Work Text:
NOTE: Crossover...with what? You'll see...
AUTHOR'S NOTE:Be prepared for EXTREME silliness...
And now:
Interruption
by Danii
Days later, Buffy and Xander would report that it was just a normal night of slaying. No one had read any prophecies that concerned the night, and no one had heard any word about any kind of attack occuring. It was, in fact, the reason why Buffy had decided to do that night what she had decided to do.
"Xander," she started as walked between the graves in the Greenwood Cemetery, "I've been thinking..."
"That's fair dangerous, ma'am..." Xander joked immediately, wondering just what she could be talking about. Of course, in the back of his mind, he was thinking that she was just about to proclaim her never ending love for him, but his sense told him that she was just fishing for boyfriend advice like always.
"Well, I keep on having these horrible relationships, and I got to thinking that of all the guys I've known since, like, forever, there's only been one who's never left me a-"
"Giles?" Xander asked, getting a horrible sinking sensation in his stomach. She couldn't be...she wouldn't...HE wouldn't, would he? Buffy couldn't be asking him to help her get with her WATCHER! It would solidify his theory that she'd go with anybody with a soul but him.
"Ick!" Buffy cried, obviously on the same mental page and not liking the picture, "No. I was talking about you, Xander..."
"Oh yeah..."
"Anyway," she continued, "I was thinking that, you know, since Anya left you-"
"Thanks for bringing it up..." Xander muttered.
"Sorry..." she said, "But anyway, I was wondering if you still-"
But she was interrupted suddenly by something so unbelievable, so incredible, so fantastically impossible that Sunnydale had never seen it's like, nor would it ever see anything even close to it again.
A pie flew straight at the Slayer's face, and hit her square in the nose, covering her with white cream.
"What the-"
Next, strange Western music with a sort of Broadway sound to it began to play in the area, though there was no speakers or anything around. Then, at that point, they saw...
It was the most gigantic fist fight either of them had ever witnessed. At least five hundred people were kicking and punching the living daylights out of each other, busting straight through the cemetery gates towards the couple.
But what was oddest of all were the fighters themselves. What a motley crew they were! People dressed up as cowboys, frontiersmen, Klu Klux Klan members (who had some sort of smily face on their backs), bikini-wearing models, Mexicans in ponchos (they were amazed to see the Mexicans...living in southern California like they do...), Nazis (though they weren't fighting so much as having an old German sing-along with a pretty blonde lady in a suit), and a large group of rather prissy-fighting men in top hats and dancing gear.
They raged and they kept on moving through the cemetery like an overgrown bar-room brawl while Buffy and Xander just stood and watched in mute confusion.
Then they saw yet another sight: that of a taxi driving past the cemetery being chased by a man on a golden-haired horse. The man, who was wearing cowboy gear as well, was hard to see in the darkness, but the large sheriff's badge reflected in the glow of the street lights.
Yet, not one to back down, Buffy tried to continue.
"Xander, I-"
"Look out!" the object of her speech cried, grabbing her and dropping to the floor just as two cowboys went sailing right over them. Almost immediately, Buffy dug herself out from under Xander and turned to face him.
"Xander, I-"
"You brute!" wimpered one of the dancers, beating on the chest of a cowboy, "You horrible, horrible brute!"
"Xander, I-"
"Vater Deutschland! Unser Haus, bis jetzt!" sang one of the Nazis loudly as they began to pass by.
And then, Buffy had had enough. She got to her feet.
"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!"
Immediately, the fight stopped (many times in mid-swing) and all eyes turned to the petite blonde. Then someone coughed.
"SHUT UP!"
Five hundred wide eyes looked at her as they nodded.
"Xander," she said far more gently, "Get up."
Xander, having heard her earlier and knowing she was at her limit for the night, quickly complied.
"Xander, I-" she started. Then she grabbed him and pulled him to her roughly. "Oh screw it..."
And then she kissed him as hard and as well as she could.
The two seperated as Xander's knees gave out for a moment, his face happily dazed.
"Xander, I love you..." she said finally with a grin.
"You get him, honey!" cried a heavily-accented female voice from the Germans.
Then Buffy realized that everyone was staring.
"You can continue..."
And immediately, the circus started again. Kicking, biting, and punching like a gigantic whirlwind. They were moving again, and after a few minutes, they were gone.
"Humfph..." Buffy said as she guided the still-dazed Xander back home, "What a buncha nuts. Glad they're gone. No more interruptions..."
"Cool..." replied Xander with a grin.
And up above them, a man and a half-dog in a Winnabego spaceship wondered if that little spot in the southern area of that landmass would be a good place to land.
The End
Don't ask what recreational substances I was using during this...unfortunately, I had none...
BTW, crossover was with "Blazing Saddles" and "Space Balls"