Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Collections:
Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
Stats:
Published:
2020-11-04
Words:
1,022
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
8
Hits:
1,136

Stupid

Summary:

Fandom: Enterprise
Pairing: Tucker/Reed
Challenge: Written for the Slash Writer's Weekly LJ Community Based on the Lyrics for "Stupid" by Sarah McLachlan (lyrics included at the end of the fic)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slash, Angst

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Stupid
by ShoSen

 

Every time, Malcolm cursed himself a fool, but every time, he did the same bloody thing. It would have been better if he'd simply learned his lesson and let go, but that wasn't something he was capable of. He had no defence against the sad blue eyes and shame-faced smile of an apologetic Chief Engineer. At least, not this one. Time and time again, Trip showed just how little Malcolm meant to him by brushing Malcolm aside whenever he became inconvenient, or a pretty woman beckoned. Time and time again, Malcolm showed just how stupid he was by forgiving and pretending to forget.

It wasn't Trip's fault. After all, he didn't know Malcolm was head over heels for him, so this was Malcolm's doing alone and he should know better. This was why he refused to let anyone in the first place. He was always fell too hard and too fast and he couldn't do anything about it. Now that he was a goner, he knew this relationship was no good for him, but he wasn't able to let it go. Not even when he had so many opportunities to do so.

Like now. Sitting in his quarters, returned early from shore leave, after Trip had failed to meet him for a sight seeing excursion. Instead, he had seen a sight with long blonde hair and ample curves, and had taken her out to lunch, without even the courtesy of letting Malcolm know that the plans had changed. The worst part was, if Malcolm had not seen them enter the restaurant together, he would probably still be there, waiting.

His door chimed, and he stood to answer it, expecting the Captain or Travis, only to stare in shock as Trip walked right in.

"Malcolm! What are you doing back on the ship? We still have a whole day of leave left." His hair was mussed, and his skin still somewhat flushed. From the cheerful grin and light in his eye Malcolm assumed he'd had an enjoyable time with his lunch companion, after the lunch was over, of course.

"I never wanted to go down in the first place," Malcolm said, turning his back to Trip and sitting down at the desk again. He wished he had the strength to tell the other man to leave, but those were words he knew he would never say.

"Aw, come on, we have plans." The covers rustled as Trip sat on the bed, shifting the military folds of the corners.

"Had plans," Malcolm clarified, staring unseeing at the PADD in his hand. "Past tense."

"What? Oh, damn, right. Sorry Malcolm. I met this gorgeous lady by the pool and she invited me for lunch. You know how it goes."

"Yes, I know," Malcolm answered, just like he knew that Trip was currently wearing the self-satisfied smile of a man who has quite recently gotten laid.

"Look, we can go tomorrow. Come on down on the next shuttle. Kassie, the one I met for lunch, she's got a friend and they're--"

Trip quit speaking as Malcolm stared at the PADD that now lay shattered on the surface of the desk. He didn't have a back up of that journal, and he honestly didn't know how this copy had gotten broken, not even when he looked at his shaking and bleeding hands.

"Malcolm, are you okay?" The covers rustled again, and then Trip was beside him at the desk, and at some point the first aid kit had materialized beside the broken PADD.

He couldn't seem to answer. Instead, he was mesmerized by the feeling of Trip's hands over his as the small cuts were cared for. The shaking had crept up his arms from his hands, and now he felt as though his entire body were trembling. If he wasn't careful, he would shake apart, to pieces, and he couldn't, absolutely couldn't do this anymore.

"Malcolm, what's wrong?" Trip was looking at him now, worry and concern and care, and Malcolm wondered if the fire that caused inside him was visible on the surface, but if it was, surely Trip would have noticed by now.

"I love you," the answer had even less thought behind it than smashing the PADD, and Malcolm was twice as shocked by the action.

Apparently, so was Trip. For a moment, he froze, staring up at Malcolm with confusion, and then fear replaced everything else in those beautiful blue eyes as he jumped back as if Malcolm had drawn a phase pistol. All things considered, that would probably have been a preferable action.

"Malcolm, look, I don't, I mean, I'm not--"

"I know." Malcolm looked away, focusing all his attention on clearing the broken shards of the PADD from the desk. "It's all right." It was, because Malcolm would forgive Trip anything, even fleeing the room to leave him alone in his misery.

 

"Stupid" by Sarah McLachlan

Night lift up the shades
Let in the brilliant light of morning
But steady there now
For I am weak and starving for mercy
Sleep has left me alone
To carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
It's all I can do to hang on
To keep me from falling
Into old familiar shoes

How stupid could I be
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see

Love has made me a fool
It set me on fire and watched as I floundered
Unable to speak
Except to cry out and wait for your answer
But you come around in your time
Speaking of fabulous places
Create an oasis
Dries up as soon as you're gone
You leave me here burning
In this desert without you

How stupid could I be
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see

Everything changes
Everything falls apart
Can't stop to feel myself losing control
But deep in my senses I know

How stupid could I be
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see

 

end

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author ShoSen.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.