Work Text:
Fated
by Jujumaster
Disclaimer: is at the bottom of the page
In all the world there is one girl to stand between humanity and the vampires or demons. She alone will bear this burden or so it is written.
Fate has a strange way of fixing the problems of an imbalance. Just like nature abhorring a vacuum; one against the legions of darkness is an imbalance that must be resolved. So on that predestined Halloween night, Fate stepped in and used the witless fool, Ethan, to invoke the power of Chaos. Yes, even Chaos plays part of the grand scheme of Fate.
Three months later we bear witness to the orchestrations of Fate.
Xander was surrounded by 13 minions of the undead. Carefully studying page 125 of the book he held in his hand, he turned to his sidekick, a brown and beige striped cat, and said, "this will be perfect for this situation Spot. 'The Number Five Special'."
Vaulting off of a park bench, he soured through the air grasping hold of the streetlamp where he did a couple of aerial spins. When he released the bar he went immediately into a Front Pike Somersault, followed by a roundhouse kick. After executing a cartwheel, he performed a Sotouki followed by Junzuki no Tsukkomi .
So impressed were the vampires at his display, they failed to realize that his momentum was going to cause him to crash into the group toppling all of them. It was at that moment that Fate's hero sprang into action.
Spot rushed the grouped of downed vamps and dusted them in the issuing confusion.
When it was all said and done Xander stood up and said, "See Spot, there's no situation that can't be handled by consulting 'The Hong Kong Book of Kung Foo.' Now, to the Phooey Mobile."
Once in the Phooey Mobile, in it's Chinese Begoda incarnation, Spot took the wheel and started driving. Thinking back to the fateful moment Spot thought snidely, "good going Cordy. You just had to dress as a cat that night didn't you? Now every time he wants to play hero, you turn into a stupid brown and beige striped cartoon cat." Cordy would have continued to chastise herself but she saw Xander turn on the radio. "No Xander, not again."
"Every good hero needs a theme song," he said as the music started to play.
Hong Kong Phooey, number one super guy.
Hong Kong Phooey, quicker than the human eye.
He's got style, a groovy style, and a car that just won't stop.
When the going gets rough, he's super tough, with a Hong Kong Phooey chop, Hyah!
Hong Kong Phooey, number one super guy
Hong Kong Phooey, quicker than the human eye
Hong Kong Phooey - fannn-riffic!
end
Disclaimer: Hong Kong Phooey is owned by Hanna Barbera. BTVS by Mutant Enemy. Only Cordelia Chase was harmed during the production of this fic.
Info on the Karate moves performed can be found at http://personal.nbnet.nb.ca/wadokai/
Info on the gymnastic moves can be found at http://library.thinkquest.org/4209/movesand.htm
Info on Hong Kong Phooey can be found at http://www.dfcom.freeserve.co.uk/hbw/hongkong/index.htm
This has been bouncing around in my head the past few months and it knocked something loose I think. I go into the shop on Monday.