15

The Ultimate Postulant


Note of What Has Gone Before: Q, the mischievous member of the omnipotent Q Continuum, offered Kathryn Janeway an unusual proposition.  To end a civil war within the Continuum, Q asked Janeway to be the mother of a new Q race.  She declined.


Captain's Personal Log:

If I have ever been angrier in my entire life, I could not remember it. It wasn’t just the embarrassment. My crew, I discovered, thought enough of me to be indignant on my behalf. That helped a little. Still, I was unaccustomed to having my bedroom activities broadcast when I hadn’t directed it.

Even more infuriating was the inconvenience of it all. There was nothing happening on Voyager that needed more than routine attention. I had a circle of slaves needing my stern administration and an unruly lover that I had been considering for discipline. After being stopped by the super nova, I had been more than ready for some serious recreation.

A little rest, I thought, then some bottoms are going to be very sore. I looked forward to hearing Tom Paris’ ever creative pleas for leniency then his gasping, moaning submission. I so loved to watch his fair face flush as he came. I adored the innocence of his long lashes and the obscenities he was shouting. Then there were the thoughts of my ever obedient, intensely orgasmic First One or the delicious Ensign! My anticipation was quite high. I needed it. Then here comes that omnipotent busy-body with his cosmic-clock. It was like a bucket of ice-water dosed on my lap. I was not happy at all.

After the first encounter... Actually, it was after I talked to Chakotay, that I began to be afraid. It had been with the greatest reluctance that I even told him what happened. For the briefest of moments, I considered not saying a word about the specifics, but that would have hurt him.

As the words registered in his mind, I regretted my decision. Every muscle in his body tensed as the incredulity wore off and the reality set in. He managed to contain himself, I was convinced, because he was in shock. But that wouldn’t last long. Chakotay might do anything and Q would do something terrible in response. I could lose him forever in the blink of an eye.

This terrified me, then made me furious. In one of the few moments where I was alone long enough to think, I centered my thoughts and feelings and decided to bring into firm line those areas over which I had control.

I went to Chakotay first because he was my biggest concern. It was apparent that he had just finished meditating when I came in.

"Did it help?" I asked.

"No," he replied ruefully.

I walked over to him standing near, but not touching him. "You must not interfere," I said quietly.

"How can I not?" he demanded. He grasped me firmly by the shoulders. "Q can do what he wants with you. There is no way to stop him from taking what he wants."

"Yes, there is," I replied gently. "He wants me too badly. But he wants my willing surrender."

Chakotay looked doubtful.

"For some reason that I can’t fathom, he has become fixated on winning me," I said. ‘That gives me at least a small advantage."

I thought of Dax for a moment then realized that, once again, Barrows had been right.

"What is that witchy little smile for?" he asked. He was smiling himself. "You almost make me feel sorry for him."

"You should," I replied. My heart was pounding. Chakotay’s nearness and that smile were making me feel like doing many things that were not a good idea at the time. "I’d better go."

He responded by pulling me flush with his body holding me close enough to feel every muscle and to know how keenly interested he was in me at that moment. He brushed his lips across my temple.

"No," I moaned starting to struggle. "We can’t... not now."

"I know... I know, shhhh," he said. "I just need to hold you for a moment."

I was melting. My own control was beginning to wane. I caressed the muscles down his back and pressed closer. I wanted his kiss so badly. I needed that hard mouth against mine and his tongue subduing mine. But the thought of my intruder jolted me back to reality. I firmly disengaged.

Chakotay closed his eyes and took a few deep, slow breaths.

"If it will help, I will make him pay," I said.

"It only helps a little," he replied. "Go. Kathryn, please. I’m not quite as strong as I thought."

I wanted to say something, but couldn’t think of anything besides moaning his name, pulling off my clothes and demanding he take me on the floor. That wouldn’t do, so I stumbled out the door.

"Janeway to Kim," I said much more stridently, than I should have.

"This is Kim," I could hear the confusion in his tone.

"Where are you?"

"My quarters with Tom."

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to blot out the images of their young, naked bodies entangled together. "Understood. I’m on my way."

"Yes, Captain!" he said brightly.

"Belay that, Mr. Kim," I said quietly. "It will be a visit from the Captain."

There was a brief pause.

"Understood," Kim replied.

They were dressed when I arrived, but their faces were flushed with spent passion. I could see the red marks on Tom’s neck where Harry bit him. This was in my opinion, so unfair to me. First, I had to give up a primed and ready Chakotay. Next, I’m missing out on making a Janeway sandwich. Q is damned lucky that he is immortal, I thought.

"Dear ones, we’ll have to take a break from each other -- or actually from me," I said. "Until our ‘guest’ moves on, I don’t want to risk your lives."

"We aren’t afraid of him," Tom said to Kim with less certainty than I expected. "Are we?"

"This has to be my fight," I said. "I’m the one he’s after and that protects me from his wrath for now. You must not interfere."

There were silent. There wasn’t much that could be said.

"If he turned either one of you into frogs, I’d never forgive myself or you," I said making a brave attempt to smile.

I moved to embrace Kim then Tom moved in behind me. They squeezed me tight for a moment. Both of them were ready for more, but I couldn’t give it to them. They let me go, then I left.

The emotional intensity of the afternoon was absolutely draining. I was actually looking forward to having a long hot bath then going to bed alone. When the door opened, there was a flash and I found myself outside in the woods of New Earth. I was in a dress I often wore there, and my panties were gone. The shack was just as we left it. I could smell dinner cooking inside the warmly lit interior. Just beyond, my bathtub was still intact and Q was relaxing in chest high steamy water.

"Send me back," I said with a studied calm.

"Kathy, sometimes you do disappoint me," he said. "Elements of your fantasy life are more those of a giggly school girl than my passionate, headstrong Captain."

"All the more reason to send me back," I replied.

"I just don’t understand what appeal Chuckles has for a woman like you," he said petulantly then began to sponge himself.

"One of the many reasons why you are wasting your time with me," I said. "Now, send me back."

"Very well, then," he replied tossing aside the sponge. "I’ll give you what you want."

Suddenly, I was pressed against a tree. Q’s form had changed. It was the familiar heavy, muscular weight of Chakotay’s body which held me. The touch was the same -- even the scent of his skin. In that vulnerable state, the effect was nearly overwhelming me.

"I can be anyone you want," Q said in Chakotay’s softest, most provocative voice. "Do anything you want."

His hands were in my hair. He was tilting my head up. Our gazes met, then my insides went cold. The amazing mixture of warmth and strength and wry mirth were not there. I saw cold calculation in their depth.

"It won’t work, Q," I said very quietly. "There is more than form to what makes a being who he or she is. You will not succeed this way."

"Then, there is a way," Q said brightly. He was also back to himself. I was back in my quarters. The relief nearly caused my knees to buckle.

"What does it take, dear Kathy?" He asked.

I walked very close to him and stared into his eyes with my most Mistress-sy appraisal. "More than I believe you are capable of doing. Complete surrender and absolute obedience," I said. The purr in my voice was not intentional. That just happens when I say one of my favorite phrases.

"What in blazes does that mean?"

"Figure it out for yourself," I replied then left. I decided to sleep in my Ready Room. I left the bridge monitor on so I could at least hear Chakotay’s voice as I drifted off.

He began appearing everywhere after that. At first, these visitations were random but had a routine logic. He pestered Tuvok often because of our lengthy history. He kept after Chakotay in an effort that was more geared at annoying him than getting information. But then the appearances began to focus on my circle. There was Kim and Paris separately at the resort. He cornered B’Elanna in engineering. Even the delectable Ensign was not spared interrogation. That I would have enjoyed seeing. I’m certain that Q left much more confused after than he was before.

The Circle was having a difficult time reining in their annoyance and impatience. I met with all but Chakotay to calm them.

"So, he’s learning about the Circle," Tom said. "You’re not thinking of letting him in, are you?"

"The Mistress reigning discipline on an immortal," I said half to myself. "Not even Barrows can claim that."

"We have enough now," Tom persisted. "It takes too long for the rotation to get back to me already."

I eyed him ruefully. "For your selfless concern for your fellow slaves, I believe I will hang you on a hook upside down, jack you off and see if you’ll choke on your own cum."

Tom blushed and his eyes flashed into mine. "Any attention from the Mistress is welcome."

I wanted to kiss him, but if I tasted any part of him, I’d want to tongue him in his entirety. With a little concentration, I shook myself back to the matter at hand.

"Patience, dear ones," I said. "Trust me. This will be over soon."

I looked at their luscious faces then took a deep breath. "I want you all to have a salacious evening. You can re-enact it for me when the crisis is over."

They gave me a sullen "Yes, Mistress." I left them and headed for my quarters once more.

Another flash and I was at the Club on Earth. From the faces I saw there it would have been when I was in Starfleet Academy. Q was at my side in postulate wear -- naked with a collar. The leash was in my hand. I was in The Outfit.

For a moment, I savored the sweet warm breeze that rustled my hair. I thought about going to see Barrows alive and vibrant once more, but I didn’t move. I glanced at Q whose eyes were cast down in an attempt at submissiveness.

"I will not play along here, Q," I replied. "On my terms or not at all. Did you learn nothing from my others and the logs?"

"I thought the surroundings would please you," he said quietly.

"If I trusted you more, I might have believed you. This is manipulation."

I dropped my end of the leash. "The Mistress will not be manipulated. We go back now or you will proceed no further."

We were back in my quarters. Q was shackled standing near my bed naked. His penis was inordinately large -- inhumanly large. Bigger than any humanoid I’ve ever heard about. It was fully erect and looked like a staff.

"If you aren’t going to be realistic, this is doomed right now," I said.

"Yes Mistress," Q said. "I’ll try another which may be to your liking."

The penis transformed. I stared at it for a moment unwilling to trust what I was seeing. But it was what I thought it was -- Curzon’s distinctive member in perfect form and, no doubt, potency. The fury hit me like a hot blast of air.

I walked along side him and whispered in his ear, "Do you know what slaves fear more than the wrath of a Mistress?" I asked.

"N- no," he replied.

"Her Ambivalence," I replied cooly. "This session is over. Get out."

"What?" He flashed to stand in front of me as I stormed into my living room. "You aren’t going to lash me for my impudence? Flail me raw like you do Paris?"

"No, you have not earned my attentions," I replied. "You have not sought permission for anything tonight. Even my most stubborn conquest was able to kneel and beg for service."

He stood still with a bemused look on his face. "I, a Q should kneel before a tiny humanoid woman just because she looks fascinating in animal hides?"

I walked around him slowly. "Because you want to, pet. Because you need to find out exactly what I can give you; how I can take you out of yourself with pleasure.

"You’ve already admitted a fascination with what I do. I can see your desire very plainly. While you are flesh, you are a slave to it, Q," I said. "And well on your way to being a slave to me. Let it go, pet. Stop trying to always be in control and let someone else take over."

"How can I?" he said with genuine exasperation. "I’m immortal, I don’t know how to not be in control."

"Pity," I whispered. My lips were centimeters from brushing his chest. I blew the fine hair on it and gave him goose bumps. He inhaled sharply.

"Kathy..." He said miserably.

"I beg your pardon, postulant," I replied sharply.

"Mistress," he said. He lowered his eyes.

"You can’t control your flesh, Q. Give it to me," I said. "Now, my exasperating one, on your knees."

Q began to sink to his knees. He didn’t look at me.

"Bend over and rest your right cheek on the carpet. Clasp your hands behind your back," I said. It was quite amazing to me that he was being so very obedient.

I traced the outline of his spine with the end of the riding crop. He was breathing deeply. I moved it slowly along the crease of his ass thinking about where to begin.

"You wish to serve me?"

"Yes... Mistress..."

"Prove it to me," I said.

"How?" he was incredulous.

"I will not wrench my arm from my socket on skin that cannot feel pain from my lash," I replied. "Give me a whip that you will feel, now."

For a long moment, nothing happened. Then my riding crop felt different in my hands. It was heavier by a fraction and seemed to radiate a force from within.

"How ironic you should choose Picard’s gift." I murmured.

Q’s mouth twitched half a smile.

"On his behalf and mine, I shall enjoy this," I whispered. I raised the riding crop high over my head and swung downward. Before I could connect, he vanished.

I smiled triumphantly. He reappeared seconds later wearing the full out leather Master’s outfit.

"How do they do it, Kathy," he demanded. "How do they submit to the pain and humiliation?"

"They get me in return," I said. "Besides, I didn’t touch you."

"I am an immortal," he said indignantly. "I can fully imagine what it would be like -- I lived every painful, humiliating blow in the instant before you reached my sensitive skin."

"I see," I replied. "Well, you may go."

That’s the only way you’ll concede?"

"That’s right," I purred. "And you know you want to surrender to me. It frightens you."

"There must be another way," he said. "And I’ll find it."

"And you will always wonder about what you missed," I said.

The immortal Q looked uncertain. I felt gloriously powerful as he flashed out of my sight. The riding crop remained unchanged from when Q altered it. I would have to keep it away from the others.

The rest of that encounter with Q is a matter of ship record and too trying for the chronicles here. The heavy damage Voyager sustained during the Q continuum war kept me too busy, then too tired for rewarding Chakotay in what promised to be an incredible performance piece. We repaired the ship and drifted back to our routines.

However, a footnote must be added. Days afterward, he returned without his son. The appearance was in my quarters as I was reading in bed.

"You have started something that I cannot get out of my mind," he said. "Even tormenting Jean-Luc about you did not satisfy."

"No, it wouldn’t," I replied. "He knows the force you are dealing with."

"What do I do?"

I smiled at him. "When you are ready, there will be no question. Goodnight, Q."

He nodded thoughtfully then disappeared.


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