Title: Happy Birthday, Chakotay

Author: Bronte

Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager

Pairing: Chakotay/Paris

Type: Slash, male/male, first time

Rating: R

Archive: OK where posted, especially at Cha Club; cp_eternal; TP Dorm and ShortSweetSlash. Others? please ask first.

Notes: This story is set during season two, or thereabouts, shortly after Investigations. It was written for the Second Wave of the Booze Fuh-Q Fest, http://boozefest.netfirms.com/

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em and, unfortunately, I don't make any money off of 'em. Paramount is the lucky one... all bow to the almighty Paramount.

Summary: Members of the Voyager crew are throwing a birthday party for Chakotay and everyone is invited, but Tom's a no-show.

Warning of sorts: It's a little sappy! Hope you enjoy!

Beta: Noelle

Date written: May 2003

Happy Birthday, Chakotay

by Bronte

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Hey, Tom. Wait up!" Harry hollered as he rushed to enter the turbolift.

"Hey, Harry. What's up?"

"Just heading to mess hall to grab some breakfast. Wanna join me?"

"Thanks, but no. I'm heading to Holodeck Two to work out before shift," Tom replied. "I'll grab something to eat just before I head to the bridge."

"Mind if I walk you to the holodeck?" Harry asked unexpectedly.

"No.... I don't mind," Tom responded suspiciously, "but why..."

"Good," Harry interrupted. "Computer, Deck 7."

The men rode the turbolift in silence. When the doors opened, both stepped out. Neither man made a move towards the holodeck.

After a few moments, Tom broke the silence. "Harry, is there something you want to talk to me about?"

"I was wondering if you were going to Chakotay's birthday party tonight," Harry replied hesitantly.

"That's why you're walking me to the holodeck? To ask me if I'm going?" Tom responded in disbelief.

"Well, yes. I thought it would be good for you to..."

"The answer is no. End of conversation." Tom turned and stalked down the corridor.

"But Tom...," Harry began as he hurried to follow his friend. "I know you want to..."

"No, Harry. I may have been invited and I may want to go, but I know when I'm not welcome."

"But you need to talk to him, Tom," Harry pleaded, grabbing his friend by the arm, forcing him to stop and talk. "You can't go on like this. You need to make him understand that you didn't betray him, that you never wanted to hurt him, ...that you love him."

"Harry, I'm sick of you throwing that in my face every time something happens that in any way, shape or form involves Chakotay," Tom exclaimed impatiently. "I wish I had never told you about my feelings for him!"

"But I'm your friend and I care...," Harry stammered.

"Yeah, and every time you bring it up, it's like rubbing salt in the wound," Tom responded bitterly. "I just can't take it, knowing that he'll never return my feelings. It's better for me if I just pretend that he doesn't matter to me."

"But Tom, I'm sure he's forgiven you for your part in exposing Jonas. He knows you were just following orders."

"That doesn't matter and you know it. He would never love someone like me." Tom replied sullenly. "It just would never work. I'd fuck it up somehow."

"It wouldn't be like that," Harry countered.

Tom looked up and saw movement at the end of the corridor. An emotionless mask fell across his face. "Jenny and Megan are coming down the hall. It's time to end this conversation," Tom stated impassively, abruptly changing the subject of conversation. "Good-bye, Harry."

Before Harry could respond, Tom turned and entered Holodeck Two. "I really blew it this time," Harry thought to himself. "Now he's clammed up on me and won't talk. Great going, Har."

Harry didn't have time to berate himself any longer. Megan and Jenny were upon him.

"Hey, Harry, how's it hangin'," Jenny joked, as she leaned over, giving him a friendly hug and kiss.

"Just fine," Harry responded automatically, covering up for the emotional upheaval he felt. "I was just making my way to the messhall. Wanna join me?"

"Sure, we're heading that way ourselves," Megan replied. "Was that Tom you were just talking to?"

"Yeah, he's off to exercise and wasn't interested in breakfast," Harry responded neutrally, trying to appear as if nothing was wrong.

"That's too bad. I guess we'll see him tonight at Chakotay's party. Are you going?" Jenny asked, grabbing his arm to guide him down the corridor toward the turbolift.

"I sure am," Harry responded with a forced smile. "Are you?"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world," Jenny replied excitedly.

"Tom is going, isn't he?" Megan asked as they began to walk.

"I don't know. I forgot to ask," Harry lied, trying to divert the topic away from anything involving his best friend. The women didn't seem to notice the deflection as they escorted Harry to the messhall.

Along the way, Harry, thankfully, lost his troubling thoughts in the mind-numbing chatter of the twin sisters. "Maybe Tom was right," he thought to himself. "Not thinking about it may be the best policy."

Harry joined in the aimless banter, trying his best to ignore the heartache he felt on his friend's behalf.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Where's Tom?" Chakotay asked Harry as he was making his rounds at the party thrown in his honor. "He received the invitation, didn't he?"

"Um, I don't think he was feeling well," Harry lied unconvincingly.

"That's too bad," Chakotay responded distractedly, knowing that the pilot was avoiding him. "I was saving a bottle of Talaxian ale that Neelix cooked up last week as a peace offering. I've been pretty awful to him since he escaped from the Kazon warship."

"You know, Commander, Tom feels really bad about what happened," Harry acknowledged, taking care not to betray his friend's confidences.

"I know. It took me a while to see through the barrier my bruised ego created. I finally had a long talk with the captain and she made me see the light, so to speak. While I'm having trouble forgiving her," Chakotay admitted, "I now see that Tom was only doing his duty."

"You need to tell him that, Commander," Harry urged.

"I was going to tell him tonight over a glass of beer, but since he's a no-show..."

"You still can," Harry prodded. "Why don't you stop by his quarters after the party?"

"I don't want to disturb him," Chakotay murmured, staring dejectedly into his half-empty glass.

"Chakotay, I think he'll forgive you for it," Harry hinted. "You need to patch things up with him."

Chakotay looked up from his drink and was surprised at the intensity in Harry's eyes. "Does Tom want to see me?" Chakotay asked.

Harry shrugged. "It's not for me to say, but I suggest that you ask him that yourself. In private."

Chakotay's pulse quickened. "You know, Harry, that does sound like a good idea," Chakotay responded, with more hope than he dared to have. "I think I'll take your advice and pay Tom a visit."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The birthday party was beginning to wind down. After the conversation with Harry, Chakotay felt encouraged for the first time in a long while. Harry was telling him, in no uncertain terms, that Tom was interested in repairing their relationship.

Chakotay knew what he wanted out of their relationship. He told Harry about how the captain had helped him see the light. She helped, all right. She beat him over the head with it. But the light wasn't finding out Tom's role in the charade. The light was Chakotay's long hidden feelings for the younger man.

It was hard to tell when he first fell head-over-heels for Tom. To be honest, Chakotay had to admit that the first sparks lit during Tom's short time with the Maquis. Those sparks were quickly doused upon learning of the blonde's capture and apparent role as a traitor. He had felt like a fool for wanting the younger man.

That incident allowed Chakotay to push his feelings into the dark recesses of his mind and he vowed never to think of them again, that is, until their unforeseen encounter in the Delta quadrant. Those long-buried emotions came bursting to the surface as he took out his rage on Tom when they first saw each other on Voyager's bridge. Even when Tom later saved his life, Chakotay refused to acknowledge his affection for the younger man.

But now, things have changed. Chakotay could not deny his feelings any longer. It took deception and humiliation to bring them to the surface again. Once his anger subsided, he was able to understand the true reason for his pain. Tom. It was Tom who betrayed him. It was Tom who played him for a fool. It was Tom who was able to push the right buttons to unwittingly make Chakotay play the part needed to capture the spy. It was personal. Tom broke his heart.

On the other hand, while Kathryn's betrayal still angered him, that anger was felt on a professional level. The deception damaged their working relationship, but that was all. Chakotay would eventually get over it. He would just be wary of blindly trusting her again. But his reaction to Tom Paris was designed to protect his heart and he pushed the younger man away through his indifference and callousness. He built a barrier to protect himself, and it took Kathryn Janeway's not-so-subtle persuasiveness to make him finally realize what he was doing to him. He hurt Tom. Harry confirmed it, or at least confirmed that Tom was hurting. Chakotay had to rebuild their friendship. He didn't dare hope for more--not yet anyway.

It was 2300 hours when Chakotay said his good-byes to the diehard partygoers. He wouldn't be missed. After having consumed an appropriate amount of liquid courage and with the bottle of Talaxian ale in hand, he headed toward Tom's quarters. He hoped that Fate was with him. More importantly, he hoped that Fate was in a good mood.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tom sat at his computer terminal in his quarters, trying without much success to complete his monthly helm report. He had been distracted for much of the day with very unprofessional, yet entertaining thoughts of Chakotay. It didn't help that the older man occupied--no, dominated the space directly behind him on the bridge. Tom remembered feeling the commander's eyes on him for most of his shift, boring into his back, critiquing his every move, bathing him with their warmth...

"There you go again, Tommyboy," Tom said to himself with disgust. "Fantasizing about the big man will not make it real. You are so pathetic."

But Tom had to admit that he loved the attention, good or bad. Not only had the former Maquis captain dominated his work life, but Tom had allowed him to dominate his fantasy life... and what a well-developed fantasy life it was!

Tom was once again lost in his musings when he was interrupted by the sound of the door chime. "Why can't everyone leave me alone," he cursed under his breath. "Who is it?" he inquired as he walked up to the closed door.

"It's Chakotay."

Tom was sure his heart stopped beating, if only for a second. "Chakotay?" he whispered incredulously to himself. "What is he doing here?"

The door chimed again. Tom panicked and instinct took over.

"Go away, Commander. I don't want to see you."

"But Tom," Chakotay pleaded through the closed door, "I just want to talk. Let me in. Please?"

"I don't know...," Tom began hesitantly, but was interrupted by the swish of the door.

"That's better," Chakotay stated boldly as he swept through the door. "I don't really want to have this conversation through a closed door."

"It would have been nice if you'd actually let me invite you in!"

"It was getting awfully drafty in that hall...," Chakotay responded lamely.

"I don't care. I don't want to talk!" Tom held his position by the door.

"But we need to talk, Tom. I need to talk."

"I think I'll report you for using your command override. How would you like that?" Tom countered.

"I don't care what you do, Tom. I'm here and we're going to talk. Like it or not!"

"You can't order me around. I'm not on duty!"

"I'm glad," Chakotay replied simply.

"What?" Tom stammered, thrown by the non sequitur.

"Huh?" Chakotay asked distractedly. "Hmmm. What were we talking about?"

"I'm not sure. I don't think we were talking about anything yet," Tom observed. "We were still arguing."

"Oh, then I wanna talk about....," Chakotay began, as he crossed the room, taking a seat on the sofa.

Tom heard the slight slur of the older man's speech. "Chakotay, you've been drinking," he interjected as he watched the commander get comfortable. Tom glanced at the bottle in Chakotay's hand. "It looks like you've decided to bring the party here."

"Do you have a couple of glasses?"

"I'm not going to get rid of you, am I," Tom stated, acknowledging defeat.

"Nope."

Tom opened the cabinet and removed two glasses. "Will these do?"

"Just fine," Chakotay answered. "Now come over here and sit down."

Tom sat at the other end of the sofa, placing the two glass on the coffee table. He watched as Chakotay poured them both generous amounts of the clear green liquid. Both men picked up the glasses, saluted in silence, and took a drink.

"Why didn't you come to my party?" Chakotay asked quietly, interrupting the silence.

"I wasn't feeling well," Tom lied.

"Bzzz. Wrong. Try again," Chakotay teased.

Tom tried to deflect the question. "Why are you here, Chakotay?"

"I missed you," Chakotay admitted honestly.

"You did?"

"Yes, I did," Chakotay replied. "The party wasn't the same without you."

"Yep, that's me. The life of the party."

"That's not what I meant, Tom. I missed having my friend there."

"Oh," Tom replied softly, shocked at the admission. After a brief pause he asked, "Am I your friend?"

"Yes, but I know I haven't been acting like one lately."

"Yeah, well, I gave you plenty of reasons to not like me."

"No, Tom. It was me. My ego was bruised and I took it out on you. I'm so sorry for that." Chakotay acknowledged. He leaned over the table and filled Tom's glass once again.

"I didn't help matters with my cocky performance on Breakfast with Neelix," Tom allowed. "I was just so damn frustrated over the whole Jonas thing that I slipped into 'pain in the ass Tom Paris' mode. Can you forgive me?"

"Already forgiven," Chakotay confirmed.

"Thanks. I needed to hear that," Tom admitted honestly.

"Have you forgiven me?" Chakotay asked expectantly.

"There's nothing to forgive," Tom assured. "I would have been just as upset if I were in your shoes."

"Yes, but that doesn't give me the right to take it out on you," Chakotay replied downheartedly.

Tom noticed a slight sag in the older man's shoulders. He couldn't believe that Chakotay needed reassurance as much as he did. "I do forgive you, Chakotay," Tom acknowledged.

"That's the best birthday present I could've asked for," Chakotay stated warmly.

"And it's the cheapest," Tom quipped, asserting a bit of his fly-boy persona.

"No, Tom. It's priceless."

The fly-boy immediately disappeared, as the real Tom returned. That simple statement from Chakotay meant the world to Tom. It showed that Chakotay valued Tom's forgiveness. For the first time, Tom wondered if he would value something more from him.

Neither man said a word for a minute. Finally, Tom broke the silence. "I'm glad you stopped by. I was worried that we couldn't get past this," Tom said softly as he stared into his drink. "I don't think I could bear the thought of you not being my friend."

"I will always be your friend from now on," Chakotay pledged, pleased with the progress they'd made in repairing the rift. He didn't want to push Tom into something too soon or too fast, so he deflected the conversation.

"So, Tom, since we are friends again, I think you should help me celebrate my birthday in style by get stinking drunk with me. Are you up for the task?"

"I sure am!" Tom responded enthusiastically, with a hint of relief in his voice. "Pour me another one."

"Yes, sir!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Holy shit!" Tom gasped as he woke up in his own bed, nude from the waist down. "What hit me...," he moaned to himself as he rolled over to hide his eyes from the light in the bedroom. He didn't roll very far, when he encountered a body in his bed, clad only in boxers. "Maybe I'm still dreaming," he thought to himself.

"Paris?" the body asked, stirring from his drunken slumber. "Is that you?"

"Chakotay?"

"Yeah, I think it's me," Chakotay responded meekly. "Oh gods! I'm blind!"

"You're not blind. Just hungover."

"I'm not? That's a relief." Chakotay tried to opened his eyes but slammed them shut. "Computer, lights to 5%."

"Whew," Tom sighed. "That's a relief. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're probably still drunk, Chakotay declared. "At least I think that's our problem. I don't really remember much."

"I don't remember much either."

Both men looked at their state of dress. "Do you think we did... anything, you know?" Chakotay stammered uneasily.

"I don't feel sore," Tom observed. "Just sick. How about you?"

"Sick? Yes. Sore? Not there, anyway," Chakotay admitted, blushing slightly.

"We could have given each other hand jobs," Tom observed logically.

Chakotay quickly felt around his body and the bed sheets. "No evidence," he responded.

"Maybe blow jobs then?"

Both men remained in bed, shocked, trying not to move or make a sound, thinking of the possibility of the mutual orgasms that they would probably never remember, if it happened at all. Neither could believe that they were having this conversation with one another.

Chakotay did the only respectable thing. He changed the subject. "Tom, I'm going to comm the doctor for a hypospray. We need to feel better before we think any more about this."

Chakotay carefully walked into the living room and commed the doctor. After several minutes of what could only be termed as 'heated debate,' Chakotay returned with two hyposprays. Both men immediately felt relief.

"What was the problem with the doc?" Tom asked as the pain in his head subsided.

"He wanted to teach us a lesson and refused to authorize the hypos."

"The evil bastard. So what did you do?"

"I threatened to decompile his program," Chakotay stated calmly.

"But everyone threatens to do that."

"Yes, but I accessed your computer and started doing it. You see, I added a back door to his program."

"You're brilliant," Tom exclaimed as he embraced the older man. Both men were shocked by the action, but neither pulled away. Tom leaned closer and placed a gentle kiss on Chakotay's lips.

"Tom...," Chakotay gasped.

Tom pulled away. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. It'll never happen again."

"What if I want it to happen again?"

"Really? Do you mean it?" Tom asked.

"Yes, Tom. I do." Chakotay pulled the younger man in close and resumed the kiss.

"Gods, Chakotay. I've been dreaming of this moment for a long time."

"Me too," Chakotay admitted honestly.

"You have?"

"Yes. I've been attracted to you ever since the Maquis, but never acted on it."

"It seems we both have been acting pretty foolishly," Tom observed.

"And I think it's time we stopped... being foolish, not the kissing," Chakotay joked as he pushed Tom down on the mattress and covered him with his body. Their mouths met once again, but this time with increased intensity. Tom placed his arms around the bigger man, pulling him into a deep embrace. Their contact was too potent for either men to ignore.

"Chak," Tom gasped. "Get rid of the boxers!"

Chakotay quickly removed the offending garment, then easily stripped his companion of his tee-shirt. They resumed the contact, and Tom began flexing his hips, causing the heat to magnify within their groins. Neither man was going to last long. Neither man cared. The only thing that matter was that they were finally together.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Tom, are you okay?"

"Mmmmm..."

"Any regrets?"

"Just that we didn't do that sooner," Tom teased. "How about you?"

"No complaints," Chakotay smirked.

"Yeah, I didn't think so."

"Pretty cocky, aren't you?"

"Don't you know it."

Their banter was interrupted by the chirp of a communicator badge. "Who's badge is it?" Chakotay asked.

"Must be yours. It came from that side of the room, by your pile of clothes."

Chakotay scrambled to his tunic and tapped the badge. "Chakotay here," he replied breathlessly.

"Tom's late for his shift, Chakotay," Janeway said without preamble. "I took the liberty of giving him the day off. Something tells me he's been busy."

Chakotay could tell she was grinning from ear to ear. "Yes, Kathryn, you could say that," Chakotay responded neutrally, trying not to play into her hand.

Tom moaned. "She knows..."

"Yes, Tom. I know," Janeway responded to the pilot through the open link, "and I couldn't be happier."

Tom was speechless. Not only was Chakotay in his bed, but the captain approved. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Thank you, Captain. I know he appreciates the day off. We will make sure to put it to good use."

"I'm sure you will," Janeway kidded. "I expect a full report from you tomorrow."

"Aye-aye, Captain."

"Oh, and happy birthday, Chakotay."

Chakotay heard her laugh as she ended the comm link. He then heard a moan from his new lover. "Tom, it's okay."

"I know. It's not that."

"Then what is it? Is something wrong?"

"I forgot to give you your birthday present."

"You didn't need to get me anything."

"I didn't, actually. It's more of an interactive birthday present." Tom positioned himself on his hands and knees facing away from Chakotay. He wiggled his butt within reach of the commander. "It's my ass, Chakotay. That's my present to you!"

"And I am eternally grateful," Chakotay smirked as he caressed the firm globes.

"Mmmm, that feels good," Tom murmured. "I think it's time to unwrap your present."

"But babe, it's already unwrapped."

"But not primed and tested," Tom teased.

"It will be soon."

"Not soon enough."

Chakotay wrapped his arms around Tom, pulling him off his knees and into a passionate embrace. As he listened to his lover whispering heartfelt birthday wishes, he had to smile. It seems that Fate, was indeed, in a good mood.

The End.