh, Nick followed her and embraced her from behind.
"Mom. I promise you...there IS no woman in my life. If there were, you'd be the first to know. Okay?" And I'd be the first to be surprised, he added in his mind.
She smiled again, this time a little more heartfelt, and nodded.
"Okay, Nicky. Now hush, back to the vegetables. I want to finish this stew."
Nick laughed, hugged her tightly, and kissed her temple.
"Okay. And promise you'll make your famous apple pie for dessert?"
"I promise," his mother laughed, and for a second Nick's laughter stuck in his throat.
'Say you promise!' Gil's voice, urgent, scared, yet full of hope. The only thing cutting through his haze. 'I promise.' His own voice, barely above a whisper, words forced out of a raw throat.
His mother's hand on his arm startled him slightly.
"Nicky, you all right?"
His smile was a little forced now, but lucky for him his mother didn't seem to notice. "Sure. I...ah...I'll go back to my carrots, okay?"
He turned his back to her, hoping that she would leave it at that.
And thankfully, she did that.
********************************************************
"I missed you."
Soft words whispered against his skin, and Nick had to laugh lightly because the breath tickled him.
"I missed you, too." Nick turned around and gazed at his lover. Gil. His blue eyes looked at him with so much love that his heart involuntarily beat faster. He reached out, put one hand behind Gil's neck, and pulled the older man gently over to kiss him.
But somehow Gil seemed to notice that his lover's thoughts weren't quite where they used to be.
"What's bothering you, Nicky?"
"Huh?"
Gil smiled lovingly.
"I know you, Nicky. Ever since you're back from Texas you seem to be...I don't know...absentminded? Did something happen?"
"NO!" Too quick, Nicky...much too quick. He sighed inwardly when he saw how realization dawned in his lover's eyes.
"Your mother's bothering you again?"
Now Nick looked down and tried to avoid Gil's gaze.
"Not exactly bothering."
"But?" Gil inquired. Nick took a deep breath and then he rushed out,
"ShethinksIhaveagirlshedoesn'tknowabout."
It took some seconds for Gil to pick the single words out of this monster sentence. Then he smiled. And laughed. Laughed until tears streamed down his face.
"I'm sorry, Nicky. So sorry. Let me guess...you still haven't told her about you? About us?"
Now Nick blushed.
"Nooo...I...ah...it was never the right time...you know?"
Gil tried his best to be serious again. He cleared his throat a few times before asking, "How long have we been together now, Nick?"
"Eighteen months, two weeks and four days." Again too quick, but this time he smiled tenderly.
"Exactly. Since then you've been to Texas at least ten times. And the time was never right?"
Nick dropped back onto the bed, and sighed deeply.
"Oh damned, Gil. You know that I want to tell her, but somehow...I can't. And," he pulled himself up on his elbows and gazed sharply at Gil, "don't you dare think that I'm ashamed of you."
Gil only shook his head. "Never would." No, been there, done that, went over it, he thought. "It took me almost forty years to out myself to my mother. And she really is openminded."
"What did she say?"
Gil smiled tenderly as he remembered that one evening at his mother's home. "She said to bring my friend over, she wanted to meet him."
"Did you?"
Gil shrugged. "Not really. I was single at the time. But when we came together, I introduced you to her, didn't I?"
Nick reached out to stroke the graying hair of his lover. "Yes, you did."
Gil kissed his younger lover gently. "I don't want you to rush things. Whenever you think you're ready, it's okay by me."
"Thanks." Nick whispered.
**********************************************************
"Mom! Please stop it!"
"..."
Gil had to suppress his laughter when he listened to the annoyed tone of his lover's voice. It was Sunday and they both had the weekend off. So they spend the time together at Gil's condo, reading, watching TV (mostly Discovery Channel), and making love. And thanks to the new TV set in their bedroom they didn't even have to leave their bed. Until the ringing of Nick's cellphone had disturbed them.
"I know that I'm not at home. I just picked up my cell."
"..."
"I'm with a...friend."
"..."
"No, Mom, he's not female." Definitely not female, he thought, as his gaze wandered lovingly over the naked form of his lover. Oh no, SO not female. Thank god!
"..."
"Why do you want to know his name? Mom, look, I really appreciate your concern, but don't you think that ever since that...incident with me getting lost, you're a little overprotective?"
"..."
"Yes, it fits perfectly. You call me at least three times a week, leave messages on my voice mail on a daily basis, and want to see me almost every free weekend. Mom, you're suffocating me."
"..."
"Oh please, it wasn't meant that...no, stop crying now. There is no reason, and I...yes, I'll come down on my next free weekend, okay?"
"..."
"Yes, if I have a...partner then. Sure thing, bringing over, yes. Bye, mom."
"..."
"Yes, I love you, too. What? No, I don't hide something from you. No. Yes, see you then. Bye. I said BYE MOM!"
Groaning, Nick cut the line and switched his cell off completely. He crawled closer to Gil, rested his head on the older man's thigh and sighed deeply.
After a few seconds he could feel his lover's hand on his head, stroking him as if he was a giant cat. He closed his eyes under the loving ministrations and felt some of the tension leave his body. He thought about his chat with his mother, and suddenly it seemed ridiculous to him not to let her know that he HAD a partner. That he indeed was terribly in love. That he practically lived together with someone. And that this someone was the most precious person in his life. She knew Gil. She would understand.
And she could tell his father.
Cisco's reaction was unpredictable. Maybe his mother could prepare him. Without opening his eyes, he murmured, "I want you to join me the next time I go to Texas."
The stroking came to a sudden halt.
"Are you sure?"
Nick moved up, leaned closer to his older lover and kissed him with all the love he felt inside.
"Never been so sure before."
"Then I'll come with you."
************************************************************
Their lovemaking this night was intense. But hours later, Gil was still lying awake, holding the sleeping Nick in his arms, listening to his even breathing.
He hadn't lied to his young lover. He'd just bent the truth a bit.
Truth was, he wasn't ashamed of his sexuality. He had been bisexual for as long as he could remember, and the older he had gotten the more he had realized that he preferred men to women.
It had taken all his courage to tell his mother that he would never marry, and would never give her grandchildren. Her reaction had taken him by surprise and after his confession he had loved her even more.
But now he was about to face his biggest challenge...meeting Nick's parents.
Again.
But this time not as Judge Stokes and his wife, but as his lover's parents.
How would they react? They didn't know that their son was gay, didn't know that he had been living in a gay relationship for over a year now.
With a man that was fifteen years older. He looked down at Nick. He was so beautiful. His lean, well-muscled body molded perfectly to his own, his dark hair that was now longer again, was silken and tickled slightly where his lover's head rested on his shoulder.
Then he looked down at himself. And once again he wondered what Nick saw in him. He wasn't good-looking anymore, his hair was already heavily interlaced with gray, his middle was getting soft, and his glory days were far behind him.
A kiss on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts. He gazed into the dark brown eyes of his lover.
"You don't have to come with me if you don't want to." Nick whispered against his skin. "I can feel how tense you are. And I can guess why. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, we..."
A finger on his lips silenced him, followed by the soft lips of his lover.
"I want to. I'm just not sure if you're ready to face your parents with me. I'm not exactly the ideal son-in-law."
"But you're the man I love. And that's all that counts. Come with me, please."
Gil smiled. Apparently it meant a lot to Nick. And who was he to say no? Especially when his lover gazed at him with THAT look. He simply melted away, and nodded.
It was all he could do.
And his whole future now lay in the hands of Judge Stokes and his wife.
*********************************************
Gil was nervous.
REALLY nervous. Nick could read it in every gesture, in every look, in every movement of his lover's body.
And once more he wondered if he had the right to drag him into this.
Sure, it would be a relief finally to be able to tell his mother about the man he shared bed and table with. It would be a relief that she would finally stop bothering him with her 'when-will-you-find-a-nice-girl-and-get-married'. And it would be a relief for him to be able to call Gil should he happen to be alone in Texas. To call him openly, not hide somewhere outside where no one could hear him. To call him openly and tell him how much he missed him, how he loved him, and that he was looking forward to seeing him again.
Nick took another sip of his coffee, the good stuff from Greg, and with a smile on his face he went to find Catherine.
To plan his next free weekend.
***************************************************
Nick was nervous.
REALLY nervous. Gil could see it in his young lover's face. In his shaking hand that was holding the telephone, and in his trembling finger typing in the number.
"Do you want to be alone?" he asked carefully. Nick shook his head, finished the number, took a deep breath, and reached out for him, grabbing his hand and holding it tight while he waited for one of his parents to answer the call.
"Stay. I need you." he whispered, and then, "Hi, Mom. It's me, Nick."
"..."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, Mom, I wanted to tell you that...well, I'm coming over next weekend. And...I won't be alone."
"..."
"Yes, I want you and Cisco to meet someone."
"..."
"No, I won't tell you on the phone. We'll come over next weekend, okay? You...ah...you don't have to make up the guestroom, we'll stay at the Hotel."
"..."
"No, Mom. Please. It...it might be better."
"..."
"Yes, we'll be at the airport at half past four. We'll take a rental car. You don't have to come get us."
"..."
"No, mom. It's no prob. Okay. See you then. And mom? I love you."
"..."
"Yeah, bye. Tell Cisco I said hi, okay? Bye."
********************************************
The plane landed right on time. Both men had been silent almost the whole flight. Both men were following their own thoughts, and were not in the mood for some easy chatting.
They picked up the rental, and Nick sat down behind the steering wheel. With a little embarrassement he realized that his hands were wet with sweat. Suddenly, strong fingers grabbed his neck and his lover pulled him over, giving him a long, deep, passionate kiss.
"I love you, Nicky. Whatever happens this weekend, whatever you decide to tell your parents about us...I love you, and nothing you do can ever change that, okay?"
Nick only nodded and swallowed. Then he put the car in gear and they headed off.
***********************************************
Jillian was nervous.
Her husband could see it in every gesture she made, in every breath she was taking, and in every cushion she straightened once more. Finally he had enough, grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto his lap.
"Jill, sit down. Our son is coming over for the weekend, bringing his girlfriend over for the first time and you're a nervous wreck. What the hell is wrong with you?"
With a deep sigh she relaxed in her husband's arms. She didn't know what was wrong. It had to be some kind of a mother-son-thing. Something deep inside her gut told her that something was going to happen tonight.
And about the girlfriend...suddenly she wasn't so sure anymore that it really was a GIRLfriend. More a BOYfriend.
How would her husband react? Her only son, and he might be bringing home one more son-in-law. She didn't have any problems if her son really was gay, but what if he brought home some kind of freak? Someone with colored hair, torn trousers, and pierced to no end? Or what if it was a biker? Some bulky man covered in tattoos from head to toe? She shook her head at the mental image of her son with a black leather collar around his neck, and hid her face in the crook of her husband's neck.
She had a really, really weird feeling.
***************************************
Nick stoped the car in front of his parents' house. For a few seconds both men simply sat in the car and stared at the tall house.
"You won't get any answers if you stay here and keep staring at the house." Gil's voice interrupted his dark, brooding mood. With a small smile he looked over at Gil, seeing his tight lips, the tenseness in his shoulders, and knew that this wasn't any easier for the older man.
"You're right. Let's go."
They opened their doors, got out and walked around the car to the trunk to take out their luggage. Suddenly Nick nudged him gently.
"They know that we're here."
Gil looked up, surprise clear on his face.
"How do you know?"
"I've seen Mom's face on her bedroom window. Well, I guess, now she knows that I'm bringing you with me."
*************************************
Hastily, Jillian dropped the curtain. Nick had seen her. And she had seen him. And the man he was bringing with him. She leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes, a weird feeling in her gut.
A man.
Nick was really bringing a man home. Did this mean that her son really was...gay? She felt panic rise in her chest. What would her husband say? Their only son. His pride. His love! The son he was so terribly proud of. With a sigh she moved away from the window, took a deep breath to calm herself down, put on her brightest smile when she heard the doorbell ring, and went downstairs to greet her son.
And his lover.
************************************
She really wanted to be the one to answer the door, but for the first time her husband beat her on her way to the front door. She held her breathe when she heard his voice, "Pancho! So good to see you again."
There was a slight pause. Then, "Dr. Grissom. What a...surprise to see you again. Nick didn't mention that you would join him."
"Yes, dad, I did." Nick, his voice strong and selfconfident.
Jillian was at the end of the stairs now, and joined her husband on the door now. Still the smile was plastered on her face.
"Nicky, Dr. Grissom. Please, come on in. The coffee's ready and I even made your favorite cookies."
Nick's face lit up in a beautiful smile.
"Chocolate chip?"
She nodded.
Nick walked past her, grabbing Gil's hand and dragging him along inside the house, past his parents. Jillian saw the gesture, and she suddenly knew...this time it was serious. And she barely managed to suppress another sigh.
Bill Stokes saw it, too. And for a second he frowned.
His son holding hands with another man? He gestured them inside, and closed the door behind them. His son didn't release the older man's hand. He thought about that. It almost seemed as if his son wanted to tell them something with this hand-holding-thing. Well, they would have to wait and see.
They sat down, and Gil had the feeling he was walking through a minefield. Nick's hand in his gave him some kind of strength but he wasn't quite sure who draw more courage from whom.
They sat next to each other on a large sofa, and Nick's parents sat down in front of them. Carefully, Gil tried to disentangle his hand from Nick's grip, but the younger man had a tight grip. After a few seconds, Gil gave up.
"So..."
Again this one word from Nick's mother, and Nick began to sweat.
"Your mother told me that there is someone you want to introduce us to?" Bill began. "I just wonder who this might be. As you know, we met Dr. Grissom already. A few months ago. I'm sure you remember."
His son swallowed, and his grip around his lover's hand tightened involuntarily. Without thinking, Gil raised their joined hands and kissed Nick's almost white knuckles, murmuring, "Love, let go. You hurt me there."
He noticed his mistake in the same moment the words had left his mouth.The following silence was defeaning.
Nick stared at his lover, then at his parents, and finally he released his grip on Gil's hand long enough for the older man to pull his tortured fingers away.
"Thank you, love." Gil said sarcastically. "With a little luck I'll regain the feeling in my hand again in the next few hours."
Nick still seemed unable to say something, so with a worried expression the older man shook him slightly.
"Nick? Nicky? You all right?"
Those amazing dark eyes were now fixed on him, and he saw pain in them, misery, and hidden deep down, a little spark of the young man's unique sense of humor.
Suddenly his young lover took a deep, shuddering breath and without looking at his parents, his dark eyes still glued to the blue eyes of his lover as if to draw strength from him, Nick said slowly and quietly,
"Mom, Cisco, I want you to meet Gil, not Dr. Grissom. My former boss, and lover for over a year and a half now. I'm gay, and I live in a gay relationship. I love Gil. More than I ever thought possible."
Now he turned to look at his mother. "I'm sorry, mom. I should have told you the last time I was here, but somehow I never found the courage. So I asked Gil to join me this time."
Silence. Neither Jillian nor Bill said a word.
And for a brief second, Nick considered simply fainting. His mother was ghostly pale, and his father's face was as expressionless as a mask. Without really looking, Nick searched for his lover's hand again, seeking some kind of courage out of the simple fact that Gil was with him.
His father cleared his throat. Once, twice, then finally seemed to be able to say something.
"So, these is the big news you wanted to tell us?"
Nick nodded, and his grip around Gil's fingers tightened once more but this time not as painful as the last time.
"Yes," he almost whispered, "I wanted you to meet Gil. Properly. Not as my boss. Or my colleague. But as my...my...my partner. My lover."
His father got up, walked over to the large window, and gazed outside. Without turning around, he spoke again.
"Why, Nick? Why now? You've been silent for so long, have hidden yourself, lied to us, betrayed all the women you ever dated. Why are you coming out now? After all these years..."
Nick looked down at his and Gil's hand. Their joined hands. Joined hands, joined lives. They were two halves of one being. They belonged together. And he was so sick of hiding. Sick of lying. He felt a little pressure on his hand, and looked up, directly into the blue eyes of his lover. He remembered his words 'Whatever happens this weekend, whatever you decide to tell your parents about us...I love you, and nothing you do can ever change that.' And suddenly everything was easy. So wonderfully easy.
"Because I finally found someone that I truly love. And who loves me. Though why he does is still a miracle to me. I'm proud to be loved by this man. And I want the whole world to know it."
Nick watched his father intently, saw him raise his shoulder as he heaved a deep sigh. When he turned around, there was something in his father's eyes that Nick was unable to decipher.
He threw one long look at Gil, then he made a gesture to the adjoining room.
"Dr. Grissom? One word, please."
Gil got up, and somehow he had the feeling this was his final destination.
Nick watched his lover leave with his father, and helplessly stared at his mother, who only shrugged.
**********************************************
Bill closed the folding door, and walked over to a little cabinet.
"You want something to drink, Dr. Grissom?"
"No, thank you, sir. I'd like to remain sober."
Now Bill cast him a quick look over his shoulder, and smiled a little. For the first time.
"I didn't want to make you drunk, Dr. Grissom. I just thought that a drink might help you to loosen up a little. You seem pretty tense."
Now Gil allowed himself a little smile, too.
"I'm not tense, Judge Stokes. To be honest, I'm pretty nervous. But not because of me. Because of Nick."
Now Bill furrowed his brow.
"Because of Nick? Why?"
Gil swallowed.
"Because he just told you that he's gay. And that he lives with me, and I'm fifteen years his senior. I know enough fathers who would find this a big problem."
Bill poured himself a big whiskey, then he glanced over at Gil who stood there like a child before his principal, and poured him one, too. A big one. And handed it over. Then he sat down, and threw Gil an inviting look. But when Gil remained standing, he finally patted the place next to him. Hesitantly, Gil sat down.
"Dr. Grissom, you're very honest. I appreciate that. And I want to be honest with you, too. I must admit, that Nick's...confession...caught me by surprise. All those years...you would think that a father should notice something, wouldn't you? But I always thought that he's just...I don't know...shy, maybe? Then one day he comes home, tells us he's gay and to top it all he brings his lover home to meet us."
Bill took a big gulp, and gasped slightly as the strong liquid burned its way down his throat. Gil only nipped a bit. And waited. He sensed that Nick's father wasn't finished yet.
He was right, because after a few moments Bill continued.
"Do you know that we have a lot in common?"
This time Gil was surprised, and he didn't even try to hide it.
"Do we?"
Now the judge smiled openly. And honestly. It was a warm, friendly smile, and suddenly Gil knew exactly from whom Nick had his amazing smile.
"First of all...we both love Nicky. And second...we're both old enough to know exactly what we want."
We're old enough...did this mean...
"My age doesn't...I don't know...disturb you?"
"Disturb?" Bill laughed, and this time it sounded slightly bitter again. "Not in the slightest. It's not the age that disturbs me. I'm glad that Nicky finally found someone who loves him the way he deserves. I want my son to be happy, Dr. Grissom. And if he found his love with you...than that's okay by me. But he's still so young, and..."
"...and he's absolutely able to make his own decisions. Judge Stokes, your son is 34 years old now. Do you really think I could make him do things he doesn't want to do?"
"No. Of course not, Dr. Grissom. I'm sorry. I didn't want to imply something."
For a few seconds, both men stared down in their glass, swirling the golden liquid inside. Suddenly Gil felt a hand on his shoulder, and looking up, he found himself under the intense focus of Judge Bill Stokes.
"Nicky is very special to me. As you know, he's my only son."
Gil nodded. "He's very special to me, too. I cannot imagine my life without him in it."
"I can see that he loves you. Otherwise all this hand-holding wouldn't have happened. I've seen him with a few girls, and never before have I seen that look in his eyes. You seem to make him happy, Dr. Grissom. That's good."
Gil sighed deeply, laid his head back against the sofa's headrest, and closed his eyes. With a quiet voice he began to talk. To explain.
"I guess I should tell you something about me, Judge Stokes. Just so you can understand me a little better."
He was quiet for a second before he continued,
"For a very long time the only thing I loved was my job. It was the only thing that was important to me. Then, one day, your son walked into my office, applying for the job of a CSI. I can't say it was love at first sight...I'm too old to believe in that. Was already too old five years ago. But little by little, day after day, your son showed me that there was more than my job. More than collecting evidence. He was always there for me, sometimes taking me by the hand, showing me other options. Literally. And I fell for him. It was so easy. HE made it so easy."
Gil fell silent. He still remembered that one night when Nick had suddenly shown up on his doorstep. The night after the case with the murdered children. He'd been devastated, lost in tears, and Gil had taken him in, had tried to comfort him the best he could. And suddenly, under all these tears, Nick had told him that he was afraid. Afraid of losing him, Gil. Because Nick loved him. That day had shown him how fragile life was. And how short his was, sometimes. Gil had put him to bed. Alone, though Nick had done his best to convince him to stay. But it wasn't before the next day that the first kiss had happened. In the morning, with Nick's body warm and pliant against his, his mouth seductive and oh-so-convincing. And his eyes, his eyes that Gil could read like they were an open book. All his soul was laying in those dark eyes. So one thing had led to another, and barely half an hour later, Gil had been unable to remember his own name. Nick was in his arms, in his mind, in his body, and in his heart. Forever in his heart.
"Nick has a very strong mind. Once he decides to get something, there is no way to stop him. And he had set his mind on getting me."
Now Gil blushed a little. It was strange to talk about his first time with Nick. Especially in front of Nick's father.
"You love him." Bill's voice was quiet, very controlled. Gil only nodded.
"He got me. He's overwhelming. His charm, his strong mind, his dedication to his work, his love for the people, I simply fell for him. I had no chance to escape. And now we're here. Because Nicky wanted to share his biggest secret with the people he loves most."
Bill got up again, and refilled both of their glasses. Then he sat down again, but Gil could feel that he was more relaxed than before. So Gil continued,
"I'm sorry that Nick won't be able to give you grand-children..."
"It's not about that, Dr. Grissom." Bill interrupted him, and smiled a little. "I have six daughters, five of them are married, and four of them already have children, the fifth is pregnant. Right at this moment I have eight, no, nine grand-children. All I want is my son to be happy."
"He is," Gil whispered. "I'm sure he is. God, I hope he is."
"Yeah, he is. I can see it in his eyes." Suddenly an elbow nudged Gil gently in the side. He looked up to find Nick's father looking at him with a friendly expression on his face. He softly clinked glasses with him.
"Call me Bill."
And hesitantly, Gil smiled.
*******************************************
"Nicky, please sit down. Your father won't bite him."
Nick was trying to keep calm, but Gil and his father were in there much too long for his liking. So he paced the living room. From the door to the window, and back again.
"I...how come you're so calm about it?"
Jillian smiled. Then she reached out, grabbed one of his hands and pulled her son down next to her. She kept her son's hand in hers, and patted it gently.
"Why did you ever think that you had to keep it a secret to us?"
Nick felt himself blush slightly, and sat down heavily next to his mother. With a sigh, he said, "I don't know. Guess I was afraid."
His mother put a hand on his shoulder.
"Afraid of us? Why?"
Nick laughed bitterly.
"Mom, please. I know what's it like to be gay. Still have a scar from Dallas with fondest greetings from my so-called colleagues at the PD, and...Mom, you all right?"
His mother had grown pale.
"Nicky, you told us it was an accident."
"It was. If you want to call it an accident when a fellow police officer takes you aside to beat you back to 'normal'," interrupted Gil's voice the talk between mother and son, and surprised they looked up. Unnoticed by them, Bill had opened the door, and both he and Gil were standing there. Bill's jaw tightened at Gil's words, and the CSI came to the conclusion that his lover's parents hadn't known it.
"I'm sorry, Nicky. I didn't know that you haven't told them."
Nick sighed deeply. This hadn't exactly been the way he had wanted to tell this to his parents. To be precise, this was something from his past that he hadn't been wanting to share with them at all. But now that the milk was spilled, there was no reason to cry over it.
And suddenly he felt very tired. The flight, the ride in the car from the airport to his parent's home, the tenseness of this situation. He swayed slightly, and suddenly he remembered that the last time he had eaten something had been yesterday morning. In an instant he felt Gil's arms around his waist, steadying him, guiding him gently down on the sofa.
"Whoa, Nicky. You alright?"
Nick closed his eyes and shook his head. No. No, he wasn't alright. Somehow everything seemed to be too much to handle, and all his power seemed to drain away. He pressed his face against Gil's throat, inhaling his lover's scent.
A soft kiss was pressed to his temple and he smiled a bit.
"I'm tired, Gil. Let's go to the hotel, please."
Only with half an ear, he could hear his mother's protest that they could stay here, in the guestroom.
But he could also feel Gil shaking his head no. No, that was very nice, but right now it would be better if they spent some time alone. All of them, to think things over, to get used to the new situation.
Nick kissed his mother on her cheek, gave his father a hug, and then they were sitting in the car, with Gil behind the steering wheel.
They arrived at the hotel only ten minutes later, and were silent on their way up to the room. Nick went straight to the bedroom and let himself drop down on the bed. Gil grabbed the phone and ordered something to eat for both of them. The clerk on the other end of the line told him that dinner would be ready in about twenty minutes.
When he came back to the bedroom, Nick was already sound asleep.
************************************
With a tender smile, Gil watched his younger lover. He was still fully dressed, and carefully he began to undress him. First his shoes, then his socks and trousers, followed by his boxers. His shirt came off last. Then he pulled the covers up over him, and with a deep sigh, Nick snuggled closer into the warmth without waking up.
All in all, it had been better then he had expected. Nick's parents didn't seem too shocked, and the long talk with Nick's father had shown him that the love for Nick would make them able to overcome this little...shock.
A soft knocking on the door indicated the arrival of the food. Gil walked to the door, opened it, and a young waiter carefully wheeled a trolley in. Gil gave him a generous tip, and the kid left with a big smile on his face.
Gil considered to wake Nick, but then he decided that the young man needed sleep just as much.
He sat down, and opened the bottle of red wine with a soft 'plop' when suddenly Nick appeared in the doorway, his eyes still half closed but a soft smile on his face while he sniffed like a bloodhound.
"Hmmm...something smells great here."
He sat down next to Gil, and kissed his lover softly on the cheek.
"Thanks."
Gil frowned slightly. "What for?"
Nick put a piece of the really excellent Filet Mignon in his mouth and chewed it with a very content sigh.
"Hmm...that's good. For being here with me."
And he took the next bite. When there was no answer, he turned to Gil and looked at him. And swallowed. There was something in his lover's eyes that made him shiver. For a few seconds they were silent, only staring at each other, the food cooling down between them. Suddenly Gil took Nick's face in his hands and kissed him. It was so tender, so full of love that the younger man felt shaken deep down to his chore. Then Gil rested his forehead against his lover's.
"If I could, Nicky...if WE could...would you marry me?"
Without hesitation, and without moving away, Nick breathed against his lover's mouth, "Yes, Gil. Oh yes."
The smile he got from his lover was as blinding as a sunrise over Las Vegas, and the kiss as hot as a day in the desert. For a few seconds they were tempted to skip dinner, but then Nick's stomach grumbled loudly and they laughed heartily. They quickly finished their meal and when they finally fell into bed together, the emotional stress of the day took its toll on them both. They didn't manage more than a few kisses before sleep claimed them both. And five minutes after they had gone to bed, they were both dead to the world.
*********************************
On the other end of the town, Jillian and Bill Stokes were still engaged in a heated discussion.
"You think that's okay? That this is NORMAL?"
Jillian's eyes were wide. Bill sighed deeply.
"What IS normal, Jill?"
"Our son living together with another man surely is NOT normal."
Bill jumped off the sofa, and began to pace the living room. It hurt Jillian how much this resembled Nick's behaviour from a few hours previously. Whenever she closed her eyes, she could see Nick, her son Nicky, pressed up against this Gil Grissom. This just wasn't right.
"I've talked with him." Bill said after a while.
"Him?"
"Gil Grissom. He...he loves Nicky very much."
"Of course, he does." Jillian replied, her voice sounded bitter. "Nick is fifteen years younger, good looking, and can easily be influenced."
"He's not a child anymore, Jillian!" Bill interrupter her angrily. "He CAN'T be influenced. He's an adult. And Gil Grissom is a very nice man. He sure as hell won't force Nick into anything he doesn't want to do."
"HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?" Jillian yelled.
"BECAUSE I HAVE TALKED TO THIS MAN AND I TRUST HIM!" Bill yelled back, then he took a deep breath to calm himself down again. "Jillian, Jill, honey, come to me." He held out his arms, and Jillian walked into his embrace.
"Look. I had a nice, long talk with Gil. He loves Nick. It's evident in every word he says, every movement he makes and in the way he looks at him. And there is another thing you should know...it was Nick who conquered Gil, not vice versa."
"What?" Jillian pushed herself back a little. Bill smiled at the incredulous expression on her face.
"It was Nick who hunted Gil down. One day he fell in love with him, and from that day on he was determined to get him. Until Gil finally had to give in. You know that Nick can be very...convincing once he sets his mind on something, right?"
"Oh yes," Jillian smiled, and laid her head back against her husband's chest.
"We can be glad that he not only has a job he loves, but also colleagues who accept him the way he is, AND a boss who won't harrass him because of his sexual orientation."
She sighed deeply, and suddenly she had to yawn. Bill smiled tenderly, and pressed a loving kiss to her temple. She felt good and loved, and remembered Gil doing the same to Nick. And there she knew that Bill was right. Gil loved their son.
"Let's go to bed, honey," she murmured. "It's been a long day."
He nodded, and without releasing her, they made their way to the bedroom.
***********************************
Nick awoke shortly after the sun rose. For a few seconds he didn't know where he was, and then the memories came back. The flight to Texas, the meeting with his parents and their not so enthusiastic reaction to his coming out. He remained still. He didn't know if he had made things better. Or worse. But at least he no longer had to hide himself. And his lover. Who would marry him if he could. Maybe they should go to Canada, as far as he knew, gay marriages were possible there. A kiss on his shoulder made him smile. Without turning around he whispered, "Good morning, love." Another kiss was his only answer. Then strong arms encircled his waist, and pulled him back against the sleepwarm body of his lover. He closed his eyes again, feeling content with himself and the world. As long as Gil was here to hold him, and love him, what could go wrong? What could happen? Nothing. Because they were together, married or not.
Suddenly Nick's cellphone on the nightstand rang, and with a groan he opened his eyes again to look at his watch.
"It's fuckin' seven o'clock in the mornin'. There's only one person who would call now..."
He flipped his cell open, and murmured, "Mornin', Cisco." Gil's arms around his body tightened involuntarily, and he had to smile.
"..."
"Yeah, I'm awake NOW. Thanks to my ringing cellphone."
"..."
"For breakfast? Are you sure?"
"..."
"What about mom? Is she...is she all right with Gil and me?"
"..."
"She...what?" Surprised Nick sat up, Gil followed him and looked at him with a concerned expression on his face. But Nick only smiled, and gave his lover a quick kiss on the lips.
"Then I guess she got over it, didn't she?"
"..."
"Yeah, I...give us two hours. It's still just short after sunset."
"..."
"You don't want to know, okay?"
Again Gil frowned, but the happy laughter that accompanied this strange sentence, told him that it had to be something funny.
"If you go on like that, Cisco, it'll be three hours. Yeah, see you later. And Cisco? Love you, man."
"..."
"Yeah, I'll let him know you said hi. But he knows anyway. He's lying next to me."
"..."
"Okay, see you in two hours. Bye."
He shut his cellphone down, and turned to Gil with laughing eyes.
"They invited us over for breakfast."
"And this is good?" Gil's voice sounded slightly questioning at the end. Laughing, Nick jumped his older lover, and threw him back on the covers, hovering over him. Then he bent down to kiss him tenderly.
"It's very good, if mom makes her famous Texas style omelett, her brownies, her pancakes after an old family recipe and...her self-made soda bread. Cisco says she got up an hour ago and started to cook. And this, my love," he kissed Gil again, deeper this time, more passionate, "this is incredibly good. This is her way to welcome you to the family."
Family.
For a few heartbeats Gil stared up into the dark eyes of his beautiful lover. Welcome to the family. Slowly, almost hesitantly, a smile began to spread over his face. And he pulled his lover down for a long kiss.
"How much time have we left? Two hours?"
Nick smiled against his lover's lips. "Give or take five minutes."
"That's enough."
Laughing, Nick gave in to Gil's insistent tugging and let himself drop down on his lover.
************************************
On their flight home they sat together, holding hands, kissing occasionally. The breakfast had been good. No, not good, it had been great. Jillian and Bill had been perfect hosts. They had welcomed him to the Stokes family. They had invited him in, and he intended to stay.
Nick's head rested comfortably on his shoulder, and Gil smiled tenderly. He was almost fifty now, and never ever had he thought that he could love someone so intensely. He kissed the dark hair gently, then he lay his head back and closed his eyes.
The end