Title: Night of the Living Crack Whores

Author: meagan

Summary: A scene from a night out on the town with the whole gang (plus Wesley and minus Buffy). Shortly after "Forgiven" (but before "Jumping to Conclusions") in my Reversal series. I'm not even going to attempt to list all the pairings in this one. Slash. Not much plot here. Really, this is just a way for Xander to find out about the whole S/G/O/W thing from "What Wasted Looks Like," "The Bed," and "Equals" (if I manage to get that one finished).

Distribution: Please ask.

Spoiler: "Grad 2" and my Reversal series up to and including "Forgiven" and the S/G/O/W side series.

Rating: PG-13ish, I think.

Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. If they were mine, things would be different. Specifically, they belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB, and anyone else I forgot. Except I own Vinnie. I am not claiming Marie, though.

Note: Wesley is here because I needed someone to experience the things he goes through with Marie, and I just couldn't think of anyone else to put through the ordeal. And the first half or so of this series was written before I knew about Doyle (this piece was actually started back in May), so he's not in here, and Whistler is. This is based on actual events. The bar was the Rendezvous in Seattle, Washington. If you ever go, make sure you go in the back room behind the bar for the full experience. Just make sure you go with a group of people, and preferably one that includes at least one person familiar with the establishment. And tip the server/bartender well.

Reversal 14: Night of the Living Crack Whores
by meagan

To celebrate the reunion of Xander and Angel, a night out was deemed to be in order. Whistler had convinced one of his cohorts to watch Gillian and Sasha for the evening. The bar was one of Los Angeles's seedier locales. The former Slayerettes and crew gingerly made their way through the extremely dim main bar area to the brightly-lit-considering-it's-a-bar back room. Except the demons, naturally. Those two strolled through as if the place was a fine dining establishment and they were being led to their table. Of course, the margaritas at the Mexican restaurant earlier probably helped them feel more at ease. The group crowded into the last open booth, arranging themselves in an order that raised Xander's eyebrows: Vinnie on the end, then Whistler, then Angel, then Xander himself, then Cordelia. That wasn't too unusual. But the rest of the group -- Giles next to Cordelia, then Spike at the end, with Willow on Giles' lap. Xander wondered briefly what Oz was going to think when he returned from the restroom.

"Hey, guys, there's *fur* on the urinals." Oz frowned slightly at the full table, shrugged, and sat on the only available spot at the booth. On Spike's lap. Willow turned to kiss the werewolf while stroking the former Watcher's thigh. While Spike nuzzled her hair. And massaged Oz's arm. While Xander stared in shock.

Willow had a harem.

And he was the only one who seemed to consider it to be even the slightest bit odd.

A very rumpled Wesley followed Oz, pulling a chair from another table and situating it across from Cordelia. He accepted that she wasn't interested in him romantically, but he was apparently ever-hopeful that she would change her mind, despite her vampire status. If Angel could fall in love with not one but *two* mortals, surely Cordelia could do the same. At least that was apparently his theory. It seemed that he had decided to overlook the fact that Cordelia had gone through an existence-altering ordeal and was now perfectly happy without a boyfriend -- not to mention the disaster that happened the last time the two of them had been alone together.

"So what can I get for you kids?" The waitress took the orders -- whiskey sours, vodka tonics, rum and Cokes -- and left them to their own devices.

Vinnie addressed the group. "Hey, guys, make sure you tip her well. The people who work here don't get tipped much, so you'll get great service." The song on the jukebox caught her ear. "Hey, Oz, isn't that one of your songs?"

"Yeah." After Devon left Dingos Ate My Baby after high school to chase solo fame, Oz chose a slightly different route. He continued to play guitar and write, but instead of striving for fame and fortune, he opted to become a session player. Playing studio tracks on other people's albums left him with plenty of time to write his own music on his own terms without having to worry about commercial viability. The song in question was a cover of the Doors classic "Love Street" by an up-and-coming yet quite talentless female singer for the soundtrack of a movie featuring equally up-and-coming yet similarly untalented young actors. Oz was fairly certain all concerned were closing in on their fourteenth minutes of fame. Next on the agenda for everyone but himself: A quick round of drug addiction and rehab before fading into obscurity, never regaining current levels of popularity despite many comeback attempts. His chosen path may assure his own permanent lack of fame, but on the up side, he would never have to agonize about having once been a star or deal with the stresses such a life entailed. Without the threat of becoming a VH1 "Where Are They Now?" segment, he could live his life the way he wanted. Needed, really. Between the wolf thing and the Willow situation, he just didn't feel comfortable with the idea that people around the world would want to know *everything* about his life. And he needed his life the way it was in order to be truly happy. Fame and fortune would be more trouble than they were worth.

A loud whoop went up from the table across the aisle, interrupting his reflections. All eyes flew to the source of the noise. Some very scary and skanky characters occupied the opposite corner of the room. Even Whistler looked a bit appalled. The women wore short black flouncy skirts and fluorescent tank tops with no bras despite a clear need for foundation garments. Their inner arms had huge bruises -- about the size of oranges or grapefruits. Thankfully, the drinks arrived (everyone heeding the advice to tip nicely), so attention was turned to further ingestion of alcohol.

They chatted, your average chatter of twentysomething friends, of movies, music, former friends, and tattoo artists. After a couple of rounds, a couple of reasons behind Vinnie's directive about tipping was discovered: In a dive bar such as this, such a practice gets you stiffer drinks and faster service.

Then the whoops began anew.

One of the women turned her sights on the only male not crowded into the booth. "Dance with me, honey?" Wesley gaped in horror, too shocked to object.

"Sorry, he's with me." Willow's voice allowed no protest. She followed the woman's confused look move from Giles to Willow on Giles' lap to Spike and Oz to Wesley sitting apart from the group. "He got the short straw." The woman stumbled away. "I think she'll be back, Wes. Get ready."

"So, Giles." Angel had to raise his voice slightly in order to be heard over the shouts at the next table. "What's this I heard about a new book you found?"

Xander tuned out the discussion. He had discovered he had quite the talent for that since moving in with Angel. Not that he ignored Angel. He had just realized that sometimes the discussions that the vampire had with Cordelia, Whistler, and Vinnie were sometimes so boring that he *had* to block them out or go insane. And he wasn't about to watch Willow and Oz, kissing and touching each other like they were still high school students. But he did manage to pay attention to Spike. Specifically, Spike's hand gently tracing a path down Giles' neck as the former Watcher spoke. And Giles did not react in the way that Xander expected. Instead

of pulling away or pushing Spike's hand off his neck, Giles smiled and shifted ever-so-slightly closer to the blond vampire. The hand moved from Giles' neck to his ear. This got a reaction.

But, again, not the reaction Xander expected. "Spike, love, I'm talking to Angel right now. Can you wait just two more minutes?"

And Spike pulled his hand away from Giles. And *pouted*. But he waited quietly for Giles to finish his discussion. Finally, Giles turned to him and nodded. With a grin, Spike lowered his head to Giles' neck. And sucked gently at the skin.

"Xander? Are you okay?" Angel's soft voice broke into Xander's thoughts. Or lack thereof. He followed Xander's eyes to Giles and Spike, now paying no attention to the smaller bodies on their laps in favor of concentrating on each others' lips. Angel smiled. "Things have changed, haven't they?" Xander nodded.

Now his eyes turned to Wesley, gazing wistfully at Oz and Willow. Xander sighed. Just what they needed. Wesley pining over both Willow *and* Cordelia. This was proving to be a fun evening. But then Oz pulled away from Willow -- and reached for Wesley. The younger former Watcher perked up when Oz laced their fingers together.

Oh. My. Maybe it wasn't Willow's harem after all.

Her attention no longer held by her longtime boyfriend, Willow turned to Cordelia. After about half a sentence, Xander realized that they, too, were discussing work stuff, so he could ignore them as well. And watch Oz and Wesley. Xander noticed that Wesley had moved his chair next to Spike. He hadn't *meant* to watch them, but Wesley's soft whimper, audible during the break between songs on the jukebox, pulled Xander's eyes to the unlikely pair. His eyes -- along with Wesley's -- widened when Oz moved off of Spike's lap and straddled Wesley. Xander filed away images -- usages of teeth, tongue, and lips -- to try out later.

"So *that's* why you turned me down." The scary woman from the next table was back.

Oz turned his face away from Wesley and the stranger, grinning at Spike and tilting his head towards the woman. The vampire nodded. Oz moved off Wesley and returned to his previous perch on Spike's lap. "Sorry. He's all yours."

"But --" Wesley's protest was cut off by the woman's hands wrapping around his head and tilting it back. Now Cordelia's eyes fell on Wesley and the stranger.

"My name's Marie." The stranger flipped her unwashed-for-several-days hair back and attempted to gaze at Wesley invitingly.

It was all Xander could do to not laugh at the scene. Angel didn't help any. The vampire gently squeezed Xander's thigh and murmured, "So should I consider her a threat? I'm sure you're next on her list."

Marie spent the next few minutes dancing seductively -- or at least it was apparent that *she* thought she was dancing seductively. The group at the table simply stared in amused horror at the scene. Finally, she sat on Wesley's lap and pressed her lips to his.

"Oh, wow." Cordelia turned to whisper in Xander's ear. "That's just how he kissed me." Xander somehow managed to suppress his laughter. She glanced over at Oz, grinning widely at the mismatched pair. Leaning around Willow and Giles, she raised her voice. "Oz, is there something you would like to tell us?"

Oz shook his head. "It's just fun to watch him try to kiss women. Not his strong suit."

"And what is?"

Now Oz smirked. "I'm not a woman."

Finally, frustrated, the woman climbed off Wesley's lap. "Where the hell did you learn to kiss?" She stalked back over to her own table, speaking heatedly with one of the men at the table and glaring periodically at Wesley. Finally, the man just shrugged and pushed her down on the booth seat, working his hand up under her skirt.

"Ew." Cordelia wrinkled her nose. "I *really* don't want to know about her sex life, and I have a feeling that we're all about to get a floor show." And after a few minutes of groping, the man lifted Marie to the table. She wrapped her legs around his waist and leaned back against the tabletop. "Okay, so, who now does not want to touch any of the furniture in here?"

Hands went up all around the table. "I'm even rethinking the wisdom of finishing this drink." Vinnie gazed at her glass suspiciously. "Then again, alcohol is a disinfectant." She shrugged and drained her glass. "So. We can stay here, or we can go to this other place I know." At Xander's wary look, she sighed. "It's not a dive like this place. Besides, I warned you that this was a pretty seedy place."

"Yeah, but you didn't mention the free live sex show."

She shrugged again. "It doesn't happen *every* night." At the continued silence, she sighed. "I'll buy the first round." No reaction. "First two rounds?"

"Well, you heard her." Spike broke into the discussion. "Free drinks. I'll cooperate."

Giles smirked. "Spike, for free drinks, you'll put on the free sex show yourself."

"True." Spike wrapped his arm around Giles' waist. "So would you like to help?"

To Xander's amazement, the smirk did not change to indignation. "Only if we have good lighting."

"Okay. That's it." Xander wondered how much more he would be able to take before his head exploded. The past couple of months had been filled with enough surprises as far as he was concerned. Fortunately, everyone else seemed to agree that their time at this particular establishment should be over. "So, Vinnie, this other bar. How far away?"

~~~ the end ~~~