COPYRIGHT JUNE, 1999, BY: Sara Archer

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED. FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT. THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: Winds of Change

Author: Sara Archer

Rated: Slash NC-17

Pairing: Johnny/Roy

Archive: Yes, please

Content Warning: Graphic sex between two men, death of a main character (I kill the squad:-))

Author's Notes, Reserves and Restrictions: This is the third in the "Confession" series. As I stated above, I'm killing The Squad off, so to anyone who dearly loves that truck, I'm sorry, but it had to be done (I couldn't think of a way to save it<g>).

And finally, I wrote some sex. I hope you enjoy the story.

The Winds Of Change
Sara Archer

As often happens, the storm in the mountains to the east changed the wind patterns that flowed over the city of Los Angeles. The early morning breezes that wafted through the east facing windows warned the residents of the city that the Santa Anna winds were blowing into their
lives.

To a fire fighter, the Santa Anna's brought an extra measure of danger to their already hazardous job. The winds would send a hot arid blast of air across the landscape, drying everything, making the area primed for wildfires. The slightest spark would be fanned into a raging inferno in a matter of minutes. No Los Angeles County fire fighter slept easy until the winds were once again blowing in from across the Pacific.

Paramedic Roy DeSoto wiped the sweat off his brow as he whisked at the eggs he was scrambling. The temperature outside was approaching eighty degrees, and it wasn't even seven o'clock yet. Roy opened first one cupboard, then another in his hunt for a frying pan. It seemed strange to be making breakfast someplace besides the firehouse or his home. Still it was either this or go to work hungry. Maybe next time he'd go home before falling asleep on Johnny's couch.

"Who keeps their frying pans under the sink?" Roy wondered aloud when he finally found the errant cooking utensil.

He knew why he had stayed the night. He doubted whether he could have gone home alone after all that had happened. It's not everyday that both a person's dreams and their nightmares came true.

Johnny loved him. The mere thought sent a rush of excitement and a touch of fear through his system. All of his hopes and dreams had led up to this moment, and now that he was here, he was truly at a loss of what to do next. There would be so many complications, so many changes. His life had been set off balance by his wife's leaving, and now it was threatening to fall to pieces if he wasn't careful.

The sound of the shower shutting off brought Roy back to reality, and he quickly dropped some oil in the pan before putting it on the stove to heat up. Two pieces of bread in the toaster later, Roy heard the bathroom door open up and out walked his partner, John Gage, wearing only a towel around his slim waist.

Roy tried to look everywhere but at John's mostly naked form.

"Don't you have any clothes?" Roy asked as he stared at the suddenly fascinating ceiling.

"Yeah, but I don't wear them in the shower." John shrugged, deliberately stretching so that the towel sank lower on his hips.

"Well, you're not in the shower now," Roy said in exasperation. "Could you put some on?"

"You know, you're really handsome when you blush like that," Johnny teased.

"Put some clothes on," Roy ordered, then added, "arrogant exhibitionist."

"I heard that," John called then headed into the bedroom.

"You were suppose to," Roy replied as he poured the eggs into the frying pan.

John was grinning like a mad man as he slid first his boxers on, then his pants. It was amazing how, in one night, he could go from thinking his world was coming to an end to being this happy.

Yes, they had a long way to go. Roy was still coming to grips with not only his feelings, but the physical side of their love as well, but John knew things would work out. He just had to convince Roy of that.

"The eggs are ready," Roy called from the other room, making John's grin grow even wider.

"Coming, honey," he shouted and grabbed a shirt.

"If you even think I'm going to let you call me honey, you'd better think again." John heard his partner grumble when he walked into the main room.

"How about darling?" John asked with mock innocence.

"No."

"Sweety?"

"Not on your life."

"Baby?"

"I might have to pop you one."

"Puddin' Pie?"

"Only if I can call you Shnookums." Roy threatened.

John put on a thoughtful face. "Let's see... 'His pulse is getting weaker, Puddin' Pie.' 'We'd better get an IV going, Shnookums.' Nope, I don't think it will work."

"Then, can we stick to Johnny and Roy?" The older man asked as he poured two glasses of milk.

"Until we come up with something better." John shrugged while carrying the egg laden plates to the table.

"You are going to put your shirt on before you eat, aren't you?" Roy joined his partner with the two glasses.

"I always eat shirtless at home." John explained.

"Put your shirt on, Johnny." Roy folded his arms and waited.

"You're acting like a prude," John complained as he pulled his shirt on.

"And you promised me you'd warn me before you tried to seduce me again." Roy stated one of the rules they had worked out during their long conversation last evening.

"Okay." John shrugged, then leaned over, putting his face mere inches away from Roy's. "Roy, I'm about to seduce you."

"Uh...n...not before...not before breakfast." Roy stammered, holding one of the glasses out like a shield.

"Coward." John smiled and took the glass.

"Egotist." Roy countered, taking a deep breath. "Besides, we decided to take it slow."

"You decided." John replied as he sat down to dig into his eggs, then with a sly grin added, "I don't know how long I can keep my hands off of you."

Roy swallowed hard. "Can we talk about something else?"

"But you're all I have on my mind."

"Johnny." Roy's voice took on a whiny quality.

"Okay, okay." John laughed then nodded his head toward the open window. "It's going to be a hot one today."

"Worse," Roy replied. "The winds are out of the east."

A worried look came to Gage's eyes. "I hate the Santa Annas."

"You and every other fire fighter in the country," Roy agreed. "If only we had had a little rain in the past couple of weeks, but it's as dry as a bone out there." Roy began fiddling with the salt shaker.

"Yeah." John nodded, then tried to think of a conversation that didn't have a sexual context to it. "Aaahhh...oh, I know. When are you going to get the kids next?"

"In two weeks. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go to Disney Land or something." John shrugged as he mopped up the last of his eggs with his toast. "I've never been there, and I was thinking it might be...What?"

John paused at the incredulous look on Roy's face.

"You live in LA, and you've never been to Disney Land?" Roy asked in disbelief.

"I haven't lived here all my life." John defended himself. "And rides for me as a kid were on horseback, bringing the cattle down from the high pasture. Not exactly an E-ticket attraction."

"I don't know." Roy went back to fingering the salt shaker. "I think it sounds like a good time."

"Being in the saddle until your butt went numb, breathing the dust stirred up by the cattle until that was all you could smell, even after the drive was over? No thank you." John shook his head. "Roy, if you're giving massages, why don't you start with me instead of that salt shaker."

Roy looked up a Johnny sharply before glancing down at what his fingers were doing. He let go of the shaker a bit too fast, knocking it over and spilling the salt. When he reached to right it again, John's finger met his in a firm clasp, stilling Roy's nervous hands.

"Want to tell me what's bothering you?" John offered support.

Roy paused for a moment then shrugged. "The guys are going to see us drive in together."

"So? You slept on my couch, that's all. It's happened before. Why is this different?"

"Because...well...you know." Roy stammered.

"Because we kissed?" John lowered his voice to that seductive tone that alway flustered his partner quite nicely.

"Yes, that." Roy snapped before pulling his hand away.

"Well, don't feel so bad. All we did is kiss...not that I would have argued if more had happened... and that was at your place. " John took a pinch of the spilt salt and threw it over Roy's shoulder before gathering up his empty plate and glass and taking them to the sink. "Technically, all we did when you got here was talk, then you fell asleep on my couch. All nice and innocent."

"There wasn't anything innocent about it." Roy joined Johnny at the sink with his own dishes.

"Roy, we kissed, okay?" John finally decided to explain to the older man the way things were. "We kissed, and we're going to do it again, many time. And we're going to do more than just kiss, even if I have to yell, taunt, or seduce you every time. So, get use to it. In fact..." John gave his partner a look that could melt the polar ice caps. "I'm going to kiss you before we leave for work this morning."

Roy's eyes opened wide with shock. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"You will, when I kiss you." John shrugged before running water over the dishes.

"I can't believe what an arrogant jerk you can be." Roy snorted.

"I can't believe how you react when we kiss." John turned his enticing smile on Roy. "I mean you really lose it. I thought you were going to crawl right down my throat. It was like you lost total..."

"All right, all right," Roy held out his hands to stop John's flow of words, a flush of red spreading across his cheeks.

"You are so gorgeous when you blush like that." John murmured, taking a step forward. "It only works on people with light skin, you know. It's like your pale complexion was created for just those times when you become embarrassed...or excited."

Roy's eyes darted about as if looking for an avenue of escape.

"Shhh," John soothed as he reached out and took ahold of Roy's shoulders. "You know it's going to happen, so just let me kiss you, and it'll be over."

"Johnny..." Roy started to warn off his partner, then, with a sigh, decided to do as he was told. Still he was going to be damned if he responded in any way.

Any hope of remaining impassive fled the second their lips met. Roy opened wide under Johnny's tender assault, moaning when the younger man's tongue danced across his. While only lasting seconds, Roy felt as if the kiss went on for hours. When John finally pulled away, Roy found himself with his body pressed up against the younger man's, his fingers buried in Johnny's hair, and absolutely no memory of how he got that way.

"See," John whispered before giving Roy's lower lip one last stroke of his tongue. "You react so beautifully."

With that Johnny left his partner's embrace to gather up his keys.

"Ready to go to work?" John asked innocently.

Roy pulled himself together enough to glare at his partner before snatching up the coat he had worn last night, and yanked it on. The heat outside was forgotten for the heat that raged within him.

*Damn, this is going to be a long shift.* Roy thought to himself as he adjusted his too warm coat to cover the slight bulge that had formed in his pants.


Part 2

"That's not a good sign." Roy motioned toward station 51's front drive full of men and cars.

John rolled down the window of his truck as fire fighter Chet Kelly rushed out to greet them.

"Hi guys." Chet's normal jovial demeanor was replaced by a grim seriousness. "You'll have to park in the lot across the street. B and C shifts are showing up to go out with us."

Both paramedics knew that could only mean one thing. Something was burning, and if all three shifts were coming in at once, the fire had to be big.

"Where is it?" Roy asked, not bothering to qualify was 'it' was. Everyone already knew.

"Near Yorba Linda," Chet answered. "Information coming in says it's huge."

"We'll meet you inside," John said before checking his review mirror and pulling into the lot across the street.

"Don't even put on your blues." Captain Hank Stanley greeted them as they walked into the station's bay. "Go straight into your turnout gear."

Both men nodded as they made their way to the crowded locker room.

"Hi, Gage," fellow paramedic Will Slate called when he saw Roy and Johnny walk through the door. "You look a bit calmer than you did when you left last night. Did everything work out?"

John smiled when Roy ducked behind his locker door so no one could see his panicked look.

"Yep, doesn't it always?" John answered as he pulled his shirt off, then to save his partner from further embarrassment, he changed the subject. "What's the report on this one?"

"Not many houses in that area." Marco Lopez filled them in. "But they haven't had a fire up there in years, so there's tons of dead, heavy brush. Pretty rugged country too, lots of ridges and valleys."

"Earliest reports are saying it's already a bad one," Mike Stoker added. "With all that downed greasewood out there, it's like pouring gasoline on a lit grill."

"And with the Santa Annas pushing it along it's going to be one hot, fast fire," Roy said, giving Johnny a worried look.

They had all the ingredients to make this one of the worst fires they had ever had to fight. A troubled silence filled the room.

Captain Stanley walked in carrying a clip board. It was time to learn what position everyone was going to take to help battle the blaze.

"Okay, A-shift, short it's paramedics, you're going with the 23rd to help with containment. B-shift, since you've been on since yesterday, you're going to stay back and help keep the tanker choppers filled with water. C-shift, you're going to be on the firebreak and back burn with the 86th. Gage and DeSoto, meet me out by the squad for your assignment. Any questions?"

Each man gathered up their gear quietly and headed out to their assignments. It didn't need to be said, but each one silently wished the rest godspeed, and hope that they would all be returning home in one piece from this one.

John grabbed his and Roy's helmet off the shelf, tossing Roy his before they headed out into the bay. Hank stood waiting for them, a grim look on his face.

"Before I give you your assignment, I have to know. Are you two okay with each other? Because I'm not going to have time to be worrying that two of my men are too busy fighting each other to be watching out for themselves." Captain Stanley spoke bluntly.

"We're fine," John replied.

"It was all a misunderstanding." Roy added.

"Well, from now on, work your 'misunderstandings' out on your own time. Got it?" Stanley gave them both a critical inspection.

"Yes, sir," the two paramedics answered simultaneously.

"Good." Hank turned to a map he had spread out across the hood of the squad. "There's a campgrounds down in this valley." His fingers traced along the map. "The owner's pretty sure everyone who was there's gotten out, but HQ wants you two to make sure.

"There's a little creek that runs through the valley, and I want you to stay near it at all times. Whatever you do, stay off those ridges. You're not going to have anyone around for fire support, and I don't want any of my people being caught in a fire storm."

"Got it, Cap'." John grabbed the ma, folding it up as he climbed into the passenger seat of the squad.

"The drive in follows the creek." Hank told Roy as the paramedic slid in behind the steering wheel. "No heroics on this one, guys. That creek may be your last chance if things get hairy in there."

"Don't worry, Cap'." Roy assured his superior. "We'll be joining you on the containment lines in a couple of hours."

"I'm counting on it." Stanley gave them a concerned look as he stepped back to let the squad pull out of the bay.

No captain liked to send his men out on a assignment like this, but a fire fighter knew the dangers of their work. Hank sighed as he went out to join A-shift. There were times he really wished he had failed his captain's exam.

+++++++

The moment the squad cleared the high rise buildings of downtown Los Angeles, the smoke from the fire became evident on the south-eastern horizon. It billowed up like a huge dark cloud in an otherwise cloudless sky.

"I wonder how many acres it is," John murmured in awe of the smoky haze.

"With as dry as it is, there's going to be a lot more acres burning before this is through," Roy replied, his jaw set in a hard line.

The blacktop road leading towards the western edge of the blaze was deserted. The few residents had long since been evacuated in the face of the approaching inferno. The squad sped along at the fastest Roy could afford to go. They could already see the first glow of the wildfire even through the black smoke in the forefront. There wasn't much time.

By the time they turned off on the the dirt lane that led down into the back country camp area, the dry air was already dense with smoke. Both men knew they had very little time to get in, check the area, and get out if they wanted to stay ahead of the fire.

The campgrounds came into view as the squad rounded a small hill. Nestled in a bend of the small creek, it provided a picturesque site for people to get away from the big city. A pit toilet dominated the far end of the grounds, while a small office building stood near the entrance. It would have been a nice place to visit, some other time.

Now all the paramedics could think of was the trees and bushes that had been planted as screening for each campsite would mean more work for them. They would have to get out and search the grounds on foot to be certain they missed no one who might be hiding from the oncoming flames. That same brush also meant there would be more fuel for the fire when it reached here.

Roy parked the squad near the office before jumping out and grabbing his handy-talkie.

"I'll start in here." The senior paramedic hitched his thumb at the building. "Meet back here in no more than fifteen minutes. I mean it, junior, that fire is coming in awfully fast."

"Fifteen minutes." Johnny nodded, then headed out into the grounds, as Roy headed into the office.

Roy noticed the smoke was rolling in much thicker in just the short time he had been in the empty office. Already it was getting hard to see the toilet at the far end of the camp. John emerged from one camp site and moved on to the next. Roy chose the downstream side to begin his search.

Nine minutes later, Roy heard his partner cough somewhere off to his left. John stepped out from a stand of brush and waved.

"Anything?" Roy shouted.

"Nope, there's just a couple more up there, and then we can get out of here," John yelled back and disappeared up the hill.

Roy knocked on the men's side of the outhouse door before pushing it open. A quick inspection showed it to be empty. He did the same to the women's side, pushing the stall doors open to find no one there.

A strange sound greeted the senior paramedic as he exited the small structure. It sounded almost as if hundreds of people were all crumpling up pieces of paper, all at the same time. A sense of dread stole over Roy as he looked up at the eastern horizon. His dread turned to panic when he saw that it glowed with a flickering brightness.

The fire wasn't coming, it was already here.

What was worse, Johnny was somewhere up the ridge. Suddenly the creek, the squad, and their salvation seemed miles away.


Part 3

"Johnny, where are you?" Roy's voice came over the handy-talkie.

"Right here." John brought the transmitter to his lips. "I've just got one more to check out, and I'll be..."

John froze, his gaze rising to the ridge line above his head. A glow was taking over the horizon, and black smoke was pouring over the rise like water. Suddenly a shower of sparks flew up in the air, landing just uphill from him. The dry brush instantly burst into flames.

Forgetting anything else, the younger paramedic turned on his heels and sped down the hill. He cleared a line of brush just in time to hear the fire crackle to life behind him. He pushed his legs to run faster and, with a terror borne adrenaline rush, they gave him what he asked for.

Bursting through another boundary of small trees, John found Roy rushing up to find him. Without slowing his pace at all, John grabbed the sleeve of Roy's turnout coat and yanked him along behind him.

The crackle of the fire changed into a deafening roar as the blaze closed in on them. The dense smoke was turning night into day, making it hard to breath. The brush beside them was catching on fire and Johnny knew there was no way they would ever reach the squad in time. Their only hope lie in the creek. If only the fire didn't beat them to it.

John could feel the heat of the flames clawing at the back of his neck like a wild animal, trying to take him down. He was certain his hair was already starting to smolder. He didn't dare turn back to look at the holocaust bearing down on them for fear of slowing down or losing his footing. It would be all over for them if he did.

Sparks suddenly flew out in front of them, lighting the brush instantly. The fire was now between them and the creek. There was nothing left to do but lower their heads and plow through the flames. John felt them licking up the legs and waist of his turnout gear, turning the very clothing that was suppose to be protecting him into an oven hot enough to cook him.

Roy stumbled for a moment, pulling Johnny down, but Gage never loosened his grip. He simply dragged his partner's weight for the few seconds it took Roy to regain his footing and continue his flight.

John only knew they had reached the creek when he felt the water splashing up around his feet. With a strong pull, he practically threw Roy into the creek before diving head first into the cooling liquid himself. Their headlong flight had depleted both men of their oxygen supply though, and they quickly had to surface to breath, only to find themselves caught in an inferno.

The fire was on them now, so hot it seemed to burn the very air itself, stealing away the life giving oxygen. Johnny dove back under the water when he saw his turnout coat beginning to smolder.

Once again the need to breath sent him to the surface, only to be force back under by the heat before he could even fill his lungs.

John's chest ached, his lungs felt as if they were about to burst, he needed to breath so badly, but the pain that greeted him every time he surfaced made him dive back down into the safety of the cool water.

A darkness began to eat away at the edges of his vision as his body was depleted of oxygen. He briefly wondered if Roy was faring any better, but he couldn't find the strength to turn and find out.

One last foray to the surface made him decide it would be so much less painful if he just stayed down here, in the sanctuary of the water. A small part of him argued that he needed to go to the surface to breath, but a stronger fear kept him away from the agony that awaited above.

Suddenly strong hands were under him, pushing him to the surface. Johnny own body forced him to to take a deep lungful of the searing air before he felt his nose pinched close, his mouth covered. The hands then dragged him back into the soothing water.

John weakly struggled against the hands holding him. He did not want to go back up there again, but the arms were stronger than he was, the hands powerful enough to keep him from breathing under water.

Just when John felt his lungs were about to burst from the air he held inside, he was once again pushed to the surface, allowed to breath, then, once more, his nose and mouth were covered and he was dragged back under. Several times the cycle repeated itself until John no longer struggled, he just did what seemed to be expected of him.

Finally the surface air seemed a bit cooler, easier to breath. He was then brought up to the surface to stay and cupped hands poured water over his head.

As his body refilled with its precious oxygen, Johnny felt the fog in his mind slowly clear. His eyes focused on the barren landscape that stretched as far as the eye could see. He could still hear the roar of the fire, but it had diminished, moved away. The next sensation that came to him was the strong arms that surrounded him, pulling his back against a warm chest.

"Roy?" John croaked, feeling the rawness of his throat.

"Right here." Roy's voice sounded equally as hoarse.

"Are you okay?" John asked, leaning his head tiredly against his partner's shoulder.

"Yeah." Roy replied in a hushed tone. "You?"

"Uh huh, things are starting to make a little more sense now than they did earlier."

"Good. Sorry about that pinching your nose thing, but for a second it did look like you weren't going to go to the surface to take your next breath."

"For a second there, I wasn't." John sighed, then pushed himself shakily away from Roy. "I suppose we'd better go find the squad."

Roy pulled John back down into his embrace. "Not yet." Roy threw a handful of water onto the shore. It burst into a cloud of steam the moment it hit the heated ground. "It's still too hot. We'll stay here for a little longer. Besides...I doubt there's too much left of the squad, anyway."

"Great." Johnny murmured as he settled back down against Roy's chest."Oh, thanks."

"For what?"

"Saving my life...again."

"I figured I owed you for dragging me along after I fell back there."

"Yeah, turnout gear was not designed to help a person in a run-for-your-life situation." John's attempt at humor gained him a chuckle of agreement from his partner.

Despite the cold of the water that flowed around them, or the heat that still radiated from the lunar-like surroundings, each man fell into a relaxed silence. They were savoring the fact that even though they were a bit uncomfortable, they were still both drawing breath, they were still both alive.

John turned his face into the warm pocket of flesh where Roy's shoulder and neck met. He heard the older man inhale sharply at the sensation, but other than that, Roy made no protest. Even over the smoke that clung to them, John could smell the intoxicating scent of his partner. It seemed the right thing to do just to lay back and breath in Roy's fragrance while being held in his arms.

After a brief pause, Roy lay his cheek against John's wet hair and closed his eyes. Just holding his partner, knowing they had both survived was enough for now. There would be plenty of time later to worry about how to work out their relationship, how they were going to get out of there, how the captain was going to react when he heard the squad was gone. Right at this moment, being alive and in each others arms was enough.

+++++++

An hour later, the rescue helicopter that had been sent to discover why HQ had not heard from squad 51 for some time, came across the burnt out hulk of what looked like some sort of truck, and the only two living creatures for miles huddled together in an ash choked creek. The extraction team was at a loss to explain that despite the fact that the two men were quite battered and obviously suffered from some smoke inhalation, both wore a smile of contentment as they were airlifted to safety.

Part 4

"John Gage, if you don't keep this oxygen mask over your face, I'm going to glue it on," Rampart's head nurse, Dixie McCall threatened as Johnny attempted once again to check on his partner's condition.

"I'm just making sure..." Johnny tried to explain, only to have Dixie place the mask back over his mouth and nose.

"I wouldn't argue with her, Johnny." Doctor Kelly Brackett looked up from his examination of the burns on Roy's hands. "Around here Dixie always gets her way."

"I'm doing fine, Johnny," Roy said to placate his worried partner.

"Well, I don't know about that," the doctor said as he brought his stethoscope to Roy's chest. "You're both suffering from smoke inhalation, and from the sounds of it, your lungs are pretty irritated."

John raised the mask off his face to say something, but the warning look Dixie gave him made him quickly replace it. "How about Roy's burns?" The younger paramedic's muffled voice was full of concern.

"Mostly first degree." Brackett assured him. "There's only slight blistering just below the wrist. Nothing to worry about there. All in all, I'd say you were both very lucky. A couple of days of rest and you should be ready to face down another wall of fire."

"I'll never be ready to face down another wall of fire." Roy disagreed. "There were a couple of minutes there when I was asking myself, 'What kind of fool does this for a living?'"

"See, that proves you're not a fool." Dixie smiled as she straightened the oxygen tube that ran to Roy's nose.

"How's that?" John wondered before pushing the mask back against his face.

"The difference between a fool and a brave man is that a fool rushes into danger feeling no fear. A brave man feels fear, but takes the chance anyway," Dixie quoted. "If you were scared, you weren't a fool."

"Well, I was scared to death," John said.

"I don't think that rule applies to you, Johnny. You could play the fool no matter what." Roy teased.

"Look who's the comedian." John glared at his partner, then turned to Brackett. "So, we're not going to have to stay overnight?"

"Nope." The doctor patted Roy on his shoulder as he finished the examination. "But I do want both of you to take it easy for a day or two. No overworking those lungs. I'm recommending you don't go back on duty, and find some family or friends you can stay with, just in case your lungs start to fill. If your breath becomes more difficult in any way, I want you back in here right away. Do you both have someone you can stay with?"

"We've got that covered, Doc'." John promised. "Can I take this thing off now?" He pulled at the mask.

Dixie just shook her head and smiled before taking the mask from the impatient paramedic.

+++++++

Chet Kelly met the pair in Rampart's waiting room, relief showing in his eyes before he quickly covered it up.

"You guys had us worried sick," Chet lectured. "The least you could have done was stay in touch by the radio."

"Jeez, Chet, I didn't know you cared." John rubbed his eyes as he teased the fire fighter.

"I don't, but you know Cap', he hates the paperwork he's got to fill out to get new men." Chet shot back.

"Well, we were a little busy." Roy offered an excuse. "And handy-talkies don't work so well after they've been soaked in water."

"Did you get to see the squad?" John changed the subject.

"Yeah, I did." Chet sadly shook his head.

"Well, what does it look like?" John snapped out his question.

"Total loss," Chet informed them. "All the rubber just disintegrated and the glass must have exploded in the heat. You wouldn't even know it was the squad by looking at it."

"Damn," John sighed. "I loved that truck."

Roy shot his partner a disbelieving look. "We made it out of there alive and mostly in one piece, and you're upset about the squad?"

"But it was The Squad." John tried to emphasize his point with a wave of his hands.

"Gage, you scare me sometimes." Roy was shaking his head as he walked toward the exit.

"We just left her there to die." John continued to bemoan the fate of the beloved vehicle.

"We'll get a brand new one." Roy shouted over his shoulder.

"It won't ever be the same." John called as he hurried to catch up with his partner.

They left behind an amused Chet Kelly. The fireman wondered how two such opposites personalities got along so well.

"Must be love." Chet said sarcastically as he left to inform the captain of the well being of his two men.

Dixie stood unobtrusively behind the supply counter, smiling to herself.

"Must be," she agreed quietly as she filed away the paper work of her two favorite paramedics.

+++++++

The two men caught a quick ride back to the station with B-shift's paramedics returning from a run. Roy noticed the Johnny was swaying on his feet when they checked on the progress of the fire. It was quite obvious the John needed to get home and get some sleep before he fell over. The senior paramedic snagged Johnny's car keys out of his hand as the younger man stifled a yawn.

"You are yawning almost non-stop." Roy explained, stopping Johnny's protests before they could start. "I'll drive, and you can take a nap until you get to my place."

"We're staying at your place tonight?" John wondered, as he rubbed his eyes.

"No, I'm staying at my place, you can drive to yours from there." Roy answered.

"Oh no, you heard Doctor Brackett. He doesn't want either of us to be alone tonight." John shook his head vigorously.

"I'm fine, and so are you." Roy disagreed.

"Hey, I'm just following doctor's orders." Johnny tried unsuccessfully at hiding his sly grin. "If you don't come over, I'll give him a call, he'll call Cap', and you'll catch holy hell on our next shift." The younger man threatened.

"You wouldn't." Roy's eyes narrowed.

"Try me." John dared him.

"You can be such a pain-in-the-ass." Roy snarled as he turned and walked to Johnny's truck.

Johnny just smiled and followed.

+++++++

They made a quick stop at Roy's home to pick up a few things, where Roy made one last failed attempt to convince Johnny that they would better off sleeping in their own homes. The younger man did not give an inch, quoting Doctor Brackett until Roy felt like strangling both his partner, and the good doctor just for good measures. Finally Roy gave in. It seemed as if John had a way of getting under his defenses and changing his mind. Roy wondered if arguing with his partner would always be a losing battle for him.

"I can not believe how tired I am," John said around yet another huge yawn as he set Roy's bag down by the bedroom door. "I'm going to grab a quick shower, and then I'd like to go to bed."

"I'll make a couple of sandwiches and and when you're done with the shower I'll take mine." Roy offered as he pick up his bag and deliberately moved it over by the couch.

"You are just so domestic." John laughed "Breakfast this morning, a sandwich tonight, at least I know I'll never starve with you around."

"Don't get use to it, junior." Roy warned. "This is only for tonight."

"You'd let me starve?" Johnny put on a poor-waif look.

"You're an idiot." Roy waved at the bathroom door. "Now, hurry up, I want to wash this smoke smell off of me."

"We could always share the shower." John suggested.

"Don't you ever stop?" Roy asked in exasperation.

"Not when it comes to you." John smile then, before Roy could complain further, he ducked into the bathroom.

The warm mist of the shower felt heavenly against John's sore muscles, and for a long time he just stood under the spray, letting it wash away the last of his tensions as well as smoky smell that had seemed to permeate his skin. By the time a fog of steam rose around him, John felt his body relax into a pleasant lethargy.

Johnny stumbled out of the bathroom, half asleep already, mumbling something about it being Roy's turn. Roy smiled at the almost child-like way his partner knuckled his eyes, trying to rub the sleep from them.

When Roy emerged clean and refreshed from the shower, he found there were only two bites out of the younger man's sandwich, and Johnny's head hung over the unfinished food.

"Johnny." Roy prodded his partner gently. "time to go to bed.

"Mmm." John turned his heavy lidded eyes to Roy. "I thought you'd never ask."

"Enough kidding around." Roy sighed. "You just fell asleep over a plate of food. Obviously you're more tired than hungry. Come on, let's get you to bed."

Roy took his partner by the arm and had to almost lift him from the chair. Johnny allowed Roy to lead to the bedroom door, only then did he pull away.

"You are coming with me, aren't you?" Johnny's sleepy look made the question seem much more innocent than it was.

"I'll be right out here on the couch." Roy answered as he tried to lead John to the bed.

John pulled away from Roy. "Then I'll sleep out there too." The younger man headed out towards the sofa.

"We're both not going to fit on the couch." Roy pointed out.

"Then I'll sleep on the floor." John was adamant.

"Why can't you sleep on your bed?" Roy asked as he attempted once again to steer his partner back into his bedroom.

"I've gotta keep an eye on you." The words slurred a bit. "Make sure you're still breathing."

"I tell you what." Roy came up with an idea to placate the exhausted younger man. "I'll come in every now and then to wake you up and tell you I'm fine."

"No." John shook his head. "It's okay, I'll just turn the TV on and watch you sleep."

"Oh, now that makes me feel comfortable," Roy said dryly. "What will it take for you to sleep in your bed tonight?"

"If you're there with me." John answered with a finality that made Roy knew that arguing about this would be a waste of time.

"Johnny," Roy wanted his partner to understand. "Crawling into bed with you is a big step, and I don't know that I can deal with it tonight."

"I know, but I need to know you're okay." John said. "Today, when the fire went over us, I wanted to know your were safe, but I couldn't find the strength to do that. It scared me, Roy. Then, when I knew we both survived...and there you were holding me...it felt..." For the first time since Roy had known him, Johnny seemed at a lost for words. "It felt...uh...safe...right...and I didn't want it to stop. All I needed was you and...oh hell, I don't know what I'm trying to say."

The two men stood staring at each other for a long time, finally Roy grabbed John's arm and lead him to the bed.

"We're just going to sleep." Roy dictated the rules.

"Okay."

"No touching, stroking, kissing, and NO trying to seduce me."

John nodded.

"One false move, and I'm out on the couch with you staying in bed."

"I'm too tired to make any false moves."

"Okay, but I mean it. If this is one of your sneak attack seductions, I'm going to..."

"No sneak attack, no seduction, just sleep, scout's honor." John held up two fingers in a pledge.

"As if you were ever a scout."Roy grumbled as he stripped down to his boxers.

Johnny followed suite before crawling under the covers. The cool, clean sheets felt wonderful next to his skin. He felt the bed dip as Roy settled in on the far side. John couldn't help but notice that if Roy attempted to lay any further away from him, he would be falling onto the floor, but Gage was too sleepy to get into an argument over it. It was enough to have Roy here.

With a deep sigh, John reached up and turned off the light. plunging the room into darkness.

The steady sound of each other's breathing lulled both men into a deep dreamless sleep.