Work Text:
The Incident
by Discord26
The loft was dark when Jim Ellison arrived home. He entered the apartment wondering where his roommate was. "Chief, are you home?" He called out into the darkness. There was no reply. "He's probably at the university." As he turned on the lights in the living room he caught sight of a red flashing light on the answering machine.
Jim began replaying the messages as he walked into the kitchen. The first few messages were from telemarketers. Those he happily erased. Then there was a call from the crime lab telling him that the results from the Duncan case would be ready in the morning. The last call was Sandburg. "Hey Jim, I'm going to be kind of late. Something came up.. I'll try not to wake you. See you tomorrow."
The message ended.
Jim reviewed the message a couple of times. There was a strange restrained quality in Blair's message. As he listened closer he heard a mesh of noises and the dim sound of an announcement over a PA system. Jim opened his hearing up to the background noise. It was vaguely familiar. Then he had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The noises were familiar because they were hospital noises. He could pick up the occasional paging of a doctor and the muttering of medical jargon. "Sandburg what the hell are you doing at the hospital?" He muttered worriedly.
He grabbed the phone and called Cascade General. After being told that there was no information available Jim hung up. He tried Blair's cell phone with little luck. He knew the kid would be back to the loft eventually so he waited.
Jim had dozed off while waiting for Blair to show up. He was jolted from sleep when he heard someone walking slowly toward the loft door. He turned the living room light off and waited somewhat impatiently in the dark. He heard the thud of a bag and the fumbling of keys outside the door. Slowly the doorknob turned and Blair shuffled through the door.
"Chief," Jim called from the couch with his hand ready to turn the light on.
"Jim, don't turn on the lights," came the tired voice.
"All right but what's going on? I know you were at the hospital. What happened?" Jim asked sure that Blair was all right but angry that he was made to worry.
"Relax Big Guy, It's nothing. I'll be fine but don't turn on the lights." Blair added with a catch in his voice.
"What's going on? You're starting to worry me and it's pissing me off."
"Okay, Sheesh, chill man. Let me just say that this has been a really bad day." Blair sat down a, slight moan escaping his lips.
"Sandburg, I'm growing old. So spill," Jim said folding his hands across his chest.
"I'll get to the gist of what's wrong but it requires a little back-story. Listen because I'm in no mood for the eye roll of doom."
"Look at me sitting patiently waiting.... So get on with it." Jim's voice rose.
Blair paused for a moment. "You know how I've been kind of depressed because of all the gloomy, rainy weather. I had that whole "damp, drizzly November in my soul" vibe going on for the past few weeks."
"Look Ishmael before you put out to sea can you just cut to the chase. I've had a long day too," Jim said pointedly.
"Give me a break, man, exposition can be a bitch. Anyway, I was in my office just sitting around reading my mail when I came across this flyer. It was an answer to my prayers in a non-traditional sort of way of course."
"What was in this flyer...in my lifetime?"
"It was a trial session at this tanning salon. I know it's totally not natural but I'm like the whitest guy to walk the earth right now. So, I had a couple of hours free. I know big surprise. Well I went over there. It seemed really nice: clean, friendly. Oh and I met this really attractive woman. Her name was Amber or was it Bambi. She got me set up in one of the tanning beds and that's when the trouble began," Blair said grimly.
"What kind of trouble?"
"Man, I've been so busy getting ready for finals that I've been kind of revved up, even for me. I haven't slept through the night for weeks. Well I lay down and I was gone, man, totally out for the count. It couldn't have been long because Bambi/Amber came back to help me out. She got kind of upset when she lifted the lid."
"So."
"She kept saying how sorry she was for not coming back sooner. The woman was cringing. What is that? Have you ever known a woman to cringe in my presence?"
"No Chief I can't say I have."
"At first I felt fine, a little stiff and really warm. Then I went to get dressed and my world came crashing in."
"Aren't you being a little dramatic? Jim asked as he shifted on the couch.
"Turn on the lights Jim."
Jim reached over and turned on the light and just stared for a moment. Then he broke out in uncontrolled laughter.
"Jim, it's not that funny. I'm in pain here," Blair whined.
"Chief." Jim laughed, "That shade of scarlet sure does bring out your eyes."
"Very funny. I knew you'd be like this. If I had gotten shot or drugged or kidnapped it would have been "Oh Chief I have to protect you." I get one near third degree burn and the quips fly. I'm hurt."
Jim continued to laugh as he tried to get up from the couch. He walked over to the angry young man. Blair glared at Jim and tried to stand resulting in a hiss of pain. Jim stopped laughing and held out his hand to Blair." Here let me help you."
"No man, I can do it myself. This is just a joke to you, isn't it? I'm going to bed so I'll be out of your hair. Not that it will take much effort. Things are pretty sparse up there." Blair quipped.
"Ha, ha, Sandburg. Got me back, now we're even. Did the hospital give you anything to put on the burn? He ask as he maneuvered the young man in the direction of his bedroom.
"Oh they sure did. All I can say is dial those senses down, Big Guy. The stuff puts the concept of "to reek" on a whole new level."
"I'll dial them down. Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll get you some tea. You should get some rest because you are going to be a little worse for wear in the morning." Jim said solicitously.
"No" Blair cried.
"What's wrong?" Jim asked startled by the young man's outburst.
"I can't teach my class or go out in public for that matter. I'm gonna stink and would you look at this burn. I'm matching my favorite flannel shirt here."
Jim turned away to stifle a laugh. "I have an idea. Why not work it into the curriculum."
Blair looked at Jim with an annoyed glare. "And how do you propose I do that?"
"Just get some rest. I'll work it out."
**The Next Day**
It was a slightly overcast day as Lecture Hall 401 began to fill up. The students were anxious to get the last of their classes finished before their reading period for Finals began. The clock on the wall moved slowly as they waited for their Professor to arrive.
In the back of the auditorium there was a flutter of excitement. The lights began to dim and there was the muted sound of drums. A voice rose from the darkness. "Good afternoon, today's lecture will be on Tribes of the Rain Forest." The lights slowly came up. On stage was a figure dressed in full Indian regalia, his deep red skin accented in white paint. "I am dressed as a Tribal Shaman. As you can see the symbols painted on my body are ancient and known only to a few outsiders. The paint is a blend of sacred herbs whose smell is used to ward off evil spirits;" Blair began, as his class stood entranced.
In the back of the hall Jim smirked as he held a spotlight on his friend. "I wonder if Simon is going to buy this?"
The End