Title: Dangerous Liasons 3: Burning Bridges

by Morgana

Fandom Babylon 5

Pairing: Marcus/Naroon

Rating: NC-17

Third in the series; sequel to Forgiveness.

Summary: Marcus recovers while staying at Neroon's home. When he finds out that Nasdak's fiancé is pregnant, he relives his own horrors and realizes he longs for a child of his own. Neroon learns about Marcus' true feelings and suggests becoming parents themselves. Then they find out that Marcus can no longer bear any children due to the trauma done during his fall. Neroon then considers carrying the child instead.(Male pregnancy and this time it's Neroon.)

Neroon eyed Marcus closely. For the last thirty minutes, Marcus had been staring outside, at the gardens to be precise. Marcus' hands twitched while patting Legs and the Ranger's feet seemed to gravitate toward the doorway. He constantly shifted in the chair and his green eyes carried an explicit desire.

"Marcus, would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?"

Marcus' eyes grew big. "Are you saying I can?"

Neroon suddenly realized what was going on in Marcus' head. "Shakiri forbade you to venture outside?"

Marcus nervously nodded his head. "I was confined to my rooms. They only let me go outside when Shakiri needed me to attend a formal meeting."

Neroon reminded himself that Marcus had been Shakiri's prisoner for eight months. It would take more than two weeks to undo the damage Shakiri had done. "Then why do you not take Legs for a walk? She needs the exercise, even if she stumbles over her own two feet. You can always carry her if she grows tired."

"Alone?" Marcus' breathing hitched. "You want me to go out on my own?"

"Yes." Neroon encouragingly nodded his head. Seeing the shocked expression in Marcus' eyes, Neroon tried to reassure him. "I can accompany you if that is what you prefer... Or Nasdak can keep you company. Unfortunately I need to study these reports. I would rather spend that time with you."

Marcus blushed. Neroon's work load had doubled since he had become caste leader and it meant a lot to him to hear Neroon say that. "I..." His voice trailed off. He didn't know if he was ready to venture out alone yet. He still expected to see Shakiri or Sallis walk up to him to grab him. During these last seven days he had calmed down, but he still felt uncomfortable around groups of Minbari warriors. Legs had been his constant companion and he clung to the kitten when Neroon wasn't around. "Maybe we can go for that walk when you're done reading those reports?"

Neroon sighed, but didn't pressure Marcus. "Yes, we will go for a walk later." Unable to concentrate on the reports, he studied Marcus who seemed lost, stroking Leg's fur. He had saved Marcus from Shakiri's reign of terror two weeks ago, and although some of Marcus' old sparkle was returning, the Ranger was still withdrawn and very cautious around him and Nasdak.

In the end, Neroon placed the reports aside. "These can wait. We will go for that walk now." He noticed Marcus' surprise and the Ranger seemed to push deeper into the comfort of the chair, retreating. Neroon rose from behind his desk, offered Marcus his hand as support and waited for his mate to get to his feet.

Marcus hesitantly accepted the support. His right wrist was still bandaged and he couldn't use it to carry Legs, now that his left hand rested in Neroon's.

Neroon realized Marcus' problem. "I will carry her." The disbelief that stared back at him from behind Marcus' draped eyes almost broke his heart and he wished he could hurt Shakiri and his healers as deeply as they had hurt Marcus, but Shakiri was dead and so was the child. Neroon realized that Legs had taken the place of the child Marcus had carried and so far, Marcus had avoided discussing losing his son. Maybe it was time he addressed it for Marcus' sake. He supported Marcus and guided him outside. Legs protested against being moved to Neroon's arm, but she settled down eventually.

Marcus sighed, blissfully, as the warm sun caressed his face. His beard and mustache hadn't grown back yet and he wasn't sure he wanted them back. He allowed Neroon to lead him to a bench, hidden in the shade of a large tree.

"Sit down." Neroon handed Marcus Legs once the Ranger had seated himself. The kitten purred and curled up on Marcus' lap. "I love it here," admitted Marcus. "It's beautiful. I missed being out in the open..."

"Tell me more about those eight months." Neroon watched Marcus carefully, seeing the Ranger tense up.

Marcus swallowed hard, rubbed Legs' tummy and hesitated to re-open that wound. "They hated me. I don't know who hated me more, Shakiri or Sallis."

"Did Shakiri beat you often?

Marcus shrugged, careful of his still mending ribs. "Whenever he was in a foul mood. He also liked to watch Sallis beat me up. The pain didn't really faze me, but when I was with child, I feared for the little one's life."

Neroon rested a hand on Marcus' knee, gently squeezing it. "Would you like to have seen your son?" Marcus almost stopped breathing and Neroon regretted his directness. "Marcus, I am sorry..."

"No." Marcus raised his hand, indicating that he wanted to answer that question. "I'm not sure. You told me that he was a perfect replica of Shakiri and seeing that would have hurt. Now I can pretend he was my son as well. I never imagined being pregnant, even when reading the contract. I never expected Shakiri to take that step."
Neroon was at a loss for words. He simply held Marcus' stare and tried to share his lover's pain, respecting it.

Neroon's calm helped Marcus to find some peace with what had happened. "I'm so lucky to have you, Neroon. I dread to think of what would have happened if you hadn't believed I really loved you." Marcus shuddered. "I would have been dead by now."

Neroon reached out at once. "Marcus..." He pulled his mate close, and smiled when Marcus rested his head on his shoulder. "You are alive and I love you. We will be together for the rest of our lives. I will always love you and never doubt you again. I want you to know that you can talk to me about your pain and sorrow. I never lost a child, but I cannot imagine the pain if I ever lost Nasdak."

Marcus smiled against Neroon's shoulder. "Yes, I'm sad, sad because I lost my baby, but..."

Neroon heard Marcus' choke up and hugged him tight. "I am here. You are not alone."

Marcus managed to wipe away the few tears that had left his eyes. "I feel like a nutcase, Neroon. You must be mad to want me as your mate."

"Mad with love and desire for you, yes." Neroon placed a gentle kiss on Marcus' hair.

Marcus needed to distance himself from Neroon, but was unable to pull away. He used Legs as an excuse to move about. "She should try to walk..."

"Are you still massaging her feet?" Neroon had wondered about that, but Marcus had told him that he was trying to increase the feet's flexibility.

"But it isn't working." Marcus placed Legs on the grass and watched her stumble. She tried to run, chase a butterfly, but always ended up on her butt. "She's cute... It's just a shame that her feet are deformed."

"You gave her a home. You care for her. What more can she wish for? Without you, she would have died." Marcus flinched and Neroon wondered what he had said wrong.

"I would have died without you... Is that how I appear to you? Stumbling, needing a home?"

"No." Neroon was honestly shocked to hear Marcus say that. "You are still healing, yes, and you will stumble before you learn how to deal with life again, but I did not take you as my mate because of pity! I love you!"

Marcus instantly regretting making those accusations. "I know you love me..."

"Good. Now we will go back inside. You have an appointment with Valorum. He still needs to check on you. It worries me that your wrist and ribs are still troubling you."

Marcus actually smiled. "Neroon, I'm not Minbari! Humans heal slower!"

"Hum... That is not acceptable," teased Neroon.

Marcus shook his head, let Neroon gather Legs in his arms and then followed Neroon back inside. "Cocky bastard..." muttered Marcus, softly.

"Yes, I am!" Neroon grinned smugly.

Marcus yelped, startled.

"I used a Standard-Minbari dictionary to look up those words... I will think of it as a compliment."

Marcus' smile was honest and genuine. "And that's why I love you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon woke during the night because Marcus was shivering against him. Marcus had been warm when they had retreated for the night. They still slept in the improvised bed; Neroon slightly vertical, popped up against some pillows and Marcus lay facing him, in his arms. Legs had curled up close to Marcus' chest and was pushing against the bruised ribs so Neroon removed her and put her in a warm spot near Marcus' feet. His mate was still cold though and that wasn't acceptable. Suddenly Neroon stared in to alert green eyes. "You are awake?"

"Yes." Marcus shivered again. Although Neroon and he were skin on skin, it wasn't enough to keep him warm.

"Would you like another blanket?" Why hadn't Marcus asked him to get one when the Ranger was awake anyway?

"You don't have to get out of bed for me. I'm used to the cold... kind of."

Neroon shook his head; once more reminded of Shakiri's ugly legacy. "Stay, I will raise the room temperature and get you another blanket to keep you warm."

"Neroon, don't... Not on my account."

Neroon tightly controlled his rage, aimed at Shakiri and his men. "I want to do this."

Marcus gave in and his teeth chattered when Neroon left their bed. A warm blanket descended on to him and Neroon even tucked it around his back before sliding back beneath the covers.

Marcus sighed, finally feeling warm. Neroon folded an arm around Marcus and spooned up behind him, trying to warm his mate with his body heat. "Are you comfortable like this?"

"Oh, yes..." Marcus pushed closer to Neroon's body. He relaxed in the embrace and allowed himself to think back to his imprisonment. He had always been cold in his rooms, even when his baby had been growing inside him. He had been so afraid that the cold would somehow hamper the child's development.

"Are you thinking of Shakiri?" Neroon buried his face in Marcus' hair, inhaling his lover's scent, needing him close.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"You are trembling."

"I felt lonely at night. I was afraid to remember our nights together; remembering the things I had lost. When I saw you for that first time, I couldn't believe you had come for me. I thought I was hallucinating."

Neroon hugged Marcus tighter. "I am sorry that I did not act earlier."

"I don't blame you, Neroon, I never did. I know I dug my own grave when I signed that contract."

"Then why did you do it?" Neroon really wanted to hear Marcus' reason for handing himself over to Shakiri.

"Guilt," admitted Marcus. "I felt guilty for using you and... There's more but I don't want to talk about them."

Them? Who's them? Neroon stored this information away for later. "Do you still feel this guilt?"

"It's grown less these past few weeks, since you're back in my life. You're the first person I really dared to confide in."

"I feel honored," growled Neroon. "But you should rest. Do you think you can go back to sleep now?"

"I never slept in the first place."

Neroon was stunned. He hadn't even noticed that Marcus had been merely pretending to be asleep! "Then go to sleep now. You are still recovering from that fall."

"Neroon?" Marcus trembled, about to make a request.

"Yes?"

"I love hearing your voice... Could you just talk? It doesn't matter what it's about. It was always so damn silent in my rooms."

Neroon swallowed convulsively. He would talk until he lost his voice if it soothed Marcus. "I will tell you about my youth, my parents, my time served on the Ingata with Branmer... Close your eyes, listen to my voice, and let yourself drift off in to sleep." Marcus smiled and eagerly obeyed Neroon's instructions; closing his eyes. He tried to stay awake when Neroon regaled him with tales of his early childhood, but the warm voice quickly lured him into sleep.

Neroon continued to talk long after Marcus' breathing had deepened and slowed down, indication that his lover was finally sound asleep.

You might not blame me for acting so late, but I blame myself. I carry my guilt as you carry yours. Damn Delenn for ordering you to seduce me! Neroon absentmindedly stroked Marcus' back and listened to his lover's steady breathing. But you are in my arms now and the present is the only thing that matters. We are together now...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon walked up to Marcus who had finally gone outside on his own. Legs was tumbling in the grass, reaching out to bury its sharp claws in Marcus' boots. He enjoyed seeing the smile on his mate's face and hoped that Marcus would continue to grow stronger with every passing day. That the bruised ribs and sprained wrist kept Marcus from working out was a pity. Pike training would have given Marcus some of his old confidence back.

"Marcus, you look well today." Neroon seated himself on the bench beside Marcus and gently took his lover's hand in his.

"I didn't expect to see you at this early hour. Weren't you caught up in a meeting?" Marcus tried to stay away from larger groups of Minbari who he didn't know and had opted out of the meeting; unknown Minbari still intimidated him.

"Actually, that is why I am here. I called for a meeting of clan leaders; I need to stay in close contact with them now that I succeeded Shakiri. They will join us for dinner tonight." Marcus' reaction to hearing that news surprised Neroon. The Ranger grew pale, tensed up and trembled. The little spark that had resided in those green eyes now extinguished. "Marcus, did I say something wrong?"

"A formal dinner?" Marcus' voice shook violently.

Neroon wondered why this upset Marcus. "Yes, a formal dinner. We will eat, discuss caste matters and then retire for the night."

"Why do I have to be there?" Marcus' hands opened and closed; became claws and he completely ignored Legs who was trying to climb on to his lap.

"You are my mate. You belong at my side."

Marcus abruptly got to his feet, staring blankly ahead of him.

Alarmed, Neroon picked up Legs who was mewing pitifully. Marcus' reaction puzzled him.

"I'll be there," said Marcus in an emotionless tone. Without giving Neroon or Legs a second glance, he headed for their home. Neroon frowned, followed Marcus and decided to stay close to the Ranger whose behavior had him worried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon watched Marcus closely, puzzled by the void in his lover's eyes. Marcus had showered and put on his Ranger uniform, which he hadn't worn since his rescue. Marcus had been comfortable wearing loose robes or a warm shirt and trousers. Neroon's concern increased when Marcus sat down, fully dressed and staring blindly at the door. What was he missing? What had set off Marcus' peculiar behavior?

Slowly, giving Marcus time to grow used to being approached, he lowered himself on to his heels. "Marcus?" He hated the way the Ranger flinched at hearing his name.

"I'm ready." Marcus' voice still lacked emotions. He sat frozen, waiting for something terrible to happen.

"Why do you not carry Legs? She is much more comfortable around you."

But Marcus rose from his chair without ever hearing Neroon's words. He moved to the doorway and stepped in to the corridor, completely ignoring Neroon and Legs.

Truly worried by now, Neroon quickly followed Marcus, leaving Legs on their bed, where the kitten would quickly fall asleep after playing in the gardens for hours.

Marcus rushed to the hall, but didn't enter, waiting for Neroon to join him.

"Marcus?" Neroon's heart missed a beat, seeing the downcast eyes. In Valen's name... What was wrong?

One of the guards opened the antique, wooden door and Marcus fell in to step beside Neroon.

Neroon didn't like this one bit. The five clan leaders, Zoun, Weyr, Uyi, Barin and his son Nasdak, rose from their seats to welcome them.

"Shai Alit Neroon," said Barin in greeting, "we are honored to be your guests."

Neroon heard Marcus' sharp intake of breath at hearing his title. Why did it upset Marcus to hear them call him Shai Alit? That title had become his when Shakiri had died. Valen, was that it? Was this somehow tied to Shakiri?

They had reached the dinner table and Neroon gestured everyone to take their seats. Sitting down himself, he realized that Marcus was still standing, trembling on his feet. Marcus' eyes were still lowered and the Ranger was staring at the floor.

"Marcus?" Nasdak sounded worried and exchanged a glance with his father.

"Marcus? Please sit down." Neroon got to his feet and rested a hand on Marcus' arm. Stunned, he watched Marcus jerk away from him.

"Don't..."

Neroon felt utterly helpless, hearing Marcus' soft plea. "I am not going to hurt you. Valen, are you afraid of me?"

But Marcus' lips remained sealed, standing rigid like a statue and barely daring to breathe.

"Neroon..." Barin rose to his feet and gestured Neroon to follow him in to a corner of the room where Marcus couldn't hear them.

"Yes?" Neroon never took his eyes off of Marcus.

"Shakiri used these dinners as an opportunity to humiliate Marcus. While the Ranger was tired and hungry, Shakiri refused to let him sit down or serve him any food."

"Even when Marcus was pregnant?"

"Yes and Sallis followed Shakiri's example to torment Marcus whenever he could. Maybe this dinner triggered his memories and Marcus expects history to repeat itself?"

Of course... That is it! Marcus startled when they called me Shai Alit and... He expects me to treat him like Shakiri did. Somehow he was catapulted back to the past.

"Neroon, keep in mind what he has been through," Barin paused briefly. "I doubt Marcus told you the truth about the way Shakiri mistreated him... and he lost the child... Be considerate of that."

Stunned, Neroon realized that Barin was pleading on Marcus' behalf. "Do not worry about his well-being, my good friend. No hurt will come to him, but I need to talk to him now."

Neroon found Nasdak trying to pull Marcus from his catatonic state, but his son was fighting a lost battle. Approaching Marcus, he tried to lock eyes with him, but Marcus refused to meet his gaze. He carefully wrapped an arm around his mate. "Please excuse us," said Neroon, addressing his guests. "But I need to take care of my mate. Marcus, come with me. Nasdak, entertain our guests."

Neroon guided Marcus out of the hall, in to the corridor and then led him back to their rooms.

Marcus allowed it. It never occurred to him to protest.

Neroon gently pushed Marcus down on to the bed until his lover sat upright; his body still tense. Acting instinctively, Neroon hugged him close and held him tight. "Marcus, it is over. You will never be hurt again. You do not have to attend these dinners if they make you feel uncomfortable." Slowly, Marcus relaxed, but Neroon continued his reassurances. "I will never disrespect your wishes. You are my mate, my beloved." Marcus collapsed against him and Neroon took that as a sign that the Ranger felt more at ease now. "Why don't I help you out of your uniform and back in to your robes? I know you find them more comfortable."

Marcus sighed, listening closely to Neroon's soothing voice. It had become his beacon in the darkness that had unexpectedly caught up with him.

"Lean against me and let assist you." Neroon helped Marcus out of the long cloak and tunic, removed the belt that pressed against bruised ribs and heard Marcus' relieved sigh. He briefly released Marcus to help him in to the soft and warm robes. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you..." Marcus suddenly realized what a fool he had made out of himself. He had utterly embarrassed himself and Neroon. "I'm so sorry... I... I froze up."

"That is understandable after everything you have been through."

"But what will they think?" Marcus finally met Neroon's glance. Ashamed, he wondered how he could ever make up for embarrassing Neroon like that. "But when you told me about the dinner... That they would be there... They called you Shai Alit and..."

Neroon realized his mistake; he had assumed that Marcus had recovered enough to understand that everything was different now, but hearing the title of Shai Alit had reminded Marcus of Shakiri and the abuse he had suffered at the dead man's hands. "You should go back, Neroon. They are your guests." Marcus still leaned against his lover and had even wrapped his good arm around the Minbari's waist. His injured wrist rested against his chest. He didn't want Neroon to leave but knew the new caste leader couldn't neglect his duties.

"Marcus?" Neroon cupped Marcus' chin in his hand and waited for his lover to look at him. "I won't ever force you to do something against your will, but would you accompany me? Barin, Uyi and Nasdak greatly worry about you. Even Weyr never approved of Shakiri's actions and..."

"And Zoun? Shakiri and he were friends."

"Did Zoun ever participate in Shakiri's attempts to humiliate and hurt you?"

Marcus shrugged his shoulders. "He let it happen. They all did."

"I know that Barin and Uyi regret never standing up to Shakiri." Neroon searched Marcus' green eyes. "Forgive yourself and forgive them?"

Marcus knew it was the truth; the only real way to recover from Shakiri's abuse. "But it's hard..."

"But I will be there, right at your side." Neroon rose to his feet and offered Marcus his hand.

Sighing, Marcus placed his hand in Neroon's. "Stay close, please? I don't feel up to facing them yet, but I'll try... for you."

"I know this is hard on you, beloved, but you will find that they respect you."

Marcus clung to Neroon's words as they headed back to the hall. Barin, Uyi, Weyr and Zoun had witnessed Shakiri's cruelty, had seen him collapse in pain and exhaustion. They would never accept him as an equal, merely tolerate him because he was the caste leader's mate, but for Neroon's sake he had to confront them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus reluctantly shuffled inside, trying to hide behind Neroon's broad back. Having Neroon close calmed him down, but he still felt out of place. Seeing the clan leaders' faces, he flashed back to Shakiri and Sallis. Neroon's hand gently squeezed his and he took heart, sitting down beside Neroon. This is different. Shakiri isn't here and Neroon loves me. He won't ever hurt me like Shakiri did.

A servant placed a plate, filled with fruits, in front of him. Cautiously, he looked at Neroon, who was still holding his hand above the dinner table, in plain view of everyone. He ignored the pain in his wrist and ate a peach-like piece of fruit. Neroon smiled, obviously pleased that he was eating and encouraged him to try another. He still avoided making eye contact with most of them; he only glanced at Nasdak now and then.

"Marcus?" Uyi tried to catch the elusive green eyes, but Marcus quickly looked away. "We regret that you suffered at Shakiri's hands. We never agreed with him, but... We acted like cowards, unworthy of our caste."

Marcus held his breath; he could barely believe that Uyi was apologizing to him. "I hold nothing against you."

"No, this needs to be said." Barin sounded determined. "We also regret that you lost the child. We could have saved his life if we had acted honorably."

Marcus felt paralyzed now that Barin mentioned the child he had lost. "I don't want to talk about... about my son."

Neroon exchanged a look with Barin, pleading with him for understanding. "It is too soon, my friend."

"And we respect your pain," said Barin. "We just wanted to offer our condolences."

"Marcus nodded, feeling tired. "Neroon, can we please change the subject?"

Neroon was tempted to remind Marcus that Barin was merely expressing his support, but reconsidered; his lover had suffered enough and deserved leniency. Looking at Marcus, he found the Ranger trembling, on the verge of fainting. Supportively, he squeezed his lover's hand and tried to distract Marcus by addressing Nasdak. "My son, did you already find a worthy mate?"

Marcus' head jerked back in surprise. "Mate?"

Neroon nodded once. "Now that Nasdak is the leader of the Star Riders he needs a mate as his side."

"Actually, father, I found someone. Her name is Brid and she belongs to our clan... She is beautiful." Nasdak smiled shyly.

Neroon returned that smile. "Marcus and I are looking forward to meeting her. Do not keep us waiting too long." Glancing at Marcus, Neroon privately thanked Nasdak for mentioning his love to them. It surely distracted Marcus who looked stunned. "Tell us more about her." He would do anything to keep Marcus from brooding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus remained quiet and subdued through dinner and Neroon decided to retire early. After saying goodbye to his guests, he walked Marcus back to their quarters. He planned on having a private conversation with Nasdak later, once Marcus was sound asleep.

Neroon closed the door behind them and watched Marcus collapse on the improvised bed. Eyes downcast, Marcus looked miserable.

"Neroon? Did I... did I do all right?"

Neroon's heart contracted painfully. "Marcus..." Sighing, he joined his lover and felt at a loss for words.

"I messed up, I know that. I only had to attend dinner and I utterly embarrassed you."

Marcus shrunk before his eyes, retreating within himself. "No, Marcus, you did well. I am very proud of you. You faced them, knowing they stood back and let Shakiri abuse you. You were very courageous to face them." Marcus' ashamed expression made him cringe. "You did nothing to embarrass me. I am proud of you."

Marcus looked lost and Neroon reacted by pressing a gentle kiss on his lover's lips. "But you look tired; we should get some sleep." Although Marcus still looked unconvinced, the Ranger got up and went in to the bathroom to change for the night. The rage, that had been boiling beneath his calm exterior, surfaced. His hands turned in to fists and Neroon wished he had stopped Shakiri earlier.

As Marcus returned, now dressed in soft blue robes, Neroon pushed back his anger and changed his clothing as well. A moment later, he slipped beneath the blankets. Marcus rolled onto his left side, offering him a chance to spoon behind him. He caressed the dark locks, rubbed Marcus' back and tried to warm the cold skin. He offered his silent support, knowing Marcus well enough to know that the Ranger didn't want to talk right now.

He continued the caresses until he was certain that Marcus was asleep. After kissing his lover's soft hair, he left the bed and tucked the blankets around Marcus' sleeping form. He would hurry back here after talking to Nasdak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Father." Nasdak respectfully rose from his chair when Neroon entered. "I hope Marcus is doing better? I did not expect him to be so... hurt."

"It is a slow recovery process." Neroon embraced his son. "But I am here to discuss your choice of a mate. Tell me more about her."

They sat down in front of the window and Nasdak sighed, glancing at the dark sky, filled with sparkling stars. "I fell in love with her some months ago. I should have told you earlier, but there was no time. Marcus had just entered your life and then we found out about Delenn's orders. I considered telling you when Marcus was with Shakiri, but you were so sad that I did not feel happy myself."

"She belongs to the Star Riders' clan?"

"Yes, she is Umor's daughter."

Neroon nodded his head. "Umor is a well respected warrior." He had met the elderly Minbari on a few occasions. "He belongs to a very old house and most families will approve of you marrying his daughter. You need the clan's permission first though. Summon them, explain everything to them and see if anyone objects."

"I already sent out the invitations for the meeting. I was hoping you would be there to support me." Although getting the clan's permission was merely a formality, they could stop him from marrying Brid and he didn't want to take the risk of losing her. With Neroon, their caste leader, backing him up they would give in more easily.

"I want to meet her first." He had to be sure that Brid was acceptable as his son's mate.

"I will arrange for a meeting," promised Nasdak. Nervously, he made eye contact with his father. "There is something else you need to know."

Neroon frowned; Nasdak sounded worried, almost apprehensive. "What?"

"Brid is pregnant with my son."

Neroon's fingernails buried themselves in the wooden armrest. "Pregnant?" Rationally, he knew he should be congratulating his son, but his heart went out to Marcus after his lover had suffered a miscarriage.

"Maybe Brid and I can stay at our residence at Rathor? At least until the child is born? I am worried about Marcus' reaction to seeing her pregnant. It might worsen his own pain." He had come to care greatly about the Ranger and didn't want to expose him to Brid's pregnancy. It would only remind him of the pain he had suffered when he had lost his child.

Neroon nodded his head once. "I worry as well. Seeing her pregnant might cause his own pain to awake again and he is still too weak to face his past."

"How is Marcus doing? He did not act like himself during dinner, at least during the first half of dinner."

"Shakiri always humiliated him during these dinners. He expected history to repeat itself."

"That must have hurt you..."

Neroon met his son's glance. "I could not believe that he expected me to act like Shakiri. I underestimated the trauma he suffered."

The expression in Neroon's eyes told Nasdak that his father wanted to return to his mate and he got to his feet, indicating he was about to leave. Neroon walked him to the doorway and he sighed deeply, hoping his father wouldn't give up on the Ranger. "This will take time, father."

Neroon nodded once. "He is strong, Nasdak. Marcus will make a complete recovery."

I hope so, father...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus pulled Legs close, hugging the feline tight. He had been alone in bed when he had woken up half an hour ago and he wondered what had driven Neroon out of their bed. He felt lonely, realizing how used he had become to sleeping close to Neroon.

Stroking the soft fur, he felt guilty for no longer being intimate with Neroon. They had made love that night when Neroon had taken him home, but since then he had felt distance, not even once encouraging Neroon to make love to him. That had been three weeks ago and although he wanted to feel Neroon inside him, he felt too depressed to actually act on his desires. Maybe that was why Neroon had left; to take care of his personal needs. He cringed at the thought of Neroon jerking off in the bathroom.

When did everything go wrong? When Neroon found the lotion, that's when. Being exposed led me to accepting Shakiri's terms and signing that bloody contract. I hate the damn bastard for what he did to me and the baby. Why did I sign? Guilt. I can never get away from it; it follows me everywhere I go and it only deepens.

Marcus pulled the blankets closer around his shivering body. Life without Neroon seemed cold and void and he was determined to keep the Minbari pleased. He would behave the way Neroon wanted him and try to read Neroon's moods and act accordingly.

The door opened and he quickly closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. Neroon lay down behind him and pulled him close. Legs softly mewed her protest, but Marcus didn't react. Apparently Neroon didn't want him to know he had briefly left and he wasn't going to question the Minbari.

"You are awake." Neroon was more alert now and realized Marcus was merely pretending.

"Yes." Marcus didn't know what Neroon wanted to hear so he grew quiet again.

"I had to talk to Nasdak. I am sorry you woke up alone." Neroon tried his best to reassure his lover. "You looked tired and I did not want to bother you... And no, I am not cutting out out. You need the rest."

Marcus bit his bottom lip.

Neroon suddenly needed to know Marcus still wanted to be with him, and for the first time in three weeks, he licked Marcus' neck and let his hands slip beneath the Ranger's robes to caress the smooth skin, hoping it would lead to making love.

At first, Marcus didn't know how to react to Neroon's advances. He really wanted Neroon, but...

"Marcus, talk to me. I feel like you are slipping away from me. There is this barrier between us now." He watched Marcus closely, worried how Marcus would interpret his words. "I feel like I cannot reach you any more. I do not want to lose you to Shakiri's ghost."

Marcus fought back tears. He hadn't thought that Neroon would be so brutally honest. Encouraged, he turned in the embrace and firmly meet Neroon's dark eyes. "I love you, Neroon, I really do, but... I'm not used to expressing my feelings. I always denied their existence. Since you rescued me I... I don't know what's wrong with me." Marcus searched deep within his soul and then forced himself to admit the truth. "I'm hurting... I never wanted to lose the baby and... I don't know how to act around you. You are all I have left and I can't lose you!"

"You will never lose me, Marcus." Neroon opted for action now that words weren't reaching Marcus. He claimed his lover's lips and let his passion speak for him.

Marcus hesitated, surprised, but then returned the kiss. Neroon deepened it, let his fingers trail down Marcus' back and loved the smooth feel of his lover's skin. "Do you want to make love tonight?"

Marcus smiled. "Yes, but... I doubt I have the necessary energy..."

"Then let me pleasure you." The prospect of making love to Marcus thrilled Neroon. "I better place Legs in the chair. We do not want to roll on top of her by accident."

Marcus nodded and watched as Neroon climbed out of bed, gathered Legs and placed the sleeping feline on a comfortable pillow in the chair. While returning to the bed, Neroon dropped his robes. Concentrating on his lover, he peeled back the blankets and almost reverently removed Marcus' robes as well.

He took in Marcus' haggard appearance. The Ranger was too skinny and his skin tone awfully pale, even in spite of sitting in the gardens. The bandages emphasized his injuries and reminded Neroon that he had to be careful. His fingers bestowed featherlight caresses to Marcus' skin and he worshipped his lover's body that raised to meet his caresses. Licking, caressing and kissing, he rediscovered Marcus' body, taking his time.

Marcus had closed his eyes and was hard, leaking pre-ejaculate. He raised his hips in a mute plea and Neroon obliged him, closing his lips around the erect cock.

"Oh..." Marcus sighed and his eyes flashed open at the exquisite contact. Looking at Neroon, he briefly forgot to breathe. Going down on him was something Neroon obviously enjoyed, judging from the smug expression on the Minbari's face. "Neroon..."

"Yes?" Neroon released the throbbing erection long enough to whisper the word.

"Would... would you make love to me? It's been so long since..." Marcus swallowed the rest of his words, reading the same desire in Neroon's eyes.

"Yes..." Neroon gave him a thoughtful look. "But your ribs are still causing you discomfort. How about on your side?"

"No, I want to see you... I need to see you."

Neroon sighed, pleased. "I will be careful." He uncovered the little jar of oil which they used as a lubricant and prepared Marcus carefully. His lover easily took his fingers, feeling relaxed and wanting this as much as he did. "You are ready for me..." Neroon placed his hands on either side of Marcus' head and supported himself, careful not to put any weight on the still healing ribs. "Guide me inside..."

Marcus licked his lips, nervously, and reached for Neroon's cock, placing the hard flesh against his entrance. "Now..."

Neroon obliged him and pushed inside, gently, slowly. At the same time he claimed his lover's lips, engaging his tongue in a duel. Marcus moaned in to his mouth and he buried himself inside the hot and willing passage. His heavy balls slapped against Marcus' skin and he grinned. "I will never grow tired of making love to you." Marcus' big eyes begged him to end their torment and he began a gentle rhythm, mindful of the bruised ribs.

Marcus briefly closed his eyes, and then smiled, feeling Neroon's lips kiss his eyelids. The gentle thrusts massaged his prostate, but they lacked their usual force, prolonging his pleasure. A few minutes later, he opened his eyes and smiled lazily at Neroon. "I don't think we ever went this long."

"Do you like it?" Neroon licked beneath Marcus' collarbone, sending shivers down his lover's spine. Marcus' nod caused him to smile. "Stroke yourself. I want us to climax together." He would gladly have pumped Marcus himself, but he needed his hands to support himself. Marcus blushed slightly, but then wrapped his fingers around his cock.

Stroking in rhythm with Neroon's thrusts, it took him longer than usual to reach orgasm and when he climaxed it felt much more intense than it normally did. In a reflex, he raised his hips so Neroon's cock battered against his prostate. "Oh yes..."

Neroon suckled already bruised skin and gently nipped without drawing any blood. Marcus threw back his head, exposing more of his throat. Neroon accepted and licked the skin, playfully nipping and suckling. Marcus' muscle contracted around him, causing him to reach orgasm himself. "Mar...cus..." He almost collapsed on top of his lover, but kept back. Instead, he gently rolled Marcus on top of him. He parted his legs and Marcus settled between them. He looked up at Marcus and claimed his lover's lips once more.

Marcus suddenly found himself on top and Neroon beneath him. The Minbari was still hard and inside him and he slowly realized that Neroon was ready to go again. "Bloody hell, Neroon, I..." He felt wasted, ready to fall asleep and certainly wasn't up for another round, no matter how gently Neroon was.

"I will pull out now..." Neroon took his time and left his lover's body. His arms came up behind Marcus' back and he held him close. Marcus had buried his face against his chest and was trembling.

"You're still hard..."

"It has been three weeks since we last made love..." Neroon brushed some stray locks away from Marcus' face. "I will always desire you."

Marcus nervously moistened his lips. "Do you want to make love again?"

"No... you are tired and need rest. My erection will fade eventually."

Marcus felt a little hesitant, but went ahead with his question anyway. "Would you... take care of that... for me?"

Neroon chuckled. "You want to watch? I never knew you were a voyeur, Marcus."

"You don't have to do it." Marcus already regretted his question.

"No, I like the idea, but you need to roll on to your side first." Neroon maneuvered Marcus on to his right side and then met his lover's eyes. "Now watch."

Marcus stared as Neroon stroked himself slowly. "I never thought you'd actually do it."

"You were teasing me?" Neroon smiled and played with soft dark locks while pumping himself. The expression in Marcus' eyes told him that they stood stronger now, united after making love. "Give me your hand..." He gently took hold of Marcus' hand, closed the Ranger's fingers around his cock and then covered Marcus' hand with his.

Marcus swallowed hard, following Neroon's lead. He leaned in closer and instigated a long kiss. Minutes later, warm come dripped down his fingers and Neroon's sated sex grew lax in his hand. "I love you..."

Satiated, Neroon sighed. "We will rest a little longer and then I will prepare a bath. We need to clean up." Not getting an answer from Marcus, he frowned and searched the Ranger's face. "Valen, he is asleep. I worn him down!" Chuckling, he enjoyed holding his lover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon terminated his call to his son. He had confirmed that he would attend the clan meeting to express his approval of Nasdak courting Brid. However, there was one problem: Umor had offered to hold the meeting at his residence and Marcus wasn't fit to travel the distance yet. That meant he had to leave Marcus alone and he wasn't sure his lover was ready for that. Sighing, he realized that he didn't have a choice. He left his office and headed for his quarters where Marcus was resting after a walk in the gardens. On his way there, he instructed a servant to gather his staff members and to tell them to meet him in his quarters.

Neroon entered his rooms and found Marcus sitting on the balcony, bathing in warm sun light. He was massaging the kitten's little paws. Pleased, he noticed that Marcus looked better this morning. Making love had lifted his spirits. "Good morning, beloved." Neroon came to a halt behind Marcus' chair and pressed a kiss on his mate's hair.

"Morning, Neroon." Marcus smiled brilliantly and leaned into the caress.

Neroon pulled up a chair and sat down, watching Marcus. His mate's expression pleased him. "You look well today. Rested... and you are smiling."

"I feel better... Thanks to last night. I really missed... You know... Making love." Marcus placed Legs on the floor. "Off you go."

Neroon frowned. "She seems more balanced and her right paw is back at the correct angle." The stumbling had lessened.

Marcus observed the kitten and reached the same conclusion. "Maybe massaging her ligaments is paying off?" Marcus called Legs and she ran over to him, still stumbling, but more balanced than before.

Neroon drew in a deep breath, not looking forward to informing Marcus about the upcoming meeting he had to attend. "I need to tell you something." He hated the way Marcus' eyes lost their sparkle.

"Something bad?" Marcus had spent the morning in his personal heaven and was coming down hard.

"No," said Neroon, trying to reassure Marcus. "But clan matters require my presence at Kador. And I need to find out if Brid is the right mate for my son before I can make any arrangements for Nasdak's wedding ceremony."

Marcus wrung his hands, which were twitching nervously. Neroon was leaving and he couldn't bear the thought of being alone at night. The nightmares would surely return, but he couldn't ask Neroon to stay; the clan and most certainly Nasdak came first. Neroon was caste leader and it was his duty to lead his men. "Tell Nasdak I'm happy he found someone. I'm sure they'll be happy."

"I will convey them your congratulations." Neroon tried to find the best way to tell Marcus what was expected of him. "During my absence my staff will assist you."

"Huh?" Puzzled, Marcus locked eyes with Neroon. "Your staff? Assist me? Why?"

"You will be in charge here after I leave." Neroon chuckled softly, seeing the disbelief in Marcus' eyes. "This is a rather large estate, nearly five hundred Minbari live here and they require guidance." A knock on the door interrupted him. "Enter." Neroon observed Marcus while his confidants joined them on the balcony.

"Neroon?" Marcus recognized Valorum, but the other three Minbari were strangers to him.

"You already know Valorum; he is the head of my medical staff. To his right is Seel, my second in command."

Seel nodded once. He wore the traditional warrior outfit and his bonecrest had been sharpened and looked aggressive. Marcus felt intimidated and tried to hide his feelings of unease. Seel reminded him just a little bit too much of Sallis.

"If you encounter any problems with our defenses or communications consult Seel." Neroon ignored Marcus' apparent unease, hoping his mate would grow more confident in time. "This is Rom, she is in charge of the household. You can turn to her in case there are any unexpected guests. She will also consult you about meals and the food supplies. And Jana here will be your personal assistant and secretary. Should you wish to contact me Jana will arrange for it."

All four Minbari respectfully bowed and Marcus felt shy and embarrassed. "Neroon, can we talk? In private?"

"Thank you for joining us," said Neroon, dismissing his staff. "Marcus will contact you shortly."

The four Minbari exited the rooms, leaving them alone.

"Neroon, what do you think you're doing? You can't put me in charge! Neroon, I know nothing of..."

"Marcus." Neroon quickly silenced him. "You will do excellently. My assistants will help you, and you are perfectly capable of managing my household."

"I'm not so sure, Neroon." Marcus felt distressed. "I'm human, Neroon, human. They won't take orders from me!"

"Marcus, stop doubting yourself! There is no reason for you to feel this insecure!"

"You don't understand!" A distant look appeared in Marcus' eyes. "I can't be in charge! I always screw up. I'll get them killed."

Neroon acted, hearing the frantic, panicking tone in Marcus' voice. "You won't get anyone killed, Marcus. Why do you think that?" How had Marcus reached that conclusion?

"But it happened before!" Marcus grabbed Neroon's hands. "It will happen again!"

Neroon realized that Marcus was finally revealing bits and pieces of his past to him and it had probably something to do with those feelings of guilt Marcus had hinted at earlier. "What happened? Who died?"

Marcus suddenly felt unable to breathe. Oh God, what had he done? What had he said? Neroon's hand rubbed his, encouraging him, but he couldn't confess his horrible mistakes.

"Marcus, please trust me. Confide in me. I am here for you." Neroon hoped Marcus would entrust his pain to him.

Marcus drew in a deep breath. Could he tell Neroon the horrible truth? Delenn was the only one he had ever confided in. Neroon respected him now, but would the Minbari still feel that way later? "I was in charge of a mining colony on Arisia. My brother, William, had joined the Rangers and returned to negotiate a contract on their behalf. He also warned me that the Shadows would attack the colony, but I ignored his warning." Marcus closed his eyes, reliving horrid memories. "Willie died in my arms and none of my workers survived." Oh, Hasina, I am so sorry you died! "I was the sole survivor."

Neroon gently squeezed Marcus' hand in sympathy. Survivor guilt, that explains his feelings. "I did not know about your past and I am truly sorry you lost your brother and your men."

"That's why I can't be in charge, Neroon. I joined the Rangers because I couldn't be responsible any longer; the only thing I do now is follow orders and then you came along. You changed everything." Marcus was at a loss. "Put Valorum in charge, or Seel!"

"No, I am putting you in charge and no one else." Marcus needed to experience success after his presumed failures. "I will only be gone for a few days and I have the utmost confidence in you."

"You're making a mistake." Marcus shook his head, realizing Neroon wouldn't change his mind. Legs managed to climb onto his lap and seemed surprised when she didn't topple over. Marcus smiled, saddened. "You're a good girl, Legs." But his thoughts were no longer with the kitten's progress. Neroon had put him in charge and he would mess up. He always did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon's aides had packed his belongings for his trip and a pilot was already checking the flyer for lift off. It was time to say goodbye to Marcus. Neroon was surprised at how hard that was.

"Marcus?" He walked over to his mate, who was staring out of the window, back turned toward him. Marcus was still displeased that he had been put in charge.

Marcus turned around and failed to hide his unease. He nearly begged Neroon to stay, but didn't. "Don't stay away too long?"

"I will always hurry back to you." Neroon folded his arms around Marcus and held him close. "I will be back soon."

Marcus didn't trust his voice and simply returned the hug. "I miss you already."

A knock on the door announced Seel's arrival. Neroon had instructed his second in command to keep a close eye on his mate. "I will be back within the week."

Marcus swallowed nervously; he had to let Neroon go. "Tell Nasdak I miss having him around."

Neroon nodded once, turned around and marched out of the room without looking back.

Marcus felt alone and not even Legs' purrs managed to distract him. He had a bad feeling about this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus felt distinctly uncomfortable sitting behind Neroon's desk, reading reports that were meant for Neroon's eyes only. Jana had translated them into Standard so he could read them, but it still didn't feel right.

Seel guarded the door and was getting on his nerves. Seel had been close since Neroon had left, never letting him out of sight for long. At night, he heard guards take up position in front of his door and he began to feel like a prisoner all over again. "Marcus, may I enter?"

"Yes, Valorum." He had expected the healer to show up. His appetite had left with Neroon and the healer had noticed.

Valorum entered and bowed. "You should rest for a while. You have been in here for hours."

"I'm fine!" Marcus immediately regretting snapping at Valorum like that.

"You miss Neroon."

"Yes... I do." Marcus leaned back in his chair and hissed as his mending ribs protested. "And Seel's making me nervous. Can't he leave me alone?"

Valorum signaled Seel to step outside and then sat down in front of the desk. "Is his presence evoking memories of Sallis?" That had never been Neroon's intention.

Feeling caught, Marcus nodded his head. "It's like I traded Shakiri's rooms for Neroon's. I know it's not true but..."

"That is the way you feel and it is understandable. Did you tell Seel that this is troubling you?"

"No..." Marcus looked up apologetically. "I know their attitude. They're following Neroon's orders... not mine."

"And that is where you are mistaken..." Valorum gave Marcus a long and thoughtful look. "Please call Seel back inside for me."

Marcus wrung his hands. "Valorum..."

"Just do it, Marcus."

Marcus sighed, giving in. "Seel? Could you join us?"

The door opened and Seel stepped back into the room. After bowing his head, he stood there, waiting.

"Now tell him what you just told me," Valorum instructed. "Seel cannot read your mind, he is not a telepath."

Bloody hell, was Valorum really making him do this? He looked pleadingly at the elderly healer, but Valorum was waiting for him to address Seel. Bugger, the old Minbari wasn't giving him a way out! He couldn't tell Seel about Sallis, but Valorum wouldn't leave until he had done so. In a trembling tone he finally found the courage to address Seel. "I... I don't feel comfortable with you being so close all the time. You remind me of a time when..." Valorum nodded his head, encouraging him to continue.

"When Sallis guarded my every step." There, he had said it. Now Seel had lost the little respect he had for him.

Seel remained quiet and Marcus feared having insulted the warrior. Seel was Neroon's second in command and he didn't want to offend the man. He was about to apologize when Seel spoke first.

"I should have known, but Neroon entrusted me with your safety and I take my responsibilities very seriously. But I understand that this situation reminds you of Sallis guarding you. I was there when Nasdak launched his rescue attempt."

"You were?" Marcus frowned. "I don't remember a thing about that day. I only vaguely recall falling..."

"I will try to be more discreet, but I will make sure that you are safe."

Marcus nodded once. Knowing that Seel had participated in his rescue made the warrior more sympathetic. "And I will try to accept your presence..."

Seel bowed again. "Do you wish me to take up position in the corridor or in here?"

Marcus hesitated. Now that they had had this conversation he didn't feel that edgy anymore, but... "In the corridor?" He did need a little privacy.

"As you wish." Seel turned around and left the room.

"Was that as hard as you thought it would be?" asked Valorum. "Seel is a respected warrior, one of Neroon's oldest friends. He would never let harm come to you."

"I feel better now." Marcus felt grateful that Valorum had made him do this. "Sometimes it's hard to distinguish the present from the past."

"I understand, Marcus." Valorum got back to his feet. "And now I want to check your ribs and wrist. If the results are satisfactory you can do without the bandages. After the examination I want you to rest."

Marcus gave in gracefully, knowing better than to defy the old healer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Marcus?" Jana waited for Marcus' permission to approach him. "I am sorry to disturb you when you are resting, but..."

Marcus signaled the young Minbari to come closer. Valorum had removed his bandages and he still felt a little apprehensive moving about without their support. "What is it?"

Jana nodded his head. "I just received a message from Barin. He is on his way here and requests your hospitality. He would like to talk to you and spend the night here."

"Barin?" Barin was one of the clan leaders, an elderly Minbari who seemed to like him, but he feared that the kindness was merely an act. "Did you tell him that Neroon isn't here?" Marcus finally got up from the bed and bit his bottom lip when his ribs twitched in his chest. Maybe he still needed those supportive bandages after all.

"Yes, Barin knows that. He requested to talk to you specifically."

"Shouldn't Barin be at that meeting Neroon's attending?"

"No, only Star Riders are required to attend it. I need to send Barin a reply. What do you want me to say?"

Marcus sighed. He couldn't turn Barin away. "Tell him that he's welcome here and that I would like to have dinner with him." He checked Jana's expression, trying to find out if he had given the correct answer. When Jana smiled, Marcus felt relieved. The Minbari left to carry out his orders and Marcus contacted Rom. He told her to prepare guest quarters for Barin and his guards and to make sure dinner included dishes Barin liked. Rom had made lists of all the clan leaders' favorite foods.

After making all necessary arrangements, Marcus leaned back in his chair and longingly looked at his bed. Once his ribs were completely healed, Neroon would probably replace it with a traditional sleeping platform, which would cause him back aches. Oh well, it was a small price to pay. And now Barin was on his way to see him. Why him? Why not Neroon? Feeling apprehensive, he picked up Legs from the floor and patted her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seel's presence this time soothed him instead of making him nervous. Seel had offered to stay close during Barin's visit and he had welcomed the suggestion. "Please don't let me screw up..."

"Marcus?" Seel frowned, hearing Marcus' words. "Is something wrong?"

"No." Marcus hadn't realized he had spoken those words aloud. 'I'm just nervous." Seeing Seel's nod, he cringed. Apparently Seel expected him to be nervous. Even Valorum had offered to join them for dinner, but Marcus had declined, not wanting to appear weak in front of Barin. They grew quiet while Barin's flyer landed. Marcus pulled the robes closer to his body. Although his first reaction had been to dress in a Ranger's uniform, he had changed his mind later. The black robes were way more comfortable and this wasn't a formal visit.

Barin exited the flyer and approached them. "Marcus, Seel..."

Marcus bowed slightly and barely kept back the hiss as his ribs protested. "I welcome you to Neroon's residence."

Barin frowned, but didn't voice his thoughts. Instead he said, "Thank you, Marcus. I look forward to have dinner with you."

Marcus grew pale; something about Barin made him alert. "Please follow me inside." Seel stayed close the entire time, guarding him and Marcus suddenly realized that he was the only human here. It hit him like a wave of icy cold water and he began to tremble. Fortunately they had reached the dinner hall and Barin took his seat opposite him while Seel remained at the doorway. Rom appeared and served an appetizer and tea.

Barin sipped his tea and sighed. "It is good to see you again. You seem to be recovering nicely."

Marcus blushed. "Thank you. Neroon takes good care of me." And where was Neroon now when he needed him? "I was quite surprised when I received your message. Neroon isn't here so if you came to talk to him..."

"No, I am here to see you." Barin sounded firm and determined. "I am here to warn you."

Marcus' hand shook and he quickly placed his glass on the dinner table. "Warn me?" What was this about?

"Sallis is on the loose and reports reached me that he plans to extract his revenge on Neroon and you." Barin carefully studied Marcus. "I do not know who he will target first."

"Neroon," said Marcus, convinced. "Seel, send Neroon a warning. Tell him to be careful."

"Seel, stay. I already informed Neroon and he replied that he would be careful. I am here to offer you my protection if you need it." Marcus' eyes went from shocked to surprised. "Neroon did not ask me to come here and keep you safe, I volunteered. There is a debt of honor between us and I intend to make up for my former cowardice."

"You don't have to stay. Seel is perfectly capable of keeping me safe." Marcus refused to ponder the emotions running through him. Sallis was on the loose and might be headed here! Sallis had tormented him more brutally than Shakiri ever had. Shakiri liked to humiliate him, but Sallis had been the one who had delighted in inflicting physical pain.

"Marcus?" Seel reached out and placed his hand on Marcus' arm. The Ranger jumped back, shaking it off and Seel realized he had to keep his distance. "I will increase the number of guards. We will be very careful."

Marcus absentmindedly nodded his head. Sallis... He hoped Sallis would come for him first. Then Seel could take out Sallis and Neroon would be safe. It didn't matter if he got hurt in the process as long as Neroon was safe!

The rest of the dinner passed in silence. Each man was busy sorting out his thoughts. As the dinner came to an end, Marcus thanked Barin for the warning and then excused himself. Seel followed him to his rooms, but he hardly noticed the Minbari. Once inside his quarters, he contacted Jana. "I want to talk to Neroon."

Jana immediately supplied the connection and Marcus sighed relieved, seeing Neroon's face on screen. "I was worried Sallis had gotten to you."

"Barin told you?" Neroon tried to appear calm, but he desperately wanted to return home. The meeting would end tomorrow, but he wouldn't reach his home for another day and that meant Marcus was alone with his fears.

"Barin's here..."

"He is?" Neroon frowned. "I did not expect him to join you, but I approve of it."

"Neroon, are you all right?" Marcus barely refrained from placing the palm of his hand on the screen in an attempt to make contact with Neroon.

"I am fine. I am quite safe here, surrounded by my clansmen. That is why I suspect Sallis will come for you first. You have to be careful, Marcus. Make sure Seel is close at all times. Where is he now?"

"In the corridor."

"Marcus, you need to let him inside otherwise he cannot guard you properly." Something in Marcus' eyes alerted him and he recalled what Valorum had told him. "I am sorry that his presence brought back unpleasant memories, but you need to allow him close."

Marcus wasn't surprised that Valorum had informed Neroon, it was the healer's duty to update his caste leader. "He reminds me of Sallis..."

"But his duty is to guard you. Give him the opportunity to carry out his task."

Marcus nodded. "I'll let him in after we terminated the call."

"How are you doing, Marcus? I am sorry I cannot be with you."

"I miss you..." Marcus straightened out his shoulders. "So what about Brid? Do you like her?"

"Yes, she will make a good mate for my son and the clan has approved of the wedding."

"When will the ceremony take place?" He would like to attend it.

"In one week." Brid was pregnant and Minbari custom required they married as quickly as possible. "Marcus, be careful and trust in Seel."

"I will..." Marcus wanted to add something, but a Minbari walked up to Neroon, blocking his view.

"Marcus, I have to end our conversation. I will contact you tomorrow before I leave for home."

"Neroon... I love you..."

Neroon smiled. "I love you as well."

Marcus terminated his call and remembered his promise. "Seel?" The Minbari stepped inside, obviously puzzled. "I talked to Neroon and he thinks Sallis might be headed here first. He wants you to stay close to me and..."

"Yes?"

"You may stay here. You can't guard me efficiently when standing in the corridor."

"I won't bother you, Marcus. You won't even notice I am here."

"I doubt that..." Marcus disappeared into the bathroom to change his clothes for the night. Tomorrow he would indulge himself in a long, hot shower. He was too tried to do that now. Stepping out of the bathroom, he found Seel talking to Jana. Ignoring them, he headed for the bed, where Legs had already curled up.

"Marcus, before you retire for the night..." Seel hurried toward Marcus and Jana left the room. "Keep this close, just in case." Marcus wondered what Seel was placing into his hand. It's a pike... but it's not mine. This cylinder is decorated with the sign of the Star Riders. I don't even know if I can wield it. My wrist still isn't a hundred percent and my ribs... Not wanting to appear ungrateful, he whispered a thank you. Slipping beneath the blankets, he tried to forget that Seel would be inside his quarters for the rest of the night. He pulled Legs close and she nestled in the crook of his arm purring pleased. Sleep came quicker than he had expected.

Seel stood guard over the sleeping Ranger, determined to take out Sallis should the Wind Sword dare to attack Marcus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus' eyes suddenly flashed open as a hand covered his mouth. What? Startled, his eyes quickly adapted to the darkness and he identified the Minbari towering over him.No, it can't be Sallis! Seel would stop him! But there was no denying that it was Sallis who was silencing him. He struggled, tried to kick off the covers and escape Sallis' hold, but the Minbari was so much stronger! Sallis' other hand gained a vice-like grip on his throat, slowly suffocating him. No, I refuse to die! I don't want to die like this! The closed pike was still in his hand and Sallis had made the mistake not to restrain his wrists. Raising his hand, he pressed the hidden mechanism which opened the pike. One end hit Sallis hard in his chest and sent him onto the floor.

Ignoring the pain in his chest and wrist, Marcus jumped to his feet and increased the distance between him and his attacker. He registered Seel's fallen body near the doorway, and a small pool of blood was forming beneath him. Sallis must have taken him by surprise. How am I supposed to take him out? I can't even fight properly. His only chance was reaching the doorway and fleeing into the corridor to find help, but Sallis blocked his escape route.

"First, I will take out you and then Neroon. He is the worst traitor. He killed another Minbari! Killed Shakiri over you!" Sallis' eyes flashed dangerously in the dark. "I will make sure you suffer before releasing your last breath."

Marcus didn't have the time to worry or to feel scared. He had to save himself! Sallis attacked and he awkwardly managed to block. Sallis had moved away from the doorway and Marcus realized this might be his only chance. Running away from Sallis, he reached the door and opened it. Suddenly, Sallis threw his pike like a spear and it hit him in the back, toppling him over and sending him face first to the floor.

"Bloody hell! I need some help in here!" Marcus heard Seel moan and saw that the warrior was trying to get back to his feet.

"Stay down, damn it! You're injured!" He couldn't protect Seel if Sallis decided to take him out first!

Suddenly, footfalls echoed in the corridor and Marcus hoped someone had heard his cry for help. Looking over his shoulder, he found that Sallis was still advancing on him. Sallis picked up his pike and aimed the butt end, ready to deliver a lethal blow. Marcus lacked the strength to react and closed his eyes, realizing resisting wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Stop it." Barin's calm voice filled the corridor. His pike caught the blow Sallis aimed at Marcus' head. "I said stop it!"

"No." Sallis shook his head. "He must die."

"I will stop you."

"You are an old man," Sallis sneered. "Leave."

Marcus had managed to catch his breath and found that Seel was sneaking up behind Sallis. Lying on the floor, there was not much he could do and his back hurt like hell.

Seel and Barin exchanged a glance and carried out an attack at the same time. Barin landed a blow to Sallis' head, knocking him unconscious. "Not bad for an old man," cracked Barin.

Now that Sallis was unconscious, Seel quickly contacted his guards and then slid down the wall, leaving a bloody trail behind on the bricks.

Marcus scrambled to his feet and made his way over to Seel, ignoring the burning pain in his lower back. Jana was the first to reach them and Marcus yelled at him. "We need Valorum... And take Sallis away. Make sure he can't escape. Don't stand there, move!"

Jana sprung in to action, carrying out Marcus' orders. Barin moved over to Marcus while one of the arrived guards monitored Sallis. "Marcus, how badly injured are you?"

"I'm all right. You should worry about Seel instead of me!" Seel was bleeding and he only had a back ache!

Valorum quickly arrived and directed his healers to take care of Seel while he personally looked after Marcus. The guards arrested Sallis and took him away. Barin still stood protectively over Marcus, making sure no one would hurt the Ranger.

"Seel will be just fine," said Valorum, trying to reassure Marcus. "Minbari tend to heal quickly." His healers carried Seel to the medical facility to examine him further. "Now let me have a look at you." Valorum waited for Marcus to sit down on the floor and then checked the Ranger's vital signs. "Did Sallis hurt you?"

"My back, but... I can deal with it."

"Lean against me," instructed Valorum while running a medical scanner along Marcus' back. "You managed to break one rib, Marcus and there's severe bruising."

Marcus felt vulnerable, leaning against Valorum like this and tried to get back to his feet. However, a wave of vertigo hit him, and nearly made him throw up dinner.

"Barin, help me. Marcus needs to go to the medical facility." Valorum worried about the new injury.

Barin wrapped one arm around Marcus and together they managed to pull Marcus to his feet.

"How did he get inside?" Marcus' brow grew knitted. "He managed to take out Seel..."

"I will find out," promised Barin. "But you need to rest now. Let us worry and rest instead."

Marcus allowed them to take him to the medical facility. Several healers were fussing over Seel and his worries increased. "How bad is he?"

"He suffered a punctured lung," said Jalai, "but he will recover in time." The young healer concentrated on treating Seel's injuries.

Valorum steered Marcus to a private exam room where he helped the Ranger lie down. "I need to examine you more closely."

Marcus closed his eyes and let Valorum run his tests. The adrenaline was wearing off, causing him to faint.

"I will inform Neroon," offered Barin. "He is probably worried."

Valorum nodded his head. "Reassure Neroon. I will tend to Marcus' injuries."

Barin left the medical facility and contacted Neroon. The other man's features were worried, seeing who was contacting him.

"Barin?"

"Neroon, I am afraid that I have some bad news for you."

"Did something happen to Marcus?" Neroon shifted in his chair. Damn this meeting! He should have been at Marcus' side to protect his mate!

"Sallis found a way inside and attacked him, but Marcus bravely fought him. Sallis is in our custody and Marcus merely suffered a broken rib."

Neroon sighed relieved. "Thank Valen."

"Seel however suffered a punctured lung and probably needs surgery."

Neroon gravely nodded his head. "I want to know how Sallis managed to get to Marcus."

"I will look in to it. Do you want me to stay until you return?"

"Yes." Neroon nodded once. "I will arrive late this evening. Stay with Marcus if you can."

"I will," promised Barin. "Marcus is safe now."

"I hope so."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus woke several hours later and flinched, realizing he was back at the medical facility. Looking about, he realized that he was alone and swung his feet onto the floor. Ouch, that hurt... Damn, the bandages around his ribcage were back! Now his memories returned as well. Sallis had tried to kill him and Seel had gotten injured in the process. Wrapping his arms around his waist, he stumbled out of the room. A guard immediately joined him and Marcus realized he had been monitored the entire time. "How is Seel?"

Valorum nodded his head. "Already recovering. Do you wish to see him?"

"I don't want to disturb him."

"Seel is asleep. If you are quiet you won't wake him." Valorum guided Marcus to Seel's room.

Marcus sighed, seeing Seel sound asleep. "He will make a complete recovery?"

"Yes."

Marcus leaned against the wall. "Can I return to my quarters now?"

"No, they are being cleaned."

Of course, they had to remove Seel's blood. "Is there anywhere else I can stay?"

"Yes, here, until Neroon returns."

"And what about Legs?"

"Rom is taking care of the Gok." Valorum gently guided Marcus back to the exam room. "Lie down and sleep. The next time you wake up Neroon will be here."

Valorum's advice was tempting and he closed his eyes. "Thank you... And I should thank Barin as well."

Valorum smiled. "You will get your chance to talk to Barin later, now rest."

Marcus drifted off into sleep, dreaming of Neroon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where is he?" Neroon marched in to the medical facility. Jana had met him at the landing site and had informed him that Marcus was still at the medical facility.

Valorum hurried to meet Neroon. "Marcus is resting and I do not want you to wake him!"

Neroon halted in his tracks and calmed down. "I need to see him."

"Of course." Valorum opened the door and Neroon stepped inside.

"Marcus..." Neroon pulled up a chair and sat down at his mate's side. Part of the Ranger's chest was exposed and bruises had begun to form on the smooth skin. "I should never have left without you." But Marcus remained asleep, unable to give Neroon the absolution he craved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Marcus finally opened his eyes, he immediately noticed the weight on his thigh. It was Neroon's head; the Minbari had fallen asleep while resting his head on his leg, careful not to put pressure on his bruises. "You're back..."

Marcus' words woke Neroon and his eyes dashed open. "Marcus..." He sat upright and drew in a deep breath. "I was so worried about you."

"I'm all right, except for the broken rib. Why do people always target my ribs? I’ve got other body parts as well!" Marcus tried to sound unconcerned and he did feel better now that Neroon was back at his side. "This means we get to keep the bed a little longer?"

"If that is what you want." Neroon frowned. Why would Marcus' first thought be about their bed? He would figure it out later. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. I always wonder if Valorum doesn't slip me sleeping meds when I'm in here. When can I leave?"

"Once you are rested... in a few hours. I need to check on our rooms first."

"How is Seel?"

"Already on his feet again. He feels rather guilty for letting Sallis get to you."

Marcus smiled saddened. "Tell him that he shouldn't feel guilty. Sallis probably surprised him." Growing uncomfortable discussing Sallis, he changed their topic. "Tell me more about Brid and the wedding. Where and when will it take place?"

"Here and in one week." Neroon smiled, seeing Marcus' pleased expression. "Yes, you can attend, even more, you are required to attend as my mate."

Marcus nodded his head. "I hope they'll be happy..."

Neroon almost told Marcus that Brid was pregnant, but decided to wait for a better opportunity when his mate wasn't hurting this much. He had no idea how Marcus would react to that news, and he wasn't looking forward to finding out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone was busy preparing for the wedding ceremony that would be conducted here tonight. Nasdak and Brid were supposed to arrive within the hour and he still had to tell Marcus that she was pregnant. He just hadn't found a way yet to bring it up, but now he was running out of time.

Marcus sat on the balcony, nursing his tea and stroking Legs' fur. The Gok purred, pleased by all the attention she was getting. Neroon sat down beside his mate and admired the sunset as well.

"Everything should be ready for Nasdak and Brid. Rom prepared rooms for them and the guests, and made an excellent dish for dinner. Seel assured me security is at maximum and the priest who will perform the ceremony arrived as well."

Neroon nodded, pleased. After his return he had asked Marcus to continue to care for his household and the Ranger had finally gotten comfortable with being in charge. That gave him more time to attend to caste matters. "Marcus, you did an excellent job." Marcus blushed and Neroon still felt amazed at finding out how vulnerable his mate was at times. A mere compliment made Marcus blush!

"Thank you. I hope the bride and groom will like everything as well." Marcus looked up and smiled at Neroon. Raising his hand, he gently caressed Neroon's face.

Neroon swallowed hard. "I need to tell you something."

Marcus' hand dropped. "What?"

"It is about Brid." Neroon wished he knew what Marcus' reaction would be like. No matter what happened, he would be there for his mate. "She is pregnant."

Marcus closed his eyes. I should have expected something like that. Glancing at Neroon's expression, he found unease in the dark eyes. "Then I should congratulate her when I meet her."

"Marcus? They will take up residence in Rathor..."

"They won't live here?" He hadn't known that.

"I was not sure if you could deal with... with seeing her pregnant after... after your miscarriage." Neroon hardly ever stumbled over his words, but he felt nervous now.

"I understand..." Marcus' tone was emotionless. "I hope she will enjoy her pregnancy and give birth to a healthy child. Nasdak's a very lucky man."

"Marcus..."

"No," said Marcus, raising his hand to stop Neroon. "Don't say it. Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault I lost my child."

"Neroon? Marcus?" Jana shuffled inside, regretting interrupting when there were tears in Marcus' eyes. "Nasdak and Brid just arrived."

"Thank you," said Neroon, while getting to his feet. "Marcus, do you need a moment or...?"

"I'll accompany you. Jana, would you keep an eye on Legs?"

Jana nodded his head. "Yes."

Marcus and Neroon left their quarters and headed for the great hall where the ceremony would take place. Marcus felt empty inside, like his emotions had been erased from his mind. Brid was pregnant, and would be a mother soon, Nasdak a father... Don't do this to yourself! Focus on their happiness, not on your misery. You lost your son... be happy for them that they get this chance to experience parenthood. But a gloomy darkness moved throughout his soul, spreading pain and sorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nasdak and Brid were inspecting the hall and finding it to their liking. Several guests swarmed around them, offering congratulations. Nasdak searched the crowd and finally discovered Neroon and Marcus. "They are here." He exchanged a look with Brid. Although he hadn't asked his father's permission, he had told Brid bits and pieces of what had happened to Marcus.

Brid felt nervous. She had met Neroon before, had talked to him in depth and he had approved of their wedding, but she had never met Marcus. Once she met the Ranger's green eyes, she sensed the pain and loss in them. Losing a child would be hard on anyone, no matter what gender they were. She bowed respectfully and felt Marcus' eyes on her abdomen. She didn't show yet, but it was obvious that Marcus knew she was pregnant.

Nasdak addressed them, breaking the silence. "Father, Marcus, this is Brid."

Neroon inclined his head and Marcus felt at a loss. What was he supposed to say or do? "I hope you'll have a great day." It sounded stupid and he chided himself for speaking up without thinking it over.

"The hall looks perfect," said Brid, surprised to find Marcus this nervous. "We are honored that you will attend the ceremony."

Marcus instinctively liked her, but her pregnancy made him wary. He didn't want to grow attached to her; he wasn't ready yet to face his past, the child he had lost. She didn't need him around, spreading depression and he took a step back. "You're marrying Neroon's son, I hope you know he can be stubborn, just like his father." He was babbling, speaking nonsense and he just had to get away from her.

"We need to prepare as well, change our clothes." Neroon had registered Marcus' discomfort and steered him toward the exit. "We will join you when the ceremony starts."

Brid stared at them until they had vanished from sight. "I like Marcus."

"And I am sure he likes you." Nasdak held her hand, gently stroking her skin. "But he is still recovering from losing his child."

Brid nodded her head. "I cannot imagine losing our son, Nasdak. My heart goes out to him."

Nasdak gently squeezed her hand. "Give him time..."

Brid frowned. "He needs more than time, he needs love."

"My father loves him..."

Brid had seen the affection in Neroon's dark eyes. "Maybe when the time is right, Marcus will find the courage to try again?"

Nasdak shook his head. "I cannot imagine Marcus going through pregnancy again. He has been hurt too deeply..."

Brid remained quiet, wrapped an arm around her waist and cherished the new life growing inside her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During the ceremony Neroon kept an arm wrapped around Marcus' waist. It was custom for all guests to remain standing throughout the ceremony, but the broken rib made things painful for Marcus. "Lean against me."

Marcus did. He hated feeling this weak, but his body didn't allow him a choice. Leaning against Neroon, he watched the ceremony with a smile on his face. "They look happy." He flashed back to his own 'wedding ceremony' when Shakiri had demanded his complete submission. Nasdak and Brid exchanged looks, caresses and would speak their vows in a few moments.

Neroon wondered about the tone of Marcus' voice and then his thoughts went in the same direction as his lover's. He had witnessed Shakiri accepting a docile Marcus as his mate and then dismissing him. And I never bothered with vows or ceremony myself. Holding him in my arms was more important than speaking the official words.

"Neroon?" Marcus had felt Neroon tense up against him and tried to catch his lover's gaze. "Is something wrong?" Brid began speaking her vow and he grew quiet, not wanting to miss the moment.

Neroon quickly reached a decision. He whispered the words into Marcus' ear, making sure only his lover heard them. "I love you, Marcus. I will cherish, love, respect and protect you until death parts us. My heart and my Den'bok are yours to command. I will never desert you. My heart belongs to you. Please accept my love and keep it safe."

Marcus' eyes widened, looking at Neroon. "What?" A moment later, Nasdak spoke the same words to Brid and Marcus' eyes filled with tears. Neroon had just officially made him his mate in the only way that really counted to him, by pledging himself to him. "Oh, Neroon, I don't know what to say..." At a loss, he stared in to Neroon's draped eyes.

"Then do not say a thing right now... I owed you that. I took you as my mate without ever pledging myself to you." Neroon watched Nasdak and Brid closely. "I think you are right. They will be happy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nasdak and Brid left for Rathor the next morning. Saying goodbye had been a rather emotional affair. Marcus really hated to see them go, and would have liked them to stay a little longer, but he understand that the newly married couple wanted some time alone. Neroon had hugged his son and daughter and had walked them to the flyer.

Marcus sighed, watching the flyer disappear from view. Neroon hugged him close and he rested his head on Neroon's shoulder. "Now it's just me and you."

"Yes, at last," sighed Neroon, pleased. "Do not forget that you have to check in with Valorum so he can examine your ribs."

"I am getting so tired of that. Why my ribs? You targeted my ribs, Sallis did... twice and... By the way, what happened to Sallis?"

"I handed him over to Weyr and he promised to punish Sallis. The warrior council will probably banish Sallis for (life)."

"So Sallis won't be back?"

"No." Neroon smiled and kissed his lover. "Let us go inside now. You need to see Valorum and I need to talk to Jana."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous before and he knew Neroon probably felt even worse. "You are a grandfather now," teased Marcus. "Doesn't that make you feel old?" Brid had given birth to a boy this morning and they had immediately traveled to Rathor to congratulate the parents. Pacing the hall, they waited for Nasdak to greet them. Although he felt extremely apprehensive about seeing the baby, he had let Neroon convince him to come along and share their joy. He still felt like an outsider and that would probably remain so, being the only human in this family.

"Neroon?" Neroon was staring at him and Marcus ginned. "You're spacing out on me!" He had learned a lot about Neroon during the nine months that they had been living together at the Minbari's estate. At times, it was hard to believe that he had been Shakiri's prisoner once. But he carried the scars on his body and in his mind and they were a constant reminder of what had happened to him.

Amused, Marcus looked at Neroon, who was aggressively pacing the hall. "I'm sure Nasdak will be here in a second."

"I want to see my grandchild, see if he is healthy."

Marcus understood. "I'm sure the boy's okay." He wanted to add more reassurances but thankfully Nasdak entered, carrying his son in his arms.

"Father, Marcus, may I present my son to you?"

Marcus tried to keep it together, but when the tiny hands and fingers reached for him, he lost all semblance of control. Staring at the little bundle, his heart contracted, reminded him that his son would have looked like this, if his child had lived. "Excuse me, I can't do this." Embarrassed, he fled the hall, running blindly into a corridor.

"Father?" Nasdak had expected some fierce reaction on Marcus' part, but not that intense.

Neroon looked at his grandson and offered the child his thumb. The baby grabbed it and cooed in pleasure. "Marcus overestimated himself. He has been trying to convince himself that he could do this, but..." Neroon sighed. "You have a precious child in your arms, Nasdak, always cherish him. How is Brid?"

"Resting, but I suspect she will be on her feet again tomorrow. There were no complications."

"I am glad to hear that." Neroon's glance drifted over to the doorway. He should go after Marcus, but the Ranger probably wanted a moment to compose himself. "Did you already decide on a name?"

"Zahar..."

"Ah, my father's name. A good choice," praised Neroon. "You have my blessing." Neroon studied the baby. "He has your eyes."

Nasdak smiled. "Brid made that same remark... Now go after him and stop being civil, father. I know you want to be with Marcus." Nasdak shooed his father out of the hall. "I will tell Brid you visited. Now go take care of Marcus."

Neroon nodded his head. "We probably won't be back."

"That is all right. I have your blessing. Come visit us when Marcus feels up to it."

"Now excuse me. I need to find Marcus." Neroon left the hall in search of his mate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus had found a secluded place in the gardens and collapsed on a bench. His hands were shaking and his eyes filled with tears. He had lost it, had lost his tight reign over his emotions. He had felt edgy and nervous since they had left for Rathor, and he had feared something like this would happen. When he had seen the little baby, cooing and smiling it had been his undoing and he had run.

"Marcus?" Neroon sat down beside him, but didn't offer Marcus any physical comfort yet. Marcus had to take the initiative.

"I'm sorry," apologized Marcus. "I don't know what came over me."

"I think you know very well what happened. Seeing their son reminded you of the one you lost."

"I couldn't help wondering..." Marcus raised swimming eyes and met Neroon's. "What would it have been like if my son had lived? I would have held him in my arms like Nasdak held his son. I could have rocked him, held him, raised him and now... I have nothing..." He cringed. "I didn't mean that... I have you..."

Neroon slowly folded an arm around Marcus. "If you had the choice... Would you try again?"

Marcus frowned. "I don't understand."

"Would you try having another child? My child?"

Marcus sobbed softly, finally realizing what Neroon was hinting at. "I don't think I can. I can't go another pregnancy, knowing... knowing..."

"Knowing what?" Neroon gently rocked him, but never lost eye contact. Marcus was hiding something that really hurt him.

"That I don't have a say in the matter. According to the contract the child would be yours. If you ever got tired of me, I'd never see my child again..." Marcus wiped away his tears and tried to regain his composure. "It's stupid really."

Neroon seethed. The contract. It always returned to haunt him or Marcus. "Marcus, I had the text changed."

"Uh, what?" Confused, Marcus frowned.

"I forced Delenn to accept some changes. You are no longer the caste leader's mate, but mine. I could not bear the thought of ever losing you, or you having to submit to someone else in case I died."

"You did what?" Marcus trembled, the remaining tears drying on his face.

"And about the child... If we ever decide to have a child I want that section deleted from the contract." Neroon's passion made him talkative. "Marcus, are you seriously telling me you want a child? My child?"

"I was afraid to bring it up," confessed Marcus. "But yes. The pregnancy itself wasn't that bad. I didn't even suffer from morning sickness. If it hadn't been for Shakiri and Sallis I would have enjoyed being pregnant."

"Then we should discuss this with Valorum. I am fairly sure that creating an embryo with our DNA won't be a problem."

Marcus blinked. "Neroon, are you serious? You told me you already had an heir and that you felt too old to become a parent again."

"I am sure, Marcus. And yes, I do feel old, but I want to give you this. I have the feeling that you wanted a child since you started to feel secure in our relationship, a few months back. Am I right?"

"Yes, but..." Marcus shook his head. "I can't believe you want to have a child with me!" Then something Neroon had said registered. "Our DNA? You would let me contribute? I'd understand if you want to keep your blood line pure..."

Neroon cringed. "Your DNA will enrich it. I am not Shakiri. I do not feel like you would contaminate my blood line." Marcus pressed closer to him; it was getting cold. "Are you up to seeing Nasdak, Brid and the baby?"

"Honestly?" Marcus sought out Neroon's eyes.

"No." Neroon read the answer in the green eyes. He would suffer another breakdown. We will head home and talk to Valorum.

Marcus felt relieved when Neroon announced his decision to go home. "I'm truly sorry, Neroon. I screwed up again. I know how badly you wanted to see your grandson."

"I saw him, Marcus, and he is perfectly healthy." Neroon carefully chose his next words. "And our child will be healthy as well."

Marcus lowered his eyes and sighed. "Our son... I want that..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Marcus, Neroon, I am honored that you would visit an old man like me," said Valorum. "Please sit down." Something was troubling them, why else seek him out? Valorum offered them some tea and sipped his own. "How can I be of service?"

Neroon exchanged a glance with Marcus. They had agreed that he would do the talking. "We decided that the time is right to have a child."

Valorum chided himself for not seeing this coming. "A child?"

"Yes." Neroon caressed the skin of Marcus' hand. "We carefully thought everything over and reached the conclusion that we are ready to have a child."

Valorum didn't look too pleased. "Marcus, is this not too early? Only nine months have passed since you had a miscarriage. Maybe it would be wise to wait."

Marcus shook his head. "I want a second chance."

Valorum gave in. "You made up your mind..."

"Yes, we did. We want you to create the embryo from our DNA material and to supervise Marcus' pregnancy." Neroon smiled at Marcus. Yes, they were doing the right thing. Marcus was right; he deserved a second chance.

Valorum nearly choked on the tea he was sipping. "What? Neroon..."

"What is it?" Neroon leaned forward and tried to read Valorum's expression.

"Marcus cannot carry another child. The fall did too much damage and the trauma was extensive."

Marcus closed his eyes. "No..." No, this couldn't be happening. "This isn't fair."

"Marcus, the fall caused a lot of damage. You would suffer another miscarriage within the first two weeks of your pregnancy."

Valorum hated being blunt, but Marcus had to understand. "I am sorry."

Marcus fought his tears and stared at Neroon's fingers, clasping his hand. "Then that's it. No more children." He would never hold his child in his arms. He'd had one chance and messed it up.

"No, wait." Neroon raised a hand, attracting Valorum's attention. "Are you absolutely sure Marcus cannot carry a child to term?"

"Yes." Valorum wished he had better news for them, but it was the truth. "It is impossible."

"Neroon, let it go. It's all right. I don't need..."

"No, you deserve that second chance." Neroon firmly held his lover's stare. "I will carry our child."

"You?" whispered Valorum and Marcus simultaneously.

"Why are you staring at me like that? I can carry a child." Neroon felt indignant that they doubted his words. "I would need to take leave of absence for two months, but Marcus can take my place, acting as my replacement. The caste will still have guidance... What?"

"Neroon, you can't be serious!" Marcus wasn't sure whether he should be crying or laughing. "You? Pregnant? Never!"

"I must concur with Marcus.." Valorum shook his head.

Neroon grabbed Marcus and forced the Ranger to take him serious. "Minbari males are perfectly capable of carrying a child full term. Why do you doubt I can do that as well?"

"Because you're caste leader, Neroon. You are a warrior!" Marcus gasped. "Shakiri told me that..." Suddenly he covered his mouth with his hand. No, he wasn't ever going to repeat that man's words.

"What?" Neroon glared at his lover. "What did the bastard say?"

"That... that..." Marcus bowed his head. "I can't say it."

Neroon relented. "You will tell me one day. Valorum, I want you to examine our DNA. I want the child to be human and Minbari!"

"A halfbreed?" Marcus shuddered. "Do you know how they will treat him?"

"Him? Valorum, I want a son." Marcus had given himself away. "And our son will be treated respectfully. Times are changing, Marcus."

Marcus stared at Neroon in disbelief. "I can't let you do this."

"Why not?" Neroon sighed. "Marcus, we want a child and you cannot deal with another pregnancy. Let me do this."

Marcus suddenly burst out in to tears. "I want this, but..."

"No more buts, Marcus. We will do this. We will have our son and love and raise him. Yes?" Neroon pleadingly looked at his mate.

"Yes..." whispered Marcus, brokenly. "Yes... I want that... I want a son and... I want you."

Neroon opened his arms and caught Marcus in them. "Valorum, you have your orders. Carry them out."

The healer nodded. "I will keep you informed of the results."

"Come with me, Marcus." Neroon pulled Marcus to his feet and guided him back to their quarters. "Do you want this? Really want this?"

"Yes, but it's not fair that you have to go through this!"

"Fair, life is not fair Marcus, and I can deal with the pregnancy..." Neroon held his lover close. "We will do this together."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus had finally fallen asleep in his arms after tossing and turning for nearly an hour. Neroon cursed privately; he should have talked to Valorum in private first! He was comfortable with the idea of carrying their child, but he had seen the shock in Marcus' eyes when the Ranger had realized that he wouldn't be the one to carry their son. Marcus' world had collapsed until he had offered to take his place. He wouldn't forget the disbelief in those eyes as long as he lived.

But things could work out. Minbari didn't experience any discomfort for the first six months and only started to add weight in the last two months. He would have to hand over leadership of the caste to Marcus for two months and his lover needed training to take his place, but the caste would accept his mate as a temporary replacement. Barin and Uyi could assist Marcus during those two months.

Sighing, he remembered seeing his late wife through pregnancy. When Nasdak had been born, he had been there, holding her hand. And she had been in pain, but had refused any pain killers. He still missed her at times.

But I have Marcus now and I love him with all my heart. Tomorrow he would talk some more to Valorum and find out what would happen next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I studied your DNA and Marcus'," said Valorum, showing Neroon several DNA strands on screen. Minbari technology was very advanced and creating an embryo was standard procedure even if the mates were male and female. "You want the child to have Minbari and human features? Are you sure about that?"

"Yes." Neroon drew in a deep breath. Maybe he should have talked this over with Marcus first, but his mate was too emotional right now. "I want the child to have dark hair and green eyes, like Marcus has."

"That should be doable." Valorum studied the DNA strands. "Any more human characteristics?"

Neroon shook his head. "Can you show me a holographic representation of my son? I want to know what he will look like."

Valorum entered the necessary data. "Look."

Entranced, Neroon stared at the hologram of a young boy which dark hair and beneath it a bone crest. The eyes were open and feline, green eyes stared back at him. "He is perfect."

Valorum smiled, pleased. "I thought you would like him. Do you want Marcus to see him as well?"

"No," whispered Neroon. "If something happened to the child, knowing how he would have looked like would only add to his pain."

"Do you want me to do this now?" Valorum presented a syringe to Neroon. "I can inject this now and you will come in again in one month when I need to create a skin fold for the embryo to develop in."

Neroon raised his shirt. "Do it."

Valorum wanted to remind Neroon that Marcus had a right to be present, but seeing Neroon's expression, he didn't pressure him. Gently the needle slid beneath the skin of Neroon's abdomen. "It is done."

Neroon grinned. "I do not feel any different."

Valorum shook his head. "Of course not! It will take the embryo a month to settle down. Now go and tell Marcus the good news."

Neroon hurried back to his rooms and found Marcus in the bathroom taking a shower. He quickly shed his clothes and joined his lover.

"Neroon?" Marcus tried to identify the form in front of him, but he had gotten shampoo in his eyes and everything was blurry.

"Yes, it is I." Neroon rinsed Marcus' eyes and kissed him hard.

Neroon's passion surprised Marcus. During the last few months, their lovemaking had been tender and lazy and he sometimes wished Neroon would be a little more forceful. It was his little, private fantasy, but he had never confided in Neroon. "What are you doing?"

Hungrily, Neroon stared at him. "Yes?"

Marcus understood at once. "You want to make love? Here?" Tempting... "Yes." Neroon squeezed his buttocks and teased his cleft. "Oh, that's the way we're going to play it?" He chuckled. He was already hard and eager. "Oil?"

"I brought it with me." Neroon opened his hand and showed Marcus the flask. "I need you... I crave you..."

"You have me." Marcus quickly grabbed on to Neroon when the Minbari lifted him, sliding his back against the wall. He wrapped his arms around Neroon's neck, holding on. They hadn't made love in this position before and he wondered if if would make a difference.

Neroon quickly rubbed the oil on to his cock and positioned himself at his lover's entrance. "Wrap your legs around me."

Marcus obeyed and held on to Neroon for dear life. He bit the Minbari's shoulder hard when Neroon entered him. White pain/pleasure flashed through him and he threw back his head, uttering a helpless yelp. "Oh... Neroon!"

Neroon's hands cradled his lover's buttocks, kneading them and his thrusts grew hard and frantic. "I want all of you..."

Marcus felt dizzy as Neroon continued to brush his prostate. Making love had never been this intense! Neroon pushed him against the wall, offering him the support and he leaned against the tiles. Neroon's thrusts became faster and he yelped softly, coming hard.

Marcus' muscle contracted around him and usually it was enough to push him over the edge, but not this time. Going down on his knees, he gently laid Marcus on the floor and continued the erratic rhythm. Marcus' eyes had grown big and his lover mumbled incoherently. Finally, after burying himself to the hilt, he climaxed, grunting and biting Marcus.

Marcus stared at the ceiling, clinging to Neroon. His insides filled with his lover's come and Neroon remained hard. "Neroon, what?" What was causing Neroon's odd behavior?

Neroon grinned. "You are going to be a father in eight months, Marcus..."

Marcus was speechless. "Wha..."

"I am pregnant..." Neroon silenced him by claiming his lips. Still hard, he set up a gentle rhythm, manipulating Marcus' cock until the Ranger was hard again. "No more words," chided Neroon as Marcus tried to speak. "Let us cherish this moment... We are creating new life here..." While engaging Marcus' tongue in a duel, he thrust gently, stroking his lover's cock as well.

Marcus was boneless, spent and yet Neroon continued to make love to him. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the sensations washing over him. Seconds became minutes and their lovemaking continued. Oh, he was going to be sore for the next few days, but he didn't mind. This was intense!

When they finally came, they came together. Spent, Neroon pulled out and rolled his lover on top of him. Hugging him close, he stared into big green eyes. "I love you and I will love our son."

"Oh, Neroon..." Marcus was lost for words. He kissed Neroon's lips and rested his head on the Minbari's chest. His hand moved to Neroon's abdomen and found the tiny wound the needle had left behind. "I can't believe you're doing this for me."

"For us, beloved, for us." Neroon tucked Marcus' head beneath his chin and imprinted this moment in time so it would stay with him forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus studied Neroon closely as the Minbari sat reading his reports. Although Neroon was officially pregnant, the Minbari acted 'normal'. Marcus vividly remembered his own panic when he had realized what Shakiri had done to him and for the first few weeks he had felt like the embryo was a hostile intruder, a parasite. Neroon however, paid his pregnancy hardly any attention. The Minbari didn't have morning sickness and seemed to function as always. Marcus felt a little disappointed and envious.

"What are you thinking of?" Neroon put down the reports and met his lover's gaze. Marcus had been strangely quiet these last few weeks and he felt a little worried that getting pregnant might have been the wrong thing to do. Maybe they should have waited.

"You seem so bloody at ease with the whole situation."

Neroon frowned. "Situation?"

"Being pregnant." Marcus shrugged apologetically. "I lived in a constant panic for the first four months. In the end I accepted my condition and even started to look forward to holding my son until I realized that Shakiri would never let me hold him."

Neroon rose from his chair and walked over to Marcus, joining his lover in front of the window. Standing behind Marcus, Neroon wrapped his arms around him. "I will never keep you away from our son."

"Can I ask you something?" Trembling, Marcus leaned against Neroon, craving the close contact.

"Anything," breathed Neroon. "What do you want to know?"

"I... You..." Marcus lost his courage before he managed to ask his question. Neroon had consulted Valorum on his own, making all the decisions and although he looked forward to having a son with Neroon, he also felt apprehensive. He tried again. "You told me that our son would have human and Minbari characteristics..."

"Ah, you want to know how he will look like?"

"Kind of..."

Neroon smiled against the dark locks. "He will have green eyes and dark hair... but my temper."

Marcus chuckled in spite of his nervousness. "Your temper? Valen help me!"

Neroon relaxed now that his mate felt more confident. "Our son will be born in seven months..." Minbari pregnancy generally lasted eight months, sometimes even shorter.

"When will you start to show?" Marcus turned around and placed his right hand on Neroon's abdomen. "I still can't believe you're having our child." Neroon's move had utterly shocked him. He just couldn't imagine Neroon, a proud warrior, being pregnant.

"Two more months... Valorum will give me hormone injections by then and I might act slightly out of character."

Marcus blinked. "In what way?"

Neroon hesitated. "I might become aggressive, or extremely aroused... It is unpredictable."

"Aggressive?" Marcus quickly lowered his eyes. He didn't want to think about that possibility.

"It can happen," admitted Neroon. "But there will always be guards near and I suspect Seel will keep a close eye on you. He still feels like he owes you."

"Neroon?" Marcus looked the Minbari in the eyes. "What will the next months be like? What must I expect?"

Neroon guided Marcus to a window seat and pulled the Ranger close to him, hugging him. "The hormones will upset my balance. Just be prepared for anything. The next two months will be the hardest. And then my hormones will settle down for the following three months. During the last two months I will add considerable weight and you will have to be very patient with me."

"I will always be patient with you," promised Marcus. "When can I feel him?" His fingers caressed Neroon's abdomen through the shirt.

"Another two, maybe three months. You are impatient, my dear."

"Can't help it." Marcus paled. "What if everything goes wrong? What if..." Unable to finish, he fought back tears. What if Neroon had a miscarriage? Would they survive the loss? Would their relationship hold or break in to pieces?

"No dark thoughts," decided Neroon. "You suffered horribly at Shakiri and Sallis' hands. Had they treated you right you would have been stronger and the child might have lived. His death was not your fault."

Marcus moaned softly. "Sometimes, at night when I wake up from a nightmare I blame myself for his death."

"You are not to blame, Marcus. Shakiri used you." Neroon gave Marcus a thoughtful look. "What we share is completely different. We have love, desire and passion. This child is welcome and you will spoil him rotten."

Marcus smiled through the tears that had fled his eyes. "Neroon..." He kissed the Minbari, hard and passionately.

Neroon nodded his head once. "Our son will be loved. He will be happy, do not ever doubt that."

"I love you, you cocky bastard..." teased Marcus. "We're going to have a child, a son..." He gently rubbed Neroon's abdomen. "You're giving me a second chance..."

Neroon smiled, saddened, and tucked Marcus' head beneath his chin. "You were hurt badly in the past, but from now on there will only be pleasure."

Marcus sighed, hearing those words. I was right when I told Delenn that Neroon's the other half of my soul...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus woke to an awful retching sound which emanated from the bathroom. Finding himself alone in bed, he quickly reached the right conclusion. It looked like morning sickness had taken hold of Neroon after all. He quickly lifted Legs and placed her on the mattress and then jumped out of bed, heading for the bathroom.

"Neroon?" Marcus cringed in sympathy, seeing Neroon bowed over the toilet, emptying his stomach. He vividly recalled spending the biggest part of his days like this for the first four months of his pregnancy.

He walked up to Neroon and gently rubbed the Minbari's back. "Is there anything I can do?"

Neroon shook his head, suffering an exhausting round of dry heaves. His stomach was empty, but the gagging reflexes remained.

"It'll pass eventually, Neroon. Just relax and try to breathe through it." Marcus felt helpless, wishing that he was the one having their child instead of Neroon. He wasn't sure the Minbari could deal with the unpleasantries that came with pregnancy.

"I am fine..." Neroon's voice was raw and he reached for some water to rinse his mouth. "Valen, do not let this happen every day."

Marcus cringed. "It might happen during the day as well, not just in the morning. You'd better eat light meals for the next days."

"How did you deal with it?" Neroon thoroughly rinsed his mouth.

Marcus shrugged. "I didn't have a choice. And I only threw up in the morning... I didn't get that much to eat and in the end they were using the feeding tube and kept me sedated."

Neroon sighed. "My discomfort is nothing compared to what you suffered." His insides revolted again and his eyes widened. "No... Not a second time."

Marcus had a hard time hiding his amusement.If Neroon thinks this is bad, he's in for a big surprise. "Are you all right?" He rubbed Neroon's back, wondering how the proud warrior would deal with having morning sickness every day. "You know, you should try to eat something."

"Eat?" Neroon shook his head. "No."

"You can't stop eating because you're nauseous. You have the baby to think of. If you eat breakfast I will give you a backrub tonight."

Neroon's eyes narrowed. "A long backrub?"

"Yes, a long backrub... and maybe a hot bath?"

Neroon cheered up. "Well, your hands are talented. I will try to eat, but I expect an exceptionally long backrub tonight."

"You got it, Neroon." Marcus discretely left the bathroom, giving Neroon some privacy to take his shower. Sitting down on the bed, he realized that his hands shook. My God, Neroon had no idea how lucky he was to be fussed over during his pregnancy. Shakiri and Sallis had beaten him daily and the verbal abuse had almost made him break. He jumped nervously when hands settled on his shoulders. Panting slightly, he looked over his shoulder, finding Neroon standing there, frowning at him.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"I didn't expect you... I thought you were taking a shower."

"I forgot to take some towels with me. Marcus, why did my touch scare you?"

Marcus closed his eyes. "I was remembering... Shakiri... and Sallis, they..."

Neroon opened his arms and hugged him close. "I know the memories are hard to defeat, but you have to look forward, to the future."

Marcus smiled. "I know that... Now go shower and we will have breakfast together. Jana and Rom want me to inspect the food supplies and there are some messages from Uyi and Barin that I have to answer... We can have dinner together if you want."

"I would like that." Neroon kissed Marcus and then retreated back in to the bathroom to gather his thoughts. Marcus' expression had been wild when he had jumped up. It had never been his intention to startle his lover. Damn Shakiri, damn Sallis! Feeling nauseous, his face contracted and he grabbed hold of the sink to steady himself. Would he feel this bad every morning for the next six months? He hoped not. Maybe he had underestimated this pregnancy.

He forced himself to step beneath the shower and once the water cascaded down his body, he began to feel better. Well, it would be a good idea to stop training for the next few months. He didn't want to accidentally hurt the child and he had to be more careful in general. If he suffered a miscarriage, Marcus might never recover from the shock.

After drying his skin, he slipped into his uniform. Hmm, clothes would become a problem as well. Maybe Rom could make him a new wardrobe. He would ask her later. Fully dressed, he marched in to their bedroom. Marcus still looked lost in his memories, but the eyes were clear, assuring him that his mate had control over his feelings. "Are you ready to go?"

Marcus nodded his head. He wasn't hungry at all, but he would eat, knowing how important it was that they both remained healthy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No, this cannot be happening again! This is torture! Worse than what any enemy ever did to me! Neroon clutched the ceramic toilet bowl with his hands, throwing up last night's dinner. He had been relieved when he had been able to go to sleep without being sick, but now his stomach revolted again. Will every morning be like this? No...

Feeling miserable, he drank some water, then realized his mistake as it came straight back. Tears appeared in his eyes as dry heaves tormented his throat. Suddenly, gentle hands rubbed the back of his neck and a cool, wet towel was pressed against his brow. "Oh yes..." The wet coolness felt wonderful.

"I'm so sorry..." whispered Marcus, supporting Neroon as the Minbari threw up the rest of the water. "I should be the one suffering from morning sickness, not you. It was never supposed to be you."

Neroon leaned against the wall and raised his head. The urge to throw up was growing less and he stared at Marcus' draped eyes. "What?"

"I'm sorry I can't have this child... It seems so wrong for you to suffer through this." Marcus barely dared to meet Neroon's eyes. "I..."

"Marcus, listen to me!" Neroon clutched his lover's head, forcing him to meet his stare. "I chose to do this. You did not force me into this. I am facing unpleasant months, but I can deal with that, knowing we will have a son once those months have passed."

"But you were sick yesterday and now you're throwing up again. I know how exhausting that is and..."

Neroon realized that Marcus was close to tears. "You are looking after me. Valorum monitors me closely. Nothing bad will happen to me or the baby."

"I feel so helpless..." admitted Marcus. "I was pregnant, I know what you're going through and I can't do a bloody thing to make you feel better!"

"Marcus, do not do this to us." Neroon saw the hint of hysterics in Marcus' eyes. "You are my mate and you will see me through this. You are strong."

"I'm not... I'm weak..."

Oh Valen, he didn't have the energy to go through this right now. "Marcus, I need some water..." His throat hurt and talking was only making things worse.

"I'm such a bloody egoistic bastard..." Marcus immediately felt guilty for wallowing in self-pity when Neroon needed him. He filled a glass with water and placed it at Neroon's lips. "Sips only, take it slow or you'll throw up again."

Neroon followed Marcus' advice and sipped slowly. He was relieved when he managed to keep the water down. "Six months, Marcus. We can do this."

Marcus swallowed hard. I'll try to be strong for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valorum placed the tip of the needle against Neroon's skin, then pushed it beneath the skin. "During your pregnancy you need a mixture of hormones to help build the placenta and stimulate the fetus' development. I expect you to come in every five days for an injection."

Neroon nodded his head. "Understood." His gaze drifted over to Marcus, who sat frozen beside him, eyes locked on the syringe. "Will I act and feel differently now that you started the hormone injections?"

"Yes, your body will adapt to the alien substance and it might be a violent process. Every Minbari reacts differently." Valorum cleared his throat. "There might be an increased urge to have intercourse, or to avoid intercourse completely." Valorum shrugged his shoulders. "I do not know for sure how you will react, Neroon, but..." He paused to lock eyes with Neroon. "You might also become frustrated and aggressive. Should that happen, call for me at once. As a precaution, I would suggest that your guards stay close."

"Neroon mentioned this to me before," said Marcus. "Do you really think he would attack me?"

Valorum met Marcus' gaze. "The hormones can do strange things to Neroon. He won't be himself for a while. If he attacks you it will be because his system cannot deal with the hormones in his bloodstream at that particular moment. I am merely giving you a warning. I am not saying it will happen."

Neroon disliked seeing the worried expression in Marcus' eyes. "I will order Seel to stay close at all time. When he is resting one of his best men will take over."

Marcus averted his eyes. "We'll manage." But his words lacked conviction.

Neroon shook his head, indicating to Valorum not to probe deeper. They couldn't take away Marcus' insecurities now and would deal with them later. "Anything else?"

"The usual symptoms, Neroon. Food cravings, frequent urination, feeling tired. This will increase toward the end of your pregnancy."

Neroon caught Marcus' hand in his and rubbed the skin. "Five more months, Marcus. We are doing all right."

Marcus found the courage to meet Neroon's gaze. "I love you and I trust you."

"I am not Shakiri, always remember that." Neroon got to his feet, pulling Marcus along with him. Valorum had already run several tests on him and he and the fetus were healthy. "I will check in with you in five days, Valorum."

Valorum nodded once. He would monitor Neroon closely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late at night, Marcus woke, alone on the sleeping platform. He still felt thankful that Neroon had it permanently rigged. The Minbari's side of the platform was filled with pillows, enabling Neroon to sleep vertically, sitting up.

"Neroon? Are you in the bathroom?" Not getting a reply, Marcus pushed back the covers and got to his feet. What if Neroon had fainted and knocked his head in the process? He might be lying on the floor, unconscious. He had fainted himself due to malnutrition and exhaustion while he was Shakiri's prisoner. Neroon might have fainted without having had the chance to warn him!

"Neroon?" He hesitantly entered the bathroom, finding it empty. If Neroon wasn't here, where was he? It wasn't like Neroon to leave during the night without informing him of his destination. After sliding into a robe, Marcus stepped in to the corridor, finding Seel standing guard. The Minbari gave him a curious look. "Seel, do you know where I can find Neroon? Did you see him leave?"

Seel nodded once. "He is in the kitchen."

"The kitchen?" What was Neroon doing in the kitchen in the middle of the night? "Then I'll be heading there too." When he started to walk, Seel followed him. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Neroon feels differently. I have explicit orders to guard you at all times." Seel was determined not to fail again.

Resigned, Marcus gave in. Living with Neroon had taught him how useless it was to argue with a Minbari. They were quite pigheaded. Seel followed him and he tried to ignore the warrior. As he reached the kitchen, he signaled Seel to wait outside. He wasn't giving up his privacy completely. Seel obeyed and Marcus sneaked in to the kitchen.

Neroon stood at the kitchen counter. Next to him were empty plates, which had contained leftovers from dinner. Neroon was still eating and emitted soft, pleased noises whenever he put something into his mouth.

Marcus soundlessly approached Neroon and raised an eyebrow. "Fudge Drops? Neroon! They're sugar bombs!" Neroon had gone through great lengths to import these Earth sweets for him. "Are you binging?" Valorum had mentioned food cravings. Neroon looked startled, trying to swallow the Fudge Drops in his mouth. "Wha..reyoudo..nghere?"

"It's impolite to speak with your mouth full," teased Marcus. "I can't believe you ate the whole package! That's two pounds of Fudge Drops. Neroon, you'll be throwing up all morning!"

Neroon wiped some melting fudge from his lips. Looking caught, he shrugged apologetically. "I could not stop myself. I never craved anything that badly before!"

Marcus smiled gently. "Neroon, you'd better stick to some healthier foods for the next few months." He grabbed a towel and removed the remaining fudge that had settled on Neroon's chin. "Now we're out of fudge."

"Tell Rom to buy more... Larger quantities." Neroon finally felt full. He had been eating for thirty minutes!

"Neroon..." Marcus' voice trailed off, wondering how sweet Neroon would taste right now.

"What?"

"What about a kiss?"

"You just want to lick the fudge from my lips..." But Neroon easily relented, kissing Marcus.

The Ranger moaned softly, encountering several tastes. "What the hell have you been eating?"

"Flarn, fudge... Nata... and something called Butterscotch? You really have an excellent taste concerning food items."

"You ate the Butterscotch as well? Bloody hell..." Marcus shook his head in disbelief. "I'd better tell Rom to stock up on sweets."

"Yes, you do that... Let us go back to bed, I feel tired..."

"Tired? With all that sugar in your blood?" Marcus leaned against his lover, pulling him toward the doorway. "You don't have to come down here at night. You can tell one of the servants to bring you something to eat."

Neroon noticed Seel in the corridor and nodded approvingly. Seel hadn't followed him when he had left the bedroom, but had stayed to guard Marcus. Seel had followed his instructions to the letter. "I did not think of that. I was hungry and the kitchen is close."

They had reached their rooms and Marcus closed the door behind them. "You'd better brush your teeth, Neroon..." The Minbari smelled of fudge and Butterscotch; it was unbelievable that he had managed to eat all that!

Neroon followed up on Marcus' advice and brushed his teeth. Five minutes later, he joined his lover on the sleeping platform. Marcus helped him to get comfortable, kneading and pushing the pillows in the desired position. "Did you have food cravings as well during your pregnancy?" He regretted his words the moment they left his lips. "I am sorry. I spoke without thinking first. You did not have the option to give in to any food cravings." He still remembered seeing Marcus hooked up to the feeding tube.

Marcus ignored any unpleasant memories that tried to get through to him. "I do know that I'm not envious of your food cravings, Neroon. This way you will add a pound a day! You'll add weight all right."

"Will you stop loving me when I am fat?" teased Neroon, while caressing his lover's face.

"I'll never stop loving you, Neroon." Marcus kissed the Minbari and settled down in the embrace, loving the feel of Neroon close to him. "Try to sleep, Neroon. You need the rest. Once morning sickness hits..."

"That is over," stated Neroon pleased. "I have not been sick for the last week."

Marcus smiled. "That's good news. You don't need morning sickness."

Neroon studied Marcus' relaxed eyes before tucking his lover's head beneath his chin, their favorite way of falling asleep. While listening to Marcus' breathing, which told him that his lover was falling asleep, he surrendered to oblivion as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus felt sore. For the last week Neroon's sexual appetite had been insatiable. The Minbari woke him in the morning to make love and tried to gain his attention again before falling asleep again. That meant making love twice a day and he was always on the receiving end. Not that he usually minded, but he hard a hard time sitting these days and was using the ointment he had found in the bathroom when Valorum had decided to take precautions once it was obvious they were together again.

So far he had avoided addressing the issue, realizing Neroon wasn't his usual self and the hormone injections were altering the chemical balance in his brain. Four more months and then things would get back to normal or what passed for normal; they would have a baby by then. If nothing goes wrong...

But if Neroon wanted to make love to him again tonight, he wasn't sure he would give in to the Minbari. He loved Neroon, truly loved him, but his body was telling him to take a break.

"Good morning, Marcus." Valorum entered the study Neroon had assigned to Marcus and sat down in front of the desk, studying the Ranger. Marcus looked pale and exhausted and he grew worried about his charge. Neroon would be furious with him if he missed something important concerning Marcus' health. "You look tired today."

Marcus cringed. He didn't want to tell Valorum what was troubling him as he considered it a private matter, but Valorum was his physician and had ordered to confide in him when something upset him regarding Neroon's pregnancy. In the end, he decided to trust the healer. "You mentioned that the hormones might have side effects..."

"Yes?" Puzzled, Valorum tried to read the expression in Marcus' eyes. Was it embarrassment?

"Neroon, he..." Marcus blushed, feeling ill at ease. "He wants to have sex all the time."

Valorum smiled, knowingly. "Yes, that is one of the side effects I mentioned. Is it a problem?"

"It's becoming one..." Marcus shifted uncomfortably. "I... feel sore. Not even the ointment is taking away the sting anymore."

"I see." Valorum nodded his head. He should have seen this coming. "And did you tell Neroon that the act of love has become uncomfortable for you when you express your love in that particular way?"

"No, I feel too embarrassed to bring it up. He loves me and I love him and being together in that way is the best thing there is, but..."

"It is too much... I understand. Marcus, did you ever suggest to Neroon to express your feelings in other ways? Penetration is not necessary to reach orgasm."

Now Marcus blushed a fiery red. "I like it when he makes love to me in that way and... We never considered doing things differently."

Valorum leaned in closer. "Is that a half-truth? I believe that you did consider alternative ways to make love... But you never told Neroon."

Marcus felt busted. "True..."

"Then tell him. The hormones might cause Neroon's sexual drive to go overboard, but that does not mean you have to suffer because of it. Neroon would not want that in the first place. But he is not telepathic, so he does not know what you are thinking or feeling. Talk to him." Valorum got back to his feet. "I also talked to Neroon today. He is very happy right now and loves you with a passion, but you have to communicate your feelings to him."

Marcus nodded his head. "I'll try."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon licked his lips, finding Marcus naked in the shower. He loved to make love beneath the warm water beams, gently kneading his tired muscles. He removed his clothes and joined Marcus in the bathroom. Even after all these years, he felt thankful for hiring the most expensive and creative architect on Minbar to design his home. The bathrooms were spectacular and the plants and small waterfalls always calmed him down.

He resisted the temptation to sneak up on his lover, knowing that Marcus still startled easily even though Shakiri had been gone for a year now. "Marcus?" He cleared his throat and watched Marcus quickly spin around. The Ranger seemed uncomfortable, finding him here. "Is something wrong?"

Marcus swallowed his reply and shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong. Everything is fine." Looking at Neroon's body, he found the Minbari painfully erect, already leaking pre-ejaculate. Bloody hell, I still feel sore... I can't go again, not yet!

Neroon advanced on his lover and wrapped his arms around him. "You look good enough to eat." Needing the close physical contact, he licked his lover's skin, kissing closed eyes in the process. Possessively, he rubbed against his mate, demonstrating his desire and eagerness to make love to him. "Oh, I want you... I have been thinking about you all day long. It was difficult to pay attention to boring speeches when all I could think about was you."

Marcus closed his eyes, hating the fact that he was going to disappoint Neroon, but he was simply too sore to make love right now. He tensed when the head of Neroon's eager cock teased his entrance. "No, stop..."

Neroon's eyes widened. "What?" Marcus had never denied him before!

"I can't... yet." Marcus trembled and took a step away from Neroon. "I'm sore! You took me twice each day for the last week! The discomfort's outweighing the pleasure... I'm sorry." Lowering his eyes, he stared at the water, running over his feet. "I want to, but..."

Neroon shook his head in disbelief. "Why did you not tell me the moment the discomfort started? I would never ask you to be with me when you are hurting!" He felt slightly betrayed that Marcus hadn't confided in him earlier. "Since when...?"

"This morning was bad... I didn't want to disappoint you and I love it when you take me, but... it burns and itches..."

"What about the ointment Valorum gave you?"

"It's not helping any more. I need some time... off." Marcus hesitantly met Neroon's eyes. "I know it's the hormones that cause you to make love to me all the time and I like being craved, but maybe... we should look in to... different ways... of making love." His tone became nearly inaudible, uttering that last word.

Neroon covered the distance between them and enfolded Marcus in his arms. His arousal had faded now that he had learned about his lover's discomfort. "You should have told me earlier..." He caressed his lover's moist skin, teasing a nipple in to hardness. "And yes, we should study other, new ways to express our love."

Marcus sighed, relieved. "You're not mad at me?"

"Mad at you?" Neroon's features changed, became thoughtful. "No, I am proud of you. You told me to back off and did not let me impose my will on you." Something Shakiri had done for eight months and Marcus hadn't had any means of defending himself. He hoped that Marcus had finally shed his fears and self-doubts, now that he was standing up to him. Equals at last. If it had not been for Shakiri's torture we would have reached this point earlier. He took Marcus' hand in his and rested it against his abdomen. "I love you."

Suddenly Marcus' eyes grew big and Neroon wondered what he had done wrong this time. "What?"

Marcus grinned brilliantly. "I can feel this little bulge..." His fingers gently rubbed Neroon's abdomen. "Is this where our baby's growing?"

"Yes." Neroon pressed Marcus' hand closer against his abdomen. "Another two months and he will be kicking."

Marcus' eyes filled with tears of joy. "Can I?"

"What?"

Marcus went down on his knees and pressed a passionate kiss on his lover's abdomen. "Hello, little one... I'm one of your daddies..."

Neroon's eyes grew hooded, hearing Marcus' words. Yes, they would be parents soon... "Marcus..." He pulled his lover back to his feet and grabbed the soap, washing his lover. Sex was the last thing on his mind right now. He wanted to hold and cherish his lover and assure him that everything was fine.

"Marcus, we still need a name for the child. I want you to choose one."

"Me?" Marcus was surprised. "I thought you wanted to give him a Minbari name."

"You choose the name," repeated Neroon. "I am sure you will pick a name worthy of our son." Leaning in closer, he gently kissed Marcus. They held each other close, sharing their love and affection for each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Neroon?" Marcus purred the name, hoping to convince Neroon to make love. These last months had been crazy. First Neroon had nearly chased him, wanting to make love to him until he had to tell the Minbari no, and now Neroon no longer seemed interested in him sexually.

Standing behind his lover, Marcus wrapped his arms around Neroon, resting his head on the Minbari's shoulder. "You studied those reports for hours now. It's time to take a break."

Neroon had been in his study for several hours, bent over reports and crystals. His right hand slid lower, until it rested against Neroon's abdomen. Neroon was adding weight each day and Valorum assured them that the baby was perfectly healthy. They would become parents in three months.

"You have to consider our baby, Neroon. Even if you don't need the rest, he does." Marcus still hadn't decided on a name. He was inclined to call their son William, but wasn't sure how Neroon would react to that. Maybe Neroon secretly hoped he would pick a Minbari name.

"Marcus, I need to concentrate. Take Legs for a walk, talk to Valorum or Jana, but leave me alone."

Marcus raised an eyebrow, but didn't back down. Neroon had been grumpy lately, but his tone had never before been this sharp. "Is everything all right? Is the pregnancy getting to you?" Marcus hissed in surprise when Neroon tightly grabbed his hand.

"I said, leave me." Neroon growled the words, not even looking up from his reports.

Suddenly putting some distance between them seemed a good idea to Marcus, but Neroon still had a tight hold on his hands. "Neroon..." The grip was starting to hurt. His breath caught when Neroon jumped to his feet, slamming him against the wall. His heart thundered when Neroon raised his hand to backhand him. Bloody hell, Valorum had warned them that Neroon could become aggressive in this stage of his pregnancy, but he had never thought Neroon would ever raise his hand against him!

"Get out of my sight!" Neroon's eyes burned with intensity. "I need to finish these reports."

Marcus was about to point out to Neroon that he couldn't leave as long as the Minbari held him in place, and tensed when Neroon grabbed his throat. Involuntarily he flashed back to Shakiri, beating him. No, this is Neroon. He doesn't know what he's doing or why he's acting like this. I've got to get through to him! Talk to him, damn it! But his mouth was dry and he could only stare at the raised hand, moving closer toward his face. He couldn't fight off Neroon, too scared he would hurt the child.

Just when he expected Neroon to backhand him, something or someone moved between them, pushing Neroon forcefully away from him.

"Alit Neroon, control yourself!" Seel opened his pike, just in case Neroon wouldn't react to his tone. "You attacked your mate!" Neroon's eyes grew big, realizing what he had done, what he had been about to do. His arm dropped to his side and he stared at Marcus with a beaten expression in his eyes. His hands trembled and he quickly averted his eyes. He couldn't believe he had slammed Marcus against the wall, trying to backhand him. "I am truly sorry. That should never have happened."

Seel quickly contacted Valorum and told the healer what had happened, while keeping a close eye on Neroon.

"Marcus, I truly regret attacking you." His eyes filled with tears, hoping he hadn't done too much damage. Would Marcus now distrust him for the rest of his life? Had he become a monster like Shakiri in Marcus' eyes? Shakiri had attacked Marcus and so had he! "I lost control." It was a frightening admission. What if it happened again and this time Seel wasn't around to stop him? Maybe it was best that he moved to separate quarters, putting some distance between them.

Marcus straightened out his robes, needing the moment to compose himself. My God, for a moment he had been back in his deserted quarters, under Shakiri and Sallis' mercy. Seeking out Neroon's eyes, he saw the tears in them. Acting instinctively, he folded his arms around Neroon, holding him close. "Don't ever scare me like that again!"

Neroon swallowed hard, touched by the fact that Marcus still seemed to trust him, still wanted him close. "I do not know what came over me."

Marcus shushed him. "I know you didn't want to hurt me. You love me. It's because of this pregnancy, the hormones... Didn't Valorum give you a shot this morning?"

"Yes, and a larger dose than normal." Neroon met Marcus' eyes, immensely grateful to read unconditional love and trust in them. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"I'm fine, Neroon, no harm done. At least you didn't go for my poor ribs this time," teased Marcus, hoping to lift Neroon's spirits. Seeing the lurking tears in Neroon's dark eyes made him cringe. "It wasn't your fault." From the corner of his eye he noticed Valorum's arrival and listened as Seel informed the healer.

"Marcus? Neroon?" Valorum stepped up to them, scanning them with his eyes. "Seel told me what happened. Did you attack Marcus?"

"I lost my patience, and yes... I attacked him." Guilt was written all over Neroon's face. "I never meant to."

"Neroon, sit down." Valorum pulled up a chair and uncovered his scanners. "I just need to run one specific test..."

Neroon allowed the examination, but never took his eyes off of Marcus. "What did you find?"

"You are having a bad reaction to this morning's injection. I can remedy that." Valorum uncovered a syringe and injected a greenish fluid in to Neroon's vein. "That should take care of the imbalance. You were wise to call for me."

"Can this happen again?" If the answer was affirmative he was moving out. No way would he endanger Marcus' safety! Spending these last three months in seclusion would be a small price to pay for Marcus' safety!

"I do not think so. We caught the reaction and dealt with it." Valorum met Marcus' eyes. "But I suggest you keep Seel or another warrior close just in case."

Marcus nodded once. "I understand." He went down on his heels and waited for Neroon to look at him. "Don't feel guilty, Neroon. You couldn't help it."

"But what if it happens again? What if I succeed in hurting you?" Neroon's tone edged on panic.

"I won't let it happen. I know what to expect now... And why worry? Valorum restored your hormone balance. We'll get through this." Marcus tried to radiate confidence and calm. "Valorum, help me out here?"

"Your mate is right, Neroon. I will adjust the dose of hormones and this will never happen again."

"You heard Valorum. You trust him, don't you?" Marcus waited for Neroon to nod. "And I trust you... trust you with my life."

The raging hormone cocktails in his body finally overwhelmed Neroon and tears slithered down his face. "Valen, I hate being like this."

"Three more months, Neroon. We can do this." Reassuringly, he placed Neroon's hand on the warrior's abdomen and covered it with his own. "This is where our future lies, as a family, and I won't let any bloody hormones, or memories of Shakiri, take that away from us."

Valorum smiled and soundlessly crept away, trusting Seel to watch over the couple. They will be all right. In three months they will have a beautiful baby and they will see that everything was worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You will temporary replace me as head of the Warrior Caste," announced Neroon. "You need to know what to expect, how to act." Neroon sat in one of the comfortable chairs on the balcony, mustering Marcus who was pacing in front of him. "I need to teach you."

"Neroon, I still think this is a bad idea." Marcus turned and walked up to Neroon, coming to a halt in front of the Minbari. He didn't worry about Neroon getting angry with him. Since Valorum had adapted the hormone composition, Neroon had been calm, never showing any aggressiveness again. Still, Seel was close, just in case. "I'm human, Neroon. I can't lead the Warrior Caste, no matter for how brief a time!"

Looking at Neroon's growing belly, he realized damn well that his lover had to rest. Leading the Warrior Caste was too stressful right now, and with the recent Raiders attacks Neroon would be placing himself in danger when going after the intruders. "Why can't Barin take your place? Or Uyi? You once told me she would make a good leader. Why me?"

"Because you are my official mate and race does not matter. Even if you were Drazi, my men would be honor bound to follow you." Neroon slowly rose from his chair, privately cursing the added weight. "Marcus, you are a Ranger and my mate, they will accept you." Neroon rested a hand on his lover's shoulder. "Trust me."

"I'll always trust you," admitted Marcus within a heartbeat, "but what if...?"

Neroon didn't need to be a telepath to understand that Marcus' thoughts were on Arisia. "You did not bring them death back then and you won't lead my men to disaster now. I will coach you, advise you, but you have to be available in case of an emergency, and considering the fact that the Raiders' attacks are growing increasingly bolder, you might need to put a stop to them."

Marcus sighed. "I still think this is a dumb idea."

"I know you do, my beloved, but I cannot lead them in my current condition and as a Ranger you should be able to handle a situation like this."

"I don't feel like a Ranger any more," confessed Marcus. "It's been over a year since I wore that uniform." He had been wearing the comfortable robes ever since.

"That is the first thing we need to discuss," said Neroon, "your clothing."

"My clothing? Do I have to dress up for them?" Marcus tried to smile, but his features contracted in to a grimace.

Neroon nodded his head in sympathy. "I know how you feel about wearing our uniform and I won't force you to wear one."

After they had rescued Marcus from Shakiri, the Ranger had trembled when seeing a black uniform. "May I make a suggestion?" He proceeded after Marcus nodded once. "Wear the robes," started Neroon," it will show them that you are a bridge between the Rangers and the Warrior Caste. You might want to wear the necklace though, visible. It will convince them that you are loyal to me and the Star Riders. Once they have been around you for a while they will reach the only logical conclusion; that you are loyal to the entire caste."

Marcus knew it was useless to fight Neroon on this. Neroon was determined to put him in charge of the Warrior Caste for the time being. "What else do I need to know?"

"As caste leader, you must act as a supervisor. The clan leaders will direct their clans and you must make sure they are making no mistakes. If you find anything goes wrong, correct them. Do not try to do everything yourself, delegate."

"Delegate? All right, I think I can do that." Marcus forced himself to smile and placed his hand on Neroon's belly. "Bugger, he's kicking!"

"The little one has been moving about all morning," admitted Neroon. "And you still need to pick a name for him."

"I haven't decided yet." He had tried to lure Neroon in to mentioning suitable names for their son, but the Minbari had refused, telling him it was his task to pick a name. "And everything is going according to plan?"

"Yes, the baby is developing nicely. He will be born in two, maybe three, months. Valorum will tell us when he can perform surgery and bring our son in to this world."

Feeling nervous, Marcus wished time passed faster. "I can hardly wait."

Neroon smiled. "I feel the same way."

Their perfect moment in time was interrupted by Seel who had to deliver a message from Barin. "Alit Neroon? Marcus?"

"Yes?" answered Neroon and Marcus simultaneously, making them smile.

"The Raiders attacked again. This time they utterly destroyed a freighter carrying Q 40, which was heading to one of our colonies. Fifty Minbari, belonging to the Worker Caste, were killed."

Neroon growled. "By Valen! We have to stop them!" He turned toward Marcus. "The Trigati will take you to our fleet where the clan leaders will be waiting for you. Coordinate a possible attack. We need to deal with the Raiders."

Marcus swallowed hard now that Neroon was looking to him to stop the Raiders. Seeing the expression in Neroon's eyes, he knew he couldn't change his lover's mind. "You want me to take care of this?"

"Yes. Seel, get Marcus an escort and make sure he reaches the Trigati. Never leave him alone until he is back at my side. You are personally responsible for his safety."

"I understand, Alit." Seel nodded his head. "Please follow me, Marcus. The clan leaders are already awaiting your arrival." Marcus suddenly realized that he had to say his goodbyes to Neroon. "I'll be back..."

"I know you will." Neroon kissed Marcus and searched the green eyes. "You can do this, always remember I have faith in you." Marcus licked his lips. "Thanks, Neroon." The child couldn't hear him, but he had to speak the words for his own sake. He sat on his heels and whispered against Neroon's belly. "I love you, and I will be back... I promise." Marcus got to his feet again and claimed Neroon's lips one more time. "I love you..."

Neroon nodded once. "Do not keep them waiting. They need guidance." Neroon's heart contracted painfully when Marcus disappeared in to a corridor. He would keep in close contact with his mate and the clan leaders, but Marcus was basically on his own now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus followed Neroon's advice and slipped into some fresh dark robes. He wore the necklace proudly, literally feeling the stares directed at it. He tried to act politely and adapted some of Neroon's firmness when dealing with the warriors. Although he still feared running into Shakiri's guards, who now might be serving in the fleet, he managed to keep his nervousness under control.

Barin and Uyi greeted him when he boarded the Ingata. The Trigati would stay close, but the clan leaders had gathered on board of Branmer's war ship and he followed Barin and Uyi to the command center. Surprised, he realized they were updating him, feeding him confidential information.

"As far as we can tell the Raiders are using five large battle ships to surround and then board our ships. They struck yesterday again. Our ship was on route for Minbar, back from the outer rim, when the Raiders struck. They killed thirty Minbari, all Religious Caste." Barin's tone revealed his anger.

"Any survivors?" asked Marcus.

"No," replied Uyi. "They killed everyone onboard."

"Did someone register any of the attacks? Do we have footage?" Marcus saw their puzzled expressions and explained. "We need to study their tactics if we want to fight them successfully."

"I will look in to that matter," promised Uyi.

Marcus involuntarily sucked in his breath when they entered the command center. He had seen Minbari technology at work before, but it still astounded him. Suddenly, he stood at the center of the universe; stars, planets, nebulas and other ships surrounded him. It was a perfect replica of what was happening close to the Trigati. With a polite nod, he greeted Zoun, Weyr, and he smiled when meeting Nasdak's eyes. The young Minbari also looked uncomfortable at being there, which was understandable. Nasdak didn't have much battle experience yet. "The Raiders?"

Zoun whispered a command in Vik and the holographic display changed. "Uhm, interesting... Those are Narn battle cruisers... How many ships do we have at our disposal?"

Weyr replied, "Four war ships... I thought that would be enough to force them in to submission, but I might have underestimated them."

Marcus nodded once. "We need some back-up."

"We sighted two White Stars in the vicinity. Maybe they would be inclined to help?"

"That's an excellent idea, Barin." Marcus smiled. "Can we contact them?"

"Yes..." Uyi worked on establishing a connection. "You can speak now."

"White Star, this is Marcus Cole, requesting assistance against the Raiders."

"Marcus? This is Paul! What are you doing out here?"

"Paul..." Yes, they had trained together. "We need some back up. The Raiders just destroyed a Minbari ship, killing thirty members of the Religious Caste."

"Minbari? Marcus, where the hell are you? We aren't picking up any White Stars, except for Phil's and I'm in constant contact with him!"

"I'm with the Minbari." Marcus cringed, wondering if Paul would ever believe the truth. "Can you back us up?"

"Against the Raiders? Of course! Our mission is to destroy as many of their ships as we can!"

"Thanks, Paul..." Marcus studied the Raider's formation. "They aren't going to run..."

"I agree," said Zoun. "They want a confrontation."

"They don't know we got two White Stars as back up. They assume they only got to deal with the warships..." Marcus wished Neroon were here, but he didn't have the time to contact Neroon. "Suggestions?"

"We take the initiative away from them and attack first," said Barin. Uyi, Zoun and Weyr agreed. Nasdak wavered, inexperienced.

Marcus suddenly realized that they were looking to him to make the final decision. Me? I don't have that much battle experience either and I have no idea how to lead the Minbari in to battle! But he trusted Barin's judgment. "All right then, we attack!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During the battle, Marcus limited his role to observing. All clan leaders directed their men, and only Nasdak showed some insecurity at times, but they were winning. They had already destroyed two ships of the Raiders and Marcus summoned the remaining ships to surrender. But the Raiders refused, determined to fight until the end.

Marcus had no other choice than to continue the battle. He ordered the White Stars to cover one of the war ships that had gotten too close to one of the Raiders' ships.

Barin nodded approvingly, grateful for the support, as his men stationed on that war ship.

The battle continued for long minutes, then the war ship blew the Raiders' ship in to tiny pieces. "Uyi, advise them to surrender," ordered Marcus, trying to save as many lives as possible. Not only the Raiders were suffering losses.

Uyi sent the message. "They accept."

"Barin, have our men board the Raiders' ship, place them under arrest and confine them to the cell block." Marcus sighed, relieved. Things had worked out after all. Neroon would be pleased.

Barin nodded once and Marcus left the command center. Seel was waiting for him with a huge grin on his face. Seel had witnessed their victory and felt proud of Marcus.

"I want to contact Neroon... And I need some privacy." Marcus rubbed his brow, hardly believing he had helped the Minbari gain this victory.

"Follow me..." Seel guided Marcus to some private quarters and established a connection with Neroon's residence. "I will wait outside," said Seel, eager to give Marcus some privacy.

Marcus waited for Seel to step outside and then opened the connection. His heart fluttered madly in his chest, seeing Neroon resting on their sleeping platform. His lover's belly was huge and the image brought a brilliant smile to his face. "Neroon?"

"I am awake," assured Neroon him from behind closed eyelids. "Your first victory. You did well."

Marcus felt a little disappointed. "You already know what happened? I wanted to tell you..." He sounded like a little child, but he had been looking forward to tell Neroon. "Can I come home now?"

"I think so." Neroon finally opened his eyes. "The Raiders won't attack again in the near future. Their losses are too great. Yes, come home..."

"Neroon?" Marcus frowned. The secretive smile on Neroon's lips spelled trouble. "What?"

"Valorum thinks our son is ready to be born. He wants to perform surgery once you get back."

Marcus cursed softly. "I'm already on my way. Tell Valorum to wait until I get there!" It was beyond him how Neroon could remain this mellow and relaxed.

"Then hurry back, my beloved..." Neroon closed his eyes again and patted Legs, who lay curled up next to him. "We are going to be parents."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus hurried to their rooms, eager to be reunited with Neroon. Once he reached the doorway, he softly opened the door, finding Neroon asleep. He stole inside, pulled up a chair and sat watching his lover. Careful not to wake Neroon, he placed his right hand on his lover's bulging belly. Valorum would perform surgery tonight. He could hardly believe that he would hold their son in his arms in a few hours. Saddened, he recalled the child he had lost due to Shakiri's abuse.

"You must have set a new record in getting here this quickly," teased Neroon. Although he had been asleep, Marcus' footfalls had woken him. He was a light sleeper and even asleep he was trained to pick up on someone's presence.

"You're awake!" Marcus leaned in closer and kissed Neroon. "I can't believe it's really happening."

Neroon took hold of Marcus' hand and placed it against his abdomen. "You can distinctly feel him moving about. He is ready."

Marcus grinned, feeling the movement beneath his hand. The baby was kicking all right. "I love you..."

Neroon opened his eyes. "I must admit that I will be relieved once my pregnancy is over."

"I understand..." Marcus stroked Neroon's in sweat covered brow. "You feel hot!"

"That is perfectly normal. It's a fever, indicating the child is ready to be born..."

Valorum entered the room and joined them. "The medical staff awaits you, Neroon."

"Remember, I want to be conscious when you perform the surgery!" Neroon glared at Valorum.

Valorum nodded once. "I will give you a local anesthetic."

Neroon struggled upright and swung his feet to the floor. Valorum had offered to get a stretcher from the medical facility so he wouldn't have to walk the distance, but Neroon had refused. Leaning heavily on Marcus, he slowly made his way to the medical facility.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus barely suppressed a moan when Neroon nearly crushed his fingers. The Minbari had a tight hold on his hand and probably had no idea how crushing his grip was. Valorum had administered the local anesthetic and was now in the process of performing a Caesarian section. "You can do this, Neroon. Just a little longer..."

Neroon's gaze met his and Marcus licked his lips. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"Sweet talk... You owe me one long backrub!" Neroon stared at the IV's he was hooked up to. "How much longer?"

Valorum continued to concentrate on his task, ignoring Neroon's impatient question.

Marcus swallowed, nervously. "I can't ever thank you enough for doing this for us..."

Neroon growled. "You can show your gratitude later... in bed!"

Marcus laughed, relieving some of his tension. However, his breath caught when Valorum raised his hands, handing the baby to Jalai. "Why isn't he crying? Isn't a baby supposed to be crying?" Panicking, he tried to catch a glimpse of his son. Jalai cleaned the baby's airways, held him upside down and the baby suddenly admitted a loud wail.

Neroon sighed. "Is he healthy?"

Jalai cleaned the tiny body and wrapped the baby in a warm blanket. "You have a healthy son." He showed Neroon his son and wanted to place the baby in Neroon's arms, but Neroon shook his head, seeing the rapture in Marcus' eyes. "Hand him to my mate."

Marcus' eyes grew big, holding his son in his arms. "He already has some dark hair..." Then the baby opened his eyes and big green eyes stared back at him. "Oh..."

Valorum stepped back after closing Neroon's abdomen. "You need to rest for a few days, Neroon." Doubtlessly, Neroon would be back on his feet within the week.

Marcus couldn't help himself and counted the baby's fingers and toes. "Ten...ten toes and ten little fingers..."

Neroon watched them and realized he had made the right decision eight months ago.

"Here, meet your son, Neroon." Feeling guilty for completely focusing on their child and forgetting about Neroon, Marcus placed their son in Neroon's arms.

"He will be a strong warrior," mumbled Neroon approvingly.

Marcus grinned. "A warrior, huh?"

Neroon returned the smile. "The child needs a name, Marcus." He still wondered why Marcus was this reluctant to reveal his chosen name.

"I was thinking about William..."

Neroon recognized the name. "Your brother's name was William..."

"Yes, but if you mind we can pick another name..." Marcus wasn't really paying attention, completely focused on the baby, whose eyes had closed. Tiny fingers were wrapped around his thumb, holding on to him. "He's perfect."

Neroon smiled, fatigued. "I like William..."

"You do?" Marcus' head jerked back in surprise.

"Yes."

Neroon patted the space next to him and Marcus understood at once. The platform was big enough for them both and Marcus lay down beside his lover, cradling their baby in his arms. "He's a miracle," whispered Marcus.

"Our miracle," confirmed Neroon, holding them both. Although surgery had weakened him, he had felt worse. "My private miracle, my mate and our son..."

Marcus smiled against Neroon's chest. "The other half of my soul..." Holding William close, he looked up at Neroon and pressed his lips on his lover's. Life had given him everything he had ever craved and he would cherish Neroon and William for the rest of his life. They were his life...

The End June 2002