Work Text:
author: annakas
feedback: annaliisa@offline.ee
fandom: Final Fantasy 8
pairing: past Rinoa/Squall, wishful Seifer/Squall
warnings: mild Rinoa bashing, angst, crude language
disclaimer: FF8 does not belong to me
A/N: never played the game, read only fic so forgive me when ou see
glaring mistakes in canon. Not betaed but I did go over this with a
spellcheker and one of my friends. Thank you Sookail for that.
Epiphany
by
annakas
It is while finishing off another unsatisfying fight with his yet
another new practice partner that Squall realizes he misses Seifer
for more than only his kill with Hyperion.
The epiphany doesn't feel as disturbing as he thinks it should.
Instead he is relieved because finally he has figured out the missing
piece of a puzzle. This time the buzzle being his heart.
Squall can't pinpoint the time when he fell in love with Seifer or to
be honest even why. Because Seifer was a selfish person, crude rude
and damn annoying at his best behavior. Psychopathic killer at his
worst.
No, that would be dishonest he does know why he loves Seifer and
Squall is not in the habit of lying to himself, he just doesn't want
to believe the reasons.
He knows that a lot of the attraction had to do with Seifer's will
and stubbornness. Seifer was the only one who treated Squall
normally. Not taking his bullshit and whatevers and just stayed close
and did still what Seifer wanted. It was very refreshing.
The best part was that Seifer did not want to talk about feelings or
being friends. Instead the two of them fought like cats and dogs.
Sent each other in to the infirmary more times than he could remember.
He misses that. That there was someone who gave as good as they got
and then some. Now everyone is treating him like a saint or a god.
Squall really hates being a so called war hero.
He can't say he understands why everyone is so suddenly looking up at
him and wanting his opinion on this or that. He just did his job as a
mercenary.
Achieving the goal of being a SeeD is not as satisfying as he thought
it would be. At-least not without Seifer. There is no one who could
kick his ass with a gunblade now and he feels that he is losing his
touch with Lion heart. Seifer was the only one who matched him in
skill with the blade.
The little epiphany had another good point. He finally realised why
he disliked Rinoa and why he was in a relationship with her.
Everyone figured that he and the new sorceress would hook up after
the war and they did. As expected all the romantics around him went a
little overboard with their comments about the Princess having her
white knight in shining armor. Or in this case the Sorceress having
her Knight. True vuvv and all that crap.
Still Squall disliked Rinoa and considering he was her knight and
lover that showed something was very wrong about the matter. Now he
knows he dated the sorceress only because she was Seifer's last
girlfriend and he wanted to be as close to Seifer as he could.
A lot of his dislike originated from Rinoa replacing Seifer so soon
after being the blonds lover. Squall saw it as betrayal to Seifer. Or
atleast his subconscious did, and now his conscious too.
He really can't understand what Seifer saw in the girl. Sure Rinoa
had a beautiful body but to be honest she sucked in bed. Too passive.
She just layed back and he had to do all the work. Like sex was a
great burden she had to live through. Lay back and think of homeland
is the expression that came to mind.
Not that Squall really blamed Rinoa. She was young and inexperienced,
a spoilt daughter of a general who had suddenly been dropped in to a
situation far above her dealings. Unexpected wars and magical powers
could to that to anyone. She just handled the situation as best as
she could. Turning the war in to her personal adventure of love above
all was her way for it. Sadly Squall was the destined other half in
her mind.
She was more in love with the idea of a Sorceress and her Knight than
Rinoa and Squall. The break up was not a easy one or beautiful but
still he stood firm and now no more star crossed lovers.
Now he doesn't know what to do. With the influence he had Squall
canceled all the headhuntings and orders for Seifer's life. Instead
somehow he persuaded the general public of the fact that Seifer was
brainwashed by the Sorceress. He knows that it is not entirely untrue
but some part of Seifer had to know what he did was wrong and still
did it. That doesn't matter because Squall is in love with Seifer and
if lying through his teeth could save the man then he would do it.
This was the only thing so far that being a war hero has come in
handy for.
Next step would be to find Seifer and bring him back to the Garden to
get his SeeD ranking. The hard part would be finding the former
sorceress knight, even harder to convince him to come back but Squall
hopes and is going to find a way even if it is the last thing he does.
The probability of Seifer loving Squall is small but he doesn't care.
Because when ever has Squall gotten what he wants. Live has never
been easy for him and there is no reason why it should start to be so
now.
The important bit is to get Seifer back safe and sound. If hiding
behind his need for a good sparring partner is it then he will do it.
After all there could be worse faiths than having an unrequited love.
Seifer could be dead, but he is not.
So now he needs to find him.
Squall is determined.
And so he does.
Fin.