Work Text:
Disclaimer: But they axed it, they don't want it!
A/N: This started as a joint HET piece with Remyslove, so if you read something similar by us, that's why.
Dedication: My deepest apologies Remyslove. Thanks for being my friend, even when you should hate me.
"It's my fault." Kyle shook his head sadly; he'd been having this conversation with Jake all day. Jake had been on a mission when he had bumped into Sarah and despite all of his protests to the contrary she had insisted on following Jake everywhere so they could 'catch up on each other's lives'. Unfortunately for her, Jake had been ambushed and she had been caught in the crossfire. The doctors had told him that death had been instantaneous.
Which brought them onto today: her funeral, Kyle had insisted upon accompanying Jake.
"It's not your fault. You didn't shoot her; you didn't know you were going to be attacked. And, lest you forget, it was her that persisted in following you." Jake smiled tightly, he knew what Kyle was saying was true, bit it didn't help to ease his guilt.
His guilt which was worsened by the fact that it had been Sarah and not Kyle. Giving up on words, Kyle pulled Jake into his arms, trying to give him the support that he needed.
"I kept picturing that it was you," he whispered into the side of Kyle's head, "then I remember that it was her, and," he swallowed against the knot of emotion wedged in his throat, "and I'm glad that it was her. Because it means..." he fell silent, not sure whether he should continue, whether he was willing to risk everything by continuing here at this be all and end all.
"Because what Jake?"
"Because it means I still have a chance to tell you that I love you."
Kyle froze in his arms and Jake sighed, wondering for the thousandth time what it would be like to live a 'normal' life and wishing that he'd learn to keep his mouth shut, or at least think before he spoke. He let his arms fall from Kyle's body and tried to step away, but Kyle's arms remained locked around him, trapping him within the embrace.
"You know that we couldn't tell anyone?" Kyle's voice was slow and deliberate. He need Jake to understand that while they both worked at the NSA it would be foolish to reveal their relationship, needed to know that Jake would be able to deal with that, but most of all he needed to know that once Jake got over his guilt and grief that he wouldn't think that this was a mistake.
"I know."
"And you still want this?"
"Yes"
Kyle smiled, but it was lost to Jake's neck, he raised his head, eyebrow slightly raised in one final silent question. When he received no resistance from Jake, he kissed him gently. Jake's arms returned to Kyle's body and he melted into the deepening kiss. Breathless moments later they broke apart,
"I love you too."
Jake smiled, his first true smile in days and Kyle felt warmth invade his chest at the younger man finally beginning to feel happier and knowing that he was the cause. He kissed Jake again, he wanted to ensure that Jake never felt sad again, he knew that it was impossible, but he was going to try his hardest to make it happen.
FIN