SquidgeWorld Archive

Okay, I admit it - it's a sick hobby. But, it's the only one I have. You see, I like to follow Mulder. He's just so damned amusing. You never know what he'll get into next.

This time though ... well, even I was shocked. Oh shut up, you. I *was* shocked. I suspected we might be in for a fun evening when he appeared dressed in tight black jeans and a leather jacket, looking hotter than hell. When he walked into the Wolf, which just happens to be a gay bar in downtown DC, I smiled in triumph. Watching Mulder on the prowl is more fun than I can even begin to describe.

I gave him a couple of minutes to get away from the door and followed him in. He was easy to spot, standing by the bar, scanning the crowd. Then, he seemed to recognize someone and smiled widely. I followed his line of sight and just about dropped my teeth.

It was me. Well, it was a man who bore an uncomfortable resemblance to me. Except for the fact that he had two arms and was maybe a year or two younger, he could easily have been my twin.

Damn. I scowled as I watched the stranger rush over to meet Mulder with an embrace and a very hot kiss.

"Pretty, aren't they?" A husky voice whispered in my ear.

I turned quickly, automatically reaching for my gun and then froze in shock. My jaw dropped. Literally. The whisperer was another copy of me.

What the fuck?

For a moment I thought I'd said that aloud. But then I heard it again.

"What the fuck?"

The whisperer and I turned to see a very confused young man staring at us in stunned amazement.

"Vic?" He asked, looking back and forth between us.

The whisperer smiled and shook his head. "Sorry, kid. I'm Cory."

The kid turned his big brown eyes on me and frowned. "You're not Vic."

"Nope. I'm Alex."

"Oh." He looked adorable, actually. A slight frown folded his forehead and his full lips pouted enticingly. "Are you his brothers, maybe?"

We both shook our heads and pointed at the man with Mulder. "Is that your Vic?" Cory asked.

Brown eyes widened as he saw Mulder's companion. "Jesus," he moaned. "I can't believe this. Three of you... I must be dreaming. Or hallucinating."

"Raines!" An angry voice interrupted our little group.

The whisperer gulped and looked at me in mute appeal. I grinned and moved to stand at his side. A large hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. 'Cory' turned with me and we couldn't help but smile at the reaction we garnered from the newcomer.

"Shit!" A large and rather attractive man stood before us, his face wearing what was quickly becoming the typical shocked expression our appearance seemed to bring about. I raised my eyebrows at him and smiled widely. He glared at me in accusation. "Raines, what the hell-"

"Get your hand off of me," I growled in warning. Hell, the guy was okay to look at, a little too pretty for my taste maybe - though his long hair was awfully attractive. But, he had his hand on my left shoulder. I don't care how pretty he was - I did not - still don't - like anyone to touch me there.

He slowly released me and turned toward the whisperer. "Raines?" He asked tentatively.

"Mac?"

Jesus, now what? We all turned to see just who was joining our happy little group this time.

"Yeah?" Responded both the pretty one with the ponytail and the young one with brown eyes.

Naturally enough, the newcomer was Mulder's friend ... and, right behind him... You guessed it, Mulder.

"Krycek!" Mulder started for Cory then saw me and stopped in confusion. He glanced down at our hands. Luckily, both of us were wearing gloves. Mulder growled in frustrated anger and glared at both of us.

"Take it easy, Fox."

//Fox?//

Well, shit. It seemed that Mulder and his friend were rather closer than I had imagined. I couldn't remember ever hearing anyone call him Fox.

"But," Mulder protested, "one of these guys is Krycek, Vic."

Ah ha ... the mysterious Vic revealed.

"Vic," said brown eyes, "what's going on here. Who are these guys?"

Vic shrugged. "I dunno, Mac." He turned to Mulder. "Fox, this is my partner, Mac Ramsey. Mac, this is Fox Mulder."

"Fox?" Repeated Mac with a smirk.

I was beginning to like this kid.

Mr. Ponytail stepped forward. "I'm Duncan MacLeod," he said, offering his hand to first Mulder then Vic then Mac.

Eventually, everyone had been introduced except Cory and me. We maintained our watchful silence, still standing close together.

"Mac!"

We all groaned as yet another man joined us. MacLeod and Ramsey turned together to greet the newcomer. "Yeah?" They asked.

Oh my. Well, things were looking up! This one was gorgeous. Tall, slim, black hair, dark eyes, mid-thirties maybe. I even liked his nose - it was a little on the large side but regal, you know? Hmmm. I stood a little straighter, watching him as MacLeod introduced him as Adam Pierson to the group. He nodded pleasantly at everyone then turned to look at Cory and me.

"And these two gentlemen?" He asked politely.

MacLeod and Mulder snorted. Bastards.

"Well, we think one's Raines," MacLeod said doubtfully. "The other-"

"Is Krycek," Mulder spat out.

"Ah," Adam grinned at us. "And they're not telling, right?"

I eyed him closely and got the distinct impression that he knew exactly which of us was which. He winked at me and turned to MacLeod. "So, what? You're just going to call them pal or buddy or something generic?"

"There's an easy way to identify Krycek," Mulder said triumphantly.

"Oh?" Everyone turned to look at us. "How?"

"His left arm is fake."

Cory shifted a bit closer on my right side and Adam moved to my left. Mulder moved forward and all three of us backed up a step.

"Vic?" Asked Mac-with-the-pouty-lips. "What the hell is going on?"

Vic shrugged. "Not a clue, Mac."

MacLeod looked at Adam. "Me... Um, Adam, can you tell which one is Raines?"

Oh ho. So, tall, dark and slim had a secret too. I raised my brows at him and he grinned. "Sorry, Mac."

"But-" MacLeod started to protest. "Surely you can... " He shrugged, "You know."

"Surely I can *what*, Duncan?" Adam frowned at him repressively.

MacLeod mumbled something under his breath and subsided.

"Are you two together?" I murmured into Adam's ear.

He laughed. Loudly. "Not in a million years."

Ponytail glared. "What?"

"Nothing, Mac," Adam answered. "Nothing that concerns you, anyway."

Mulder took another step forward and Adam and Vic moved too. Adam ended up between Mulder and me and Cory while Vic grabbed Mulder's arm.

"Not now," Vic said urgently. "Not here."

"Fine," Mulder said. "Let's go."

"What the fuck is *this*?" An angry voice cut in.

Another collective groan from the group.

Mulder stared at the newcomer in horror. "Sir?" He squeaked. "What are *you* doing here?"

I had to bite down painfully hard on my lip to control the laughter that threatened to escape me. Skinner! It was Skinner. I lowered my eyes and fought to keep my breathing even. Adam must have noticed my sudden tension, because he shifted his weight back until his back was pressed up against me.

Oh yeah.

After yet another round of introductions, Skinner turned his attention to Cory and me. "So," he looked us over. "One is Krycek, you think." He met my eyes and I could see that he knew exactly who I was.

Uh oh. This could scotch the deal rather quickly.

"Yes, I'm sure of it." Good old Mulder. I wanted to smack that self-satisfied grin right off of his face.

"Hmmm," Skinner made a motion to Adam and I frowned. "Well, Agent Mulder, how do you propose we identify the real Krycek?"

"His arm, sir."

"Ah." Skinner nodded gravely. "I see. And just exactly how do you propose to check that, Mulder?"

Mulder cleared his throat, looking at Cory and Adam appraisingly. "Well, sir. If you grab one and Vic grabs the other, I'll check their arms."

"I don't think so," Vic protested.

Smart man, that Vic.

"I'll help," MacLeod offered with a wolfish grin.

"Fucking Scottish boyscout," Adam sneered. "Even you might be out of your depth here, MacLeod."

Skinner grinned at Adam. And winked at him. My mouth almost dropped open, let me tell you. "Mulder, I don't really care if one of them is Krycek, but if you insist on investigating, be my guest."

"But he-" Mulder started to protest.

"Mr. Mulder ... or, should I call you Fox?" Adam said with grave innocence.

Mulder flinched.

I grinned and moved against Adam's back. //Do it!// I urged him silently.

One of his hands moved slowly behind him and long fingers wrapped themselves around my belt.

Oh yeah. I grinned happily and waited. One quick look in Skinner's direction revealed that he too was expecting great things from Adam.

"So, anyway, Fox, what is the problem with this Krycek person? I mean, if you make a habit of threatening to assault strangers in order to identify him, he must be a blackguard of the highest order."

Now, you might think this a rather ponderous speech, and under ordinary circumstances I'd probably agree with you - But Adam pulled it off with ease. That sharp upper crust British accent was what made it possible, I think. 'Course, the hand at my belt distracted me a bit, so I might not be the best one to give an impartial impression of his speech patterns.

"I wasn't going to assault anyone," Mulder sounded aggrieved at the accusation. "I just want to touch their left arms."

"Did you know that in the ancient cultures of North America, such a touch would have been considered an invitation to death?" Adam asked with perfect seriousness. "The Anasazi in particular had an absolute horror of being touched on the left side by a stranger."

"What?" Mulder's eyebrows migrated upwards. "No one knows enough about the Anasazi to make a call like that."

"Oh?" Adam was oh so disdainful of Mulder's comment. "An expert on ancient southwestern tribal cultures, eh, Fox?"

"No," Mulder snapped, "I'm not. But any idiot knows-"

"Any idiot, indeed." Apparently considering the topic closed, Adam moved on. "Considering the current ah... *correctness* of the political climate in this country, I should think that even an FBI agent would think twice before laying hands on protesting strangers in gay bars with their bosses looking on."

"How did you know I was a -"

"You'd be quite surprised at what I know, Fox."

Skinner had turned so that Mulder couldn't see his face. So, I had the pleasure of watching the look of unholy glee on Skinner's face as he listened to Adam and Mulder go at it.

"*Don't* call me that!"

"Fox? Isn't that your name, then? I could have sworn I heard that Fox was your name. Dear me, do let me offer my sincerest apologies for making such a mistake." Adam's voice oozed insincerity.

Skinner grinned wickedly. "No, Adam, Fox is his name. He just doesn't care much for it."

"He doesn't?" Adam shook his head. "Oh dear, Fox. But, it's such an *interesting* name. Many myths surround the fox, did you know that? Unfortunately, the fox still carries a reputation Aesop depicted over 2600 years ago; clever, cunning, but always the villain. And then, there are the legends of the Werefox. Whereas the werewolf is known throughout the world, the werefox is basically and Eastern belief. However, unlike the common were-tale, which tells of some cursed person of witch turning into a creature, a werefox is exactly the opposite: the fox turns in a human! I find that quite fascinating, don't you?"

Mulder's eyes had widened in horror as Adam expounded on the mythos of the fox. I was having an increasingly difficult time controlling my amusement at seeing Adam turn Mulder's own game on him so effectively. From all appearances, Skinner was having the same problem. His eyes were positively twinkling with suppressed hilarity.

"Of course," Adam continued, "The most popular human shape is the female variety: the fox will take the form of a beautiful woman to entice a human male. It is said that no human female is as seductive as the werefox. It's believed that foxes live to be eight hundred years old. Once they his five hundred they can begin taking the human form. Fifty to one thousand years are also popular ages for the fox to begin transformation."

By this time, Skinner was studying the floor with every appearance of fascination.

"And," Adam drew a deep breath, apparently intending to continue in the same vein at some length.

"Stop!" MacLeod, Mulder and Mac-with-the-pouty-lips all exclaimed rather desperately.

Skinner coughed to hide the laughter that he apparently could no longer hold back, and Cory was breathing with studied care. I'm not sure, but I suspect he was biting the inside of his cheek just as I was in an attempt to control his amusement. Vic had turned his head away, to hide his own smile, I guessed.

Young and pretty Mac was hiding behind Mac-with-the-ponytail. He peered over the larger man's shoulder when Adam subsided. Such an expression of relief came over his face that I just couldn't hold back my own smile. He really was a cute young thing.

"That's him," Mulder announced, pointing at Cory.

"Oh?" Skinner looked at Cory dubiously. "How can you tell?"

"Because he," the finger moved to point at me, "is smiling. Krycek *never* smiles."

Cory immediately directed a sunny smile at Mulder.

Mulder growled.

I laughed. Huge mistake. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I finally hid my face in Adam's shoulder in a vain attempt to control myself. I might even have been successful, if only Skinner hadn't chosen that moment to lose it.

Skinner has a great laugh, by the way. Infectious even. Pretty soon, everyone - except Mulder, of course - was chuckling.

When I dared look up again, Mulder was pouting. That set me off again and I leaned against Adam's back, laughing helplessly. Even Vic, I saw, had a grin lurking at the corners of his mouth.

Mulder turned and started away in a high dudgeon. He stopped and turned back to glare at everyone. "Krycek," he said warningly, "I will get you one of these days. You can't stay permanently attached to your twin forever, you know." With that, he marched away, dragging the still smiling Vic along with him.

Skinner snorted. "Well, old man," he said to Adam. "I see you haven't lost your touch."

Adam shrugged.

"I suppose you just had to do that, didn't you, Adam?" MacLeod asked.

"I didn't like him," Adam said simply. He looked around. "I need a drink."

"Come on," Skinner offered, "I owe you one. That was priceless. I seldom see him outdone in the smartass department."

Young Mac stepped away from MacLeod. "Um, I'm gonna head back to my hotel room," he said. "Do you suppose the bartender would be willing to call me a cab?"

MacLeod turned to look at him. "I'm heading out of here myself. I'll drop you off, if you'd like."

Brown eyes smiled. "That'd be great, man. Thanks."

"Well, guys," MacLeod looked at the group. "I'd say it's been nice meeting everyone, but that wouldn't exactly be the truth. Raines - whichever of you is Raines - I'll be looking for you."

Cory and I exchanged an amused look. "So long, Mac," we said in concert.

Ponytail grimaced and turned to leave, followed closely by brown eyes. He paused and turned to look at Adam. "I'll uh... see you later."

Adam waved him away negligently. "Yeah, Mac ... later."

I stepped away from Adam. "I guess I'd better make tracks before Mulder rethinks the situation and comes back with a gun in hand."

Skinner shrugged. "Hell, Krycek. He'll be busy pouting for hours yet."

Adam reached out and grabbed my belt again. "Come on, man. Join us for a drink." He looked at Cory. "You too, Raines."

I paused, looked at the hand at my waist, and nodded. "Okay," I agreed. "But, Skinner's buying."

We found a table and Skinner walked over to the bar with our drink order.