20

Heal Thyself


A Word From The Mistress: In the Voyager episode, Darkling, Lord Byron was played by my dear friend and Mistress Janeway fan, Christopher Clarke. For those Byron scholars out there, the one in this log sounds more like the irreverent actor than a 19th  Century poet.

Note of What Has Gone Before: In an attempt to expand his programming, the Doctor added personality components of Lord Byron, Ghandi, Leonardo Da Vinci and others.  The result was schizophrenia and an attempt to torture and murder Torres.


Captain's Personal Log:

Chakotay burst into my quarters with a look of rapt anticipation.

"You didn’t start yet, did you?"

I gazed up at him from the dressing table.

"I just got here," I said drily. "I was having dinner."

Chakotay took the brush from my hand then got to work on my newly freed tresses. That felt great after a long day. He got to my scalp with each stroke. After a least 15 minutes, he was satisfied with the sheen. I was pulled into his arms.

"I wouldn’t begin without my favorite voyeur," I said.

Chakotay wasn’t really listening. His eyes were holding mine. He was going to kiss me again. Of late, he had been doing that frequently wrapping me up in his arms in a quiet space securing my head by my hair, setting his mouth against mine tenderly then gently coaxing my tongue to mingle with his while pressing me close. And that would be all. He would release me. It was lovely but very confusing.

It was a warm and comforting connection each time, not overtly arousing. It was as though Chakotay wanted to give me some of his strength. I didn’t realize it until that moment, that at the time of each kiss, I was feeling mildly out of sorts or pensive or fatigued. The kiss would always lift my spirits.

He brought me close then brushed his lips against mine before setting them in the kiss. His hands were in my hair. His heart was pounding against my chest during that very sweet, tender moment.

"Thank you," I murmured as Chakotay lifted his lips from mine.

"I can’t give you much..." he replied.

"More than enough."

"So," he said as we parted. "What’s on the menu tonight?"

The Commander started removing his clothing.

"It’s Barrows’ log," I said.

Chakotay was naked and in my bed propped on pillows waiting expectantly.

"Comfy? Would you like a snack?" I asked.

"Come on, Kathryn," he smiled. "You enjoy these as much as I do."

Chakotay patted the space beside him in the bed with a smirk. I removed my clothes as I wandered over to the bed. He pulled me against him and looped an arm over my shoulders. He pulled over a monitor.

"You are a pervert, you know," I said activating the log.

"Barrows Log One," the Mistress said with a bright smile. I felt my attention again riveted to her beautiful face. Why did she keep that young visage? Hell, the answer was obvious. I was wet with the sight of her. "After weeks of preparation, the luscious B’Elanna was to assist me with the Doctor. I could barely wait to summon her. Of course, I had some delightful business to finish."

To my utter mortification, I say myself hanging from shackles naked save for my boots and gloves. My nipples were weighted. I could instantly feel the sensation of the clit whip’s mark from the punishment I’d received earlier on my thighs and the fullness of my breasts.

"I will not let your slave see you trained," she whispered in my ear. "But before I release you, I want to hear your pleasure."

She held me around the waist with one arm then reached between my legs with the other hand and shoved three fingers in to fuck me. My head dropped back in ecstasy moaning loudly. I tried to regulate my breathing. Chakotay had a hard on I could see under the covers, but he remained perfectly still and transfixed on the screen.

Barrows wrung orgasm after orgasm out of me. Afterward, I was released from the shackles. I was still reeling and on my knees, but I managed to clean her hand with my mouth. Then, she kissed me fully and thoroughly making me come all over again.

"Dress, dear one," she said. "Then, I’ll summon your luscious Engineer."

My movements were slow and lethargic. My face was flushed. My eyes were glazed. Chakotay held me closer. He kissed my temple. I knew that I was in for some incendiary lovemaking after this viewing.

Torres entered a short while later. She wore a long robe, but the boots peeked out as she walked. I was seated at Barrow’s feet. I could now tell that Torres strongly reacted to the sight of my Mistress and me. I was still feeling Barrows’ lash and hands and tongue all over my skin. She could see in my eyes what I had endured and was shaken by it.

Barrows was shaken by her. The Mistress was riveted on my diminutive fireball. I knew what she wanted to see.

"Remove the robe, B’Elanna," I said.

"Yes, Mistress."

The material slipped from her shoulders to reveal her outfit. She was stunning and formidable.

"Look at me, sweetness," Barrows said.

Torres complied. Her eyes glittered with intrigue.

"You are quite delectable, my dear," Barrows purred. "Are you ready to play?"

"Yes, Mistress,’ she replied. "More than ready."

"The Doctor will come when summoned," I said. I was returning to normal.

"How did you manage that, pet?" Barrows asked.

"Yeah, I’d think after his personality problems, he’d be less than enthusiastic about exploring anything to do with the mind," Torres replied.

"I don’t think he can help it," I said. "A good doctor has to have a highly curious nature to track down diagnosis and cures. Since meeting Mistress Barrows, he has been brimming with questions. I am certain he feared offending me," I said. "I’ve assured him that he may explore to his heart’s content," I said. "Are you ready for him?"

Torres smiled. "I added a couple of sub-routines of my own which will be activated when he gets here. Our Doctor will feel pleasure and pain."

"Please, don’t tell me how you did it, dear," Barrows said.

Torres stifled her next sentence. "Yes, Mistress."

"Enjoy yourselves," I said. "Just don’t scuttle the ship."

I left.

"Allow me to set up," Torres asked.

"I’ll set the mood," Barrows replied. "And get the company."

"Company?"

"I’d like that delectable Lord Byron to join in," she said. "He has a great mind."

"He has a big dick," I said. Chakotay nudged me to be quiet.

Barrows conjured up a dungeon. Torres looked puzzled.

"It’s what he’s expecting," Barrow’s replied. "Despite all of his enlightenment, the man views lust largely as a dark emotion."

Torres smirked and nodded. The room transformed. There are many dungeons at the Club. This one wasn’t as classy. Torres asked for a cart with a wide tabletop. She began to assemble the toys as though they were surgical instruments.

"Clever girl," Barrows smiled. "That ought to make him good and nervous."

Lord Byron appeared in the next instant. I knew why Barrows wanted him there aside from the equipment. He was beautiful with his vibrant blue eyes and fine classic features. A smile tugged at one corner of his mouth and his eyes danced as he looked about the room then at Barrows and Torres.

"Vintage Marquis de Sade I would say of the decor," he said appreciatively. "You ladies look like the nightmare fantasy of my sainted pastor."

"Thank you," Barrows said. "Mistress Barrows at your service, milord. This is my apprentice, Mistress Torres."

B’Elanna managed a curtsey while stifling a giggle.

"And why have we gathered here today, ladies?" Lord Byron inquired.

"A demonstration of sorts, a lecture to be sure," she said. "Mistress Torres and I are going to continue the Doctor’s education on carnal matters. We thought you might enjoy being a witness."

"How kind of you," Byron said. "I hope you will school him in more than the intellectual. He is quite a prig."

"Yes, I know," Barrows said. "And yes, we will."

"Splendid."

"Barrows to Emergency Medical Program."

"Yes, Mistress Barrows."

"I believe the Captain told you to expect my call," Barrows said.

"She did."

"You haven’t changed your mind, have you?"

"No, I have not."

"I’m ready for you now," she purred looking at Torres.

"I’m on my way."

Torres smiled. "There is one more adjustment that I need to make."

She went to a nearby juncture in a pillar, opened a panel then fiddled with the insides.

"That’s for a little added stimulation," she said. "I can also activate his subroutines the moment he enters the Holodeck."

Barrows and Lord Byron occupied themselves with discussions of his poetry while Torres was going over her instruments. As always, my little pigeon was totally focused on the task at hand. I was very grateful that none of my flesh and blood crew had so gravely offended her. I couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. And that dear one was looking for blood.

The Doctor breezed in a short time later. He stopped short as soon as he saw the change in the decor.

"This is... interesting," he said.

Barrows smiled brightly "Some slaves need the trapping of captivity in order to let themselves go."

"I see, but wouldn’t most of the participants in this activity on Voyager be more sophisticated than... this," the Doctor said.

"Most of them are," Barrows said pointedly.

"Oh, then why would you go through the pretense..." he frowned for a moment before the realization dawned on him. "Just what are you saying?"

"I believe the lady is saying that you are a provincial prig that prefers to have his carnal activities in dark, foreboding places where no one can bear witness," Byron said.

"Well put, milord," Barrows said.

"I beg your pardon," the Doctor said irritably. "I am as sophisticated as any one of your... your... companions. If I am to learn about your... practices, I should learn in the appropriate setting."

"Very well."

The setting change back to the Club to the training chamber.

The Doctor looked about the room with an appraising eye. "It’s light, airy... the decor is tasteful and elegant. Impressive."

"Well, now that we’ve agreed on the interiors, I’d like some more playmates," Byron said.

"Who do you have in mind?" Torres asked.

"How about that delicious blonde lieutenant and his delicious oriental friend," he replied.

"Tom and Harry?" Torres asked.

"What ordinary names for a delightful pair of specimens," the poet replied.

Torres stifled a chuckle. "I don’t think that would work."

"And why not?"

"Don’t be offended, milord," Barrows said. She shot a cautionary glance at Torres. "Those two do not belong to me. Their Mistress is not going to share them."

"How unsporting." Byron said. "Well, Doctor, I hope you are very amusing."

The Doctor eased toward Barrows while keeping a close eye on Byron. "Can we proceed?"

"Of course," Barrows said. She indicated a place where she wanted him to stand. "Raise your arms over your head, and try to relax."

"All right.’

When the Doctor complied the shackles slid into place over his wrists and ankles snugly. Torres took great pleasure in stripping the uniform off of him. She returned to her instrument table, then rolled it over just out of the Doctor’s view. Meanwhile, Barrows strolled around the Doctor with a critical eye examining him with her riding crop.

"Your prototype is a well conditioned man. It seems you can handle quite a bit," Barrows said. "How do you feel, Doctor?"

"Very exposed," he said. "I could swear that there is a breeze in here."

"Droll Doctor. What else do you feel?" Barrows asked. Her voice had taken on a husky tone. She was getting to work.

"Vulnerable..."

"That’s right. In your current form, I could do anything to you," she said seductively. "Your flesh is mine to pet and tease and taste until I’ve had my fill."

That gave the Doctor an erection which startled him. Barrows gently grasped it and played with it.

"This is all mine," she said. Her lips were very close to his. "Every inch of your vulnerable skin is mine to tempt and torment."

Barrows stepped back. She removed her bra and massaged her breasts while staring at him. I was about to lose it entirely. She looked so lovely. I wanted to taste her flesh. Chakotay tightened his hold on me.

"I’ll take care of you, I promise," he whispered in my ear.

I forced myself to concentrate. The Doctor, I could swear, was as riveted as I. His eyes never left her while she was in front of him. Once behind him, the light lash fell a half dozen times. The sensation surprised him. He inhaled sharply. After the skin on his back was thoroughly reddened, Barrows brushed her nipples across the area.

"Do you think I’m cruel, Doctor?" She whispered against his ear. "Or enticing?"

He groaned. Barrows went after him again. "Your life is unpredictable because of this ship’s predicament. But being my slave means incredible randomness. I can pleasure you or torment you beyond limits physically and mentally."

The whip stopped falling. Barrows caressed his sizzling skin as she moved to stand in front of him. Again, she grasped his erection and stepped in close to him.

"You will spend a lot of your free time thinking of how to please me," she whispered brushing her lips against his. "You’ll want to be with me no matter what I do to you."

Barrows kissed him. The Doctor responded.

"Oh my," he murmured.

"Oh my, indeed," Barrows murmured then quickly jerked him off until he came. "You are mortified at what I’ve done. You are incredibly excited. Is this correct?"

"Yes," he said with amazement. "Fascinating."

"You see, potential slaves have a craving for intense tactile and emotional sensation," Barrows said. "They need experiences that push them to the very edge. Do you want to be pushed to the edge?"

"Well... in the interest of research..." the Doctor said. "I think we should proceed."

"Mistress Torres will be the one to stretch your boundaries for a little while," Barrows said. "I will answer your questions."

Torres walked around the Doctor with a bullwhip in one hand and a wooden object in the other. The expression on her face made me feel sorry for the Doctor.

"Good evening, Doctor," Torres said. "I thought I’d use some of the instruments that you’ve expressed curiosity about before."

She walked behind him then circled an arm around his waist caressing his belly. The Doctor relaxed and even started to become aroused once more.

"It’s completely lubricated," she purred in his ear." The object will cause a fullness and make you feel very aware down there."

I saw the movement when Torres impaled the Doctor. I thought it was a little rough, but I didn’t expect the scream she wrenched out of him.

"Mistress Torres, what did you lubricate that thing with?" Barrows demanded.

"I thought it was lubricant, Mistress," Torres said with dismay, "I think it was liniment."

Chakotay winced beside me.

"How careless!" Barrows snapped. To anyone unfamiliar with the glean in her eyes, the statement sounded sincere. "You will have to be punished."

"Yes, Mistress," Torres said with as much glumness as she could manage.

"Do I get to watch?" The Doctor gritted though his teeth. I was amazed at the details his program got right. He was fighting for breath from the pain, and he was very, very angry.

"I’m afraid not. Discipline of a Mistress is a private matter," Barrows said. "I understand you have an arrangement with the Captain"

"Arrangement?" Lord Byron asked. "What sort of arrangement?"

"She allows him to monitor the more intense physical sessions with her slaves," Barrows said.

"And you seemed so proper," the poet quipped. "You really are a deviant, aren’t you?

"I’m monitoring the physical safety of the crew," the Doctor responded heatedly. "I get no pleasure out of it."

"And I don’t suppose your willie is at attention now, is it?" He replied.

The Doctor was mortified.

Barrows rose from her throne to return to the Doctor, then petted his chest. "There, there, pet," she cooed. A couple of kisses refocused him. "Sometimes, a session will get out of hand. It won’t happen again."

The Doctor had fallen into her gaze. I knew that place well. She fondled his nipples pinching them into hardness. Meanwhile, Torres was pacing in the background with the bullwhip.

"You need to be more aware of your body." Barrows said.

"How is that possible?"

"I’m going to blindfold you," she replied. "It will focus your senses primarily on the tactile."

After the Doctor was blindfolded, Barrows lashed him once more. It was one of her finesse whippings. She was bringing his skin to life from his neck to his ankles. The Doctor was beginning to moan.

"Let it go, Doctor," Barrows said. "Now is not the time to be analytical."

Barrows signaled Torres, then returned to Byron and conjured up a glass of wine. The first lash of that whip fell with a mighty crack which startled the Doctor. The pain made him shout.

"You don’t use this on your slaves," he gasped.

"Of course not," Barrows said. "But you’re a special case."

"Humanoids have a safety mechanism when they reach the threshold of pain," Torres said. "With the proper adjustments, that could be blocked. I could keep you in agony for hours."

The next ten blows were without mercy. The Doctor certainly did let go. The only reason the Lieutenant stopped was her arm tired. The Doctor’s legs buckled. His head hung forward.

"Mistress Torres," Barrows said. "Your point has been made. Ease his pain.’

Torres tossed the whip aside. "Yes, Mistress."

She went to the control panel and punched in a few buttons. The welts disappeared. The Doctor relaxed. Barrows released the shackles.

"On your knees, pet," Barrows said. "My impulsive young Mistress thought one lesson you needed was in empathy."

The Doctor nodded. "She was correct."

"Enough punishment then, Doctor," Barrows said. "Time for more of the other edge of the sword. Pleasure is the best part of an existence."

"I heartily concur." Byron said merrily. "And the more carnal the pleasure, the better."

"Absolutely," Barrows purred.

A plush carpet appeared beneath the Doctor. Barrows slowly walked toward him.

"Look at me, Doctor."

When his eyes were on her, Barrows removed her panties. "Lay down spread eagle." The Doctor was shackled again.

"Relax and enjoy," she murmured. Barrows straddled then quickly mounted the Doctor. She rode him expertly while toying with his nipples. The Doctor’s eyes were locked onto her face. Since he had little experience reigning in his glands, the poor being didn’t last long. It was more than enough for me. Seeing the Mistress in action like that evoked overwhelming memories. I was trembling. Chakotay kissed me briefly.

As much to my continued turmoil as to keep the Doctor on edge, Barrows did not dress. She returned to her throne. Byron handle her the glass she’d left with him.

"Relentless cruelty and savage coupling," Byron said. "You certainly know how to throw a party."

"Thank you, darling," Barrows said. "Will you come again?"

"Try to keep me away, dear lady." he said.

Barrows dismissed him. The Doctor was released and clothed in an instant. "How do you feel, Doctor?"

He seemed to search for the words. "I don’t know... on an intellectual level, I should be ready to flee and never return. But physically, the extremes were exhilarating."

The Doctor turned to Torres who was leaning on a pillar nearby observing.

"Lieutenant, I do apologize for what happened with my other half. You were correct. My lack of empathy with those who can feel pain does make me view choices in an empirical manner," he said quietly. "Such decisions will not happen again without serious consideration."

"Thank you,’ she replied.

"Splendid," Barrows smiled. "You can explore your curiosity here. I believe I’ve demonstrated there is a lot I know."

"Indeed," he replied. "Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot to process.

"Of course," Barrows said. "Until next time."

"Ladies," he said then left with haste.

"Well, my dear," Barrows smiled. "It’s just you and me."

"Mistress?"

"Kathryn knows you have been curious about being with me," Barrows said. "She has decided to leave it up to you. Do you think you’re ready for me?"

Torres walked toward Barrows then dropped to her knees. "I would be honored, Mistress. How may I serve?"

"Get up," Barrows said. "I have a taste for a little Klingon intimacy."

Without preamble, Barrows pounced on Torres knocking her onto her back. She bit B’Elanna on the face immediately after they hit the floor.

Torres growled then attempted to pin Barrows, but she was nearly helpless against the strength of a holoprogram. The Lieutenant was deftly stripped while being knocked about the room. It appeared brutal, but Torres would not back down.

"This isn’t fair, Mistress," she snarled.

Barrows pinned Torres with both wrists above her head straddling her at the hips.

"I know," Barrows smiled, "But I’m sure you’ll be beyond caring soon.

Barrows pinched B’Elanna’s nipples then pulled on them making Torres gasp.

"What lovely nipples, my dear and so responsive," Barrows said. She lowered her head to nip at them with her teeth and suck them hard.

Torres began to moan and sob. Barrows watched her intently.

"All the fight is gone isn’t it, pet?" Barrows said.

"Yes... yes, Mistress."

"You need me to take care of that wet, throbbing snatch, don’t you?"

"Oh... oh... please, Mistress."

Barrows moved slightly so she could reach between B’Elanna’s legs. She toyed with the poor girl’s clit until she was nearly screaming.

"You are quite a find. The things I could make you do... make you take... for this." Barrows said. Shoving her fingers inside while her thumb continued torturing B’Elanna’s sensitive nub. After the coming subsided and the moans quieted to a whimper, Barrows made Torres clean her hand and dress.

"Thank you, Kathryn. I’ve enjoyed myself thoroughly," Barrows said. "And doing this log was fun as well. I love people admiring my work. I also enjoy knowing that the beautiful Commander is about to pound you senseless because of it. Barrows out."
 
 

The screen went dark. Chakotay inhaled then exhaled. He turned off the monitor, pushed aside the unit, fluffed up his pillows then turned to me. The look in his eyes made me start to moan. She slanted his mouth across mine in a searing, hungry kiss.

I’m not sure what happened next.


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