Work Text:
All In A Days Work
by Bruceybabe
Planet: PT3 921
Ford: Ah, man, do we *have* to go?
McKay: We really don't have a choice, seeing as *someone* managed to volunteer us into taking part in their ceremony.
McKay pointedly looks at the Major. While Ford looks resigned.
Sheppard: Whoa! How was I supposed to know what that guy was jabbering about. He talks more than you Rodney!
McKay's eyes narrow and he folds his arms over his chest.
McKay: I'll ignore that last remark and as to Councilor Jerod, maybe by actually *listening*.....
Sheppard: McKay! ...... Look Guys ... So we have to take part in some ceremony, what's the big deal?
McKay: Well maybe you have should paid more attention Major. Because apparently it's a very *traditional* ceremony so
we have to wear *traditional* clothing, that these nice people are *kindly*going to supply us.
Sheppard looks at Ford who seems to have taken a sudden interest in the brickwork of a nearby wall.
Sheppard: ...O..K....how bad can it be?
McKay: Lieutenant, did you see all those mosaic's and frieze's in the entrance hall as we came in.
Ford: You mean the ones with all the guys wearing skirts.
Sheppard: ..........
Sheppard: Skirts!?
McKay: Kilts.
Sheppard: Huh?
McKay: Technically they're kilts not skirts.
Ford: Guess we should have invited Doctor Beckett.
McKay: Not those kind of kilts you idiot. They're made with strips of leather similar to the kind Roman and Greek soldier's used to wear.
Sheppard: Fascinating as that is, how come I seem to be the only one who didn't know this.
McKay: Well duh! because you weren't listening!
Ford: Sorry Sir, but he does have a point.
Sheppard: Well, do we have to wear the costumes?
McKay: I already spoke to the Councilor and he assured me nearly everyone will be wearing them.
The Major looks sharply at Mckay
Sheppard: *Nearly* everyone.
McKay: Well it seems some of the younger people wear a slightly different outfit, but I don't thin...
Ford: Does it at least have pants?
McKay: Sort of.
Sheppard: Sort of? How can it be sort of? Either they're pants or they're not.
McKay: Well I suppose if you mean they cover your legs then they're pants, but er.. when the one of the Councilor's
assistants showed me a pair, they looked more like pantaloons.
Sheppard: ............
Ford: ..............
McKay: ...............
Ford: So Gladiator or Aladdin?
************************************
Planet : PJ4 395
Major John Sheppard and Doctor Rodney McKay are standing inside a shallow cave that's cut out of a cliff face. Both of them have their jackets zipped up trying to protect them from the cold wind blowing through the cave past them.
Sheppard: So what do you see McKay
McKay : The same thing you do Major ..... it's a wall.
Major Sheppard squints at the cave wall in front of him. Looks at Mckay who's standing beside him .
Sheppard: C'mon there must be more to it than that. Right?
McKay: Nope. It's a wall. A wall with unusual drawings on it, but a wall never the less.
Both men look at the cave wall for a few minutes.
Sheppard: Well .... maybe the drawings mean something?
McKay: Oh I'm sure they do.
Sheppard: Well?
McKay: But I have no idea what that is.
Sheppard: *McKay!*
McKay: What! You thought I would? That I magically became a linguist or an anthropologist overnight. They're pictures, and not very good ones at that!
Sheppard sighs.
Sheppard: Look when we mentioned we were explorers, the old man at the village seemed pretty sure there was something out here we'd want to see.
McKay sighs
McKay: Maybe it's the wrong cave.
Sheppard: The old man gave pretty clear directions.
McKay: Yes, but he gave them to you.
Sheppard: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?
McKay: That for such an exceptional pilot, your skills of navigation on the ground sucks?
Sheppard: ..........
Sheppard: Interesting how you can compliment and insult someone at the same time.
McKay: It's a gift.
Sheppard: And I can navigate just fine.
McKay pats him on the arm comfortingly
McKay: Just keep telling yourself that John
Sheppard glares at McKay
Sheppard: ......Besides there's only the one cave for miles.
McKay: It's the only thing at *all* for miles. And how come Ford and Teyla didn't have to hike all the way out here?
Sheppard: Because Teyla trying to talk the leaders into giving us some food and I thought Ford should stay with her while we checked this out.
Both men continue looking at the wall
Sheppard: Are you sure ther....
McKay: Major I examined every inch of the wall, there are no levers or switches. No cunningly hidden buttons or pressure pads. No seams or joints to indicate there might be a door or compartment. The drawings and patterns themselves don't seem to depict anything in particular, at least as far as I can tell. In fact I'm beginning to think these are just from some of the local kids finger painting, and that *old man* sitting in front of the *fire*, and drinking a nice *warm* drink, and eating wonderfully *hot* food, back at the *village* is probably laughing his *ass* off at the gullible *explorers*.
Sheppard: Maybe it's ju...
McKay: *Major* ...read my lips. ...IT'S...A...WALL!!
************************************
Planet: ?
City of Atlantis
Teyla walked into the Infirmary supporting Doctor McKay who has a lump on the left side of his forehead and the beginnings of a black eye.
Carson: What happened to you?
Teyla: Doctor McKay walked into one of the recreation areas and interrupted Major Sheppard and Lieutenant Ford's game, and was hit in the face by a football.
Carson: A football?
Teyla: Yes. I believe Major Sheppard was able to obtain a small skin from one of my people on the mainland, and the
Lieutenant was able to fill it wit...
Rodney: *Excuse me* aren't you forgetting something.
McKay waves his hand at them to get their attention before pointing a finger at Beckett.
McKay: *You.* Shouldn't you be checking for concussion or a detached retina or something.
Beckett briefly examines McKay.
Beckett: No Concussion and your retina and everything else is where it should be. Though you may have a bit of a headache, and a nasty shiner
McKay: Wait aren't you going to give me a CAT scan or something? Just to be sure.
Beckett: Rodney it was a football not a shot putt.
McKay: Easy for you to say, it didn't hit you.
Beckett: I am curious about one thing, how come the Major didn't come with you?
Teyla: When the Major was sure Doctor McKay wasn't seriously harmed, he told me he had forgotten to do some repairs on Jumper 2, and they required his immediate attention.
McKay: I'll bet he did, who do think kicked the ball. When I find him him he is *so* dead.
Fin.