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English
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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
Words:
1,272
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
7
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841

The Motorcycle Was Where

Summary:

none

Work Text:

The Motorcycle Was Where?

by

Otter

Blair looked at Jim as they rode up in the elevator to Major Crimes. They
had just gotten in from a five day camping trip. It had been like heaven.
They'd gotten a little fishing done - very little. Blair grinned to himself.
//We got just enough fishing done to feed ourselves. The rest of the time
was for us.// He winced as he moved the wrong way.

Jim smothered a grin as he saw Blair's wince. //I think we made love more
than anything else. And, we're both paying for it,// as he shifted
painfully. They smiled at each other. Then they straightened their faces as
the elevator door opened.

Blair bounced in with his usual energy, only to stop dead - staring at the
combined personnel in the bullpen. Joel - his arm in a sling, Rafe - his
foot in a cast, Henri - with one of the prettiest shiners he'd ever seen, and
Megan…Megan had a shiner, her arm in a sling, and was limping.

"What in the name of all that's holy in anyone's religion happened to
everyone?" Blair stared up at Jim, who was examining everyone closely.

"Don't talk to me!" Megan snapped. "You've been gone for five days, you
lucky bastards. You didn't have to deal with them."

"Deal with whom?"

"Those…those….escapees from a primate exhibit you Americans call Shriners!"

"The Shriners?" Jim repeated blankly.

Blair nodded knowingly. "I'll bet. I'm just grateful that we weren't in
town for it. I've been in a town when the Shriners were having a convention.
I've seen lunatic asylums that were quieter."

"That doesn't explain what happened to everyone," Jim said, staring at
everyone. "And, where's Simon? His office is empty."

"Oh…he's…umm…." Joel stared at the floor. "Umm…he's in the hospital in
traction."

"In traction," Jim exploded. "What the hell happened?"

"Well, he was underneath the Harley in the pool, and when it landed on him…"
Joel was upset.

"Underneath the Harley in the pool," Jim repeated numbly.

"Yeah."

"How did Simon get IN the pool in the first place?"

"He was trying to talk the guy with the big Harley down off the high dive
board." Megan stated primly.

Jim had started to reach for his coffee cup when she said that. He froze in
his tracks. "A Harley? On the high diving board?"

"Yep."

Jim looked at his coffee cup mournfully. "You know, I already know I'm going
to need a little more than just coffee to make it through this, and I can't
have it on duty."

Blair patted him on the shoulder. "Take heart, Jim. Remember, it's darkest
before the dawn."

Jim cuffed his lover lightly. "Idiot. So, he was trying to talk down the
guy on the high diving board. What then?"

"The guy shrugged, and the next thing I know Simon's going into the pool from
the board, followed by the Harley, and then the guy who's screaming about
Stella not leaving him. Turns out he had named the Harley."

"Well, what happened to you, Joel?" Blair asked anxiously.

"I had jumped in to help Simon out of the pool, and…" Joel shrugged
fatalistically, "the guy landed on me. Dislocated my shoulder and broke a
bone. He was bigger than I was."

Jim took a deep breath, and then let it out very slowly. "Okay. Rafe, what
happened to you?"

Rafe blushed. "He…ummphnm mmmpo mmmi my fooot," he mumbled.

"What?" Jim and Blair sounded in unison.

"I said that fu- …uh…ass-…oh, hell…the bastard rode his motorcycle over
my
foot when we were trying to get the Harley out the motel room. Broke it in
three places. And, if I ever see that idiot again, I'll break his stupid
neck!" Rafe threw himself unhappily into his chair, crossed his arms, and
began to pout.

"Which idiot was this?"

Everyone in the room looked everywhere except at Jim and Blair. Finally
Megan whispered, with a crooked smile, "The same idiot that was up on the
high diving board with the big Harley later that night. He had his
motorcycle up in his motel room. Needless to say, the motel management
wasn't thrilled with that state of affairs."

Jim sat down, and stared at his comrades in arms. "The same one?"

"Yep."

"Okay…." He turned to Henri. "Let me guess. He gave you the black eye?"

Henri shook his head. "Nope. His wife did. I wound up trying to handle a
domestic at the motel. She threw a punch at him because a naked cocktail
waitress came running through the dinner hall wearing the guy's fez. He
ducked. I was behind him. Got blindsided." He shrugged.

"How did they know it was THIS guy's fez?" Blair asked.

Megan snickered. "It seems his fez is a bit…what should I call it…unique?
His fez is the only one with an airplane propeller on top….the only one." She
snickered again.

Jim took another deep breath. He leaned back carefully, and fixed a stern
eye on Megan. "So what happened to you?"

"I was called in to try to keep the wife from braining the stupid jerk with
the ice sculpture from the middle of the punch bowl."

"The ice sculpture?"

"Yeah. A five foot long replica of a Harley 64 Electra Glide. Weighed in at
about 60 pounds of solid ice. And she was swinging it like it was her
purse." Megan winced as she moved the wrong way. "Not to mention what she
was trying to do to him before she grabbed the ice sculpture. She's the one
who gave me the bruised shoulder and arm, the black eye, and the extremely
sore foot."

Jim looked puzzled.

Megan blushed. "Part of the ice Harley landed on it."

The phone rang and Joel picked it up. "Major Crimes. Captain Taggart." He
listened for a moment, then, "Okay. I'll send a team down."

He looked over at all the pairs in the bullpen, and then turned to Jim and
Blair. "You two are in the best shape. We've got to transport Mr. and Mrs.
Blakemore to the airport. Since they've paid their fines, they're free to
go. Their plane leaves tonight."

"Mr. and Mrs. Blakemore?" Jim asked.

"Yes, a very nice couple. You've been selected to escort them to the
airport." Joel smiled blandly.

"Come on, Jim," Blair pulled on Jim's arm. "Let's get going." Jim and Blair
left the breakroom arguing about who was going to be driving, and what they
were going to escort the Blakemores to the airport in, since they had come in
in Jim's truck.

"Joel, that was mean. Are the Blakemores who I think they are?" Henri asked.

"Yeah," Taggart grinned evilly. "Our lovely couple from the Shriner's
Convention. One of the other Shriners' rode the Harley back to Georgia.
But, now, Jim and Blair have got to get the 'Battling Blakemores' safely to
the airport."

The other detectives in the group began to grin as well. This was going to
be interesting. Particularly when you considered how much of a trouble
magnet Blair was. They leaned back in their chairs to wait for further
developments.