COPYRIGHT 1999, BY:squirt51

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANYPREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED. FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT.

THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE
CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: I knew it all along....Now What?

Author: squirt51

Rated: NC-17?/Slash

Pairing: Johnny/Roy

Archive: Yes, please

Content Warning: Just a little sex.

Author's Notes, Reserve and Restriction: Ok, I wrote part 1 of this story and sent it to my room mate for fun. She surprised the hell out of me by writing Part 2. We went back and forth with it for a while and you can read on to find out where we ended up. So odd parts and the epilogue are mine, even parts are my room mates. Just wanted to clear that up so as not to take credit for chapters I did not write.

I Knew It All Along....Now What?
by squirt51

John stepped off the bus and entered station 51. It was 8am and it was Monday. The weekend had been a bust. The new cute nurse at Rampart had finally accepted a date with Johnny after 2 weeks of him asking. As it turned out, she didn't really want to go out with him, she just invited
him over for dinner so that afterwards, he'd fix her garbage disposal. "Women- who needs them?" John thought to himself.

This morning when John woke up, he walked out to his car only to find that some neighborhood hoodlums had slashed one of his tires. And as if that was not bad enough, John's spare was also flat. John decided very early this morning that this day was going to be just awful.

As he walked into the lockeroom he noticed his partner Roy over by his locker getting dressed. And at this particular moment, he was pulling down his jeans in order to change into his uniform pants.

John caught a glimpse of Roy's ass. "Maybe this wasn't going to be such a bad day after all," John thought to himself.

"Hi ya, Roy," John said, as he too dropped his drawers in order to get into his uniform. In 10 minutes, both were dressed and on their way into the kitchen to get that first cup of Mike Stoker's wonderful coffee.

Just then the dispatcher's voice came over the loud speaker.

Station 51: structure fire. 2207 Ventura. Cross street: Temple. 2-2-0-7 Ventura.

John and Roy headed straight for their squad. The other members of station 51 filed out into the bay area and onto the Engine.

******

The scene they pulled up to was chaos. A man wearing a gaurd's uniform came running to the men. "You gotta help us, he pleaded. Charly is still in there!"

"Where?" John asked with authority.

"Over in that side of the building!" He said as he pointed to the east end of the building, which was fully involved in flames. John and Roy both looked at each other and then back to the gaurd. Apprehension all over their faces.

"I'm sure!" The guard reiterated.

With no more hesitation, John and Roy put on their gear and headed into the flames.

*****

Once in the building, John and Roy began to make a sweep of the first floor to find the missing man. After a quick but thorough search, they had come up empty. John tapped Roy on the shoulder and pointed upstairs. Roy nodded his head in agreement and the two fireman made their way to the second floor.

They decided to start with the back room. As they worked their way around, they called out for Charly. There was no answer. Just then, a loud crash was heard and both John and Roy felt the floor beneath them disappear. The fire had reached a point in the building where it was doing structural damage and the floor caving in was a direct result.

*******

After several minutes, Roy came to. His head really hurt and he was having a hard time remembering just what happened. Then he noticed his partner John laying on the floor about 6 feet away from him. There were pieces of a ceiling, or maybe a floor-Roy couldn't tell- laying across John's unmoving body. "The cave in," Roy remembered.

Roy managed to shake the cobwebs out of his head and rush to the side of his best friend. "Johnny, Can you hear me?" Roy asked as his voice trembled. No response. Roy removed his gloves and slipped his hands into John's turnout coat and through the buttons on his shirt. He wanted to make sure John's heart was still beating and without a stethescope, this was the best way he could think of. Roy couldn't help but briefly make a mental note how smooth John's skin was. Soft as a baby's bottom. Then as a distracted after thought, Roy wondered to himself, "Why did I just do that? I could have just checked his neck?"

Just then, John groaned, waking Roy up from his disjointed thoughts.

"Johnny?" He called again- "can you hear me?"

"Is that you Roy," John asked weekly.

"Yeah, Junior, it's me." Roy replied. "Look John, the floor caved in and there's a lot of rubble on top of you. Too much for me to remove myself. I'm going to have to try to get some help." Roy began to get up but stopped when he felt a vague pressure on his pants leg.

"No Roy, wait. Don't leave me," John pleaded. "The Cap know's which part of the building we went into. He'll send the guys, I'm sure. Please, Don't leave me here alone."

"But John, they'll find us faster if..." Roy's voice trailed off. He saw the fear and begging in his partner's eye's. He didn't want to leave him. He couldn't leave him. Instead, Roy knelt back down to Johnny's side and grabbed John's right hand in his and squeezed. "It's going to be OK," he told Johnny. "I'm right here."

Roy's soothing voice made John feel alot better. But just then, John began to shiver.

"Johnny, what's wrong pal?" Roy asked with true concern.

"I think I'm going into shock Roy," John said. "I'm really starting to feel cold."

Roy removed some of the top layers of debrie off Johnny. He then slid himself underneath John's back and pulled slightly on John's upper torso so that now Johnny was laying across his lap. Roy cradled his best friend in his arms and began to rock him gently.

"Hang in there, pal. Help will be here soon." He was reassuring himself more than anything.

"I don't know, Roy, suddenly I feel a little better." John grabbed hold of Roy's arm. "This may sound strange but for some reason, I hope the guys don't find us right away," John said as he continued to stroke Roy's arm.

Roy could not beleive his ears (or eye's for that matter). Did he just hear what he thought he just heard? Or was John just too groggy to be making sense. As odd as it sounded though, Roy could not help but agree with his partner's crazy comment. For some reason which Roy could not explain, Holding Johnny in his arms just felt right.

Roy squeezed his arms a little tighter around Johnny.

"Roy," John began.... "There's something I need to tell you."

"I think I already know Johnny. Somehow I think I've always known. And with that Roy leaned in closer to Johnny and kissed him...."

Part 2

All of a sudden the wall behind them came crashing down and Chet and Marco came storming through the dust and smoke.

Roy and Johnny quickly pulled their lips away from one another and looked nervously up at the guys.

"Taking a break you guys, the "real" firemen are all out there putting this one out." said Chet, smiling through his cheesy mustache.

Marco was already at Johnny's side helping Roy to get him uncovered. Once Chet pitched in, Johnny's crumpled body was cleared off in no time.

"Go out to the Squad and get the gear" said Roy to Marco and Chet "I don't want to move him until we know if he has suffered any spinal trauma."

"You two going to be OK in here alone?" asked Chet

"Yeah, don't worry" said Roy thinking guiltily about what had just taken place between the two friends. "We'll be fine." But in his head he wondered...."would they?"

As Chet and Marco walked away, Roy went back over to Johnny's side and knelt down. Johnny's eyes were closed so Roy took his hand and held it gently in his own.

All of a sudden he felt it squeeze and he looked over to meet Johnny's gaze. As the four eyes set upon each other there was a moment when all was alright-it was comfortable-and neither needed to speak to understand what the other was feeling.

Out of the corner of his eye, Roy saw men emerging out of the hole in the wall again, and he quickly began to take Johnny's pulse. "Men don't hold hands," he thought to himself and suddenly he wished he had spoken to Johnny in the few minutes they had had alone.

He needed to know what was going on in Johnny's head. How were they supposed to handle this. What would happen tomorrow? The next time they were alone together? Best friends don't kiss each other, but he had wanted it so much. Could something that felt so right really be wrong? Roy had a million unanswered questions in his head and his heart ached at the thought of having to give up that feeling of the two of them so close to one another. His mind raced while his body went through the usual motions. Before he knew it he was at Rampart, still at Johnny's side, worried about his friend suddenly for a million new reasons.

Dr. Brackett had confirmed that Johhny had a concussion and a lot of bruising to his vertebrae but thankfully no permanent spinal damage. He would be up and walking around again in a week or so.

"Roy, why don't you go home now." said Dr. Brakett .

Roy couldn't explain that he would rather be here in a hospital watching Johnny sleep than at home with his wife, so he decided he would have to leave.

He took one last long look at Johnny's peacefully sleeping face.....and left Rampart.

He returned to the station and he dealt with the temporary replacement that had been sent over to fill out the end of their shift.

******

The next week dragged by slowly with out Johnny at work. Roy would have never thought that he would miss the hairbrained schemes and the ever so shallow, deep philosophical discussions they usually had. But without John, the job was just a job and the days all began to run together.

******

Finally, he came through the door of the locker room and there was Johnny. He had pictured this moment every day since he last saw him but suddenly he had no idea how to act. He wanted to rush over and take him in his arms but what if that wasn't what John wanted? What if he wanted to forget about the whole thing?

"How are you feeling?" asked Roy trying to sound professional and not too personal.

"I'm a little stiff" replied Johnny. Roy swallowed hard trying not to let his thoughts wander there.

"The Doc said my back would be sore for another week or so but thought that getting back to work would be better for me than sitting around." Johnny elaborated. "How are you feeling?" He said, eluding to the beginning of a conversation neither of them really wanted to have.

Without meaning to Roy began speaking softly, cautiously at first, trying to feel out how Johnny felt. He was a man of few words, but these needed to be said. He revealed his concerns over their friendship and what if the guys found out....

Finally after about five minutes of hushed discussion he admitted, "I know I am overthinking this but I just can't seem to stop...."

With that Johnny grabbed him around the waist, pulled him close, and kissed him...HARD.

Then he released him. "Ok, I've stopped." said Roy, his head still swimming slightly.

Johnny smiled at him that warm, slightly crooked, sincere smile that Roy knew so well.

Roy leaned in to kiss him again and he could feel his pulse quicken as his hands rested on Johnny's strong shoulders, then down his back and over his...." but wait," he thought as he pulled away. They were standing in the middle of the locker room and any minute someone could walk in.

Johnny followed his partners cautious eyes as he looked around double checking that they hadn't yet been discovered.

"We can't do this here." said Roy

"Yeah, I know it's a big risk." Johnny agreed reluctantly "But where?"

"We'll have to figure that out later. For right now we should get out there where everyone can see us. No need to arouse suspicions." Roy said.

"We never aroused suspicions before Roy, only we know that things have changed." Johnny explained.

"Yeah, but what if that change is written all over our faces AND our actions. We need to be more careful now." Roy said sort of forebiddingly.

******

So the two men went through the rest of the day as always. Sure there were furtive, stolen glances every now and then as there had been before but now they allowed each other to "catch" them doing it. It was their own personal secret. and they needed to make sure it stayed that way.

*****

Their last run had been a late one that night and they returned to the station well after everyone was asleep. All Roy wanted was to take a shower and get some sleep.

He stripped down, so tired that he was unaware that Johnny was at his locker. He got into the shower and sighed as the warm water soothed his tired, aching body.

Then the shower door opened, slowly, quietly.....and Johnny was there....wordless.

He stepped into the shower calmly with a directness in his eyes that excited Roy.

Roy couldn't have uttered a word if he had wanted to as Johnny began to gently kiss his neck....then his chest.

Johnny looked Roy straight in the eyes as he bent to kneel on the shower floor.

Roy shut his eyes. He couldn't believe this was happening. It was one of his fantasies coming to life....and it was better than he had ever imagined it!

He felt Johnny's hands on his thighs...his touch was so gentle...

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew there was a station full of men only a few yards away, sleeping, but he wouldn't stop Johnny tonight. He couldn't. He had wanted this for too long. It was all like a dream.

And then the claxons went off.....

Part 3

Roy knew that when the time came for him and John to finally express their love for one another, there'd be fireworks. "Funny," he thought. "I can almost hear them."

"Oh shit!" John exclaimed as he stood straight up and looked at Roy with terror in his eye's.

Just then Roy realized that it was not the sound of fireworks exploding in his head but rather the station's claxons sounding, alerting them to a run.

Station 51, Engine 46, Squad 38: Structure fire. Cobblestone Apartment complex. 280 Cobblestone road.

Roy thought quickly. "OK, John, calm down. My Pants and t-shirt are on the sink."

"But all I have are my turnout pants and boots." John said nervously.

They both ran out of the shower and headed for their clothing. Roy and Johnny both dressed as quickly as they could not wasting time to even dry off. Roy ran to his locker which thankfully was located on the other side of the shower and grabbed a clean uniform shirt. John was not as fortunate. Because he had only worn his bedside turn out gear to the shower, a uniform shirt would look suspicious.

Roy reached into his locker and pulled out his fireman's blue uniform jacket. "Here, put this on," he yelled to John.

John slipped it over his shoulders and the two of them ran through the door.

As they ran across the bay area, they saw the other guys rushing onto the engine. Hank was at the mic feverishly writing down the address of the fire.

Both John and Roy hoped that at this late hour, none of the other men would be alert enough to realize that they were both running in from the bathroom and not at all dressed appropriatly.

But such wasn't the case. Chet had noticed. It wasn't so suspicious that the two men were emerging from the bathroom at the same time. He could even account for the mismatched wardrobe. Sometimes late at night, you don't get fully dressed in order to take a leak. But what Chet couldn't quite explain was why both these men's clothes seemed to be sticking to them and why BOTH their heads of hair were dripping wet. Chet also noticed that the jacket John was wearing seemed to be rather loose fitting.

Chet looked over at Marco who was sitting in the engine seet across from him. "Hey, Marco," he whispered, and then crooked his head in the direction of the running paramedics.

Marco gave Chet a wink and the two men shared a private laugh.

********

That last run took all night it seemed. When the engine company got there, they found out there was at least two wings of the complex involved. Fortunately, Everyone had gotten out safely and John, Roy and squad 38 were only called upon to treat mild smoke inhalation and minor bruises.

One resident however was in his late 70's. He too was suffering from smoke inhalation and was experiencing trouble breathing. Because of his age, Rampart had requested he be tranported to them for a follow up examination.

Roy rode in with the patient which left John to drive the squad over.

As Johnny followed the sirens of the ambulence, his thoughts began to wonder. Because they had been so busy these last few hours, he had not had time to seriously think about the ramifications of what happened to him and Roy tonight.

As John thought back on the bathroom scene, he heart began to dance in delight remembering how soft Roy's body had felt next to his. The steams of water and passion pouring from both of them. Even as he drove, he could still FEEL Roy. Maybe it was because he was wearing Roy's jacket and could still smell the scent of Roy's cologn beneath his nostrils. Maybe it was because he knew they were two halves of the same person.

As Rampart came into view John snapped his attention back to the matter at hand. He parked in the lot and waited patiently in the squad for his partner and his lover to return.

Finally, John heard the door open and Roy slid in next to Johnny.

"What a night, huh pally?" Roy said with a sigh.

"To say the least," John agreed. "Now what?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

Roy had no real answer for John's question. "Now, we go back to the station and do a little damage control. Maybe no one noticed. We'll just have to play it by ear."

John put the squad in gear and slowly made his way back to the station. Neither him or Roy was in any hurry to return to the waiting questions back at 51. As a matter of fact, Both John and Roy flirted with the idea of not returning at all. Just keep driving. They were together, who cared what else was happening in the world.

They did. They knew they had important jobs and the lives of others depended on them. There was no running away.

********

John backed the squad into the station. Roy hit the button on the wall which pulled down the garage door. The station seemed quiet. Roy looked at Johnny. "Maybe everyone went back to sleep," he asked hopefully. John said, "I don't know about you, but I'm going to make myself a cup of coffee. I don't think I can go to sleep right now."

"I'll join you," Roy said as he took hold of John's hand. Together they walked into the kitchen.

Immediately, Roy let go of John's hand when he saw Both Chet and Marco sitting in the kitchen.....

Part 4

"Hey guys," said Chet, barely looking up from his coffee.

"Uh, hey Chet..." mumbled Johnny, as he took a step sideways away from Roy.

"Oh, you don't need to hide it Johnny," said Marco. "You're among friends now."

"What do you mean, Marco?" Asked Johnny as his mind reeled trying to figure out what to do if they confronted the new couple with the truth.

"He means we can see what is going on....and it's Ok....in fact, we think its kind of sweet," Chet said and then reached over and squeezed Marco's hand...."don't we?"

Marco's eyes flashed for just a moment with pride and love as he looked at Chet and then back at Roy and Johnny. "Yeah, we have been wondering when you guys would finally get together."

Johnny's mouth hung open for a second....seeing but not really believing what was going on in front of him. He looked at Roy's face...and their eyes met....panic and confusion was running thru both of them.

Chet stood up seeing the bewilderment on their faces and walked around behind them. He put one arm around each man's shoulder and ushered them over to sit at the table.

As Roy pulled out his chair to sit down, Chet really quickly grabbed Roy's ass.

Roy flinched, startled, and turned to look Chet in the face.

"I have been wanting to do that for the longest time," said Chet smiling big and chuckling.

Marco looked at him like a dissapproving parent and then chuckled too.

"Why HIS ass?" Demanded Johnny....reacting to the slight without really thinking about what he was saying...."what's wrong with MY ass?"

The three men turned to look at John in unison. His words rang back into his ears...."uh....never mind"...he mumbled, and sat down quietly at the table.

"Look, Johnny, Roy....we don't want to pry....its just that we saw the way you handled the situation tonight and we want to pass on a few words of wisdom," began Marco.

"Yeah, before you embarass the hell out of yourselves." Added Chet.

"A new love is an unpredictable thing of stolen moments and new experiences. But this isn't something you can be careless about...not around here." Marco was speaking in quiet, direct tones, the concern in his voice palpable to all at the table.

"Yeah, I mean, look what happened to Captain Stanley." Chet chimed in. "He's lucky all he got was transferred after that whole McConakee thing."

"You mean the hat burning thing?" Asked John wondering how that had anything to do with what they were apparently talking about. "You know why he did it?"

"Sure," smiled Chet..... "Lovers quarrel."

"What!" exclaimed Johnny. "Between the Capt. and McConakee!"

"Yeah there was a time when they were hot and heavy. I've heard the stories from Hank himself. But that's all old news now. McConakee broke it off....Hank burned his hat.....and the Capt. went back to his wife. End of story." said Chet with finality.

"Wait a minute, what are you telling me here?" Asked Johnny leaning forward to further hush the conversation. "That the Capt had a fling with McConakee, and that you and Marco are a couple now?"

Roy leaned in too unable to keep quiet any longer. "And does this mean that you think WE are a couple?" He said lifting his right hand off the table to point his thumb in Johnny's direction. "Because, we are not a couple...I mean, I don't know what you guys thought you saw tonight, but...." and he paused feeling the lie settle in his throat before continuing..... "Johnny and I are just friends....I mean, I am a happily married man for God's sake!"

"Yeah," said Johnny, "and I am always dating women....lots of 'em...all the time!" He stammered a little trying to sound insistent but not panicky.

"Oh the strained sounds of denial." said Chet. "I had almost forgotten how desperate they sound."

"We aren't here to try and push you into acknowledging your relationship, we don't care either way. We just wanted to make it clear to you that if we can see what is going on, pretty soon so will the others. And you need to think about that whenever you are together here," said Marco as he pushed his chair away from the table.

Chet swallowed the last of his coffee and stood too, ready to hit the hay after a long day and longer night.

"Uh, guys....can I just ask one thing?" inquired Johnny softly. "How long have you two...." he stopped...not knowing how to finish the sentence exactly.

"Been a couple?" prompted Chet. "Ever since that quake at Alameda hospital. You know the one where I broke my shoulder. Marco came to visit me at the hospital and then he came over to visit me at my apartment." He continued as he beamed at Marco in fond remembrance....." and then before I knew it, he made me fall in love with him." He took Marco's hand gently in his own. "It was on our one month anniversary that I first made him my famous chili."

"And I have been in love with him ever since." Added Marco. "Heck, I even eat chili with my eggs. If that isn't love I don't know what is." He smiled and the two turned to walk out the door, pausing to look at each other one more time before letting their hands go and adopting a more business like attitude....

After they had passed thru the door Johnny stood up, sat on top of the table and looked at Roy....flabbergasted. He said, "What was that?" I mean, would you have ever guessed in a million years that Chet and Marco were a couple of....of...a couple?"

"No," said Roy softly, as he got up to walk over to the sink. "They do hide it well. And...I think so should we." He paused not wanting to say what was coming next..."In fact, I think it might be better if we pretended that this whole thing never happened."

"Hey, I'll never mention this conversation to anyone, who would believe it?" said Johnny as he rolled his eyes to emphasize the absurdity of it all.

"No, Johhny, I mean all of it....everything between us this past week." Roy said, not looking at Johnny. "I think we need to just go back to the way things were....I mean, they thought we were a couple, Johnny....think about what that would mean!"

Johnny just sat quietly looking at him from the table. Part of him agreed with Roy....but part of him was practically bleeding just thinking about giving their new love up.

"Tomorrow I am going to wake up, finish this shift....and then go home to my wife and kids, Johnny. And three days from now when I come back, I want this to all be just a strange memory." Roy ended the sentence with such emphasis that Johnny didn't know how to contradict him, so the two men let their eyes meet one last time that night....and then Roy
disappeared into the other room to go to bed.

Part 5

With that last statement Roy left the room leaving Johnny literally alone.

That last verbal blow from Roy hit Johnny harder than any punch could have. He suddenly felt his knees go weak and he began to fall. Blindly, he reached out for a kitchen chair to steady himself. He pulled out the chair and slumped into it. The back of his throat began to burn and he could feel his eye's begin to water. John cupped his face in his hands and began cry.

"Why am I crying," he thought to himself. "Did I really expect for one lousy moment that Roy and I could ever be together. I know the way Roy feels about Joanne and the kids. Hell, his kids call me Uncle John! What would Joanne think of me if she knew I tried to seduce her husband. Roy and me as lovers was my fantasy- not his. I must have been out of my mind that day when I told him the the way I felt towards him."

"But then, wasn't it him who kissed me?"

John was so confused. What started out as one sided affection, bloomed into mutual love and suddenly was knocked back down to square one. What was worse was now things could never be the same for him and his partner. It was easy for him to deal with sneaking peaks at Roy and secretly fantasizing when no one was watching. But now, Roy would be more alert to his stares. John wasn't sure he could even look at Roy ever again, let alone work with him side by side.

John didn't sleep that night. All he could do was sit at the table and try to figure out how he had messed up both his and Roy's lives. He was blaming himself for Roy's breaking up with him. He felt he pushed Roy into something he was not ready for.

******

Roy marched out of the kitchen wanting to run back in and immediately take back the words he said to John. In his heart, he knew he had made a mistake. But his head, was telling him he had made the proper decision. With his mind calling the shots, he continued straight for the dorm. Roy was not sure but he thought he heard faint crying sounds coming from the kitchen. It took all he had to fight the urge to run back and comfort his best friend.

Roy couldn't sleep, of course. All he could do was lie in bed thinking of his life. He met Joanne in the 4th grade. They had been together for as long as he could remember. Maybe that was the problem. He had never had the opportunity to explore his sexulality. Joanne was ALWAYS there. At the time, marrying Joanne and having a family seemed the "normal" thing to do. Now, Roy was trying desperately to figure out why being with Johnny felt like the "right" thing to do. Eventually, Roy fell asleep. This was not the place where he could do any soul searching. Plus, he did not want to be awake when John returned to the dorm. He just couldn't face him. Little did he know, John had no intentions of returning to bed.

******

It was 6am and the LA County F.D. dispatcher's voice chimed through the speaker's of the Station 51.

Station 51, please acknowledge wake up call.

Captain Hank Stanley sleepily reached out for the mic that he knew was just over his bunk.

"10-4 LA," Station 51 acknowledged.

With that, he slid his feet into his boots which were stategically place by his bunk. He pulled the suspenders which were attached to his pants over his shoulders. The other 4 men in the dorm did likewise as they all headed for the kitchen.

The smells of coffee filled the truck bay. Captain Stanley looked at his men and noticed one was not present.

"I wonder what's with Gage now," wandered Hank.

As the men filed into the kitchen, Hank noticed the light in his office was on. He stepped inside and was slightly surprised to find Gage leaning in his chair with his feet resting on the captains desk. His head was titled back and his eye's were shut. He was still wearing the mismatched get up from the night before.

"John?" Hank rubbed Gage's shoulder gently to wake him but not startle him. Johnny groaned slightly, resting in this position for the last couple of hours had made his back stiff.

"Hi, Cap," John managed to say. He sounded just as lousy as he looked.

"Are you OK, John?" asked the cap with deep concern. "Have you been here all night?"

"Cap," John croaked, "I need to ask a favor and it's really important. I don't know quite how to ask it but when I do find a way, I would appreciate if you didn't ask why."

Hank took the chair opposite the paramedic and waited patiently for John's request.

"Cap, I can't physically or mentally do my job today. I am having personal problems that I need to deal with and until then, I am of no use to anyone. I will do more harm than good if I attempt today's shift Would it be OK if I go home sick. Bellingham owes me a favor, I'm sure he could take my shift."

The cap was used to situations where his men may need personal time. In their line of work, it was risky to fight fires (or save lives, in a paramedics case) when one wasn't feeling up to snuff.

"Of Course John, that's not really a favor. That's why we have sick days. Then the cap put his hand on John's shoulder and asked more somberly, Is there anything I can do to help you?" he asked.

"Well, that's where the favor comes in," John replied. He shifted in his seat unsure of how to ask the captain what was on his mind.

"I would like to be transfered out of station 51 as soon as possible," John finally managed to spit out. "As a matter of fact, I was hoping you could pull a few strings and get me transferred before our next shift begins."

Captain Stanley was speechless. His didn't expect this kind of request from anyone in his crew. He always prided himself for having the closest knit shift in the department.

"John, was it something I did? Has Kelly been riding you too hard? I can stop him you know. You don't have to do this." Hank tried to sound encouraging.

"Cap, it has nothing to do with anyone here," John lied. "It's me. Please don't ask me to explain." John's voice was bearly more than a whisper. "Please Cap, do this for me," John begged.

With that John left to go clean out his locker and go home.

*****

Hank walked into the kitchen. His stare was so blank one may have thought he was sleep walking. "Hey, Cap, Where's Gage?" Chet inquired.

"He just went home sick. I've called dispatch. Their sending Bellingham to take his place. He'll be here in a half hour."

"Is anything serious wrong with Gage?" Marco asked the cap but looked directly at Roy. Roy just hung his head and tried to blend in with the coffee pot.

The Cap answered, "No, just not feeling 100 percent today. I think he just needs to catch up on some sleep."

"Gage could sleep for days and never be 100 percent," Chet joked.

"You know something, Chet," Roy piped up from the far end of the kitchen, "sometimes you can be such an asshole." And just as quickly as Roy spoke, he left the kitchen.

"Geeze," Chet stammered, "I think both our paramedics need to catch up on their sleep."

******

John entered his apartment. He threw his gear on his couch and proceeded to the liquer cabinet. It was only 10:30 in the morning but John didn't care. Time, place, people- nothing seemed to matter anymore. John pulled out his old buddy JD from the top shelf. This potion was reserved for emergencies. And with the way John was feeling, this was one of those occasions. John unscrewed the cap from the bottle and took a long hard swallow. Normally, the liquid would have burned the back of John's throat. But today, it felt like water as his throat was already numb from trying to hold back more tears as he drove home.

John flopped into his recliner and continued to knock down the rest of the bottle of Jack Daniels. He figured the best way not to agonize over what had happened between him and Roy was to make himself forget that there even WAS a him and Roy. He knew the more he drank, the less he would have to think.

John held the now empty bottle to his lips and was disappointed when nothing spilled out. "Damn," he thought. "They don't seem to make these bottles hold as much as they used to. Oh well, let's see what else we got." He dizzily walked over to his stash. He saw a clear bottle sitting in front of him. "Vodka!" he shouted. But then he thought more about it. Vodka is definetly not a liquer to be drank straight. So John reached back in and pulled out his buffer-Tequilla. "Well, their both clear," John rationalized. He grabbed a glass from the kitchen and sat down again in his easy chair. John mixed the two substances using a one to one ratio. The concoction had to be the absolute worst thing Johnny had ever tasted. And if he had a working taste bud left, he would have realized that.

After about the second glass of Johnny's special sauce, John felt the beginnings of a migrane. "Funny," he thought, he was sure his head was no longer attached to his shoulders. But there was pain, no doubt about that. "I think I need a pain killer," John said aloud to himself.

Through the sheer miracles of will power, John had managed to make it to his medicine chest in the bathroom. Though he felt as though the trip took 10 times longer than it usually did. John reached in his cabinet and pulled out 2 pink tablets, or at least he was hoping it was two-his eye's were no longer able to focus. He swallowed them using a gulp of his mixture as a chaser. Johnny suddenly felt as thought the world was literally crashing down on him. His head was killing him, his stomach felt like a volcano was erupting. He could also feel his body temperature reach at least 102 degrees. He bacame short of breath and became even more dizzy. Suddenly, his world went dark as he fell to the floor. He was sure not to miss hitting his head on the toilet as he made his way to the floor.

******

Roy was not having a good day. Station 51 was unusually slow, which left Roy alot of time with his thoughts. He thought mostly about Johnny and Joanne. He truly loved them both. But he needed to face the hard facts. As much as it killed him to admit this to himself, he knew who his true soul mate was. Unfortunetly, whichever decision he made, someone was going to get hurt.

Roy also knew he was the real reason John left this morning. He wanted so much to call him and explain things to him. That really all he needed was some time to think through the changes that were happening in his life. He just needed to confirm his own feelings before acting on them.

Roy's thoughts were interupted as the stations claxons went off.

"Squad 51, unknown type rescue. Ridgewater Apartments. Meet landlord at the door. Time out 1300."

Roy met Bellingham at the squad and they raced toward the scene. Roy was a little nervous about this call because it just happened to be at the same apartment complex Johnny lived at. "What will I say if I run into him," Roy wondered.

As they approached the complex, a woman in her 40's met them.

"Thank you for coming so quickly, she said. I hope it's a false alarm but I'd rather be safe than sorry. See, I was reading when I heard a crash come from the apartment above me. A nice fireman lives there. Most of the unusual noises I hear from upstairs are usually at night, if you know what I mean. So I thought it very unusual this morning and went up to investigate. When he didn't answer his door, I called you guys right away."

Roy began to panick. He and Bellingham grabbed their gear and followed the woman. As he feared, she stopped in front of Johnny's apartment door.

Roy knocked on the door. "Johny?," he yelled. No answer.

Roy kicked the door down and both he and his temporary partner rushed inside. Roy noticed the empty liquer bottles on the table and proceeded to go through the apartment looking for his best friend. Bellingham kept calling Johnny's name.

Suddenly Roy gasped in horror as he found Johnny laying on his bathroom floor with a small pool of blood under his head.

"Oh God," he cried. "Johnny, Johnny, can you hear me?" he asked, his voice trembling. No response.

Bellingham opened the line to Rampart. Roy snapped back to being a paramedic and quickly accessed John's vitals and relayed them to Bellingham.

Then, Roy noticed the near empty bottle of pain killer's on the sink. "No, Johnny, please don't tell me you...." He grabbed the bottle shoved it in his pocket.

Rampart requested an IV with Ringers and immediate transport. Not knowing the extent of his fall, the had also advised the paramedics to put John on a backboard.

Roy insisted that he ride in the ambulence with John. Bellingham tried to convince Roy that this particular case was maybe a little too close to home but Roy was adament and would not hear of it.

In the ambulence, Roy kept checking John's vitals. His pulse was weak, respirations were shallow, blood pressure too low. He was also sweating profusiously. He was able to stop the bleeding from behind John's ear at least.

Roy took hold of Johnny's hand. He began to cry as he looked at his friend's condition. A condition that he was personally responsible for. Tears flowed from his eye's like waterfalls. "Please John," Roy managed between sobs-his voice just above a whisper- "Please, don't you leave me. Not now, not ever! I realize now what you mean to me. Please don't take that away from me, you hear me!" He commanded.

They finally reached Rampart Emergency. Dr. Kel Bracket and Nurse Dixie McCall were waiting at the doors. Roy helped the ambulence men wheel Johnny into the treament room. "What happened," Bracket asked the men. By now, Bellingham entered the room right behind them. "Looks like an attempted suicide," he stated. He knew how unbelievable it sounded as it was matched by equally surprised glances from the ER staff. "What???" was all Bracket could say.

Roy leaned against the wall trying not to get in anyone's way. He looked paralysed so Bellingham did all the talking. "We found him in his apartment. He'd been drinking...ALOT. By the tme we reached him, he was passed out on his bathroom floor."

"How does that equal suicide," Dixie asked.

"Roy," Bellingham said, "show them the bottle."

Roy did not move. All he did was stare at John's unmoving body.

"ROY!!" Bellingham walked over to him and grabbed the bottle from Roy's pocket.

"We beleive he has taken some of these too," he said quietly.

"Oh my God," Brackett said as he realized the bottle was only filled 3 days ago and was 2 shy of being empty.

"Let's pump his stomach now," he yelled. Dixie sprang into action and retrieved the nessecary items.

"Guy's, we'll come and get you when we know more." Bracket said. This was his way of asking them to clear the room.

Bellingham took Roy by the arm and escorted him to the lounge. Roy almost seemed comatose.

Bellingham returned to the station but Roy stayed at Rampart. Given the circumstances, Hank had given him the rest of the day off.

About 2 hours later, Bracket returned to the lounge. His scrubs were soaked with sweat.

Roy just looked at him. "Is he dead?" Was all he could ask.

"No," Brackett said. "But he's not doing too well either. We found seven pain killers in his stomach. His alcohol blood levels were off the chart. I'm afraid he's in a coma. Roy, why would he do something like this?"

"Can I see him?" Roy ignored Brackets question.

"Just for a minute." Brackett allowed.

Roy entered Johnny's room. He was hooked up to all sorts of gizmos and IV's. He sat on the chair next to his bed. He grabbed his hand and started to speak softly to his friend. "Johnny, I love you. I want us to be together. Please come back to me. I swear, I'll work everthing out. I'll tell Joanne right away. Please hang in there. I need you."

With that last statement Roy let his head fall face down on the bed next to Johnny. He continued to cry. He never noticed that Joanne was standing at the doorway to Johnny's room. She heard everything.

Part 6

"Oh my God!" She thought as she stood there quietly watching her husband. For just a moment anger flashed through her body. "How long had their little love affair been going on," she thought? "When was he planning on telling me?" The questions began to mount up in her mind. Finally she couldn't contain her emotions any longer and she stepped forward a little, put her hand on Roy's shoulder and spoke.

"Roy," she practically whispered. His head lifted off the bed and turned suddenly to face her. As recognition surged thru his mind his body practically leapt to its feet. "Joanne," he said, perhaps a little too loudly, betraying his surprise and guilty conscience. "I was just...I mean, Johnny was just.....ummm, what are you doing here?" He asked trying not to sound so panicked but he kept wondering how much she had heard.

"Dixie called me. She saw how upset you were when Johnny was brought in and thought you might need some moral support....and I can see she was right." Joanne was speaking softly in a comforting tone with a look of concern on her face.

Roy almost laughed at the thought that she could possibly understand what was going on. Her soothing tone did not indicate to him that she had heard his loving pleas to John.

"Roy," she continued, "I think we need to talk. But not here," she added quickly, "away from the hospital." She didn't want the upcoming conversation heard by anyone who might know them. No need inviting the whole hospital into their problems.

Roy shifted back and forth uneasily for a moment and then suggested a quiet restaurant just down the street where they could be alone. He took her by the arm, a gesture that suddenly felt so forced and foreign, and led her out to the parking lot.

*********

The drive to the restaurant had been quiet with the exchange of only a few pleasantries. Both had commented on the beautiful weather and Roy asked how long until the kids got home from school. But by in large they had traveled in silence.

Once seated in the back in a quiet booth, Joanne once again began to use her hushed tone.

"Roy, I heard you speaking to Johnny at his bedside."

Fear ran through Roy like an avalanche and as his eyes snapped upward to meet hers. He almost found himself searching for denials....but the look on her face said she knew....and that to deny it would only make it worse. He let his eyes fall back down to look at the table.

"I don't know what to say Joanne. We didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. I can't even seem to make sense of it right now but I can't deny my feelings....I love him." He spoke slowly, struggling for each word knowing as he went that his life was changing right in front of him.

"I never meant to hurt you, Joanne," he continued, but she put her hand on his and stopped him.

"Roy, it's OK. I will admit it does hurt a little but not for the reasons you think. In fact, if I had been paying a little more attention I might have seen this coming."

"They've converted you haven't they?!" Her tone was thick with accusation. "Those two fags at the station. They finally got to you and Johnny didn't they."

"What....what are you talking about?" asked Roy suddenly wondering what kind of conversation this was becoming.

"Marco and um....what's his name....the one with the cheesy mushtache....."

"You mean Chet?" Helped Roy.

"Yeah, those two. I spotted them a while back at one of those annual picnics. They thought no one was watching but I saw the way the two of them looked at each other....the covert hand holding...I should've put a stop to them then...but I didn't think they could get to you, Roy."

"What do you mean get to me?"

"You know the way they do it, they want everyone to be just like them. So they seem normal until they gradually wear you down so you accept it....so you accept them....and then if you aren't careful they convert you and you become one of them. I thought they could only do it by actually initiating some sort of romantic connection with you. I didn't know they could convert two of you at once. But you know how they are, can't put any devious thing past them."

Joanne was rambling now about the horrors of homosexuality, the manipulations Chet and Marco had pulled on the two friends, how it wasn't his fault, they could get him some help...."there are ways to cure this..." she insisted.

Suddenly he felt something stir inside him, and he couldn't let her go on any longer. He stood up from the table and said, "Damnit Joanne this isn't an illness or some contagious disease! And John and I weren't manipulated by anyone....we just fell in love....plain and simple. And I won't have you turn it into something shameful or ugly, because it isn't....its wonderful! In fact its the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me."

Roy suddenly became aware of how loud and obvious he was standing there in the restaurant and he shrank back into his chair.

Joanne was crying now, but they were angry tears as much as sad.

"I hope you don't plan on ever seeing your kids again you pervert," she practically spat at him. "Go make your sinful little life with Johnny Gage, but I won't have my kids be around it. Its perverse and its twisted and I can't believe that the man I married is even capable of such things."

Her anger was bolstering his defiance, he would not have her admonish Johnny in any way, especially not while he lay fighting for his life in a hospital bed.

"Oh, I'm capable honey," he said tersely. "In fact I'm capable in a burning building, I'm capable in the station's shower...and I'll be capable all night long if Johnny manages to live through tomorrow."

As he finished he was on his feet again. "We can settle all this about the kids later, Joanne. Right now there's someone I need to be with." He ran out of the restaurant.

*****

It must have been five or six blocks back to the hospital but it seemed to only take him a few minutes as he crashed thru the double doors into the emergency room corridor he was sweating and panting but relieved. His life had direction, maybe for the first time in his life, and he was going to pursue it with all he had no matter what anyone thought or said.

He strood down the hallway confidently. He straightened his shirt and fixed his hair and paused for just a moment outside Johnny's door before going inside.

"Johnny, we need to....." but the words fell on an empty room. His eyes searched all four walls for some sign of where he had gone but none were readily apparent.

He wheeled around and headed for the nurse's station. There was a new, young nurse standing there. She was blond and beautiful and Roy thought, "wow, Johnny will just love her." Then he caught what he was thinking and smiled, laughing to himself about the absurdity of this whole crazy situation.

"Hey," he said as he approached. "I am looking for that guy who was in room 5 about an hour ago. Came in with an alcohol and drug reaction."

"Are you a friend of his?" She asked cautiously.

"Yeah, he's my partner. Where have you moved him?"

"We didn't move him..." she paused long while she tried to get up the nerve to finish. "He died about a half hour ago."

The words rang in the air for what seemed like minutes and Roy just couldn't believe it. While he was sorting out his life with Joanne his reason for living had gone. His eyes began to swell with tears and his eyes searched for any familiar face to help him.

Suddenly he saw Dixie coming down the hall. She was smiling as she approached and greeted him cheerfully. Then she saw the look on his face and inquired what was wrong.

"She just told me about Johnny...." Roy stammered and gestured toward the young nurse. "I can' t believe he died....."

"Died!" Exclaimed Dixie. "Oh God no, Roy. He stabilized and we moved him upstairs to ICU."

"What are you trying to do? Scare the hell out of people!" she demanded as she looked to the new nurse.

Roy took off for the elevators as the sounds of Dixie admonishing the young nurse echoed down the halls.

******

As the doors opened he practically ran off the elevator looking for the ICU station nurse. He got to the desk and asked, "Where is John Gage's room? I'm his partner and I need to see him."

The duty nurse took a look at him and gave him the room number and once again he was off and running. He knew what he wanted and he didn't want to waste a moment.

He bounded thru Johnny's door. John was sitting up in bed watching TV.

Roy quickly surveyed that there was no roommate in Johnny's room and then he walked over to John's bed, dropped to his knees and threw his arms around him.

"I am so sorry Johnny. I was wrong last night. I can't deny what I feel for you and I don't want to, not ever again. Please forgive me."

Johnny had been startled by the burst of energy that came whipping in thru his door and now he was even more startled by the sudden turnaround in attitude of his best friend. "But you don't look a gift horse in the mouth," he thought. In fact, with a mouth like that you should just give in and kiss it. And as Johnny's lips touched Roy's there was a strange calm that flowed between the two of them. As long as they had each other they would be alright.

*****

Two days later John and Roy made their way back to Station 51. John was still a little weak, but he was bored in the hospital and wanted to get back on the job.

John had arrived first. Coming in separately would look more normal they thought even though both of them had spent the night at Johnny's.

Roy came in about fifteen minutes later. The locker room was empty except for John.

The two got dressed quietly, calmly preparing for the day. Johnny smirked at Roy and nodded his head toward the shower but before Roy could even consider the thought Chet came rushing into the locker room.

"Roy, you better get out here! Joanne is here and she brought a lawyer and a news crew."

Part 7

Roy briefly looked at John and then went flying out the door. And it was just as Chet had described. There, standing in the entranceway to the truck bay was Joanne, surrounded by news crews.

"And this is the fire station where all the homosexuals work," Joanne was saying as she waved her arms in a broad gestures.

Roy came bursting through the crowd and made his way towards Joanne.

"And here is their newest addition now!" she sexcaimed- evil in her voice.

"Joanne, we need to talk, right now!" Roy said as he grabbed her arm and lead her out of the station.

Now alone, Roy looked at his wife, who now stood like a stranger before him. "Why are you doing this, Joanne," he asked sharply.

"Me? I am not the one who's destroying a marriage, a happy family, and engaging in perverted activities in my free time, Roy." She was not able to conceal the hurt and bitterness in her voice.

"Joanne," Roy's voice now took a more reasoning tone, "your obviously hurt and mad at me. I can't say I blame you. But by the same token, I can't say I regret my decision. I couldn't go on living a lie. And I know you would not want me to stay with you because it was what YOU wanted. Doesn't my happiness mean anything to you?"

"And what about MY happiness?" Joanne snapped.

"How happy could you be knowing your husband was in love with someone else. Joanne, you need to move on. It's the only way you will ever get rid of this bitterness towards me." Roy said.

"I will never stop being mad at you Roy Desoto." Joanne voice more threatening.

"Then stay mad at me but don't take it out on the kids, Joanne." Roy caught her off gaurd with that statement.

"What do you mean?" she answered.

"This bullshit you're trying to pull with the lawyers and news crews in there. Have you any idea how our kids are going to be treated by their peers once all this is on the 6 o'clock news?" Roy explained.

"What's the matter darling, ashamed of who you are in public?" Joanne retorted.

"You know that's not what I mean, Damnit!" exclaimed Roy.

Just then, Captain Hank Stanley came walking outside to where Roy and Joanne were standing. "Ah, guys, I don't mean to butt my nose into private matters but when your private matters enter MY Station, I think I have the right to know what the hell is going on!" Hank was losing his otherwise calm demeanor.

Roy and Joanne just looked at one another.

"Call off you wolves, Joanne." Roy was not asking.

Joanne walked back into the station and saw Johnny in the midst of all the cameras. He wasn't saying much. Mostly things like "no comment" and "find a better story". He looked up and saw her. John thought if looks could kill, he'd certainly be a dead man right now.

Joanne announced, "C'mon everyone, this has all been a misunderstanding. I'm sorry to have wasted all of your time." After a few groans and objections, the crowd began to dissapate.

"Thanks, Joanne," Roy said.

"Don't thank me, you son of a bitch. This is far from over," Joanne snarled. She turned and left the station.

*****

In the weeks that followed, Joanne made Roy's life just miserable. He had asked her for a divorce. At first she was not going to give it to him but then decided to agree. However, she would only go along with it if Roy had agreed to give her everything. And she meant everything! Roy hardly had a pot to piss in when she was through with him.

Material possessions were only a small loss compared to Joanne asking for sole custody of the kids. His children, along with Johnny, were his only reasons for living these days. She couldn't deny him his kids. He would rather die. Fortunetly, the judge saw the love Roy had for his family and granted him alternating weekend visits. It wasn't enough for Roy but he had to take what he could get. He hoped that one day when everything settled down, Joanne would be more forgiving.

But through all of this mess, there was Johnny. No matter how depressed Roy got about his rapidly sinking life, John had always been there with a listening ear and a few encouraging words. He also knew how to take Roy's mind off his worries. Roy finally understood why Johnny never seemed to have a problem getting dates with the nurses at Rampart. That boy was a master in bed. What he lacked in brawn, he made up for in style. Roy couln't beleive that he was the only man John had ever been with. He was just too good. "I just do what feels right," John had told him.

*****

It was Monday and time to begin another 3 day shift. Roy walked into the station about 5 minutes after John. They were still coming to work separetly even though everyone at the station seemed to know the truth. But John and Roy both figured they needed to play it cool for the benefit of the media and what other gossip hounds seemed to be hanging about these days.

"Hiya' partner," Roy bellowed to his friend. John did not look up from the piece of paper he was reading. "Hello, John," Roy repeated. John looked up at Roy with a look in his eye's that conveyed shock and confusion. "What's the matter, pal?" Roy asked. "What's that in your hand?"

"Roy, I don't know how to tell you this...I was being irrational....I was confused....And then with my accident, those stupid suicide therapy sessions they're making me take, and all the things that have been going on lately....I just forgot...." John stammered. His voice was almost apologetic.

Roy sat next to his friend on the bench and slipped the paper from John's hands. It was written on L.A.County F.D. stationary. Whatever it was, it was official. Roy began to read.....

"TRANSFERRED!!!" Roy unintentionally shouted. "John, why?" Roy didn't understand how Johnny (or anyone for that matter) would ever want to leave station 51.

"I told you Roy, I made the request weeks ago. I thought that's what you wanted after that scene with Chet and Marco. But then everything happened..... and then you wanted me back.... and I guess I forgot to tell the cap to recind my request." Johnny was speaking very fast. He was trying to make Roy understand that it was all a big misunderstanding.

"My only problem is... what the hell am I going to do now?" John asked rhetorically.

******

It was Johnny's last shift at station 51. All the guys had gotten together and thrown him a going away party. Johnny tried to explain to Captain Stanley that he had changed his mind but the cap was unable to retract what headquarters had already put in writing. Captain Stanley was just as upset to see Johnny leaving and promised he would do everything in his power to get Johnny reassigned back to 51. He would call in every last favor if he had to. Unfortunetly, these things did not happen overnight and so for the time being, the men at 51 would have to deal with their current situation.

Chet hung streamers from the kitchen walls and put up signs which read "Good Luck and we hate to see you go" all around the station. Also trown about were big yellow happy faces. Chet had said he was happy to finally get Gage out of his hair, but secretly everyone knew it was just an act. The only complaint Chet would voice was how he had to break in a new pigeon.

Johnny wasn't dissapointed to find a water bomb compliments of The Phantom hidden in his locker that day. It was only fitting that The Phantom gave him a going away present as well.

It was about 11:00pm and the guys were wrapping up the party. Fortunetly, they had not gotten any runs but they were still tired after a long 3 day shift. They were ready to hit the hay. Hopefully, the only interuption they would get would be B-shift relieving them in the morning.

John told the other guys to go on to bed. He volunteered to clean up the mess. It was the least he could do to say thanks. Plus he wanted some alone time to gather his thoughts.

He didn't argue however, when he noticed Roy lagging behind.

"Well partner, I guess this is it," Roy said. He was trying to sound upbeat and was failing miserably.

"Yeah, Pally, I guess it is... For now. Hopefully, I'll be back before your new partner can introduce himself," Johnny answered, almost sounding convincing.

"I miss you already," Roy said.

"Look Roy, don't let it get to you. We'll have plenty of our off time to spend together." Johnny said as he took hold of both Roy's hands.

Roy looked into Johhny's eyes and smiled. "OK, John, I'll try but only on one condition."

"Name it," John said slightly nervous.

"Well you see, I have this fantasy... And it involves you....me.....and this kitchen table....and that counter....and that couch....I want to hump you like a dog in heat!"

Johnny smiled widely. He was instantly excited about the thoughts Roy had just placed in his head. With a swooping motion, John cleared off the table of paper plates and cups with a swipe of his arm. He then grabbed Roy by the waist and threw him onto the table. Within seconds, John was on top of him, kissing Roy passionately. The time and place were so dangerous but neither John or Roy was going to let that detail enter their minds. And hey, if one of the guys came to the kitchen for a midnight snack, they'd better be in the mood for a show as well. Because this was their last night together at THEIR station and they were going out with a BANG (quite literally). They were not going to let anyone stop them.

As John kissed Roy, his right hand began to slide down Roy's chest. Then his waist. Then his hand moved slowly toward Roy's belly...and down over Roys belt buckle. He proceeded to unfasten it. About 5 seconds later, Roy groaned in total ecstacy. But then Roy put his hand on John's and said, "No, Johnny, tonight we concentrate on you!"

Roy effortlessly managed to switch places with Johnny. Roy vigorously, yet gently stroked Johnny's penis. After some time, Roy moved his lips away from John’s and started to suck on John's nipples, then Roy's tongue followed the "invisible T" line down Johnny's stomach. Moments later, Roy's hand was replaced by his tongue. Roy did not stop until he was rewarded with Johnny's natural juices.

It took some time, but eventually, John was able to breath again. Roy was just laying next to him with his arm around Johnny's chest.

"Roy, is tonight really for me?" John asked with a hint of evil in his voice. John's tone only excited Roy. "I'll do WHATEVER you tell me to," Roy spoke as mischieviously as Johnny.

"Cause, well, you see, I too have a fantasy," John began. John looked Roy square in the eye's and slid off the table. He tossed his pants that were around his ankles to the floor and made his way to the couch. He waited there and motioned for Roy to do the same.

Roy followed Johhny's lead and was now completely naked next to Johnny on the couch.

Without words, Johnny positioned himself on his hands and knees. His head was not facing Roy. Roy knew immediately what Johnny had wanted him to do. He saw his target and went for it- With force! Johnny almost wanted to cry out loud half in pain but mostly in enjoyment as he and Roy truly became one....