Title: Mark of the Shaman
Author: Natalie L
Author Email: nat1228@comcast.net
Rating: NC-17
Status: Complete
Archive: Yes to SXF, WWOMB, Fries
Author's website: https://www.squidge.org/~nat1228/TSslash.htm

Written: May-July 2000
Revised and expanded: January, 2002
Previously published by Agent With Style

Disclaimer: Pet Fly and Paramount own the copyright to The Sentinel 
and its characters. This piece of fan fiction was written solely 
for the love of the characters and to share freely with other fans. 
No profit is being made from the posting of this story.

Episode related: Warriors

Warnings: lyrics, m/m

Author's notes: Many thanks to Becky for the use of parts of her
episode transcripts for "Warriors." You made my job much easier.

Thanks also to my intrepid betas: Allison and Heather-Anne, for the
original version, and Heather-Anne and Kimberly for this revised and
expanded version. Couldn't do it without you!

Summary: A new explanation for Blair's seizures emerges.


MARK OF THE SHAMAN
by Natalie L
nat1228@comcast.net


//Oh I'm so cold, and so far away from my home
But tonight you're where I belong
You're everything right
When I'm everything wrong//

=====||=====

The smells wafting down the hallway from his loft apartment made Jim
Ellison's stomach rumble. He quickened his step, reaching the door and
opening it to . . . darkness. Candles flickered throughout the loft,
decorating every available surface with their golden light. The
fireplace crackled cheerfully.

"Hey, Jim!" Blair greeted his roommate warmly from the kitchen. "Make
yourself comfortable. Dinner's almost ready."

Jim noted his soulmate was dressed for a special occasion. He loved it
when Blair let his hair hang loose, the dark curls softening the
planes of his strong, square jaw. In typical Blair fashion, his
clothing reflected his individualistic personality. Flowing down from
his shoulders, the gold and brown batik-printed caftan had a
distinctly African feel. 

The table was set formally, with candles and flowers. 

"What's going on here?" Jim eyed the younger man suspiciously.

Blair turned from the stove, casserole dish between oven-mitted hands.
"It's our one-month anniversary of becoming an official couple," he
explained. He set the dish on the table and turned to fetch the rest
of their dinner.

As he placed the serving dishes next to the casserole, Jim's stomach
rumbled again. Smiling, Blair began dishing up dinner. Handing Jim a
plate, he chuckled. "Eat up. I want you strong and able for the rest
of the evening."

"Oh yeah? What have you got in mind?" Jim asked, more hungry than
curious at the moment.

"We can talk about that after dinner." Blair smiled enigmatically and
sat down to his meal. 

Jim ate enthusiastically, enjoying the mild curry that managed to just
tingle his senses, without overloading them. Blair had the developed
perfect touch for spices where his sentinel was concerned. Finally
sated, he pushed back from the table and stood. He had begun clearing
the dishes, when a soft hand on his arm stayed his progress.

"That can wait," Blair told him. "I'll take care of it later." He took
hold of Jim's hand, pulling him toward the stairs to their bedroom.
"For now, let me guide you." His voice dropped to a seductive whisper.

~~oO0Oo~~

Much to Jim's surprise, lightly fragranced candles lit their bedroom,
as well. Blair led Jim over to the bed, pushing on his shoulders to
make him sit on the mattress. He then stood directly in front of his
lover, looking down into curious blue eyes. His hair hung loose around
his face, soft and sensual.

Jim looked up into Blair's smoldering gaze. "You are so beautiful,
Love." Reaching up, he pushed the long hair away from Blair's cheeks,
tucking loose strands behind his ears. He then brushed his hands down
along strong, square shoulders until reaching the ties to the flowing
garment his lover wore. Teasing the knot free, he loosened the cords
that bound the caftan closed. Pushing gently against the fabric, he
watched as it cleared Blair's shoulders, slithering gracefully to the
floor. Jim's gaze drank in the sight of Blair's body, naked and
aroused.

"Like what you see?" his lover teased.

"Very much," Jim whispered, brushing fingertips lightly down the
length of Blair's erection. 

His cock twitched in response to the feather touch, and straddling
Jim's lap, he sat down. A playful smile tugged at Blair's lips, as a
moan of pleasure escaped on an exhalation of breath. Leaning in, he
captured Jim's mouth in a passionate kiss. Tongues danced and
explored, each tasting the sweetness of the other.

Blair's weight pressed Jim down against the mattress as his kiss
continued to steal Jim's  breath. Finally, he sat up, grinning down at
the captive man. "Don't you think you're a little overdressed for this
party?" he asked, his voice a sensual purr. 

Blair began to slowly unbutton Jim's shirt, nimble fingers exposing
bare skin to the cool air. Tugging the shirt tails from the older
man's waistband, Blair finished his task, laying bare the vast expanse
of well-muscled chest. His hands caressed the smooth skin, brushing
lightly over sensitive nipples, teasing them.

Bending over, Blair licked one dark pink nub, then blew a puff of air,
watching as it tightened almost painfully, eliciting a small gasp of
surprise from its owner. 

Jim squirmed beneath him as Blair unbuckled his belt and unzipped the
fly of his jeans, releasing the pressure on his expanding cock.
Standing to tug off the offending clothing, Blair finished exposing
his prize. His satisfied smirk was quickly replaced with startled
surprise as Jim sat up suddenly, wrapping his arms around the smaller
man's chest, pinning his hands to his sides.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Jim's voice was an aroused growl.

"What makes you think you deserve me?" Blair continued to tease.

"I don't know that I do," Jim answered. "But deserve you or not, I
*own* you!" Jim flipped the smaller man onto the bed, pinning him
there.

Blair groaned as he felt the moist warmth of his conqueror's mouth
engulf the head of his rigid cock. Soft lips suckled, while an adroit
tongue traced the contours and ridges. With maddening slowness, he
felt himself being pulled in, until his entire length was buried in
that eager throat. Then his lover pulled back, scraping the sensitive
skin with his teeth, eliciting moans and struggles from his captive.
The suckling began again, and Blair bit his lip, willing himself not
to come. "No!" he gasped. "No, Jim." Finding the strength somewhere
within himself, he pulled away. "Tonight, I own *you*."

Jim could hardly contain his delight at the prospect of the normally
submissive Blair becoming the dominant partner. A tremor of
expectation threaded its way through his body as the man who had
captured his heart reached across to the nightstand to snag the tube
of K-Y Jelly.

"Kneel!" One brief moment of hesitation swept through Jim at that
command. "Down on all fours!" The hand gently pressing against his
back trembled slightly. Jim took solace in the fact that Blair was as
nervous as he at this turn in their relationship. He smiled and
complied with the command, resting on knees and elbows.

Kneeling beside Jim, Blair coated one finger with the lube. "I love
you," he whispered, leaning in to kiss Jim tenderly. As he coaxed
Jim's lips open to admit his tongue, he slid his finger past the tight
sphincter muscle of his lover's anus. Jim's gasp at the intrusion
nearly sucked the air from Blair's lungs. He broke the kiss to murmur
into one perfectly shaped ear, "Relax. Let go. Just relax."

Jim tried to do as he was told, feeling a second finger, and then a
third slide in to join the first. With slow, careful thrusts, Guide
prepared Sentinel for the ultimate sensory experience.

"You're doing great," Blair purred, nibbling on an earlobe, then down
Jim's neck to his shoulder.

Jim felt the fingers slide out, and surprised himself as he emitted an
audible sigh of regret over the loss. Almost immediately, he felt a
new pressure against his anus. 

With great care, Blair pressed his cock against the ring of muscle. He
felt Jim open for him, and he pushed in slowly, allowing Jim the time
he needed to get used to the new sensation.

Moaning with the unexpected pleasure of being filled, Jim laid his
head down on his hands, angling his buttocks for easier penetration by
his shorter partner. Strong fingers wrapped around his flagging
erection, stroking in time with the internal thrusts. It was all he
could manage to hold still and let his partner bring him to climax. He
felt himself climbing nearer to that precipice with each pounding
thrust and accompanying stroke.

Just when he was certain he'd explode if something didn't happen soon,
Blair changed the angle of his thrusts and stroked against Jim's
prostate. The sensation threw him over the edge as his orgasm washed
through him, spraying his chest and Blair's hand with hot semen.

Blair thrust harder, his desperate pounding losing its rhythm as the
tight channel squeezed his cock, milking his own orgasm from him
moments later. Panting slightly, Blair collapsed on top of his
partner, pinning him to the bed.

Jim rolled slowly onto his side, careful not to dislodge Blair, whose
semi-hard cock was still buried deeply within his body. Blair draped
an arm around Jim's chest, sighing contentedly as he snuggled against
the larger man's back.

Jim was about to drift into satiated sleep, when he felt the slight
tremors running through his lover's body. "Blair?" No response. He
spoke a little louder, "Blair? You all right?" When he still got no
response, he pulled himself away from the comfortable embrace, turning
to give Blair a long, hard look. What he saw nearly stopped his heart.

Blair's eyes had rolled back, unseeing. Totally unresponsive to Jim's
attempts to rouse him, he watched helplessly as the tremors increased
to full-fledged convulsions. When the shaking finally subsided, Jim
pulled the blankets up over the cooling body.

"You awake yet, Blair?" he whispered. "C'mon, Buddy. Time to wake up.
It's okay. You're going to be okay." He kept up the quiet chatter
until Blair's eyelids fluttered open. "You scared me there,
Sweetheart. What happened?"

"Shit!" Blair closed his eyes again, shutting out Jim's frightened
look. "Damn!"

"Well, that's all very descriptive, but it doesn't tell me what just
happened," Jim said, trying to stay calm and sound reasonable. "You
had a seizure. You *are* taking the Klonopin, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm taking the damn Klonopin," Blair spat, unsure whether the
anger he felt was directed at Jim or at himself. "Hell . . . you
*watch* me take it three times a day!" He tried sitting up, but a wave
of dizziness laid him out flat on his back. "But this . . . this was
weird."

"Weird? How?" Jim rolled Blair onto his side and began massaging his
back with a comforting, circular motion. He felt some of the tenseness
drain from the smaller man's body and saw color return to the pale
cheeks.

"I had a vision, or something. . . ."

"A vision? During the seizure?" Jim tried to comprehend, but was
failing miserably. "What, exactly, did you see?"

"That was the really weird part," Blair said thoughtfully. "I was in a
jungle, and I was running. But I wasn't me. I - I was a wolf."

"A wolf?"

"Yeah. And I heard something in the bushes ahead of me. A black jaguar
ran out. We were headed right for each other." Blair paused and turned
wide, blue eyes on Jim. "We both leapt at once . . . and merged in
this blinding flash of white light. That was it. I woke up after that.
Weird, huh?"

Jim looked thoughtful. "You dreamed of the jungle?"

"Yeah," Blair answered cautiously, "So? Any special meaning there?"

"Well, it's just that when I have *my* visions, I'm usually in the
jungle."

"You know, Jim, in some tribal cultures epilepsy is considered the
mark of a shaman. Of course, they don't call it epilepsy. They think
the person is possessed by spirits. But. . . ."

"These seizures of yours . . . they started up again shortly after
Incacha's death, didn't they?"

"Yeah, within a couple of weeks. Man, that is *really* weird!" Blair
fought the post-seizure lethargy as his brain went into overdrive. He
snuggled closer into the security of Jim's arms. "I was so worried
when he passed on the 'way of the shaman' to me. I didn't feel any
different. I didn't know anything more than I had before. I was just
feeling my way through trying to help you. But a vision. . . . This is
just so weird," he repeated, shaking his head.

"It might all just be a colossal coincidence, you know," Jim reasoned.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Did you ever have a vision before, during a seizure?"

"Not that I can remember. Well, except maybe, last week . . . oops."
Blair ducked his head, irrationally hoping the sentinel beside him had
not heard that last confession.

"What about last week, Sandburg?" Jim asked, dashing Blair's hopes. He
turned on the young man, suddenly very serious. "Have you had other
seizures you haven't told me about?" His anger was almost palpable.

"Just a couple," Blair managed to squeak.

"Over the last six weeks you've had two other seizures besides this
one . . . while taking your medication? And you didn't tell me?" He
clutched Blair's shoulders, shaking him a little more roughly than
he'd intended, all memory of their recent lovemaking lost in a sea of
fear.

The startled man looked at him apprehensively. "They've all been
within the last week and a half. I didn't want you taking me back to
the hospital. It isn't going to help! I'm taking the medication,"
Blair argued, his tone pleading for Jim to understand. "Doctor Freeman
said there was a possibility of seizures even while taking the meds.
This isn't that uncommon."

Jim shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Help me figure this out?"

"What?"

"The vision. What it means."

"You know I'm not into all that mystical mumbo-jumbo."

"I know what it *felt* like. . . ." Deep blue eyes locked with their
lighter counterparts.

"What did it feel like, Blair?" Jim asked softly.

"Like we'd become one. One soul in two bodies. Bonded. Bound together
for life." He paused, assessing the impact of his words on the man
sitting next to him. "It felt like not even death could separate us."

Jim looked introspective for a moment, then shook it off. "It's
sounding a bit too philosophical for me. . . ."

"Yeah. I told you it was weird."

"Well, 'weird' is your middle name, isn't it, Love?"

Blair turned a baleful gaze on his teasing partner and was rewarded
with a kiss.

"Sleep now. You need your rest. We'll figure all this out later." With
that, Jim snuggled under the blankets next to Blair, his eyes drooping
shut with exhaustion.

~~oO0Oo~~

"I can't find anything wrong," Doctor Freeman said, looking over the
charts of all the tests Blair had just finished being put through once
again. "We can up the dosage of the Klonopin, or try another drug."

Blair groaned. "Must we?"

"Seizures are serious business, young man." Dr. Freeman turned a stern
eye on his recalcitrant patient. "If you want to keep your driver's
license, you have to prove you have them under control. Until you do,
you're suspended."

"No. You can't suspend my driver's license!" Blair was aghast. "I've
got classes at the U, and I help out at the police department. I need
my transportation! I can't depend on Jim to take me everywhere I need
to go."

"Well, then . . . we'll increase your dosage. Let's try doubling it to
four milligrams, but cutting you down to just twice a day. How does
that sound? Then, if that doesn't do it, we'll push you back to three
times a day."

"I'm willing to give it a try, I guess." Blair's voice sounded
defeated.

The doctor scribbled out two prescriptions, and handed them to his
patient. "The first is for the stronger Klonopin," he explained. "The
other is a mild stimulant, to help counteract the drowsiness." He held
up a hand to stall the protest forming on Blair's lips. "Try it for a
week. Let me know how it goes."

"He'll do it, Doc. Don't worry." Jim gave his partner his best
no-nonsense stare. 

Blair hopped off the exam table, returning the look with daggers. He
did not appreciate being treated like a child.

"Thanks, Doc," Jim said as they turned to leave.

"Yeah, thanks," Blair added, an overtone of sarcasm lightly coloring
his words.

"Brat," Jim said, once they were safely outside.

"Dictator," Blair replied, one arm firmly circling the waist of the
larger man.

They climbed into the truck, and Jim headed back to the loft. The
silence between the two men was one of comfortable camaraderie.

~~oO0Oo~~

"He made you Sentinel of the Great City, and me your Shaman," Blair
argued. "Maybe there's something more to these seizures than just the
epilepsy. I've never had a vision before. That's always been your
shtick."

"Be reasonable, Blair," Jim answered, trying unsuccessfully to follow
his own advice. "You can't really believe that Incacha is the cause of
your seizures coming back."

"I didn't say that. All I'm saying is that there might be some
connection between the seizures, the vision and me being a shaman."
Blair paused, running a hand through his unruly hair. "I never felt
comfortable with that designation, you know. Too much pressure, and
nothing had changed. Now, something has."

"What? That you're scaring me shitless with these seizures?" Jim
exploded. "Incacha can just take back his damn 'way of the shaman' if
this is what it means!"

"Jim, calm down. It's okay, really." He pulled his partner closer,
snuggling up against him. "Please don't be upset. Something wonderful
happened. I don't quite understand it yet, but I finally feel
*important*."

"You were always important to me," Jim whispered.


To be continued in Lessons...