SquidgeWorld Archive

John walks down to the lowest level of the city. He finds the door that he and Aiden had found in one of their explorations around the city. He steps outside and walks to the edge of the narrow walkway. He sits down, his boots brushing against the dark water below.

John looks around. The planet feels almost dead in the middle of the night. There aren't any of the sounds that were familiar on earth, no birds, no ocean waves against sand. In fact there is absolute stillness enveloped in total silence. He admits that someone might find this beautiful. The bright moon high in the sky looks over its twin shining on the glistening surface of the Atlantis ocean. It's beautiful, too beautiful for John to feel real or alive.

He remembers another night when the water and the air vibrated with energy, a night when he forgot about the uniform he wore and the rules the military imposed, a night when he enjoyed each moment.

It was a night not unlike this one. John was wondering through the city, unable to sleep, when he walked outside, looking from some fresh air, but found something different, something unexpected.

He heard noises from the water, and reached the edge. Aiden was swimming, unaware of John's presence, cutting the water with his lean body, doing laps in the dark water. Finally, he swam toward the city. His hands barely touched the edge, when he looked up.

"Oh, hello, Sir. I didn't know you were here."

"I can see that." John moved back, giving Aiden the room he needed to push himself out of the water.

The lieutenant walked naked, completely unashamed, droplets of water slid down his firm body, some imprisoned in the dark curls on Aiden's chest. John mentally slapped himself. He shouldn't be noticing these things, not when it was a naked man, his subordinate, and yet he couldn't take his eyes off.

John breathed a sigh of relief when Aiden reached for a towel pooled on the floor, obviously this wasn't a spur of the moment for Aiden. However John's relief was short-lived. Instead of covering himself, Aiden dried his hair, before patting down his body.

"You do this often?" John asked, trying to feign indifference. After all, it always happened around locker rooms: naked men walking around. It was normal, John kept telling himself.

Aiden shrugged as he finally tied the towel around his waist. "Water is warm, and it's great exercise."

"Don't you think we get plenty of exercise?" John said with a smirk, but his 2IC looked at him without any trace of humor. "You think we don't do enough," he repeated incredulous.

"I... Well, you are in the Air Force, and we... you know we got up at 4am to train, Sir. Training has been...somewhat less strenuous that we're used to, that's all." Aiden smiled as he bent to reach for his uniform. "Don't worry about it, Sir. I train when we aren't on mission."

"You train, at night, naked, in the water," John said suspiciously.

Aiden laughed. "No, Sir, this is more...it's relaxation. I train with Bates and the enlisted men, Sir: four-mile run, push-ups, airborn sit-ups, weights, the usual. We even have set up rappelling and climbing exercises in the puddle room. We have to limit target practice because of the ammo limitation"

"Why didn't I know anything about this?"

Aiden smiled again. "Sir, do you really want to train with a bunch of Marines?" He reached for his black t-shirt and pulled it over his head. "But if you're interested...You can pretty much tell us what to do. You know, perks of being in charge."

John watched as the towel slipped on the ground. Aiden pulled up his standard white brief, and yes, Marines had regulations about the color of their underwear John had learned, except he wasn't interested in regulations of any type. And he should stop looking at Aiden's crotch at any moment, he really should, because that was not accepted behavior in any locker room he had been. "I..." He cleared his throat, as he finally raised his eyes, and met the frown on Aiden's face. "Is there a problem?"

"No, Sir," came the immediate reply from the good Marine. "It's just..." Aiden finally pulled up his pants, and John thanked all the gods for that. "Maybe I should ask you if anything is wrong...You're staring, Sir."

"Everything is fine." He didn't sound fine, and from the heat he was feeling, he could bet that he didn't look fine, but Aiden was still a subordinate, and a Marine to boot, and he answered as expected. "In that case, if you'll excuse me..."

Right, a Marine would wait for his CO to dismiss him. "Right, yes, you might go."

"Aye, aye, Sir, and good night." Aiden gave him another smile, and John couldn't help answer with one of his own. "Goodnight, Ford."

After this night, John developed a new routine. Before retiring for his quarters, he wondered around the city, but always ended up at the same spot. He stood by the door, watching from afar as Aiden swam. He would go in before his 2IC came out of the water.

Eventually, John found a balcony that gave him the perfect view. He would sit and watch as Ford came out of the water in those bright nights, as the moon shone over the ebony body, emphasizing his firm muscles. God, John was becoming a true stalker, because for the life of him, he couldn't stop.

Slowly, he began to catch things during the day: a smile to Teyla, a helping hand to a scientist, or even the occasional screaming at one of the Marines. It wasn't long before John found out about the training exercise and watched those as well.

It was official. John Sheppard had become obsessed. He was spending all of his free time watching his 2IC. If anyone had asked him why, John would have not been able to answer. He had been attracted to the occasional guy in his youth, but that was years ago, long before the Air Force. Since then, he hadn't really looked at guys that way. It was just easier. After all, he didn't need to give his superiors an excuse to kick him out of the Air Force.

But now things were different. There were no superiors to tell him what to do. So he sat and watched, training himself not to let his attraction show when he was around Aiden, keeping the same banter they usually had on mission, making sure that the man never named a single thing. He was doing a great job at hiding.

Or at least so he thought, until one night he was proven wrong. He had gone to 'his' balcony how he used to do, and looked below.
However there was no sign of Aiden: no clothes, no towels, and unfortunately no naked Aiden.

"Looking for me, Sir?"

John froze for a moment, before turning around. "Ford, I was just...walking around."

Ford nodded, and John thought that it would be over. After all, Marines are trained to listen to their superiors, right?

"Like you've been walking around every night that we're not on a mission or on duty," answered Aiden calmly. "Is there something...something that you'd like to tell me?"

John thought for a moment. He could lie, even badly, and Aiden would have no choice but to accept it, but he was the person in charge here. There was no one to impose regulations. Yes, he could do it. "Let's say...hypothetically speaking, of course."

"Of course, Sir."

The little smile on Aiden gave John some hope, and he smiled back. "Right, hypothetically, I might enjoy watching you."

"Watching me, Sir? That's quite unexpected, given your position, hypothetically speaking, of course."

John shook his head. "Can we stop with all the 'Sirs'? Just for a few moments. Creeps me out." He leaned back against the railing, and stared at Aiden. "Look, I didn't know you were aware-"

"Sir... I mean... You know, I really mean 'Sir', I'm a trained Marine, and those doors make a ruckus. Did you really think that I wouldn't notice?" Aiden asked with a frown.

"I didn't think about that," John said tentatively, knowing how stupid it sounded. "All right, so I should have known, but I had no intention to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't... make me uncomfortable, that is." Aiden took a step forward, eyes fixed on John's. Then another little step, and another, until they were painfully close, and yet still not touching. "Even if I found you attractive, hypothetically speaking, there isn't much we can do about it, is there?"

John raised a hand, and tentatively his fingers closed around Aiden's arm, happy when the lieutenant didn't step back. "Why is that?"

Aiden sighed. "God, Sir, I can't believe you're even considering it. You are in charge here; you understand that, right? People need to look up to you. What happens when people find out? Because you know that in this place they will find out. And don't even talk about Dr. Weir, or all the other nerds around here. You need *your* men to look up to you, and they won't if they know you're sleeping with your 2IC and a man to boot. Let's not even mention how many regulations we'd be violating..."

John shook his head. He didn't want to hear this. He had thought about it, not that he had ever thought that Aiden would be interested, but in his mind, he had dismissed all of those objections, and now he had to convince Aiden. "No one will find out, and there is no one to enforce regulations. As you said, I'm in charge."

Aiden chuckled. "Sumner said that you were trouble." He covered John's hand with his own. "I don't know if this is just physical or if it could be more, but regardless, I can't let you do it, and I can't do it. It's so hard to watch you take unnecessary risks without saying anything, but I know it's your call. I don't know if I could do the same if we got involved..."

"Aren't you moving a little too fast?" John asked with a grin. "I mean, I haven't asked you to move in yet."

Aiden didn't smile, instead continued to stare with an intensity that made John burn inside. "Then it's doubly stupid to risk our careers for a fuck, and I think I should go now."

"Of course." John released his grip, but instead of stepping back, he slid his fingers over Aiden's jaw, feeling the stubble of beard under his fingertips. "If you change your mind..."

"I won't, Sir." Aiden closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into John's hand. An instant and the moment was gone. Aiden reopened his eyes. "You don't know how sorry I am to say that. Goodnight, Sir."

"Goodnight, Ford." John stayed out in the balcony while he watched Aiden walked away, never looking back. He didn't know how long he stayed there, knowing that once he went inside, there would be no more thinking about Aiden, no more watching, no more secret dreams. He had to respect Aiden's wishes, anything else would simply be an abuse of his powers, and he'd rather die that do that.

Eventually, he did go inside, and life went on, moving from crises to crises, until suddenly the Wraith were attacking and SGC had sent reinforcements, but instead of celebrating, John returned to learn that Aiden had been kidnapped, and his nightly trips to that special place resumed, until tonight.

John gets up from the edge with newfound determination. He's going to find Aiden, and this time regulations aren't going to stop him. John takes one last look at the stillness of the horizon, promising to himself that anyone who stands in his way will be as dead as the night.