Work Text:
Of Hockey and Sex
By The Marcus
"Yeah!" William D. Tippin, ex-reporter and now Senior Analyst for CIA, screamed smiling and twirling his hockey stick like a baton. "Take this, Vaughn!"
"You ain't gonna able to keep up fighting like that for long." Michael Vaughn, senior Field Agent for CIA said, mock-angrily, "I'm gonna get ya good, mate."
"I'm looking forward to it, man!" Will answered, a gleam of lust sparkling in his crystal blue eyes as he put a hand in his pants to adjust his jockstrap. He and Michael had become lovers two months before, in an occasion in which the love each man never confessed to the other, blossomed and grew strong. "Hope I won't disappoint you." Was the other man's equally heated answer.
They fought with real intensity and great concentration, though sometimes one of the two could be heard screaming "You're sticking it in the wrong hole!", which was usually followed by laughter by the two of them; in short, a helluva lot of fun.
But after an entire afternoon of uninterrupted fight, both men were exausted. "We could end this fight, before one of us, or worse both, drop dead right here and end up on an all-new CSI." Said the Field Agent.
"I know a way to do just that." Was the Analyst's response.
"How?"
"Making love." Will answered.
"What? No way, at least, not here." The frenchman said.
"I was joking, man!" the blonde replied, leaning against a zamboni. "You mean, you've never heard of the joke?"
"What joke?" Mike said, his green eyes as big as a child's.
Will sighed at his partner's behaviour. "You'll never change. Anyway, it goes like this, I think: 'Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other woman, "that will certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!"'"
The two both laughed good-heartily at the joke.
"God, how I missed this." Said the man from Texas.
"Laughing?" Mike asked him.
Will shook his head. "No. Just... being. Being ourselves without any worry of being discovered and divided, or worse, murdered."
"Yeah, normal people have it all, and they don't know it." the frenchman said, " But the only dead thing here is this chicken." And while taking a bite of it, offered it to his lover, which accepted the frozen meat, taking a good bite of his own.
"How's it?" he asked after finishing eating. "Good." The blue-eyed Texan answered. "But I'd rather eat you..."
"Feeling the heat already, huh?" Mike shot back. "Let's get our shoes back and go home, where we'll feast as much as we want."
"Yeah," Will replied, "It's never good to make love with blades tied at your feet."
They sat down at one end of the hockey camp and changed into shoes.
They stole a kiss in the darkness, before going their separate ways, not to make any other agent think they knew each other.
They met in Will's flat, because it was the least likeable to be bugged, and felt the heat.
END
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(Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, eighty percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other woman, "that will certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!")
Challenge Rules:
Must be longer than a hundred words.
Must make reference to the joke.
All fandoms are welcome.
PWP's are acceptable.
Humor is preferred, but not necessary.
Must include at least three of the following:
Frozen Chicken.
Whipped Cream Topping.
Hockey Sticks.
A Jock Strap.
A Bottle of Wine.
A Cat in heat.
A Zambonie.
One of the characters saying, "You're sticking it in the wrong hole!"