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Blair walked into the loft and was greeted by silence. That was the norm as of late. The norm for the last several weeks. Ever since the disaster with his dissertation, Jim had treated him like a leper.
It didn't matter that Blair hadn't tossed him to the wolves, like Jim originally thought. It didn't matter that he had gotten up in front of God and the whole world and told them he was a fraud. It didn't even matter that Jim was part of the group of friends who wanted him to become a cop.
The only thing that matter anymore was the silence.
Blair walked past the soundless sentinel reclining on the couch. He went into his tiny room and dropped his backpack on the bed. His faithful old backpack that now contained manuals on the best way to shoot someone, instead of his beloved anthropology books.
From the living room there was silence, partially filled with the muted sounds from the television.
Blair walked back into the living room and stood in front of Jim. Before the sentinel could protest, Blair began talking.
"Why?"
Jim frowned. "Why what?" He sounded more than a little irritated.
"Why?" Blair's query was quiet. "Why did you let me move in here and why, when the one week was up, did you stop me from moving out? Every time I would suggest it you talked me out of leaving. Why?"
Jim was surprised and didn't answer.
"Why?" Blair tilted his head to one side. "Why did you keep me from moving out after Clayton Falls? I offered and would have moved, so why didn't you let me?"
"Blair..." Blair kept talking.
"Why? Why did you read my dissertation? I told you it would ruin everything and you did it anyway. Why? Why was my writing down the facts of the research you knew I had been doing for 3 years a betrayal of your trust? Why?"
Jim's mouth was working silently. He didn't know how to answer all this pain.
"Why? Why was my finding another sentinel a disloyalty to you? A sentinel who had no ties to me and who I could document without anyone being the wiser. I could have published by dissertation and not harmed you. Why was that bad? Why?"
Jim reached a hand towards his friend and was saddened when Blair didn't even acknowledge it.
"Why, man? Why did you believe I would publish my dis without your permission? I always told you that you would be able to read it first. Why did you believe that I would give up your life without a second thought?"
"Blair, let me explain..." Again Blair interrupted.
"Why? Why is it never enough? I have been shot, kidnapped, treated like dirt by you, Simon and a lot of the cops at the station and yet I have never backed away from helping you. Why isn't that ever enough? Why?"
Tears were running down Jim's face as he looked at Blair's devastated eyes.
"Why?" Blair whispered, sentinel soft. "Why did you bring me back? Why didn't you just let me be dead? It would have been so much simpler and less painful. At least then I could pretend you cared about me a little. At least before I wasn't alone. Why didn't you just let me die? Why?"
Jim was sobbing as he reached out for his friend. Blair turned around and went back into his room. Before shutting the door, Blair turned and asked one last time, "Why?"
Jim lurched up off of the sofa and started towards the bedroom, afraid that he had lost something so precious and so irreplaceable.
The silence of the loft was crushing.