Stuff Me, Shoot Me, Mount Me 5A: Emotional Overload

Xander was horrified at himself. He hadn't had more than a couple of hours sleep since Spike left. Now, the next day, he could hardly bear to look at himself in the mirror.

'What on earth possessed me to let him do that?' He thought, chastising himself for the events of the previous evening. 'Why did I even believe what he'd done for Tara? I mean - hello- evil, souless, killer, in my home, saying those things. mmm. doing *those* things. I mean *no* Xander *bad* thoughts, *evil* vampire did not do things to you and even if he did, you did *not* enjoy them, and you're *not* doing them again!'

Xander had decided, if Spike really wanted to shag him so badly he'd have to agree to the next part of the original deal - a Xander rule - well, Spike had his, why couldn't Xander have his own? Proof. That was the clincher. That was the only way he'd shag Spike. Solid proof that Spike had seduced his friends, otherwise there was no way on the Hellmouth that Spike was getting into his. anything, ever again.

And what happened the other night? That was a *big* mistake, a huge - I live on the Hellmouth - shit happens* mistake. A mistake that would never happen again. No matter how nice that cool mouth felt wrapped around his painfully hard cock, no matter how Spike's words had made him feel, no matter that he found himself thinking about the vampire more than he would normally have done. Especially when those thoughts were thoughts that he shouldn't be having. Like how it would feel to have Spike dominate him, push his cock inside his tight warmth.. fill him like he'd never been filled before.

Xander caught his thoughts as they guided his hand to his cock, already rock hard form thinking what he shouldn't have been.

'Oh well. maybe a little fantasy wouldn't hurt.' He thought as the memory of Spike's cool mouth invaded his mind. 'But then, it's proof all the way mister (now I sound like Will - no don't go there Xander)'

Xander relaxed into the sensation the memory had brought to him. His hand found it's way under the rim of his sweat pants, and gripped the hardness of his cock. He wasn't wearing underwear, there was no point when he wasn't going anywhere.

He swirled his thumb around the tip of his cock, slowly milking the head and sliding the pre-cum down the length. He felt the cool saliva, the nibbles on his skin from human teeth, the un needed breath on his thigh.

He began to pant as his ministrations became erratic, the leaking pre-cum lubricating him just so, allowing him to relive the blow job he'd received from the blond. His thoughts were invaded with images of Spike hovering over him, Spike's voice in his ear, telling him that he'd beg for the vampire's cock, beg to be fucked senseless; beg for it to never end.

Breathing heavily Xander screamed. "Spiiiike.."

He came, hard, the palm of his hand hitting the head of his cock as he did, just like it had the back of the vampire's throat.

Xander opened his eyes, stunned. He'd let himself live the fantasy and liked it, and now, he was disgusted again. He was enjoying 'doing a spell' while thinking about a vampire, a vampire who had touched him intimately - a vampire who he should never have let do anything to him, especially not sexual things.

He felt sick, and ran to the bathroom to take a shower and convince himself to stick with his new rules for the game. Without proof - proof that Spike would never be able to get - nothing else was going to happen. And this whole horrible mess he'd gotten himself into would be over.

END PART 5A