Work Text:
Attack of the Slash Fanfiction In Joke
By Scribe
"Mulder?"
"Yeah, Scully?"
"We have mice down here in the basement, don't we?"
"Sure."
"How about rats?"
"I don't think so. Not since Krycek left, anyway."
"Is it possible to have a rabbit infestation?"
"Um, I don't think so. Why?"
"Because there's one out in the hall."
Mulder sighed. "You've been sniffing the formaldehyde again, haven't you?"
"No, really. Look."
Dana pointed, and Fox looked toward the hall. Sure enough, framed in the open doorway was a large white rabbit. It was sitting up on it's plump haunches, short front legs dangling, long ears perked, watching them with bright red eyes.
"That's weird," Dana stated.
"Weird, yeah. But hardly X Files material," Mulder agreed.
"I guess you're right." Scully went back to her paperwork.
The rabbit twitched a pink velvet nose a Mulder, turned, and hopped out of sight. In a moment, though, it's head popped back around the side of the door. It glared at Mulder pointedly, then rapidly thumped it's hind leg. Mulder stood up, and it hopped away again.
"Mulder, what are you doing?"
"I'm gonna follow it, and see where it goes. Maybe I can learn where it came from."
"I'm not so sure that's a good idea."
"Oh, come on, Scully. What could possibly happen?"
"That's just what Alice said about a second before she fell down the rabbit hole."
Words of wisdom, but there's never existed a Fox that could resist a rabbit, so Mulder went into the hall. He was just in time to see a furry cotton tail disappearing into the elevator. As the lights began to flicker on the floor level indicator, he took a moment to wonder how the fuck a rabbit was able to reach the buttons, and considered that Scully might be right in this case. Still, when he saw where the car had stopped, he pressed the button to get it back down...
An hour later, Mulder stumbled back into the office and slumped into his chair. Scully glanced at him, then did a double take. "What happened to you?"
Mulder was disheveled. His tie was askew, his shirt was misbuttoned, his fly was at half mast. His hair stood on end, as if someone had put both hands in it and tousled vigorously. His eyes were slightly glazed, and his mouth looked a little swollen. He also looked very, very confused. "I...I followed the rabbit...down the rabbit hole, I guess."
"What?"
"Well..." He cleared his throat. "Into Skinner's office, actually. Then into his supply closet."
"What did Walter have to say about the rabbit."
"He...uh...didn't really notice the rabbit, once I got there." Mulder blinked. "You know, Scully, as big as he is, it's amazing how fast he can move." He paused. A smile crept over his face. "Unless he wants to be slow."
"Oh." Redheads could produce some spectacular blushes. "What does this have to do with the rabbit."
"Ever read any slash fan fiction, Scully?"
"Read it? I've been in it, Mulder."
"So, you know what a 'plot bunny' is?"
"Yes."
Mulder sat back with a sigh. "Ya know, I never even knew there was such a thing as a 'plot, what plot? bunny'."
The End