Double Agent Trouble

By Jade Kirk

jadekirk@usa.net

Fandoms: BattleStarGalactica/Star Trek Slash

Note: This is my first try at writing a slash fic.So bear with me.The opening dialog was borrowed from the BSG episode "Greetings From Earth. Maybe this should be a round robin.What do you think?

<> indicate speech in a different language.

 

Double Agent Trouble

By Jade Kirk

Lieutenant Starbuck opened his eyes. He heard a claxon sounding. "Huh? Apollo?"

"Yeah?"Captain Apollo asked.He shook his head as if to clear it.

"How long was I in sleep period?"

"Er......."Before Apollo could answer him, his scanners caught his eye. Starbuck my scanners pick up something right on the edge of our scanning range.......Oh my Lord! It's big but not as big as the

Galactica. It's not cylon."

"Oh thank the lord for that........but what is it?"Starbuck asked just as the object appeared on the scanners along with a weapons readout. Starbuck's eyes widened. "Oh frack. High energy weapons. That thing could fry us right here."

The unicom crackled and cleared. "Attention Alien vessels, you have entered Romulan territory.We have scanned you and we know you are human. Leave or be captured. You have 2 minutes. "Warned a distinctly

female voice.

"This is Captain Apollo of the Battlestar Galactica. We are on a survey mission. We mean you no harm."

"Enough! HUMAN!You time is up. Prepare to be beamed up."

Apollo had just enough time to wonder, "Beamed up?" before his molecules dissolved.

When Apollo reappeared he noticed it was in a strange room. The bulkheads and floor were a dark green. He looked at Starbuck who was looking a bit disoriented. A officer with pointed ears walked up to him and put shackles on his wrists. He reached for his laser but it wasn't there. "Where is my laser?" He demanded.

"Oh. Stupid human. We removed it when we beamed you aboard. We can't have you blasting your way through our ship. Now can we?" Said the same female voice who spoke to them on the unicom. She

stepped forward. "I am Sub Commander T'klia." She turned to the officer who was busy shackling up Starbuck and said to him in her own language." <Leave us. I'll torture them myself.>"

The officer left.

Switching to English she leaned forward and hissed "What the hell are you trying to do? Blow my cover?"

As she spoke two Romulan Guards entered. She turned to them." <I ordered you to leave me while I interrogate the prisoners.>" She spat.

"<Sorry,Sub Commander T'klia but we were ordered by the Tal Shiar to keep an eye on you.>" One of the guards said cringing." <Please don't use the mind-sifter on me.>"

"<Don't they trust me to interrogate 2 humans?>"She muttered." <I'll torture you later.>" She promised.

"Just who are you?" asked Starbuck.

"Silence!" T'klia ordered with a viscous backhand to his face. "You don't speak unless I order you too."

Starbuck groaned in pain. Apollo's heart went out to him.

She marched in front of Apollo.

He looked straight into her eyes defiantly. She grabbed his hair roughly and pulled his head forward. "You human. Look at the ground......not me." She ordered. Apollo winced. She pulled part of his hair out and

Put the brown locks in her belt.

"Who are you?" Apollo demanded with a voice full of pain. "What do you want?"

She grabbed the front of his uniform, went to hit him but she stopped. "Do you have a death wish, human?_______.Very clever____..Trying to provoke me so I'd kill you before you give out any information." She smiled an evil smile. "I see they train their officers very well these days____but I can fix

that__.." She smiled evilly." <Guards bring the mind sifter____Let's see how long these pretty boys last then.>" She gave a very evil laugh." You boys haven't met the mind sifter have you?" She asked them.

The two warriors shook their heads. "Well you're about to find out the effects."

One of the guards turned and left the room.

She turned to the other one." <On second thoughts have them brought to my quarters. I'll torture them there.>" She grabbed Apollo's chin in her hand." <I'll break their spirits.>" She pushed him away from her

and he fell on the floor.

Apollo tried to get up but as his hands were shackled he failed. As he rolled over, to get his balance, T'klia

kicked him roughly in the ribs.

There was a sound of cracking bones.

Apollo groaned in pain. Starbuck who kicked free from the one remaining guard, ran at her, intent on making her pay for hurting his friend, but T'klia grabbed his shackles, with one hand, and with the other

hand, punched him in the jaw, knocking him to the ground.

"Stupid human." She spat. "Our gravity is stronger than yours." She raised her fist.

Starbuck could only look at her hazily before she knocked him out.

Apollo groaned. "Urgh!Please something for the pain......"

Turning to him T'klia ordered "Put these prisoners..........in my quarters...but first get the medic down here.....I want them to be alive to torture.>"

Stabuck opened his eyes. He had a bad headache. "Urgh! Ohh! Headache.....headache? This is wonderful.....pain I love you! It means I'm not dead....."He looked round his surroundings. It was different

surroundings.He remembered the romulans. ".....YET!"

When Apollo opened his eyes he noticed three things. One, that the painin his ribs had gone. Two that his captor was sitting on a chair looking at him, she was alone, smiling. Three they were in a different room.

"Where are we?" he asked her. "What happened to the pain?"

"Well you're in my quarters and the medic healed it." She said pleasantly. "Turning to Starbuck, who was

wincing, "Would you like something for the pain?" He nodded. She handed him a pill. "Take this..... Wait! You need water...." She got up went to her wall. "Water 3 degrees." The wall beeped and delivered the said item in a plastic cup. She handed it to Starbuck, who put the pill in his mouth and took a sip of water.

"Who are you?" He asked between sips.

"Like I said before I'm Sub Commander T'klia. I'm the Commander of this ship and your captor.........Just in case you've forgotten......." She said smiling.

"But who are you really? When we were in the launch bay, you said something about blowing your cover. Who or what are you?" Apollo ventured, nervously.

T'klia unshackled them one at a time and forced their hands behind them and reshackled them.

"Look! Be quiet......or I'll have to make you two strip....."She gives their muscular bodies a once over." <Hmmmmmmm maybe I will anyway...>" Smiling she ordered "Strip!Now!"

When they struggled to take their clothes off, she sighed,she said. "Never mind! I'll do it for you." She reached over her chair and pulled out a sword. It looked very sharp and dangerous.

Starbuck and Apollo flinched.

"What is it?" She asked. She looked at her sword. "Oh you mean my sabre. Don't worry I know what I'm doing...............It's not even unsheathed yet. It isn't sharp..."She unsheathed it and looked at it. she looked at her prisoners and smiled. "Now this is sharp." She moved In front of Starbuck, Apollo moved his head to keep an eye on her, she held her sabre above Starbuck's head.

"You're going to behead him?" Apollo asked sounding horrified.

"Of course not. I haven't interrogated him yet." She said. As she spoke she brought her sabre down, Starbuck flinched, and at the last minute she moved back so her sabre cut into his clothing. She

kept her sabre going until it hit the floor.

Starbuck looked down at himself and saw that she had cut his clothing off him, but he was unharmed.

T'klia tugged at his clothing until it peeled off. Starbuck stood there in only his undergarments. T'klia smiled and turned to Apollo and did the same thing until the two warriors were standing in their

undergarments. T'klia bent down and tugged on Starbuck's undergarments and pulled them down to his ankles. Starbuck automatically lifted his legs to let her remove them. She bent and did the same to

Apollo.

When she had two pairs of undergaments in her hand she stood up and threw them over to her sofa. She looked at the naked warriors standing in front of her and she smiled, put her sabre down, and asked, "Now what shall I do with you two?".

T'klia looked at the warriors standing in front of her. "Well I don't hear an answer."

"I don't know____"Starbuck said looking at the floor.

"Oh I do." T'klia said with an evil smile. "Well you are well built______.Here's what I'm going to do with you_________"

The two warriors looked nervous.

She laughed." First of all I'm going to make you my slaves. Then I'm going to____on second thoughts let me show you. You!" She ordered pointing to Starbuck. "Lie Down." When he complied. She walked over

to the wall and ordered "Bowl of whipped cream." The wall beeped and delivered the said item." Thank god. I wasn't sure if Romulan replicators do whipped cream." She walked with the bowl in her hands over to where Starbuck was lying.

She bent down looked at the bowl and said "Damn I forgot the spoon. Never mind. "She stuck her hand in the bowl and started to smear it on Starbuck's prone body. When he was covered she pointed to pollo. "You lick that off_..NOW!" She ordered pushing him on top of Starbuck.

Apollo looked at Starbuck, who looked back at him with pleading eyes, "Sorry Bucko." Apollo apologised. He bent his head and started licking off the cream.

Starbuck squarked and then groaned in pleasure. "OOOOHHHHH! Don't stop!" He moaned.

Apollo, stopped and looked at him with a bemused expression on his face. *Who knew that Starbuck's pleasure centre was on his stomach* He grinned and started licking again. Starbuck,who by this time was very hard, Shuddered, groaned and spirted his seed all over Apollo's face.

T'klia,who was watching,said "Enough! Get up!" She bent down and helped Apollo up and wiped his face

with a purple hankie.

"Is this how you always torture your prisoners?" Starbuck asked from the floor.

T'klia bent down and helped him up. She then rummaged in her pockets and pulled out another purple hankie, monogrammed with the initial J, and started wiping him down.

"Give them a lot of pleasure."

"Sit." T'klia said indicating the chairs *I get to boss them around. I can't do that on the Enterprise____..*

Starbuck and Apollo scrambled to the chairs and sat arkwardly on them.

T'klia sighed and pushed them right back so their backs were against the chairback. "Now you two are my slaves. You've lost the right to wear clothes and to have a rank. " She pointed to Starbuck "You.Your name?"

"Starbuck." Starbuck said quietly looking at the ground. *I have never been so humiliated in my life.* He thought feeling miserable.

"Hi." turning to Apollo "You, what's you name?"

"Apollo." Apollo said *Poor Starbuck.* He thought feeling sorry for his friend.

T'klia handed the two warriors/slaves a cup of water each. Apollo and Starbuck drank thirstily. T'klia sat down and leaned forward "Now that little show was fun but no fair. I want to join in. How about a

threesome?"

Starbuck choked on his drink

She Smiled evilly and stood up. "What am I asking you for? I'm the Mistress here." She removed her clothes and ordered Starbuck. "You! Take me from the front." and then to Apollo. "You take him from behind."

*Good lord. She's asking me to be fracked by a man___and Apollo at that.* Starbuck thought.

*Good lord.Is she mad.I've never been with a man before and most definitely not Starbuck. Oh lord what is she thinking?* Apollo thought to himself. trying not to look into Starbuck's eyes.

Carefully he lowered himself into Starbuck's behind, trying not to wince when Starbuck cried out, Starbuck lowered himself into t'klia's waiting wamth and started pumping but with his hands shackled behind him it

was a slow process.

Half an hour later all three cried out in pleasure.

*Oh that felt really good.* Starbuck thought. *I'm in the middle. Wonder when we escape if Apollo would be tempted to a repeat performance. Just the two of us. Well if T'klia or whoever she really is can join in.* He smiled.

T'klia looked at him with a very puzzled expression on her face.

*Time to revel my true identity* Tklia thought. She turned her head so she was looking at Starbuck's lovely blue eyes. *Oh he has lovely eyes..........................I'll tell him I owe him that much.*

"Okay."T'klia said moving her head so her mouth was right by Starbuck's ear. "Time to let you know who I really am."

Starbuck turned his head so she was looking into his eyes again. "You're telling me? What about Apollo?" he asked with a stunned expression on his face. "Doesn't he have a right to know?"

"Well I can't exactly yell it out." T'klia whispered in his ear. "There are spies everywhere."

"Okay.Who are you really?Starbuck asked.

"Oh you won't like it....."She whispered back, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"Who are you?" Starbuck asked. "After what you forced Apollo and me to do, you at least owe me that."

Tklia sighed, looked him in the eyes, and whispered "Okay I guess I do owe you that. Here it is.........As you have probably guessed that I'm not really a romulan............"

"WHAT?!" Starbuck yelled. "You're not a mmf mmf." The last bit of the sentence was muffled as T'klia put her hand over Starbuck's mouth.

"Shut up! Do you really want my mission to be ruined?" T'klia hissed in his ear.

Starbuck shook his head.

"Good boy!" She removed her hand from his mouth.

"What's going on?" Apollo asked.

"Our captor was just going to tell me who she really is." Starbuck said quietly.

"WHAT! What about me? Don't I get told?" Apollo pouted, sticking his bottom lip out.

T'klia took one look at Apollo's face and started laughing. "Now that is not becoming for a Starfleet officer. Hahahahahahaha!!!!You look like my brothers when I steal their sandwiches."

"Starfleet? Sandwiches?" Apollo asked looking puzzled.

"Never mind....."T'klia said sighing.

"What's Starfleet?" Starbuck asked.

"What? You mean to tell me.....you're not from Starfleet. "T'klia asked. She rolls her eyes and sighed. "Oh..................this is...just....nice. I've captured non Starfleet personnel...What else can go wrong?"

Just then a red alert sounded. She starts at the sudden noise. So do the two warriors.

"<RED ALERT!>"

"I was being sarcastic. "T'klia said looking up to the ceiling. She signaled for the two warriors to be quiet.

"<T'klia to the bridge>."said Centurion T'glef, looking panicked.

"<What's the problem? And don't tell me you've run out of things to do>."

"<A starship and the Admiral is hailing us............It's the Enterprise>."

"<What?>Oh great!<What does he want?>"

"<He wants to talk to you.>"

"<Oh?..............Lovely.....Acid burns from Admiral Kirk.>"she said half to herself. *Great! Now old daddy dearest is in the act.*

"<Acid burns?>"

"<I'm on my way. T'klia out.>"She said flipping the off switch. The intercom screen went blank. She pointed to Starbuck and Apollo "You two come with me. You're going to meet the famous Admiral Kirk."

"Do we get any clothes?"Apollo asked.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm. NO! You two are my prisoners and as I said before you've lost the right to wear clothes."

"But.......but we can't.....go up there with nothing on." Starbuck protested. "We are going to meet someone famous.....Even if we have no idea who he/she is."

"Oh okay. You ONLY get a pair of underpants." She thought at the last bit and laughed. "I'm going to tell him you called him a he/she."

She walked over to the sofa and threw them their undergarments back. She walked over and saw they were still shackled. She knelt before Apollo and sighed. "Oh great now I have to dress you now. Lift your leg......so I can put these on you."

Apollo complied, lifting one leg and then the other. She pulled them up. She then moved to Starbuck

and did the same. "Come on.We mustn't keep ol' Admiral Horta waiting. He gets very cranky. Spits acid."

"I thought his name was Kirk."Apollo said.

"I thought so too."Starbuck chipped in.

"Oh it is.That's just my nickname for him. Come on we can't keep Dad......er I mean Kirk waiting."

"DAD!He's your......."Starbuck started.

"SSSHHH!" T'klia hissed placing her hands over Starbuck's mouth. "Remember walls have ears......"

"T'klia,where are we going?" Starbuck asked after t'klia removed her hand from his mouth.

"We are going to the bridge. COME."T'klia ordered dragging Starbuck out of the room, by his shoulder.

The two warriors/slaves trudged after her.

"Apollo." Starbuck whispered to Apollo. "How do we get out of this?"

"I don't know. Look I'm really sorry about that..........."Apollo apologised, reffering to the incident in T'klia's quarters.

Starbuck looked at him, smiled,and said "Well it was actually was quite enjoyable.........We can't discuss it now. How do we get out of here."

"Maybe our captor will take pity on us and let us go......"

T'klia turned around and laughed "Fat chance. The romulans wouldn't let you go................."

The arrived at the turbolift doors which yawned open. They entered the turbolift.

"<Bridge.>"She barked.

The doors refused to shut. T'klia kicked the panel next to the door. "Heap of junk! Shut!"

The doors lazily shut."<Bridge.>"The turbolift jerked and moved slowly to the bridge.

When the doors lazily opened T'klia pushed the two warriors out in front of her then she stepped out herself. She ordered Starbuck and Apollo to stand by her chair. She pointed it out to them. The two

warriors scrambled to obey. She plonked down in it and swiveled her chair to the viewscreen. "<Put Admiral Kirk on.>"She ordered.

"Now why do I feel nervous? I don't even know who he is." Starbuck whispered to Apollo.

"I'm nervous too and I don't know why." Apollo whispered back.

"Nervous you two?" T'klia asked. They nodded. "You should be. Kirk is very well known."

Admiral James Tiberius Kirk's weary face appeared on the viewscreen.

"And just who are you?" He asked.

"I am Sub Commander T'klia. Might I remind you Admiral that you are in violation of the treaty?"

"Sorry. Well you see we got lost. New navigator you see. Can't find her way out of a t-shirt BUT much better than our last one." Kirk explained.

T'klia scowled, noticing the dig at her.

"And who is your navigator? You should maybe give them a map next time." T'klia said.

"That is none of your concern," Kirk said. He notices Starbuck and Apollo standing behind her. "but those two are."

"No they are not.I captured them fair and square." T'klia said. "Anyway they tell me they aren't even Starfleet personnel." She smiles "They don't even know who you are."

Kirk gave her THE LOOK!

She smiled knowing she struck a nerve.

Apollo stepped forward. "Can you help me and my friend get home?" Ignoring the warning look T'klia gave him he continued. "She's not really a...................."

T'klia stuck her hand over his mouth.

"Blabbermouth!" T'klia hissed in his ear. "He knows that. Who do you think put me on this crappy mission in the first place? It wasn't the tooth fairy."

"Tooth fairy?" Apollo asked looking at Starbuck, in puzzlement.

"Never flaming mind. Come on." T'klia said noticing that the other romulans were reaching for their weapons. She grabbed Apollo's and Starbuck's arms and pulled them toward the turbolift. "Now that you

guys blew my cover, I think it's about time we made a hasty retreat. Oh bugger!" She said when she saw a romulan blocking their exit. She reached to her belt and pulled out a communicator. "Kirk to flaming

Enterprise emergency beam out three to beam up." Just as she yelled out the last order a disruptor hit her in the arm. She cried out in pain.

Apollo only had time to wonder *Flaming Enterprise?* before his molecules dissolved.

When Starbuck reappeared he looked around at his surroundings and he looked at T'klia who was shaking her head as if to clear it. "Where are we now?" Starbuck asked as two guys wearing blue shirts ran forward and started scanning them.

"You my dear, are now on the Enterprise." T'klia said.She paused for a moment and then she said. "Oh bugger it I left my sabre on there. I have to get it." She shook off the blue shirt that was examining her

and lept onto the platform."Beam me to the romulan ship."

"You're hurt. You shouldn't go........."One of the blueshirts said.

"So are you going to stop me. Take those two to sickbay.......Energize."

When T'klia reappeared she headed towards her quarters and retrieved her sabre. As she was coming out of her quarters a group of romulans was heading her way. She went the oppsite way towards the bridge. As she got to the bridge she walked toward the main console slicing any romulan that came near her."

<Computer activate auto destuct. Authorization T'klia Sha'kai Sub Commander.Code 1-7-0-1-

Alpha.Countdown 10 minutes.Only my voice can deactivate it.>I'll miss her. "She said sadly. "Not!"

"<Auto destruct active>."replied the computer snottily.

"Thank goodness for single codes. Kirk to Enterprise,I'm destroying the romulan bird of prey as per planned." She said when she flipped open her communicator. "Beam me aboard."

They beamed her aboard with only a few seconds to spare.

Meanwhile in the sickbay Starbuck was fidgeting as he was being scanned by Doctor Mcoy.

"Stop fidgeting. I can't scan you when your fidgeting."Doctor Mcoy said grumpily.

Starbuck wasn't the only one fidgeting accoss the room Apollo was arguing loudly with Doctor Chapel who was trying to pull medical rank. "I don't care if you're an Admiral! I'm the doctor and I say Stay Still!" She said loudly.

"I'm a Captain. I shouldn't have to put up with this feldercarb."Apollo said fidgeting.

"LIE STILL OR I'LL HAVE TO RESTRAIN YOU!" Chapel yelled at him.

Apollo looked startled and lay still.

Across the room Starbuck also lay still, terriffied that the object of that threat included him. Doctor

Mcoy said a silent thanks to Chapel.

Starbuck looked at Doctor Mcoy. "Is she always like this?"

"No it's only when her patients misbehave." Mcoy said looking pointily at Starbuck.

"Oh!"

"Speaking of patients, here's my next one." Mcoy said as T'klia walked through the door which swooshed open. Blood was pumping out of her wounded arm. She walked over to the biobed and sat down.

Noticing Starbuck's look of astonishment, she looked at her arm and,said "What? Oh! Did you expect me to bleed green or something? I'm not a goddamn Klingon of an orion, Thank god!" She rubbed her pointy ears. "Doctor can you get rid of these ears and makeup. Hello round ears."

"Sure Jade.I never thought you looked right with those ears." Doctor Mcoy said who was healing her arm with a regenerator.

"Thank god.I never want to do another undercover mission again."

Apollo looked at her as if she was mad. "What?"

"Look guys I'm sorry about what I did to you guys." She apologised "I guess you guys want to know who I really am. I can tell you now. No spies."

"Who are you then?"Apollo asked.

 

To be continued.......................