COPYRIGHT Jan. 2000, BY: K-rock

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED. FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT.

THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE
CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: The Sound of Silence....A World of Darkness

Author: K-rock

E-mail: rock39-k@webtv.net

Rated: SLASH

Pairing: Roy/Johnny

Archive: Yes, EHA only. Any others, please ask.

Content Warning: Angst and love and sex between two men.

Author's Notes, Reserve and Restriction: This is probably too long of a title, but it was the only one I could think of. I don't know how long it will be, but this one was bugging me.

The Sound of Silence....A World of Darkness
By K-rock

"Station 51, Station 18, Station 36, Batallion 3, Truck 103 Warehouse fire at the Acme Warehouse Lot. 1122 Langly Road. 1122 Langly Road. Cross street, Pacific Ave. Time out 01:45"

"Station 51, KMG 365" Captain Hank Stanley responds as he quickly jots down the address and hands one to Roy DeSoto before hurrying over to climb into the engine, as Mike Stoker drives off into the night.

"This is probably gonna be a bad one, Mike. That Acme Warehouse houses some fireworks." Capt. Stanley explains as they drive toward the fire.

They arrive at the fire amid controlled pandimonium. Chief House gets everyone going where they are supposed to go as the fire rages closer to the warehouse with the fireworks. Roy and Johnny work a hose line together in front of the warehouse, but no one notices the sparks ignite
the back of the building.

All of a sudden, there is a huge explosion, and Roy and Johnny are knocked off their feet and thrown about 30 feet in the air, the water hose spraying wildly as Johnny loses control of it.

Cap sees Roy and Johnny go flying through the air, and immediately calls for another squad and an ambulance as he runs over to check on them.

After a few minutes, Roy sits up, rubbing the back of his head. Cap looks at him with concern, "Are you OK, Pal? You took quiet a path through the air!"

Roy nods, "Yeah, I think so. My head hurts a little bit. Where's Johnny?"

Cap points on the ground beside him, "He's right here. He has a strong pulse, but he hasn't moved since he landed."

Roy gently moves over to Johnny, checking his pulse for himself, sighing with relief as he feels a bounding pulse. Cap helps him get Johnny's helmet and breathing mask off. Roy gets his flashlight, and checks his pupils. He glances at Cap with a worried look.

"What's wrong, Roy?"

Roy shakes his head, "Cap, I am getting no pupil response. Between the explosion and the fall, he might have landed just right to be temporarily blinded."

He leans over and checks his ears for fluid, and just shakes his head, "He has a little bit of fluid in his ears, which is not good."

Roy sits back as Squad 13 hurries over. Tom Dwyer and Charlie Smith are the Paramedics, and Roy fills them in on the situation, but Cap mentions to them that Roy needs to be checked to. Roy just has a minor concussion, but rides in in the ambulance with Tom and Johnny.

When they get to the hospital, Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early and Dixie work on Johnny, while Dr. Morton tends to an antsy Roy. He concurs that it is a slight concussion, and tells him he needs to go home and go to bed, but knowing that he won't, he just tells him to try to take it easy and get plenty of rest.

Roy hurries to the exam room where Johnny is, but Dixie won't let him in, and takes him to the lounge.

"Dix! Tell me the truth! He is blind and deaf, isn't he? Dix, I checked him out! He had no pupil response, and he had fluid in his ears!"

Dix takes a deep breath, and they sit down, "Roy, he is blind, but it could be temporary. They won't know until they get an optomologist to examine him thoroughly. He hasn't regained consciousness so we don't know for sure that he is deaf. How close were you guys to the
explosion?"

Dixie dreaded the answer because she knew they were right there in the midst of things. Roy takes a deep breath, and explains where they were.

"Dix, we were right in front of the building when it exploded. We sailed about 30 feet through the air. I landed more on my butt, but also hit my head. Morton looked at me, and I have a slight concussion. Johnny landed hard on his tank, and hit his head pretty hard. Oh, Dix! I am so scared! I love him so much! He loves his job so much, that it is gonna kill him if he has to quit working. But, if he does, I will be right beside him, taking care of him."

Dix pats his hand, "I know you do, Roy, and I know you will be there for him."

They both look up as the door opens, and a weary Dr. Brackett comes in, and walks over to get a cup of coffee, before joining Roy and Dix at the table.

"Roy, Johnny is blind, which I know you already knew. We don't know if it is permanant or not, but he hit his head so hard that some blood vessels ruptured, and there is a lot of muscle tears, and also a large hematoma behind his right eye, which we are reducing with medicine. I am afraid he is gonna be deaf, just from the tremendous blast. Are you sure your ears are OK?"

Roy nods, "Yeah, they are fine. Doc, when will you know for sure whether all this is permanant?"

Dr. Brackett sits back, and crosses his arms over his chest, "When all the swelling goes down. For right now, we don't want to do any surgery, but he is on some strong antibiotics to fight infection and reduce the hematoma. I want you by his side, because he is probably gonna be hysterical when he wakes up. We are gonna move him to ICU right now, so you can go ahead and go with him."

Roy stands up, shaking Dr. Brackett's hand, "Thanks Doc."

Roy leaves the lounge, and they are moving Johnny. He follows them up, and when they get Johnny settled in the room, Roy is right beside him, holding his hand, talking softly to him, even though he is not sure he can hear him...or if he will ever hear him again. Overcome with exhaustion, Roy lays his head on the bed beside Johnny, and falls asleep.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

A few hours later Roy wakes up when he feels some movement under his hands. He looks up and Johnny is tossing and turning, his hands trying to reach out for anything or anybody, and pulling at the bandage over his eyes. Roy grabs both of Johnny's hands to calm him down, to let him know he is right there, and to keep him from pulling out the IV's or pulling off the bandage.

"Babe, it's OK. I am right here. Johnny, can you hear me?"

Johnny calms down a little at the touch of Roy's hands on his, and turns his head toward Roy.

"Roy?" Johnny says quietly at first, and then louder when he realizes he can't hear himself, "ROY! WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE AM I? HELP ME!!!"

Roy caresses his face, and leans close to his left ear to see if he can hear him, "JOHNNY! CALM DOWN! CAN YOU HEAR ME AT ALL?"

"ROY??? YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE IN A WELL! I CAN JUST BARELY HEAR YOU!"

Roy closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, and moves over to his right ear, "JOHNNY! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?"

Johnny nods, "YEAH, A LITTLE BETTER!!!"

Roy lowers his voice some so he is not yelling quite so loud. "Johnny? Can you hear me now?"

A grin comes on Johnny's face, "Roy, I can just barely hear you, but I take it we were yelling."

Roy squeezes his hand to let him know he is correct. Roy gets down close to Johnny's right ear and explains what is going on.

"Johnny! Listen to me! There was an explosion and we were thrown through the air about 30 feet! I am OK! I just have a slight concussion, and a big bruise on my ass! You landed pretty hard, Babe! Your eyes are covered to protect them from the light and to give them a chance to heal while the swelling goes down! I am right here beside you and I am not going anywhere! Do you understand me? I love you and I am gonna be right beside you!"

Johnny nods, and Roy notices a tear escape from under the bandage, and Johnny just grips his hand tigher. Roy looks around to make sure no one is nearby and then he leans over and kisses him tenderly on the lips, and brings his hand up to his face, holding it tightly. Johnny relaxes and before long he is asleep.

A short while later, Dr. Brackett and Dixie come in to see Roy holding Johnny's hand tightly against his face, and Roy is asleep next to Johnny. They smile at each other, and Dr. Brackett wakes Roy up.

"Roy, wake up!"

Roy jumps a bit at the touch, and looks up to see Dr. Brackett and Dixie. "Doc, he was awake for a little bit. He doesn't have much hearing in his left ear. He said it sounds like we were talking in a well, and we were yelling at the time. He can hear better out of his right ear. He knows what happened, and we are both a little scared."

Dr. Brackett pats him on the back, "I know you are Roy. I am gonna examine his eyes and see if the swelling has gone down any."

Roy leans over and speaks to Johnny, "Johnny! Are you awake?"

"Yeah. My head is pounding though."

Dr. Brackett leans closer to his ear, "Johnny, it's Dr. Brackett. I am gonna examine your eyes, and then maybe I can give you something for your head. Do your eyes hurt at all?"

Johnny moans slightly, "My whole head hurts, Doc. But, it scares me worse that I can't hear very well. Is that permanant?"

"Johnny, I don't know yet. We have to wait until all the swelling goes down. Now, we are gonna unwrap your eyes, and you let me know if you can see any light."

Dr. Brackett unwraps his eyes, and examines them carefully. Johnny only flinches slightly when he examines his right eye. "Can you see anything out of your right eye, Johnny?"

"No, not really. I can tell when someone stands in the light, but I can't make out shapes or anything."

"Well, the swelling has gone down a little bit, but there is still a lot behind your left eye. There were also some rutured blood vessels, and some muscle tears. It is gonna be a long recovery period, Johnny. But, you know that Roy is right here beside you, don't you?"

Johnny smiles and nods, "Yeah, I know. I knew he was beside me as soon as I woke up."

Dr. Brackett smiles at Roy, "OK Johnny, I am gonna put some drops in your eyes, and then rebandage your eyes. I am glad you can hear a little bit!"

"Doc, can you give me something for the pounding in my head?"

"Sure, Johnny. Hang in there, OK."

Dr. Brackett writes out an order for some pain medication for Johnny, and then puts the drops in his eyes, rebandages them, and leaves.

Johnny reaches out for Roy's hand after Dr. Brackett and Dixie leave.Roy grabs hold of his hand, and holds it tight.

"Roy. I am so scared! I know I probably won't be able to work again, and I may never see again, but I need to hear! I don't know if I could live in a world of darkness AND silence."

"Johnny! You are gonna make it! We will get through this together! I love you very much!"

"I love you, too, but I don't want to be a burden on you!"

"You will never be a burden on me. Please let me take care of you! We will find something we can do together!"

"What? You can't quit your job!"

"Calm down, Johnny. I am not gonna quit for right now. Let's wait and see what happens."

"Roy, hold me. Please hold me."

Roy carefully lays next to Johnny in the bed, and holds him close. Thirty minutes later when Dixie comes in to give some medicine to Johnny, she smiles at the scene of contentment in the bed. She quietly injects the medicine into Johnny's IV, and leaves, pulling a "no visitor" sign on the door.

Johnny stays in the hospital for two weeks. By the time he leaves to go home with Roy, he has 20% hearing in his left ear and 75% hearing in his right ear. He cannot see at all out of his left eye, and can see shapes and distinguish between light and dark out of his right eye. Most of the swelling has gone down, but it will take awhile for the tears to completely heal and the blood vessels to heal.

Roy takes a leave of absence from his job to take care of Johnny, who, for the time being, is on long-term disability.

Roy helps Johnny get into bed, and starts to leave, when Johnny grabs his arm.

"Roy! Don't leave me! Please don't leave me!"

Roy lays down beside him and holds him in his arms, "Johnny, I am right here and I am not gonna leave you. I thought maybe you wanted to get some sleep, because I know coming home from the hospital can tire you out."

"Roy, I need you beside me. Please stay with me!"

"OK, I am right here, Babe. But, I need to go put the medicine in the fridge and lock up. I will be right back."

Roy quickly locks up, and puts the medicine up, and then he undresses, and lays in bed beside Johnny, both of them only wearing t-shirts and briefs.

"I am right here, Johnny. I love you. Everything is gonna be OK."

Johnny cuddles up to Roy, running his hand over Roy's face, caressing and touching.

"Roy?"

"Yes, Babe?"

"Please make love to me! I need to feel you inside me. We haven't made love in so long!"

"Uh, Johnny, I don't know if we can. Dr. Brackett said one of the side effects to all this, could be that you can't sustain an erection."

Johnny laughs, "Yes, I can! I have jacked off twice in the hospital!"

Roy raises up and looks at him, "You did? Johnny! For a week I have been so scared that we weren't gonna be able to make love! When did you jack off?"

"Once, I woke up in the middle of the night when you weren't there. You had gone to work your last shift, and I woke up horny. Dix happened to come in just as I exploded and she cleaned me up. And then the other day, I got up and went to the bathroom, and jacked off in there. When did Dr. Brackett tell you that?"

Roy smiles, "About a week ago. I guess Dix forgot to mention to him that you could!"

Johnny shakes his head, "I told her not to tell anybody! Roy, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Would you have left me?"

Roy replies by giving Johnny a great big long kiss, and then backs away, "Does that answer your question? I love you very much! Johnny, I give you my word and my solomn promise that I will never leave you or forsake you. I have been with you for the better and I will be with you for the worse. I have been with you when you are well, and I am gonna be here with you when you are sick. OK?"

Johnny nods, "OK. Now, please make love to me!"

Roy takes Johnnys hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing it and running it over his lips. "Can you tell how much I am smiling?"

Johnny nods, and then Roy takes his hand and places it on his crotch, letting Johnny feel how aroused he is. "Can you tell how much I am aroused?"

Johnny grins, "Oh! So that's how happy you are to see me!"

"You better believe it!"

Roy lays over Johnny and kisses his way down his body. He lays between Johnny's legs and sucks and licks slowly up and down his long cock. He spits on his fingers, and then moves them down to Johnny's hole, rubbing and preparing him for his entry.

Slowly and carefully, Roy positions himself at Johnny's hole. Johnny raises his legs up and wraps them around Roy's waist as Roy enters him.

"Ohhhh Baby! You are so tight! You feel so good!"

Johnny groans as Roy pushes all the way in. "Ohhhh Roy! You feel so good in me! Come on and fuck me Babe! Your big ole hard cock feels so good!"

Roy leans over and takes Johnny's mouth with his, kissing him deeply as he fucks him hard and fast. Roy grabs ahold of Johnny's cock, pulling it hard and fast in the same motion, and before long, they are both screaming out their love for each other as they cum in a violent explosion.

Roy holds Johnny in his arms as they get their breathing back to normal. Johnny cuddles up to Roy, and they fall asleep in each others arms.

For the next three months, Roy is at home helping Johnny, but also both of them are revising some Paramedic Training Procedures Booklets for Dr. Brackett. Johnny is due to go for a check-up to find out the exact extent of his blindness and deafness, but he knows he will no longer get to be a Paramedic. Dr. Brackett has talked with them about working with him on Paramedic training, and they are also in discussions with the Fire Department on a new position that is being created.

Johnny is nervous about finding out exactly what his losses are, but he is just thankful he has some hearing and some sight. Roy rearranged the kitchen to make things easier for Johnny to find, and they got a phone amplifier on the phone so that Johnny could not only hear it ring, but talk on it.

On a Monday morning, four months after the accident, Roy takes Johnny for a check-up with Dr. Brackett, Dr. Ranger, the Optomologist, and Dr. Mission, the Audiologist. After four hours of tests, tests, and more tests, they go to Dr. Brackett's office for the results. Roy smiles when they walk in, because Dixie, Joe Early, and Capt. Stanley are also in there.

Roy leans over to talk to Johnny, "Johnny, do you see that Dix, Dr. Early, and Cap are in here?"

Johnny turns his head and squints, and then smiles as he makes out who is there. They sit down and Dr. Brackett gives them the findings.

"Well," Dr. Brackett begins, clearing his throat, "Johnny, you know your sight and your hearing has somewhat improved over the last four months, don't you?"

Johnny nods, and reaches over to take Roy's hand in his, "Yeah, Doc, it is better, but I know it's not gonna be like it was."

"That's true, Johnny. You only have 80% vision in your right eye, and 25% in your left eye. Dr. Ranger said that could be improved a little bit with some very strong glasses, but you don't want to do that, do you?"

Johnny shakes his head, "No, there is no reason to. They won't help all that much."

Dr. Brackett nods and continues, "As far as your hearing goes, it has improved. You have 90% hearing in your right ear, and 25% hearing in your left ear, which is gonna improve when you get a hearing aid, correct?"

Johnny smiles, "Correct. I can deal with being blind. I just can't deal with not hearing. Actually, I shouldn't say I am blind, because I am not blind, just vision impaired!"

They all laugh, and Roy squeezes his hand. Dr. Brackett continues, "Well, you also know you are not gonna be able to be a Paramedic, but Capt. Stanley has something he wants to say."

Johnny smiles, and turns toward Cap. Cap moves a little closer to Johnny so he can see him.

"Johnny, you and Roy are two important assets to the Fire Department, and after talking to the Chief, who by the way was unable to be here today, you both are being promoted to Captain, and will work with Dr. Brackett in Paramedic Training. Johnny, the Chief feels like just because you lost your sight, we shouldn't lose you. You are a smart young man, and he feels you have a lot to offer to the Paramedic program. So, if you will both stand up...."

Roy and Johnny stand up and Cap pins their Captain bars to their shirts, and they all shake hands, and Dix hugs both of them.

Dr. Brackett speaks to both of them when the other leave, "I know this will work out great. Johnny, sometimes we wonder why things happen the way the do, but in this case I think it worked out for the best."

Johnny smiles, "So do I, Doc. So do I. When this first happend, somehow I knew I was finished being a Paramedic, so I guess I was never all that bitter, because I felt like something good was gonna come out of this. The only thing that scared me was that I was gonna never hear again. Even if I was totally blind, I think I could accept that as long as I didn't lose my hearing, too. Roy has been a great help and he redid our whole kitchen so I can find things, and I have even cooked, with his help, of course."

"Well, that's great, Johnny, and I know you two will be a tremendous help in the Paramedic Training."

Roy and Johnny say goodbye and leave. Roy stops at the Pharmacy to get the prescription filled for eyedrops that Johnny has to have everyday. Johnny is nearly asleep when they get home, and he helps him out of the car, and into the house, and up to bed.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

For the next eight months Roy and Johnny work hard at getting a new Paramedic Training program off the ground with the help of Dr. Brackett. Tom Dwyer and Charlie Smith are also promoted and are assistants to Roy and Johnny.

Because Johnny knows that his eyesight will not get better, but worse, and his hearing will gradually dimenish, he and Roy learn sign language and Braille.

When Johnny had his six month check-up, the sight in his left eye was much worse, as was the hearing in his left ear. They use sign language as much as they can, but Roy works harder on learning Braille and teaching it to Johnny. Tom and Charlie have also learned it.

In the Paramedic Training classes, Johnny lectures on a lot of the field procedures before the Trainees actually go out and work. He may be partially blind and deaf, but he has amazed more than one class with his quick wit, and his uncanny sense of knowing when someone is trying to get by without studying or just try to get something by on Johnny because of his disablity.

One year after the accident, Roy and Johnny are sound asleep, spooned up against each other. Roy wakes up and turns over, and takes Johnny in his arms, kissing him deeply. Johnny begins to stir, and a smile comes on his face as he feels Roy's aroused penis pressing into his leg.

"Hmmm, Babe! You feel good!"

Roy smiles, and pulls him closer, feeling Johnny's hard cock press into his leg. "So do you Babe!"

Johnny starts to open his eyes, and blinks several times, and then rubs his left eye. Roy frowns when he notices that Johnny's left eye looks like a lazy eye.

"Johnny? What's wrong?"

Johnny shakes his head, "Roy, I can't see. I can tell there is a little bit of light in the room through my left eye, but I can't see. My right eye seems to be fine, but I guess I have lost the sight in left eye now."

Roy is amazed at the calmness in which Johnny relates this to him, "Babe? Are you OK? You sound so calm!"

Johnny smiles, "Roy, it's been getting gradually worse. I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later. I am thankful I can still see out of my right eye."

Roy holds Johnny close to his chest, and they lay there quietly for a few minutes, "I guess we better make the appointment for your yearly check-up. Are you scared, Babe?"

Johnny sighs, "Yeah a little, but I am glad you are here beside me. As long as I can hold on to your hand, I will be fine."

Roy smiles, and kisses him, "I will always hold your hand. I love you so much! I hate for you to suffer though!"

Johnny leans back and looks at Roy, "Roy Wayne, I am not suffering. I would be suffering if I was alone, but I have you. As long as I have you by my side, I will be fine."

Tears come to Roy's eyes as he looks deep into Johnny's eyes, "Baby, that scares me. Because what if something happens to me....."

Johnny interrupts him, "Don't say that. Nothing is gonna happen to you!" Johnny tries to bury his head in Roy's chest, but Roy forces him to look at him.

"John Roderick, look at me. I do worry about you, because something could happen to me. We need to decide what we will do, or who will take care of you if something does happen to me."

Tears begin to fall from both of Johnny's eyes and he tries to turn over and get up, but Roy stops him.

"You can't avoid the subject Johnny. I love you and I don't want you to be all alone."

Johnny lays back on the bed, and covers his eyes as he lays there crying. Deep, heart-wrenching sobs burst from him, and Roy just grabs him and holds on, knowing that he has just made Johnny face the future, and he has finally come to grips with his disablitlies. Roy knows that while John had understood that he was blind and deaf, and would be for the rest of his life, Johnny had never really accepted the fact that he was disabled and would have to depend on someone for the rest of his life. And if that someone wasn't Roy, Johnny couldn't handle it.

For an hour Roy holds Johnny in his arms, as Johnny alternates between crying his heart out and sleeping. Roy listens to the birds chirping outside the window, listens as their neighbor mows his grass, listens to all the activity going on outside that room in the rest of the world, while a man inside the room comes to an acceptance that he will never see all that goes on, or hears all that goes on outside that window, out in the real world.

After awhile, Johnny settles down, and looks at Roy, "Thank you. I'm sorry for falling apart on you."

Roy gently kisses him, "That's OK. I was afraid that was what was gonna happen, because I knew you hadn't totally accepted the fact that all this was permanent."

Johnny nods, "I know. I guess I just was playing along, but not really believing that what was happening, was really happening."

Roy tips his face up, "Will you listen to me now?"

Johnny nods, "Yes."

"Johnny, if something should happen to me, and I become disabled, and cannot care for you, or should die, Hank has already told me that he will take care of you. If Hank is not living, or not able to care for you, then either Mike, Marco, Chet, Tom, or Charlie will take care of you."

"Roy, if you die, they won't need to take care of me, because I will probably die of a broken heart. But, if I don't, I can go back and live with my family. But, lets don't talk about death anymore! Make love to me, Baby! I need to feel you inside me!" Roy smiles, and takes Johnny in his arms, kissing him deeply and passionately as he makes slow sweet love to him.

Later that day Roy takes Johnny to the doctor, and it is confirmed that he is legally blind in his left eye, with slight improvement in his right eye. The hearing in his left ear is at 10%, and 70% in his right ear, but his hearing aid makes the hearing in both ears a lot better.

Through the next several years the Paramedic Training Program improves and succeeds by leaps and bounds, with Roy being promoted to Chief of Paramedic Training in 1983, and Charlie Smith is his assistant.

Johnny's sight went from bad to much worse in two year's time, due to an eye infection. A year later he was totally blind in both eyes, and depended on Roy for everything. They were able to communicate in braille and loud talking.

Johnny had to resign from the Department in 1981 when he was not only totally blind, but totally deaf in his left ear, and very little hearing in right ear.

On Jan. 13, 1983, Johnny died in Roy's arms from a bacterial infection that he was too weak to fight. Johnny refused to go to the hosptial. He knew he was dying, and wanted to die at home in the arms of his lover. He was surrounded by Hank Stanley, Mike Stoker, Chet Kelly, Marco

Lopez,

Dr. Brackett, and Dixie.

Johnny's last words to Roy were, "I love you, Sweetheart" and he took his last breath and died.

In 1984 a new Paramedic Training Building was built and the John Roderick Gage Paramedic Training Facilites was dedicated to his memory.

K-rock