euphemisms for masterbation

beating off

Beat the bishop

Beat the dummy

Beat the pup

beating the meat on a toilet seat

Beat your hog

The blanket drill

Bop the baloney

Bop your banana

Box the Jesuit

Bring down by hand

Chicken milking

chokes the chicken

Coax the cajones

Cuff your governor

Diddle yourself

Do paw-paw tricks

Dong flogging

Fight your turkey

Fist fuck

Five against one

Flog yourself

Flog your log

Flong your dong

Fondle your fig

Frig yourself

Fuck Mary Fist

Gallop your antelope

Get a hold of yourself

Get your nuts off

Gherkin jerking

Grip it

Hand jive

A hand job

Handle yourself

Jack off

Jag off

Jazz yourself

jerks off

Jerk your gherkin

Keep the census down

Lizard milking

Manipulate your mango

Manual exercise

Manual pollution

Milk the lizard

The one-legged race

Paddle the pickle

Play with yourself

Plunk your twanger

polishing the torpedo

The Portuguese pump

Pound off

Pound your pomegranate

Pound your pud

Pound the meat

Prod the peepee

pull on the little padawan

Pull on your wanker (a British-Isles term for your privates

Pull yourself off

Pull your pud

Pull your pudding

Pull your wire

Pump your pickle

Pump your python

Rub off

Shag off

She-bop

Shower spank

Simple infanticide

Sling your jelly

Sling your juice

Sluggo"

Snap the rubber

Snap the whip

A soldier's joy

The solitary sin

Spank yourself

Smoking the ginger pipe

Squeeze the lemon

Stroke the lizard

Stroke yourself

stroking the gimmer stick

stroking the meat

Strum your clitty

Take yourself in hand

Throbbing purple pneumatic drill of love

Tickle your crack

Tickle your pickle

Toss off

Twang your wire

Whack off

Whack the bishop

whacking off

whacking the salami

Wank off

Whang off

Whip off

Whip the dummy

Whip your wire

Work off

Work off

Yank off

Yank your strap

Yank your yam

yanks the braid

for women

stroking the pussy (cat)

For Cock

dick

little gator

lizard (draining the lizard too)

main vein (drain the main vein)

penis

pete

one eyed giant

one eyed snake

one eyed willy

one eyed wonder worm

peepee

snake

spike

tallywacker

trouser snake

willy

wally

weepy peepee (someone with a disease)

wingwang