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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
Words:
893
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
7
Hits:
975

How do you get that Lonely?

Summary:

One man takes the ultimate step to end his loneliness.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Disclaimer: JKR owns the "Harry Potter" fandom. Lyrics belong to Blaine Larsen and Inc. Song is "How do you get that Lonely?" off of Blaine's debut album, 'Off to Join the World.' Copyright infringement not intended. I am merely using the characters and lyrics for my own pleasures. Please don't sue. I have nothing to give.
Authoress Notes: This isn't beta-read. All mistakes are mine. Thanks to Dru for the support. She's my rock when everything sinks. This is just a fic that was in my head when I heard this song.
Written on: March 10, 2005
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[It was just another story written on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score
It said he was only eighteen, a boy about my age
They found him face down on the bedroom floor]

No one would ever know the reason he had taken his life. No one could understand why he had done it, why he had chosen this road instead of trying to live. No one would ever see the reason behind the tears, the pain, the cuts, the sneer, the scowl...no one would ever see the real reason that made him who he was. He knew. Only he knew and now, he was dead. He had taken the only way out he believed he had. Was he right? Only he would know. Others could judge him and pretend they knew the answers, but they never would. No one would ever see beyond his features. No one took enough time to look behind the eyes. If they did, they would have seen the struggle, the pain, the fear, and the despair...the pleading. If only they had looked deeper, then maybe, just maybe, he would have found grace.

[There'll be services on Friday at the Lawrence Funeral Home
Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone...]

His friends gathered around the grave as they laid his body to rest. A prayer was whispered for him, yet no one really believed he deserved peace in the other world. He deserved what he done, some would say. He would never admit to someone that he had secretly feared death. He feared it, yet at the same time, he welcomed it. Anything, to him, was better then living. He had wanted it for so long, yet no one gave much look to him or what he wanted. The perfect son. The perfect servant. The perfect boyfriend. The perfect friend. The perfect student. Just...perfect.

[How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know]

He hid his pain well. So well that no one believed him when he would scream. Or cry. Or shatter anything in his presence. Or take out his anger on those weaker then him just to prove a point. No one looked beneath the mask. No one cared. He had no one. He had no hopes, no dreams, and no belief in a future for himself or others. He had nothing, but fears of what was to come. Fear of being alone, of dying, of it all ending and beginning just mock him in any way it knew how. All he wanted was to be loved, but he always knew whatever he wanted, he would never have.

[Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?
Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?
Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say I love you son?
Did no one see the writing on the wall?

I'm not blamin' anybody, we all do the best we can
I know hindsight's 20/20, but I still don't understand...]

One man knew why it all ended up the way that it did. He had all the answers, yet he didn't have the right key. He had thought he had helped, yet he was foolish enough to believe when it was said all was right in the world. He should have looked closer. If he did, then maybe his love would still be alive. He doubted himself, his lover, and their relationship. It was he that had pushed the other to the breaking point. He knew how it all happened. He had been warned, yet, he took the chances and now, without anything, but regret, he stood alone.

[How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know]

He felt the rain pour down upon him as he looked at the tomb, ignoring the gravedigger as he filled the hole with dirt. His dark blue eyes were now empty and they no longer held anything inside. He had risked it all and he had lost. He took one final look then turned and left, his eyes forward and never looking back.

[It was just another story printed on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score...]

--------------------
The End.

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Mistress Vamp.
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