Title: Where I Belong
Author: Natalie L
Author Email: nat1228@comcast.net
Rating: NC-17
Status: Complete
Archive: Yes to SXF, WWOMB, Fries
Author's website: https://www.squidge.org/~nat1228/TSslash.htm

Written: May-July 2000
Revised and expanded: January, 2002
Previously published by Agent With Style

Disclaimer: Pet Fly and Paramount own the copyright to The Sentinel 
and its characters. This piece of fan fiction was written solely 
for the love of the characters and to share freely with other fans. 
No profit is being made from the posting of this story.

Episode related: Warriors

Warnings: lyrics, m/m

Author's notes: Many thanks to Becky for the use of parts of her
episode transcripts for "Warriors." You made my job much easier.

Thanks also to my intrepid betas: Allison and Heather-Anne, for the
original version, and Heather-Anne and Kimberly for this revised and
expanded version. Couldn't do it without you!

Summary: Blair learns an important lesson about his newfound abilities
and Jim comes to the reluctant conclusion that Blair's visions make
him Jim's equal.


WHERE I BELONG
by Natalie L
nat1228@comcast.net


//But tonight you're where I belong//

=====||=====

Blair Sandburg was exhausted. He had spent the day at Rainier covering
for another Teaching Fellow who was out with the flu. To make a long
day longer, he had mandatory office hours and yet another meeting with
his dis committee. He was going to have to hand in something soon, or
lose his grants and fellowship status.

Shifting the heavy backpack on his shoulder, he trudged up the stairs
to the third floor, fumbling to put the key in the lock.

As the door swung open, he stumbled in to be greeted by a sight that
brought him up short. Dropping his backpack near the entrance and his
keys on the table, he stared. "Where's the party?" he asked, confused.

Before him stood a small knot of men, all dressed in formal dark
suits. Simon Banks, Captain of Major Crime, stood near the staircase
to the upper level of the loft. To his right stood Captain Joel
Taggert and Detectives Rafe and Brown. To his left stood Jim Ellison,
decked out in a tux, his arm resting in a formal black sling, grinning
widely at him.

"Right here. Right now," Jim informed him. "Your change of clothes is
on the bed." He indicated the stairs to the upper level. "Hurry up and
get dressed."

Crossing the room toward the stairs, Blair gave Jim a questioning
look, which was met by shooing motions. "Upstairs, Sandburg," Jim
growled, smiling at him.

Curiosity won out over exhaustion, and he trudged up the stairs. A
tuxedo was carefully laid out on their bed. Blair groaned. He *was*
tired, and getting into one of those things was a major commitment of
energy.

"Don't take all night," Simon called up to him. "Some of us have work
to do, you know."

"Yeah, yeah," Blair mumbled. "Keep your pants on. I'm coming." 

As quickly as he could manage, he donned the tux, fastened the
cummerbund and tied his hair back into a ponytail. As he descended to
the main floor, all eyes in the room focused on him. "So, what gives?"
he asked, stepping off the bottom stair.

Jim slid an arm around his waist and turned him to face their guests.
Pulling a small velvet box from the recesses of his pocket, he took a
deep breath. "The laws of the State of Washington don't recognize
same-sex marriages," he began, smiling when he saw Blair's jaw drop at
the statement, "so I've decided I want the next best thing." He opened
the box and extracted a gold wedding band. "You represent our closest
friends," he addressed the gathering. "And as such, I ask that you be
our witnesses."

He knelt in front of Blair. Taking his left hand, he slipped the band
on the third finger. "Blair, with this ring I pledge to you my love
and loyalty through whatever adversities might try to separate us, for
as long as we live. Will you consent to being my life partner?"

Blair stared numbly at the gold band before lifting his eyes to look
at his lover. His lips trembled, but managed to form the words, "I
will."

"Congratulations," Simon spoke into the hushed room. "You are now
officially an old married couple." He clapped both men on the back,
smiling broadly.

Then Taggert, Rafe and Brown joined the group, laughing and
congratulating the new couple.

Blair tugged at the sleeve of Jim's tux. "Can I talk to you for a
minute?" He paused to look around at their friends. "Alone?" he added.

"Yeah, sure," Jim agreed, shrugging to their guests and following
Blair into his old bedroom.

"*What* was *that* all about? I thought we weren't telling *anyone*
except Simon!" Blair struggled to keep his voice muted.

"Our little adventure got me thinking. I don't ever want to live
without you. Hell, I'd prefer to never let you out of my sight," Jim
admitted. "I guess I'm just tired of hiding my feelings for you,
that's all."

"You could have *warned* me!"

"Blair, I love you. There are times at work where all I want to do is
hold your hand or put my arm around you. Times when you deserve to be
kissed for some brilliant insight. I don't want to have to hold back
on that anymore."

"Jim . . . these men are our friends. They understand. But what about
the rest of the people in the department? There are some real
homophobes out there. This is going to seriously mess with your
reputation."

"You really think they're going to want to take on an ex-Army Ranger
with covert ops training?" Jim grinned wickedly. 

"Maybe not, but they wouldn't think twice about messing with an
anthropology grad student with observer status," Blair reminded him
flatly.

"Anyone messes with you, answers to *me*. And they *know* it."

"But . . . don't you think maybe it's wiser to be a little discreet?"
Blair asked.

"I can do discreet, when we're on the job. But nobody tells me what to
do in my free time, or in my own home," Jim argued. Seeing the
distress lines growing around his lover's eyes, he softened his voice.
"Are you really uncomfortable with this, Blair? Because if you are, it
doesn't have to go any further than this circle of our friends."

"Someone's going to notice the ring."

"So? Wear it on the chain with your medic alert tag. I don't care. I
just want to know that you're mine. Officially. Now and forever."

"Uh-huh," Blair deadpanned. "I'm yours. Like your property? I don't
*think* so, Jim. You're mine!" Grabbing the satin lapels in his fists,
Blair pulled Jim down into a hard, passionate kiss. "And I don't care
*who* knows it!" he added once he had come up for air.

There was a light rap on the doorframe. "Ah, gentlemen?" Simon's voice
interrupted. "It's getting late. We're just going to let ourselves
out. See you in the morning?"

"Good-night, Simon," came the sound of two voices through the door.

"Good-night, gentlemen," the Captain chuckled as he retreated to
gather up his tiny flock of detectives and leave.

As the soft sound of footsteps retreated, and the front door to the
loft closed, Blair pulled back slightly within Jim's embrace. "Think
they heard us talking?"

"I *know* they did!" Jim laughed. "At least we're alone now."

"On our wedding night."

Jim's eyes sparkled. "That's right."

"Did the doctor release you for strenuous physical activity?" Blair
asked with a wicked grin as they made their way up the stairs to their
bedroom.

"Just this afternoon, as a matter of fact," Jim answered. He reached
up with his good arm to ruffle Blair's hair. "And I plan on fucking
you into next Tuesday."

"You'll have to catch me first." Blair bounded up the remaining stairs
ahead of his mate, but found himself firmly nailed to the mattress in
short order.

"Gotcha," Jim growled, his larger frame pinning the smaller man to the
bed.

The sound that bubbled up from beneath Jim was that of pure joy. "I'm
feeling better already." Blair smiled up at him.

~~oO0Oo~~

The golden sand was warm beneath his feet. Aquamarine water crested in
foamy white waves upon the shore. Laughter drifted to his sensitive
ears from far down the beach.

Jim trained his eyes on the flicker of motion a thousand feet or more
down the stretch of sand. A figure emerged from the surf, body
glistening as water streamed from his long hair. 

Blair came running toward him, waving a morning greeting; his naked
body flushed with exertion as he ran through the soft sand.

"Have you no shame? No sense of decency?" The Sentinel laughed as his
love approached.

"Who's going to see?" Blair answered, matter-of-factly. "There's no
one around for miles. We've got the beach to ourselves for two
glorious weeks, and *I* intend to work on my tan.

"And quite a nice tan it's turning out to be," Jim commented,
gathering Blair into his arms. 

Blair tilted his head back, exposing the long line of his neck and
parting his lips invitingly. His body arched, pressing his hips
against his lover's, forcing Jim to bear most of his weight so that he
wouldn't tip over backward. The pose was only one of many wanton
displays by the young man. Since arriving at their remote South
American location, Blair had elected to "go native," much to Jim's
delight.

Just as Jim was leaning in to capture the full lips, Blair twisted in
his embrace and broke free.

"Follow me!" he called over his shoulder as he ran off down the beach
once more. "I want you to see something!"

Jim took off at a run, but despite his longer legs, Blair remained
just out of reach. The young shaman stopped at the blanket he had laid
out on the sand, only to find himself at the bottom of a tangle of
arms and legs a moment later.

"Jim! Jim, man, let up a bit, would you?" Blair struggled to be out
from beneath the heavy weight pinning him. "Ooof!" Additional comments
were smothered by Jim's mouth covering his. 

Blair not only allowed the kiss, but melted into it, letting his body
relax. His tongue darted out to taste the richness of his partner's
mouth, and found himself in a duel for dominance.

Once the passionate kiss ended, Jim began to caress the bare skin,
kissing his way down Blair's neck to his chest. As soon as the
Sentinel had sifted his weight off the smaller man, Blair was once
more up and running toward the surf.

"Come on, Jim! I want to show you something!" he called from
waist-deep in the ocean. 

His partner growled his disapproval at being interrupted, but began to
strip, tossing his clothes down onto the blanket. "I'm going to get
you, my little sea sprite!" Jim splashed into the surf and made a
straight line toward his laughing partner.

Blair turned and dove into the gentle waves, long strokes taking him
out toward deeper water. It wasn't long before he felt a tap at his
ankle, and was suddenly dragged beneath the surface of the blue-green
water.

Jim crawled his way up Blair's body, encircling his waist and
preparing to swim them back to the surface, but Blair wasn't ready to
go. Smiling, he pointed out the colorful fish darting just beneath
them. The white sand of the ocean floor showed clearly in the shallow
water. Seaweed of various colors and forms waved gracefully.

Dragging his lover along, Blair pointed out the wonders of their
tropical beach, until the need to breathe finally forced him to the
surface. Gulping in large draughts of the humid air, he tread water
until Jim was once more next to him.

"Isn't that the most incredible thing you've ever seen?" Blair gushed.

"No," Jim admitted, smiling as he wrapped an arm around the younger
man's waist. "I'm *holding* the most incredible thing I've ever seen."
He captured Blair's astonished mouth and kissed him soundly, barely
managing to keep both their heads above water. "Can we go back now?"

Blair nodded, and they swam the short distance back to shore. Suddenly
subdued, Blair made no effort to escape when Jim led him over to the
blanket and pulled him down.

Jim began at once to kiss his way down the pale flesh, reveling in the
tangy salt flavoring his Guide's skin. His lips brushed the erect nub
of a nipple and he latched on, teasing the firm flesh with his teeth.

Blair moaned loudly, uninhibited, and ground his hips against Jim.

Feeling the hard column of flesh pressing into his thigh, Jim moved
his kisses lower until his lips finally curled around the head of the
leaking cock.

"Oh, Jim! Oh, God!" Blair grabbed at Jim's hair and tried to force him
to take more in.

Jim resisted, holding the bucking hips still and ignoring the slight
pain caused by the fingers gripping his hair. He swirled his tongue
around the tip of Blair's cock, following the crease to the tiny hole
that leaked the sweet nectar of pre-come. Paying no attention to
Blair's cries, he took his time, inching down the length, licking and
nipping at the tender skin.

Blair was all but sobbing by the time Jim took his cock into his
mouth, sucking and licking as he swallowed it to the root. Jim
continued his maddeningly slow pace, payback for the way Blair had
teased him earlier. When he felt Blair's body tense in preparation for
his orgasm, Jim released the rigid cock, letting it fall, moist and
throbbing, onto Blair's belly.

"Awwwww! JIM!" Blair squirmed against the larger man, wrapping his own
fingers around his aching penis, seeking relief.

"Not yet, Sprite," Jim crooned in one shell-shaped ear. He peeled
Blair's fingers from his cock and rolled him over.

Blair reached up to the edge of the blanket where he had left the one
item he'd brought with him that morning besides the blanket, a tube of
K-Y Jelly, and handed it back to Jim.

Jim took the ointment and spread it liberally on his fingers before
inserting one carefully into Blair's ass. The young man pressed back,
accepting the digit fully, grunting and panting with his need.

"Hurry, Jim. *Please*!" Blair pleaded, trying to speed the rhythm of
the slow finger-fuck.

"Patience," Jim whispered. "You owe me."

"Yes! Yes!" panted Blair, willing to admit to anything in order to end
the slow torture.

Jim added a second finger, and a third, stroking in and out with a
gentle tempo, purposefully managing to barely avoid touching Blair's
prostate. Any stimulation now to that most sensitive gland would bring
Blair to climax, and Jim wasn't quite ready for that yet.

He eased his fingers out. His lover was now whimpering with need,
grinding his cock into the blanket and the soft sand beneath in an
effort to find relief.

"Patience," Jim whispered. "We're almost there." He placed the head of
his cock against the stretched opening and pushed slowly inside,
burying his length in one long thrust. Wrapping his fist around
Blair's penis, he began a rhythm that matched his thrusts into the hot
tunnel of Blair's body.

Blair's hips rocked in counterpoint, perfectly matching the thrusts of
his mate. His cries echoed down the beach as he was pleasured out of
his mind. Jim finally took pity and thrust deep, angling to hit
Blair's prostate. He withdrew and struck again. Over and over, as
Blair screamed out his name, shooting come all over his belly and
chest, coating Jim's hand in the viscous fluid.

Jim began to thrust faster and harder, pounding into the channel that
clenched tightly around him in spasms as Blair came. His own climax
hit soon after, leaving both men weak and sated. He eased out of
Blair's body, and turned his lover over to cuddle him close. The young
man offered no resistance.

Jim reached up to brush damp, sandy hair from where it had plastered
itself against Blair's face. The blue eyes were closed, but they moved
rapidly beneath the lids, as though in REM sleep. Fear began to creep
slowly into his bones, chilling his body even in the warmth of the
tropical sun. Within the circle of his arms, Blair trembled.

==|+|==|+|==|+|==

Blair stood naked in the jungle, near the Temple of the Sentinels. He
turned slowly, looking for the reason why he was here. A voice came
from behind him.

//Welcome, Shaman of the Great City.// Incacha stood at the edge of
the clearing, naked but for a small loin cloth, his body painted with
mysterious symbols. //You have passed the tests: You were passed the
Way. You have walked the spirit plane in search of answers, and have
saved your sentinel's life. Now you have joined with him, heart and
soul.//

Chopec warriors began appearing from the jungle growth. They
approached Blair and began painting his body with symbols of power. A
necklace of beads with a totem pouch was placed around his neck, and a
head dress of feathers was placed on his head.

//You now take your rightful place as shaman and guide at your
sentinel's side. Guard him well. It is your life's duty.//

"But, but," Blair stuttered. "I do not know what to *do*! I love Jim.
He's my soulmate. He completes me. But I - I still do not know how to
use this to protect him!"

//Follow your heart, Shaman. Listen to the speakings of your soul. Do
not try to deny your gift. Use it.// Incacha began to fade, becoming
ethereal, like smoke. //Use it.//

"Incacha!" Blair reached out toward the disappearing shaman. . . .

==|+|==|+|==|+|==

. . . and bumped into the solid flesh of Jim's chest. He opened his
eyes, fighting to focus.

"God, Blair!" Jim had to restrain himself from shouting at the young
man. "Don't *do* that to me! I'm going to get a complex if you start
having seizures after I've fucked you."

Blair reached a hand up to caress Jim's cheek. Still struggling to
focus his sight, he looked at the worried blue eyes. "Sorry. Love you,
Jim." His eyes drooped shut again. Staying awake after a seizure was
always a struggle.

"Love you, too, dammit," Jim whispered, sitting up. Kneeling beside
the somnolent man, he scooped his lover into his arms. "Guess I'd
better get you out of the sun before you turn to toast." He carried
his sleeping Guide back to their hut and laid him on the grass mats,
covering him with a light-weight blanket.

Blair awoke a couple hours later to the smell of fresh fish frying. He
pushed himself up, and brushed tangled hair from his eyes.

"About time," Jim commented, smiling. "I thought you'd sleep through
lunch. How are you feeling?"

"Good. I'm good," Blair said, still feeling a little confused. "Did I
have another seizure?"

"What do you think?" Jim replied grimly. "You scared the shit out me.
We'd just shared an earth-shattering mutual orgasm, and you start
shaking in my arms like a leaf."

"How long?"

"Too damn long!" Jim shuddered at the memory.

"I'm sorry." Blair's voice was very soft. "I've been taking the pills,
honest. I couldn't help it."

Jim walked across the small room and crouched down beside his mate,
stroking his cheek with the back of his hand. "I know, Sweetheart. You
don't have to apologize. I was just scared, that's all. I'll get over
it."

"I saw Incacha."

"Really?" Jim's interest was piqued. "Did he say anything to you?"

Blair looked up with huge blue eyes. "Yeah. He said I'd passed all the
tests. I'm a true shaman now. He told me not to deny my gift, to use
it."

"No." Jim shook his head in denial, cupping Blair's face in the palm
of his hands. "He can't mean the seizures. They're a curse, not a
gift. He wouldn't ask that of you . . . of me."

A light began to dawn in the ocean-blue eyes of the younger man. "No,
not a curse." He shook his head gently, still held by Jim's hands.
"The visions saved your life, Jim. That's a blessing. If this is what
I have to live with to guard you and keep you safe, it's a small price
to pay."

"But I'm *your* Blessed Protector!" Jim argued, remembering a long-ago
discussion after the case with David Lash.

"We protect each other," Blair corrected him. "It's my job as your
guide to watch your back, to protect you from harm while you use your
senses to protect the tribe. Besides," he added, "it's in my best
interests to keep you alive. There isn't anyone else that can fuck me
like you do."

"You'd better believe it!" Jim placed a quick kiss on the waiting
lips, then turned back to the small cookstove. "Why don't you get
cleaned up while I finish fixing lunch?"

Blair tossed the blanket aside and got a good whiff of his
semen-stained body. "Yeah. I think I'll take you up on that." He
exited the hut and walked down the beach to the ocean. After he'd
washed up, he dressed in loose white cotton pants and a tropical-print
shirt. His wet hair was tied back into a ponytail.

"What do you want to do after lunch?" Jim asked, dishing up the fish
and fried potatoes.

"Well, this *is* our honeymoon," Blair reminded him. "We can explore
the beach. Then fuck. We could wander into the jungle in search of
succulent fruits to supplement our meals. Then make love. We could
fish in the surf. Then fuck again. After dinner, we could count the
stars. . . ."

"And make out under the full moon?"

"Yeah, fucking's good."

"Then we could wash out your mouth, Sprite. Where did you learn to
talk like that?" Jim chuckled.

"Only from the best, man. Only from the best." Blair wrapped his arms
around the Sentinel and squeezed. "I love you."

"Forever," Jim agreed.


To be continued in Blessed Protector...