Work Text:
DISCLAIMER: If I owned any of it I wouldn?t be writing fan fiction
DEDICATION: To SPRIT for helping me make some decisions...
THE SCOOBY DOO GANG VS THE INITIATIVE
By Mary
"We are going to crush you," Buffy shouted across the room at Riley, Prof Walsh, Graham and Forrest.
"I don?t think so, little girl," Prof Walsh spat back.
"Winner takes all," Giles stated.
"Do you want to leave now before we trounce you?" Riley asked.
"Back off, soldier boy," Xander said.
"Yeah," Anya agreed then turned to Xander. "Will this be over soon so we can go have sex?"
"You?re going down," Forrest said menacingly.
"In your dreams," Willow shouted back.
"Last chance to back out," Graham called.
"Not bloody likely," Spike sneered.
"Okay children," Whistler said as he stepped between the two groups. "You all know the rules. This is for supremacy in the area of demon elimination in Sunnydale. Are both group prepared?"
"Yes sir," Riley said with a salute.
"We?re good," Buffy agreed.
"Okay," Whistler said with a nod. "Then onto the battle. I believe The Initiative goes first."
Whistler stepped off the stage and Riley, Walsh, Graham and Forrest took their places.
Riley:
There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow
All:
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Walsh:
Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
All:
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Graham:
Swingin' on the Riviera one day
And then layin' in the Bombay alley next day
Forrest:
Oh no, you let the wrong word slip
While kissing persuasive lips
All:
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Secret agent man
Mild applause filled the room as Riley, Walsh, Forrest and Graham exited the stage. They shot triumphant looks at the Scooby Gang and took seats to watch their competition. The Scooby Gang quickly took the stage and waited for their music.
Giles:
Where forces of darkness abound
The demons and vamps always come around
To satisfy lust for the kill
To feed on the living, and love evil
But when they rise up into the night
The Slayer will come, the slayer will fight
With powers reserved - the Chosen One
In each generation, there's only one...
All:
Buffy...
She's the Slayer,
Oh yeah Buffy...
The Vampire Slayer...
Buffy:
The danger is real, oh Chosen One
You probably won't see even 21
You're missing your life to defend All:
Buffy... she's the Slayer,
Oh yeah Buffy...
The Vampire Slayer...
Oooohaaa...
She's the slayer --
Ohhhhhhh yeah ...
The vampire slayer
Xander:
Nothing else you can do
So much riding on you
Every time you make plans
Hell's mouth opens again
Spike:
Waiting by a grave
Wait for them to rise
You want nothing more
Than a social life
Willow:
Then you fall in love
With a vampire guy
Cause he has a soul
Looks too good to die
Anya:
Wants to help you fight
Cause now he feels all guilty
Could we
Have more irony
Buffy, Willow & Spike:
You're the Chosen One
Your boyfriend is a demon
Who wants to be a saint
But gets all rearranged
Cause on your 17th
When you two hit the sheets
The magic spell goes wrong
And Angel's soul is gone...
All:
Buffy, she's the Slayer
Ohhhhhhh yeah?
The Vampire Slayer
Giles, Xander & Anya:
Where forces of darkness abound
The demons and vamps always come around
But when they rise up in the night
The Slayer will come, the Slayer will fight
All:
Buffy....Buffy....Buffy...
She's the Slayer,
Oh yeah Buffy...
The Vampire Slayer...
Ohhhaaaa
She's the Slayer
Ohhhhhhh yeah...
The Vampire Slayer
She's the Slayer
When they were done singing the Scooby Gang looked smugly at The Initiative group and waited for Whistler.
"Well," Whistler began, "that was quite impressive from both sides. Now onto the judges. I?ll take a moment and introduce them..."
The spotlight swung around and illuminated a table in the middle of the room. There were three people and one empty chair sitting there.
"First we have Angel," Whistler began. "And seated next to him is Cordelia Chase. The uptight looking man next to her is Wesley Windham-Price and the chair that looks empty is actually being occupied by Dennis, Cordelia?s roommate."
"This isn?t fair!" Forrest called out. "All those people are friends with the Scooby Gang. How can they judge impartially?"
"Hey," Cordelia called out. "I can be impartial. In fact I think that if i was going to lean in anyones direction it would be yours. Let me go thought the "gang" for you. Buffy made me loose Homecoming Queen my senior year. Xander is my ex and Willow is the girl he cheated on me with. Okay, Giles has never done anything to me, but Spike has tried to kill me a few times. Wesley can be impartial because everyone in the "gang" basically railroaded him out of Sunnydale because he wasn?t Giles. Dennis has never met any of them and Angel is always fair. It?s disgusting. So you can sit your ass down and know that we will be impartial!"
"Not that that is settled," Whistler said with a chuckle, "let?s see who won."
Whistler walked to the judges table and takes the envelope. He quickly read the results and then turned to the contestants.
"It looks like we have a tie. Two voted each. That means you all must share and work together."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Across Sunnydale at the same time 10 people awoke muttering the same thing.
"I just had the strangest dream..."
=30=