SquidgeWorld Archive

All the members of the team were gathered together in Abby's lab awaiting Gibbs arrival. It was the day before Mother's Day.

Kate and Tone were bickering as usual. Kate was bickering about Mother's Day and not being able to get home to see her mother. McGee was quietly assisting Abby, their conversation too low to hear, on some unknown project and Ducky was roaming aimlessly around, not paying any attention to the chatter around him.

Kate turned away from her sniping to seek out the elder medical examiner and to ask, "So, Ducky, what are you getting your mother for Mother's Day?"

Ducky, showing an exorbitant interest in one of Abby's toys, replied absently, "Oh, I don't know. She probably won't even remember that tomorrow is Mother's Day."

Sneaking up behind the elder man, trying to see what he found so interesting, Tony spoke up, "Oh, I don't know. She's just demented enough that she probably will."

Abby looked up from her work and raised an eyebrow. She had not had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Mallard.

Kate spoke up in defense of Ducky's mother. "She's a nice little old lady."

Tony, who had had the pleasure, glared at Kate and reminded her, "Nice, huh. She's a very strange woman. She keeps a knife in her bra."

Abby giggled, wondering how Tony came by that piece of information, "Really."

Just then Gibbs ambled into the room, his usual cup of coffee in his hand, "Come on, folks. Fun times over. We have a case to work here. Abby, what have you got for us?"

***

The next day after working through the night, the case had been successfully concluded giving Ducky a chance to return home. Kate's question had stuck in his mind, so he had stopped on the way home and bought his mother a little something he thought she might like. Opening the front door he called out, "Mother, I'm home. Happy Mother's Day."

Mrs. Mallard, followed by her pet corgis, wandered into the foyer from the sitting room. Her eyes immediately focused on the box in her son's hands. Plucking the box out of Ducky's hand, she opened it, surveyed the contents and selected a piece. The piece of chocolate fairly melted in her mouth, and with a look of ecstasy she enthused, "Godiva's! My favorites! I do dearly love chocolates.

Taking off his hat and coat, Ducky looked at her fondly. "Yes, mother, I know. I'll go start supper." He pressed a peck on her cheek before heading for the kitchen. He had only taken two steps when a knock at door sounded. Wondering who it could be, he turned back toward the door. His mother had, however, beaten him to it and the door was already open.

Standing on the front porch were the grinning members of the N.C.I.S. team, each carrying a covered dish. Tony was the first to speak, "Hi, Mrs. Mallard."

Mrs. Mallard looked at him with puzzlement. "Who are you?"

Tony was a bit taken aback. He let out a sigh of resignation. "Don't you remember? The gigolo furniture mover?. You do remember Kate, don't you?"

Ducky moved up behind his mother. "What are you all doing here?" he asked, surprised.

Kate pushed herself forward to explain, "We thought we would bring some of our mother's favorite dishes and celebrate with you and your mother."

Mrs. Mallard turned to her son. "Have I eaten yet, Donald?"

Ducky, distracted by the question, shook his head. "No, mother, you haven't."

Tony decided to introduce the rest of the group. "Mrs. Mallard, this is Abby Sciuto and Tim McGee. They work with your son, too."

Mrs. Mallard focused on Abby, who had stooped down to pet one of the dogs. "Let's see your knickers."

At the look of puzzlement on Abby's face, Tony translated Mrs. Mallards' comment. "Umm, Mrs. Mallard thinks you can tell what type of girl you are from your underwear. Careful that's Tyson, he bites," he warned her, just as the little dog decided to take a nip at Abby's hand.

Deciding that the conversation needed a change of direction, Ducky drew Mrs. Mallards' attention to yet another member of the group. His assistant. "Mother, this is Jimmy Palmer. He works with me."

Jimmy Palmer held out his hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Mallard."

Mrs. Mallard looked at him with suspicion. "Odd, you don't look black."

Ducky choked. "That was Gerald, Mother. He's still in therapy, remember?"

Laughter broke out as Palmer fell to the floor, having been attached by four corgis. Just then the door bell rang.

Mrs. Mallard open the door to find Gibbs standing there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. "Hello, Mrs. Mallard."

Mrs. Mallards face lit up, "L.J.! How nice to see you, dear."

Tony and Kate turned to each other and mouthed, "L.J.?"

Mrs. Mallard looked past Gibbs, her expression one of disapproval. "You didn't bring `her' with you I hope?"

Ducky's eyes went up to the ceiling. "Mother, I told you. Jethro divorced her," he patiently reminded her.

Mrs. Mallard looked pleased. "Good. I never did like her. You need someone special. You there...come here," she called over to where the rest of the group were standing.

Everyone turned to see who Mrs. Mallard was talking to. Kate pointed to herself. "Who me?" she asked in surprised.

Impatiently, Mrs. Mallard waved her question aside. "No not you. You." Mrs. Mallard moved over to Tony and took his arm. "Come here," she commanded.

Tony went along, puzzled. There was no arguing with Mrs. Mallard who placed Tony's hand into Gibbs.

"There that's better." Mrs. Mallard said triumphantly, patting the two hands. Then turning to the rest of the gathering, she herded them towards the dining room. "Come on, everyone, let us eat," she said, ignoring the shocked look of the rest of the N.C.I.S. team and the equally shocked comment of her son, "Mother!"

Tony and Gibbs looked down at their clasped hands. Tony's face held devilish grin, Gibbs' a half smirk.

You didn't argue with Mrs. Mallard.