Work Text:
One Moment
by ryanz
It's everything and nothing. It's hot and cold, empty and full, broken and fixed, alive and dead, and every other oxymoron in the book. And I'm obligated to think for six instead of one, obligated to put other needs in front of mine.
-Love: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.-
Dictionaries speak the truth in the plainest terms when people would rather just ignore that truth and believe the lies they continue to tell themselves. Even in your mind you refuse to listen to the truth for fear that it could spout from your lips and the most inopportune time.
Every time the moment arises, every time the words have formed on my lips, I remember those faces, the faces of the ones I cannot let down. I'm reminded of my promises to God, my promise to love, honor, and obey. Adultery is wrong.
She walks by as if she doesn't realize what's happening between us. The chemistry is undeniable. She's beautiful and she doesn't even realize what it does to the other men around her. When she goes home does she know that I just want to follow her there, sit outside her bedroom door and listen to her believe. That would be as good as making love, but then again . . .
One moment just leaves you wanting another and another and . . .Right now it's just harmless flirting, but what will it be tomorrow? What will I do if the moment ever comes?
And then it's just a kiss and tomorrow just sex and the next day it's just leaving my family . . .
And is love worth that? Is it worth that for one moment, one person, one love?
Is it worth that for Olivia?
They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah the world is still sleepin'
While I keep on dreamin' for me
"Kathy wants a divorce." I say softly, trying to avoid eye contact with her. *It's too soon. You can't kiss her this soon.
She'll know. She'll know.*
"Oh, Elliot." She touches my shoulder. Those words, this touch, this moment. And it's everything and nothing. One moment . . .
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
I push her against and the wall and kiss her. Hard. Then I pull back, shame in my eyes. "Olivia, Iâ€""
"Elliotâ€""
"I shouldn't haveâ€""
"Oh, Elliot. Shut up." She growls, pulling me to her in a fierce kiss, one that makes mine pale by comparison.
And how can they say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here
"How long?" Olivia asks afterwards, when we're laying in her bed, the silence both terrifying and thrilling. Yet when she breaks it, it's . . . amazing.
"It was love and first sight, Liv."
"I thought so." she whispers, nuzzling close to me. "I felt the same way. You're just . . . you were a married man."
*You were a married man. Who knows, maybe I'll be a married man again someday. You can never tell.*
I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms
-Love: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.-
Sorry for this. I'm still working on Rochelle's file, this is just a one-shot I needed to get out of my system.
Please R&R.