The Betrayal Of Women

Author: Shara Nesu

Feedback: Shara-Nesu@supanet.com.

Archived: Shara's place: http://www.shara-nesu.supanet.com/index.html

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone it all belongs to Joss etc. *sigh*

Spoilers: Angel Season Four: Rain of Fire, this story is set at the very end of that Episode.

Category/Pairings: Angel/Wesley/Gunn

Rating: NC17

Warning: M&M Masturbation.

Distribution: Want, Have, Take.

Summary: At the end of Rain of Fire, Angel witnesses Cordelia and Connor in bed. He returns home to discover not only he is feeling betrayed by women.

Notes: I have been forced...literally tied to the computer and made to write this story. Nah. It's for my wonderful Mommy Sofy *waves* Any chance I'll get a Angel/Spike in return? And soooo many thanks to Kld - You're the best!

End of Rain of Fire.


The Betrayal Of Women
By Shara Nesu

Angel’s POV:

My heart is frozen. So much so I’m glad that it doesn’t beat. I’m glad that if I threw myself of this building right now, I wouldn’t die. No, death will come in time. There’s nothing left anymore. I have things I need to do first. Things I need to say.

To her.

To him...my son.

Cordelia and my son...are having sexual intercourse.

Oh gods, how I ache for her. I wanted so much to touch her, comfort her over the last couple of days, but I did the right thing (as always) and kept my distance. I gave her what she wanted - time and understanding. And what did I get in return? Betrayal. Cordelia and my son betrayed me.

She told me she couldn’t accept what Angelus had done. Isn’t she the one who said we were two separate beings? That I wasn’t him, and he wasn’t me. That she would be with me every step of the way to my redemption. So what were they? All lies - that’s what they were. Nothing but lies.

Fine, she can screw him all she wants. Fuck him into the next world for all I care. I am frozen and my feelings for her are frozen too. I will kill this new evil, and just by accident...I might bet myself killed right along with it.

I turn away from the broken windowpane and walk away from those who betrayed and hurt me. I can’t watch any longer. I came to help her - and him. Came to bring them home where I could protect them, but they don’t want my protection. They use me just like everyone else - use my love. Connor only has to call me ‘dad’ and I come running. Cordelia only has to bat an eyelid and I would die for her. Yet, they are together and I am alone.

Again.

~*~*~*~

The Hyperion is full of light when I return. There are lights blazing in the lobby and office. I’m surprised because it’s early morning and I didn’t expect anyone to be around. Surely Gunn would be wrapped around Fred in some nice warm bed, Wesley would be at this flat probably screwing Lilah, and Lorne would be practising his high notes. To my utter astonishment, it’s Wesley and Gunn in the lobby. There are pieces of bandages and bloodied towels lying around, and the two former friends are sat on the floor sharing a bottle of whiskey - empty ones scattered around them.

My whiskey - an expensive Irish import.

“Angel m’ old pal,” Wesley calls out, his drunkenness slurring his speech. “Come and have a swig.”

What the hell? Tonight...this morning can’t get any worse. I cross over the lobby and flop myself down on the nearest couch to where Wesley and Gunn are sprawled out on the floor.

“Angel!” Gunn cries out, finally noticing me. “Here have some. It’s damn fine stuff.” He rolls on his back and flings the bottle over in my direction. For a moment, my heart does a little jump, but I manage to clasp the corked bottled before it crashes to the ground.

“Me and Wes ‘ere have been having a little talk. The world’s gonna end and women suck,” he proclaims, a sad chuckle rising from his throat.

“Oh,” I reply, I’ve already figured that one out. Add to that that children suck too.

“Damn, Angel. Looks like someone put you through the mince grinder!” Wesley exclaims, finally noticing my broken and bloodied state. I’ve really gone past feeling the pain; it’s all inconsequential in any case. My crumbling heart has seen to that.

“They did,” I mumble, and take a long swig of the golden liquid. Oh yeah, Irish whiskey is the best.

Wesley rolls onto his feet, and picks up a bottle of Iodine and cotton wool. “Take ya shirt off,” he drawls, that posh, upper class English accent beginning to slip.

Damn, he makes me think of William at times, and sometimes I have to concrete on not reacting to his sly comments and dirty looks. They get me hard every time. I take another long drink before I move, and then pass the bottle back to Gunn. It’s hard trying to get my shirt off; it’s stuck into my wounds and with dried blood over my back. The wound in my throat is healing well, but still seeping a little blood. Wesley treats that one first and I gasp as the antiseptic stings my skin. I’m surprised I can feel anything at all...I guess I’m not entirely dead.

“Where you been all night then? Cordelia didn’t clean your wounds I notice,” Gunn comments, being perceptive as always.

“Cordelia was...busy,” I reply, reaching for more whiskey.

“Hmmm, I’m sure she was. Fred is busy too. Busy being as far away from me as possible. Yep, my pretty little Freddie has got the hots of Wesley here, again.” Gunn gives a dry laugh, which doesn’t touch his eyes. Yet, I smell no hostility from him towards Wesley, but if they have been here for most of the night...

“As I told you earlier,” Wesley replies in clipped tones, “I like Fred, I consider her a friend and she has a very intelligent mind, and that is all.”

“Oh right, because you’re happy screwing the she-devil.”

“Yeah, I’m very happy,” Wesley snarls with a hint of sarcasm, and adds more pressure than necessary to another cut on my chest. I gasp and Wesley jerks away. “Oh damn, I’m sorry, Angel.” His soft touch returns to my chest and he continues to clean away the blood and grime.

“Doesn’t matter, Wesley,” I mumble.

“Why Angel, do you like pain?” he growls. I’m surprised by his sudden change in demeanour. “I suppose you like being beaten into a plump, thrown around for a few hours, staked and left for dead. Yeah, it was great fun, knowing we can’t fucking win. Knowing the world is going to end and we can do fuck all to stop it! It was great, wasn’t Angel!!” Wesley is screaming now, his entire body shaking from head to toe.

“Wesley! I didn’t mean that...I...” I lose the words, and to my complete amazement, my body acts on it’s own and I stand up, taking the trembling Wesley into my arms.

What the hell am I doing!?

I’m standing in the middle of my lobby, holding my enemy in my arms. The man who took my child away from me, even though he thought only about saving him, and destroyed our trust and friendship in the process. I’m standing here holding him so tightly to my body, and heaven help me, I’m actually responding to his touch.

“Oh lord, Angel!” he cries, “I don’t know how to stop it! I can’t stop it! I’m so fucking useless...oh god, people are dying because I can’t stop it.” I know he doesn’t realise what he’s saying, that it’s the shock and grief talking, as well as a barrel load of drink. We were too late to save those people tonight; we faced an enemy with no weakness and absolute power. We were nothing but ants to be crushed before him. Yes, as Wesley said, tonight we were all useless.

“We’ll find a way,” I comfort him, “and there will be a way to kill him, Wesley. I swear I’ll find it.”

Thin shaking arms, worm there way around my back and my once friend...kind of enemy, holds me tight.

“Yeah, well, life sucks and then you die...which is going to be pretty soon too, which is nice.” Gunn talks to himself, lying on his back and looking at the last of the flaming comets outside the window.

“We’ll stop it...”

“Yeah? What if I don’t wanna? I don’t give a shit anymore, Angel! I killed someone! I deserve to die, that’s why Fred... oh Fred.” Gunn rolls up in a foetal position on the floor, his head buried in his hands, and I smell the salt scent of tears.

“We’ve all killed,” I whisper to myself, “We all want death at times too.” I lay my head on Wesley’s warm human shoulder, and return his embrace. I don’t care at this moment what and who this man is. I don’t care about what has happened in the past, all I care about is someone is holding me, when all I want is what Gunn wants. An end to the pain inside. A pain that won’t go away because it’s caused by the deepest of loves.

“You’re so big, Angel,” Wesley suddenly giggles against my throat. His hair brushes the side of my face as he rubs his cheek against me. He smells so good, so strong and warm. I smell that he’s on the edge of drunkenness too...they both are. “Damn, Angel, if you were my champion would you stop *me* hurting?”

“Yes, Wesley,” I mumble. I breathe in his sweat scent, his warmth surrounding me, heating my immortal body. I miss Cordelia’s touch; she was like this to hold. So warm, so fresh and alive. I’ll never hold her again.

Somehow, Wesley and I are moving backwards towards the couch. I’m not entirely aware who moved whom, but we sliding down into the soft seat, arms still around each other. I miss my stepping slightly and instead of sitting on the couch, I’m sliding off again, causing Wesley and I to fall into a heap on the floor. He giggles into my ear, and reaches for Gunn’s abandoned bottle. I’m amazed as he guzzles nearly a quarter of it before taking a breath, and belching loudly in my ear. Oh damn, I want to be drunk too. I grab the bottle from him and finish it off.

I love Irish whiskey. I love how my hands are moving in slow motion across Wesley’s back. He’s so damn warm. I can’t get over how hot his body feels to mine. I wonder if his skin would be warmer without the shirt between us. Material tears and I drag the remains of his shirt down his arms, and hold him tightly to my chest.

“Angel? You have four hands,” he laughs into my flesh, a hot little tongue slashing out to lap at my nipple. I grunt loudly and arch into his touch. So hot...so warm...so like Cordelia would have... No, Cordelia won’t for me, she does that for Connor, not for me.

“Where’s the whiskey?” Gunn asks suddenly, his dark face appearing before mine. I hand him the empty bottle and he lifts it to his lips. His eyes are completely glazed over and he rocks slightly on his haunches. “It’s fucking empty!” he cries, flinging the bottle aside and letting it smash to the floor. The sound of breaking glass echoes around the room, but we don’t take any notice. Wesley continues to suck at my hardened nipple, while unfocused deep brown eyes glaze into mine. “I don’t trust you, Angel,” he slurs, “and now you’ve finished the fucking whiskey. Oh well,” he shrugs and leans closer to me. “I’ll just have to suck it out of ya!”

Hot, human, male lips touch mine. They are unsure and I doubt that Gunn has ever kissed another man before. His lips break away after the first touch, and he looks down at Wesley, who has now moved over to my other nipple and is mouthing it enthusiastically. Ever so slowly, as if he’s not sure where his hand is going, Gunn touches Wesley’s naked back, running a finger down the prominent spine.

“Is the world going to end, Angel?” he asks.

“Maybe.” It’s the only answer I can give. I don’t have any at the moment, and a part of me doesn’t really care. My dreams are gone, my hope, my love. Just as it has for these two...my companions in grief. The women we cling to have betrayed us. Fred, Cordelia, and Lilah.

I give up thinking, I wrap a hand around the back of Gunn’s shaven head and drag his lips to mine. My tongue thrusts into his heat, into the hard male mouth, trying to forget what Cordelia tastes like when I used to kiss her. After a moment, something breaks within him, a sob issues from his throat, and I’m attacked by another set of hands and hot mouth. They are consuming me. Touching me. Touch me more!

Hot hands wander over my chest, my face, grabs my hair as hot tongues ravage my mouth. Dark and light skin, press against my deathly pale, and we loose ourselves. I don’t care about morals anymore. I just want the pain to end. I wrap my arms around one body, stripping it bare, and stare at the healthy form.

Gunn is large, perfectly formed and covered in chocolate skin that I just want to lick off. I push him back, pulling Wesley with me, until the youth is pressed to the floor with both of us crouching over him, our clothing also gone in an instant. I devour his sweet mouth again, tasting the remnants of pancakes and coffee. White pale hands and human tanned ones smooth over his darker skin, touching and tasting as we go. I’m surprised by his size however; his manhood is large and straight. I have to taste him, to have something so different to what Cordelia could give me.

I take the chocolate coloured penis into my mouth, and taste him. He hardens fully under my tongue, and a drop of pre-cum forms. I lap it away, surprised by the heat. It’s been forever since I sucked a human off.

“Oh fuck!” Gunn cries, his body shaking and trembling as I suckle on his cock. I feel Wesley touching me again, stroking my back, all the way down to my ass.

“I bet Angelus had lots of male lovers...hmmm? Angel?” he purrs in a drunken slur. I automatically spread my legs, and let him stroke me.

“Shit!” Gunn moans, his head falling back and he arches into my mouth. I let my throat relax, letting him slide further inside me. I caress Gunn’s firm thighs, pushing them open more so I can kneel between them, and arch into Wesley’s caresses. “Oh man, Wesley! His mouth!”

I grin around the hot cock inside me, and let him thrust into my throat. I let go of his hips and he surges forward. He fucks my face, his groin rubbing up against my nose with each thrust. Oh and his scent! Purely male, nothing soft and feminine there. Nothing to let me even consider I’m with someone else, someone female.

Suddenly, I groan as a finger presses against the cleft. It dips lower, finding my tight hole. It’s been so long since anyone touched me there. I start to shiver with expectation, hoping that he’ll enter me. For some reason, I getting an impression that Wesley might know more about male/male sex that he would let most people believe. A surprising discovery, I guess the stories of some private English schools could be true. A long finger plays over the soft skin for a moment, before breaching my tightness. I can’t help but cry out, the sound muffled by Gunn’s cock in my throat.

The vibrations travel from my throat, all the way through the young man’s body. He gasps out once, followed by a shout and fills my mouth with hot and creamy sperm. I savour his taste, swallowing him down, and then licking him clean. His dark head falls back with a thump, and he moans in his afterglow.

I release the softening penis, savouring the heat still clinging to my mouth and flooding my body. As I move, Wesley’s finger withdraws, and suddenly his mouth is attached to mine. We kiss hungrily, our tongues tasting and fighting together, and I cling to his naked body.

“Want your mouth,” he moans as I break the kiss. We move frantically, shifting around until we are in what’s commonly called a 69 position. I take an another warm cock into my mouth, and suckle him into a full erection. This one is different to Gunn, a lot lighter in colour, but also narrower and maybe longer. Though, I don’t really care. It’s male, hard and wants to fuck me.

I sob as Wesley’s hot mouth takes my erection into its wet heat. He suckles with inexperience, so I make sure I’m above him and secure on hands and knees, so he can choose how much he takes into his mouth. While I just go straight down on him and let him hit the back of my throat. As with Gunn, I relax my hold on him, and let his hips move as they wish. I feel so full of them now, totally warm and wanted. I don’t care if we’re drunk and will regret this in the morning. Someone is touching me and isn’t afraid, and that’s all I care about.

I let out another cry, which is totally unmanly, as more warm hands touch my back. Gunn kneels beside us, watching Wesley mouth slide up and down my cock, his tongue lapping and suckling at me. While Wesley’s length, thrusts deep into my throat, taking what he needs to bring him to an earth-shattering climax.

“Fingers,” Wesley mumbles around my cock.

Gunn smiles evilly, and like Wesley before him, presses a finger to my available anus. He enters with a swift movement, the pain making me shudder in pleasure. Yes, he’s totally new at this.

“Thrust it,” Wesley moans, as I swallow around his cock.

Gunn does and I scream around the solid human flesh in my mouth. I can’t hold back a second longer and my orgasm crashes through me. How the hell did Wesley know I love that? I don’t think I want to know, especially as my harsh sucks have brought Wesley to his climax, and he floods my mouth with another load of human jism. Oh the taste, the heat.

Finally, exhausted and sated, a full feeling spreading through my entire body, I collapse beside Wesley on the floor. My head is throbbing from the orgasm and drink, and I don’t think I can make it up the stairs to my bed.

“I still hate you both, you know,” Wesley proclaims as he curls into my side.

“Same here,” Gunn replies with a yawn.

“I hate you too,” I agree, moving slightly so Gunn can curl into my other side.

The humans fall into a drink aided sleep around me, and I let my eyes close. The pain inside has been dulled slightly. The vision of Cordelia and Connor moving together has lost its sharp edges. My body is warmed by those around me, men hurt just as I am hurting, suffering pain right along with me. They might hate me, and I them in the morning, but I don’t really care at this moment. I curl into their embrace and let them hold me. Let them take my pain and unfreeze my heart.

Maybe with the strength of these men, I can defeat that demon. For the first time since my dreams were crushed. I think I might have hope again.



The end.