Work Text:
Failure
by Dayna
Tyr stood and stared out into space. His entire body felt numb. And he knew nothing would ever be the same again. Even his confidence in himself had been destroyed. He had allowed the Andromeda to be overrun with Magog and allowed himself to be captured. But even worse then that, he had failed to protect Harper. Dylan had sent him to make sure that Harper was safe. They all knew that Magog were Harper's worse fear and he had been terrified. Tyr's respect for the young man had grown when instead of cowering away in fear, Harper had confronted his fears head on. At his urging, Tyr thought.
If he had just found someplace to hide Harper away instead of forcing him to face the Magog then maybe things would be different. Maybe Harper would still be alive. But he wasn't. Even after being captured, Harper had taken his words to heart and had fought his captors. And he'd been killed before they could be rescued.
It was his fault, Tyr knew that. It had been his duty to protect the crew. That was his responsibility, his place aboard the Andromeda. And when it had counted the most, he had failed. Instead of being the one to rescue the crew, it was him who needed to be rescued. He was a failure no matter how you looked at it.
"Tyr?"
"Leave me alone, Dylan."
Dylan walked over to stand next to Tyr. "You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault."
"Was it not? There are hundreds of small hiding spots on this ship and I'm sure Harper knew every single one of them. He could have hidden there during the battle and he would still be alive."
"But he didn't want to hide, Tyr. He wanted to face them. It was his choice to fight."
Tyr shook his head. "No, it wasn't. He stayed and fought because I told him too. I told him that it would be cowardly to hide from his fears. He didn't want to appear weak in front of me, so he stood with me against them."
Dylan looked from Tyr out to the darkness of space. "It was still his choice, Tyr. You gave him the strength to face his fears. And that strength stayed with him till the end."
"And that is supposed to make it better? If I had not pushed him, he would still be alive. He would never have gone through what we know was his worst nightmare."
"Tyr, he wouldn't want you blaming yourself. No one blames you for what happened."
"Beka does. You sent me to protect Harper and I failed."
Dylan shook his head. "Beka doesn't blame you, Tyr. She's just upset right now. Harper was like a brother to her. She knows you did the best you could."
Tyr turned narrowed eyes to Dylan. "But my best was not enough, Captain."
Dylan watched as Tyr walked away. He cursed the Magog for what happened. What was once a rather tight knit crew was falling apart at the seams. Harper's death was tearing all of them apart. Tyr wasn't the only one who blamed himself. Dylan kept going over in his head how he could've prevented what happened. Beka had become cold and distant to everyone and Trance stayed with her plants, while Rev had refused to come near any of them. Even Rommie wasn't herself.
Turning to go back to his quarters, Dylan wondered if things would ever be the same again. Would they come together in their grief and rebuild their crew or would they continue to act like strangers? He didn't know but one thing he did know was that none of them would ever forget Harper. Or the guilt they felt over surviving when they hadn't been able to save him.
THE END