Work Text:
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended.
Other Notes: The title of this is also the title of a The Matthew Good Band song. All mistakes are mine. I love feedback.
The Future Is X-Rated
"She hates me," Dan says, slumping into the couch.
Casey keeps typing. "I ask this with the assumption that you'll understand how much I don't care, but who hates you?"
"Natalie."
"That's a definite possibility."
"She assigned me soccer highlights for the entire month. Her hatred is less a possibility than a mathematical certainty."
He glances up. "How is that --"
"Don't ask how it's mathematical. It just is."
"Ah."
"Shut up." Dan sits on Casey's desk and points at him. "It's your fault that she's so mad."
Smirking, Casey shakes his head. "If it were my fault, she'd be punishing me."
"You kissed me here while she was still in the bullpen!"
"But I didn't tell Natalie two days ago that there was absolutely nothing beyond friendship between us."
"No. I did that."
"Which means you lied to her, which means she'll make your life miserable."
"It's not like you're innocent, though. So we should be in this together."
"You want me to be miserable, too?"
"Yes." Dan rolls his eyes, circles the desk, and kneels, grabbing Casey's thighs. "Just -- help me out. Please."
Danny on his knees is more than Casey can handle any time, let alone when Dan's expression pleads and his hands slide upward. Knowing Dan knows that, Casey sighs and turns back to the computer. "I'll take the soccer coverage, but you have to talk to Natalie."
Dan grins, leaning in to kiss him before standing. "Thanks, Casey. I owe you for this."
"And don't think I won't call that in later."
"I'm counting on it," Dan says on his way to find Natalie.
Casey chuckles, fingers tripping on the keys, until he realizes that he'll have to talk to Dana. Then Natalie isn't alone in her hatred, and Casey's script isn't for television.
- end -