Title: Conflict of Self

Author: Raven

Summary: Now that Helena has a better taste of the darkness, how will she react?

Pairing: Barbara/Helena eventually

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Regretfully they aren't mine.

Distribution: Feel free to take, just tell me where you?re putting it first.

Feedback: Is a must

Conflict of Self
by Raven

It had felt good. Good as in better than annoying Barbara. As in better than annoying Dinah. Better than making Reese think that he has a chance. Better than ice cream. Better than sex. Better than just about anything she could think of. It was just better. Pure adrenaline. Nothing could beat it. Nothing.

And that left Helena sitting on the ledge of one of New Gotham's larger buildings, staring at the city. She was supposed to be doing a sweep, but she didn't feel up to it. It wasn't the same.

Sure, she'd been known to live dangerously and just inside of the law, though still out of it though. Not the same. It wasn't the same as breaking the law with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. Ok, maybe minus the song in her heart, but there was definite smiling. Fun was a big factor in this.

She'd even reveled in punching Reese. That was big fun. It was a sense of power that she didn't remember ever feeling before. If she paused she could still feel the energy of the whole thing. All she had to do was close her eyes for a second and it all came back all too quickly. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe not. Right now she didn't care.

With feline grace she stood up on the small ledge. It was a good 60 stories off the ground and for once she didn't care as she jumped. And even then she didn't get the immense adrenaline rush. It was slightly disappointing, but then again what did she expect?

It was nearing 3 AM and she wasn't tired, not even close. It hadn't even been that late when the cops picked up the Animal Gang.

It had been more than 2 hours that she'd sat on that ledge. Two hours since she'd taken off the
transmitters that would have had Barbara yelling in her ear. Two hours since she'd done anything.

They wouldn't understand. Barbara might think she would, but she wouldn't. They all wouldn't. All the better reason not to tell them. She could keep secrets better than any of them. They'll never know.

But it was probably safer that she didn't go back. She'd gone there for maybe a half an hour. It took a half an hour for the feeling to come back. She'd wanted nothing more then to hand send those people to hell for treating her like that. Treating Reese like that. And then she'd switched back into hero mode when she?d convinced Reese not to kill Colin.

Huntress was far harder to control then her regular self. The part of her that was Huntress wanted to push the rules until they bent and then bend the rules until they broke. To find joy in other's pain. To be happy when everything was going down.

The other part of her wanted to hide Huntress away and never let her out. She was dangerous. Out of control. Unpredictable. And yet there was something that attracted Helena to that side. To be able to do whatever she wanted to. Without repercussions or a conscience on her side. To just let herself go and enjoy the feel of power. Nothing wrong with that. Right?

end