Title - What a Difference a Year Makes  (4/5)
Author - Donna
Email address - donnah@donnas-stories.com
URL - www.geocities.com/Area51/Quadrant/4571/
Rating - R
Category - MSR
Spoilers - None
Keywords - MSR
Summary - Continuation of the story
Feedback - Please
Archive - Anywhere, just let me know

Disclaimer - Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunmen and Skinner all belong to
Chris Carter, 10-13 and Fox.  No infringement intended.



What a Difference a Year Makes - 4


Scully exchanged the file in her hand for one in the drawer and resumed
her seat.  Mulder watched her out of the corner of his eye.  She had
all of these files memorized by now, yet she continued to study them,
hoping for another clue.  In the months since she'd been back on the
job, she'd combed through everything he had ever accumulated on
abductions.

At least it was beginning to dawn on her why, after 20+ years, he was
no closer to finding Samantha.  And she wasn't blaming him for dragging
his feet.  Her reports still read like a science textbook, but she was
definitely looking at extreme possibilities now.

She had moved in completely with him.  He had mentioned the possibility
of moving to a larger place, but she seemed to be in no hurry.  She
hadn't replaced any of her furniture; just her clothes and a few
personal items graced their apartment.

He pushed mildly for more only occasionally.  He was happier than he
ever remembered being - having her in his arms every night.  Skinner
had made no issue of their living arrangements, handling it as don't
ask, don't tell.  Her official mailing address was her mother's home
and they still booked two rooms when they were out of town on a case. 
The fact that one remained empty was no one's business.

His nightmares had diminished with her in his arms.  The same couldn't
be said for her.  Her sleep was populated by dreams of her abduction
and time away.  She would wake clinging to him in fear that he wasn't
real, just one of 'their' games.  She dreamed often of the pregnancy
and labor that had revealed the truth to her.  He would wake to find
her crying two or three times a week in the beginning, mourning the
child he was now convinced she would never find.  The odds were too
great.  Even if the child were human, DNA would be the only means of
identification.  They didn't even know the sex of the child.  They
never discussed these things, she knew and he knew that she knew.  He
just held her through the dreams, the grieving, and loved her.

"Come on, Scully, it's five o'clock."

"Did you finish your part of the expense report?"

"Yep.  Ready for you to add to yours."

She rolled her eyes, but she seemed in a better mood today and her
dreams last night had been good.  She just seemed more 'up' today.  He
didn't know what had changed, but he was grateful for anything that
helped her.

He followed her out the door and she waited as he locked up.  Then with
his fingers lightly touching her lower back, they made their way to his
car.  They were still careful not to flaunt their relationship at work.

Once home she started dinner while he straightened up and got the
laundry together.  She had domesticated him and while he teased her
about it occasionally, he wouldn't change a thing.

She flipped through a magazine, lying against him as he watched the
game.  She wasn't a fan, but she enjoyed the closeness of these
evenings, knowing his arm was always there to go around her and feeling
a little safer each day.

Later Scully waited for him in the bed, watching him as he moved around
the room.  He finally looked over at her and grinned, "Should I be
dancing here?"  He gave a suggestive move with his hips and her smile
widened.

She patted the bed beside her and he joined her.  "You're in a good
mood."

She nodded and kissed the tip of his nose.  "Mulder, we're . . . we're
together now, aren't we?"

He drew back a little.  "You coming on to me, Scully?"

"No, really, we're -  "

"Yes, Scully.   We're together.  Does this mean you're thinking of
finally accepting my proposal?"  

"Mulder."  She demurred, "That's not - "

"But I think being married would be the next step."

"I wanted to ask you something else tonight."

He gave a light sigh and made himself comfortable stretched out beside
her, up on one elbow as he watched her.

"I . . . " she wouldn't look up at him, seeming to find the pattern of
his chest hair extremely fascinating suddenly.

"Scully?"

She took a deep breath, "I want to have a baby, Mulder."  She forced
herself to look up then and caught the look of utter shock on his face.

"You, you want me to get you pregnant?  I mean - "

"I want us to get pregnant, yes."

"But, but you want me . . .”

At that she smiled, "Well who the hell else would I want, Mulder?  You
agreed we were together now."

"Well, yes, but . . . I guess I didn't . . . me?"

"Mulder," her hand lightly caressed her face, "even 'they' knew you
were the only one I wanted."

He managed a slight laugh at that.  "Are you sure you're ready Scully? 
I mean physically.  You went through -”

"Yes, Mulder.  I don't want to wait.  I need . . . Mulder, I didn't
know how much I wanted children; I guess I had just assumed that
someday . . . but now -”

"I understand that Scully, but you didn't answer my question. 
Physically are you ready."

"I'm a doctor, Mulder."

"You're a doctor to me.  I think you'd be a lousy patient for
yourself."

He saw the pink stain her face slightly then, "I did see Jerry.  Just
to see . . . he didn't ask a lot of questions he knew I wouldn't
answer, but he said I was fine to go ahead . . .”

"You saw Jerry.  Scully, I would have gone with you."

"I know.  I wanted to find out a few things first."

"You're okay."  It was a question, but he didn't state it as such.

She smiled then, "Yes, and I want you to make a baby with me."

"When, uh, when would you want to start this project?"

"Well, tonight's a good night."

He gaped at her then, "To . . . tonight?"

Her smile faded a little, "I guess . . . I've been thinking about this
so much, I guess I didn't remember that you weren't in on it.  I'm
sorry Mulder; I didn't mean to . . . You need some time."

"I'm not saying no, Scully.  I guess I'm still hung up on the part
where you want me."

Her eyes softened then and she shook her head almost imperceptibly. 
When was this guy going to get it?

She pushed him down then, flat on his back in the bed and began placing
little kisses on his face, his cheeks, nose, and eyes while her hands
played in his hair.  She was careful to keep her hands on his shoulders
and above, only her body occasionally brushing against his.  Finally he
groaned and pulled her against him and her eyes widened in
appreciation.

"Well part of you seems to want to procreate, Mulder."

"He was always a leader in his field; the rest of me is catching up
quick."

"Mulder, I don't want to force you, if you're not ready -”

He kissed her to shut her up.  "We're together, right?  I may take a
little while to catch up, but I've always known if I was going to have
kids, I only wanted them with you."

"It might not happen right away you know."  She offered.

"You think I can talk you into marrying me before it happens?"

"We can think about it."  She agreed as he covered her body with his
own.

*****

She didn't get pregnant that month, to his relief though he didn't say
that to her.  But it did give him time to get her to talk about it. 
She'd done a great deal of thinking about the matter, and was able to
answer his questions about logistics with more detail than he had
imagined.  It did ease his mind on some level, though it brought up new
questions in their turn.  At least they were able to discuss it.

He'd never been as aware of her cycle.  Maybe she hadn't agreed to
marry him - yet, but he felt like a husband.  There was a peace around
him he'd never known.  Others seemed to notice and he heard fewer
"Spooky" comments around the building.  Skinner actually gave him a
'well done' on a case he had handled as a favor for another division.

She wasn't pregnant the second or third month either.

*****

They were on a case in upstate Minnesota.  Mulder was making no secret
that he thought their suspect could use telekinesis; Scully was
convinced there was an unknown accomplice.  She was giving him more
benefit of the doubt these days, but she still made him work for it.

What she hadn't mentioned was that she was two days late.  He wanted
her to bring it up.  He'd seen the disappointment in her eyes the other
times.  Besides, they were on a case and while they shared a room now,
they were more professional out of town.  He'd wait until they returned
home, then if she hadn't said something . . .

Three of the disappearances had occurred at the same warehouse, where
their suspect had worked prior to being fired.  Scully convinced him
they needed to check the place out.

Due to the economy, only one shift was running, so the place was nearly
deserted as they made their way around.  "Mulder, his work station was
over there.  I want to check it."

"Okay, I'm gonna head up to the next floor."  He took the stairs two at
the time.  He smiled once out of her sight, she was probably right.  He
was beginning to believe this guy did have an accomplice, but he was
thoroughly enjoying her arguing with him.

He checked the third floor quickly and started back down.  "Hey Scully,
I'm not finding anything.  How about you?"

There was no response, none.  That wasn't like her and he knew she
could hear him.  He quickened his pace.  Something wasn't right.  He
could feel his heart rate increase and found his gun in his hand.

Mulder rounded the corner and came to a dead stop.  He was there; the
man had been waiting for her.  Adrenaline dumped into his system as he
focused on the knife the man held to Scully's throat.

"You couldn't leave it alone.  We had a good thing going.  We didn't
take that much, we didn't hurt anybody.  But you had to come to town
and fuck us over."

"Just let her go, Paul.  Can I call you Paul?  Right now all you've
done is steal a few dollars worth of equipment.  If you injure a
federal agent -”

"Shut up!  Just don't talk, I need to think."

"Okay, but let Agent Scully go while you're thinking."  He didn't dare
look at Scully, he had to focus, focus on this man.  The knife . . . 
He moved closer as slowly as he could.  The man didn't seem to notice,
trying to watch everything at once.

The elevator opened and the sound of people moving toward them startled
the younger man.  In less than a heartbeat, Mulder was on him, pulling
the knife away from her throat.  She heard the man's arm break and he
howled.  Mulder was with him as he fell to the floor, slamming his
fists into him over and over.

"Mulder!  Mulder, stop!"  She was pulling at him now.  "Stop it! 
Mulder, listen to me!"  He finally heard her and stopped, trying to
catch his breath.    He managed to pull out his cuffs and secure the
man, ignoring his broken arm.  The others had raced toward the sound. 
She turned toward them, "Call 911.  We need the police and a rescue
unit."

Several men ran to do her bidding, the others kept their distance. 
Mulder slowly made it to his feet, the remaining adrenaline causing a
slight tremor in his hands.

Ignoring the men watching, and after glancing down at the subdued man,
Mulder pulled Scully away to a quieter area.

"Are you alright?"  His hands held her upper arms tightly.

"Yes, Mulder.  It was barely a scratch."

He pulled her against him.  "That knife, I . . . I thought I would lose
you both."

She looked up at him puzzled, "Both?"

"You and the baby."  His voice quavered.

That's when she realized how shaken he truly was.  "Mulder, I'm, I'm
not -”

"You're late."

"Oh Mulder."  She shook her head, "this morning . . .”

He closed his eyes and sank onto a crate, one hand still touching her.

"I'm okay, Mulder."  He didn't respond.  She glanced back at the
commotion growing on the other side.  "The police are here."

He nodded, "Let's get this over with."  He rose, wrapping himself in
professionalism and walked ahead of her to meet them.  She ached for
him; she'd had no idea he felt like this.

They made short work of the arrest.  The local police, slightly in awe
of this pair, made things as smooth as possible.  Mulder held it
together until they left the warehouse for their car.  Just before they
reached it, she touched his arm.  "Let me drive."

He opened his mouth to protest, then thought better of it and nodded. 
He handed her the keys and walked around to the passenger's side. 
Neither spoke on the way to the motel.  She opened the door to the room
they shared and he followed her in.  She watched him sink onto the foot
of the bed and let his face drop into his hands.

"Mulder -”

"I can't do this."

"What?"  She felt prickles of fear on the back of her neck.

He finally looked up.  "Okay, I'm a chauvinist, a Neanderthal, but I
can't watch you go out in the field, pregnant and risk -”

"Mulder, I'm not -”

"But you're trying, we're trying.  Bill's right."

Her eyes widened at that, "Bill's right?"

"About you being a doctor.  It's not fair, not for an instant, but to
see you put the two most important people in the world in danger - I
can't watch it."

"Do you want to stop trying?"

"No!  No, Scully, I just . . . you'd already said you wanted to go back
to Quantico when we did have a family.  Couldn't you do it now?  It's
not like you wouldn't be involved in every case I see, but you'd be
safer."

"I . . . I didn't realize . . .”

"It's not that you're not a good agent.  You know that, don't you
Scully?"

She nodded, but her thoughts were elsewhere now.  He watched her with
more than a little fear.  She seemed to reach some conclusion and took
his hand.

"I'm not pregnant now Mulder.  Let me . . . I need to think about all
of this.  I'm sorry I didn't . . . Mulder, I had no idea how this was
affecting you."  Her hand entangled in his hair and drew his face down
to her.  "Thank you."  She breathed in his mouth as her lips caressed
his.

*****

She let herself in the office.  "Where've you been?"  He asked
immediately.

"I had an appointment with Jerry -”

"Are you okay?"  He was already on his feet.

"I'm fine."  She smiled at his concern.  "I just wanted a few more
tests run.  I haven't gotten pregnant and I wanted to know if there was
any reason."

"What did he say?"

"I just had the tests today, blood work, an ultrasound.  He'll call me
when he has the results."

"May I come?"

She looked surprised then, "Of course.  Today was just the boring
stuff.  If I am going to transfer, I want a good reason.  Some other
partner sharing a room with you -”

"No way.  No sharing except with short, mule-headed redheads."

"Have you seen the new woman in Accounting?"

He nodded, "Not mule-headed enough."

"I guess that's good to hear, I think."

He squeezed her hand; they didn't want to risk getting caught at work
but right now he was more than ready to head home and take her in his
arms.

*****

It was two days later when Mulder took the call.  "It's Jerry.  Is Dana
around?"

"She just went upstairs.  Do you have her results?"

"I need to see her."

Mulder tensed instantly, "Is there a problem?"

"Mulder, I need to have her come over.  Don't worry her; just have her
come to the office at five this afternoon.  I'll talk to you later."

Mulder held the receiver a moment after the connection was broken.  The
man could have told him something, damn it.  And why see her after
office hours?  Just because they were friends?  'Don’t worry her.' What
the hell had that meant?

He'd turned back to the computer by the time she returned, but he
wasn't seeing it.

"I think you're avoiding the redhead in Accounting and I'm paying the
price."  She muttered as she entered.  She took her seat and looked
over at him, "Mulder?"

"Huh?  Oh, you had a call.  Jerry wants you to drop by at five
tonight."

"That was quick.  We didn't have any plans, did we?"

He shook his head.

"Mulder?"

"Sorry.  I was thinking about a case."

She smiled and rolled her eyes, then turned to her own work, missing
the look he shot her.

He wanted to warn her or something, but he had nothing concrete to warn
her about.  "Don't worry her." What the hell did that mean?  He kept
quiet, but he was on edge.

The door to the office was locked, but Jerry himself let them in.

"I sent my nurses on home; I wanted to be able to talk."

Scully's smile faded, "Jerry, is something -”

"Come on in my office.  Do you want Mulder to join us?"

She nodded and slipped her hand into his.  They took the same seats in
front of Jerry's desk as the last visit and waited.  Mulder couldn't
tell who was more concerned about her, but he was willing to bet it was
him.

"Dana, after last time, when you took your file, I decided to run these
tests under a false name.  If you want someone else to rerun them . . .
"

"Jerry, what's wrong with me?"

"You're not ill, Dana."  Mulder's eyes closed for an instant in relief.
 "Do you remember the ultrasound we did when you had that cyst a few
years ago?"

She nodded.

"Well, I used that as a base line, I . . . Dana, I know you're trying
to get pregnant, but . . .” He looked down at the chart.  "I don't
understand what I'm seeing. Dana, you're not going to be able to
conceive.  I'm sorry Dana, but . . . but according to your tests, you
have no ova.  Listen, I know that's impossible.  There is no science
that I've ever heard of that could extract all of the ova from a woman,
but . . .”

Scully's grip on Mulder had become painful, but he barely noticed.

"This, Dana, this doesn't mean you can't ever have children.  There are
donors out there and with in-vitro -”

"Stop.  Jerry . . . "

Jerry closed his mouth.  He had nothing more to say, except empty
platitudes.  Dana knew, or could find out, about the different
solutions.  Right now he was having to witness such incredible pain in
his friend.

"Get me out of here."  It was barely even a whisper, but Mulder was
already rising.  She didn't seem able to stand on her own, so he lifted
her to her feet.

"Dana -” Mulder held up his hand to stop Jerry and he complied.

Mulder held her against him, but her arms hung at her sides.  He
glanced at Jerry who had a million questions in his eyes.  He gave a
small shake of his head and started walking her to the door.

There was total silence on the way home, both too stunned to absorb
what they had just heard.  She didn't seem to realize he had parked
when they arrived, so he opened her door and put his hand on hers,
clutched in her lap.  They were icy.

"Let's get inside, Scully."

She moved then, but seemed to be functioning at the lowest possible
level.  Once inside she seemed more aware, and resisted as he tried to
lead her into the bedroom.

"Can I get you some tea?  Some water?"  He desperately wanted to do
something for her, even knowing nothing would help at this point.

She shook her head and moved slightly away from him.  "I . . . I need
some air."

"You want us to take a walk?"  It didn't look like she'd get far.

"No, me.  I need, I need some space."

"Scully, no.  You shouldn't be alone.  We - “  He moved closer and she
stepped back, her hands moved slightly as though to ward him off.

"I need some space, Mulder."  She sounded a little more like herself
then.

"Scully, you've had a major shock.  You should - ”

She held her hand up again, and he stopped.  "Just for a few minutes."

"It's getting dark, Scully."  He tried one last time, but she was
already heading for the door.  "Do you have your phone?"  But the door
was closing behind her.  She'd walked out.  She needed 'space'.  He
stood unable to move for the longest time.

When he emerged from the deepest of the dark space in his mind, he was
able to move to the couch.  He wanted to chase after her, she was
devastated - they’d taken the child they had created within her and
then taken her ability to have children of her own.  She would never
conceive their child.  She had lost her last chance.  But didn't she
realize - so had he.

He watched the numbers change on the clock with growing fear.  He
should never have allowed her to go off alone.  When the phone rang his
heart leapt so violently it was painful.  "Scully?"

"Fox, it's Maggie."

"Is she there?"

"Yes.  Fox, what happened?  What's wrong?"

"Is she okay?"

"No!  She's terrible.  What is it?  Fox, talk to me."

"I, I need to come over."

"No.  She made me promise to keep you away.  It was the only way she'd
let me call you."

He could feel the blood gush from some mortal, phantom wound.

"Fox?"

"She, we saw Jerry this afternoon."

"She's ill?"

"No, not like, Maggie, I can't -”

"Fox William Mulder, this is my daughter and you will tell me what's
going on."  Mulder actually sat up straighter at her tone, a feat
Skinner the ex-marine, had never achieved.

"Did," he swallowed, "Did you know we were trying to have a baby?"

"But, but you're not married."

He closed his eyes at the irony of a mother's statement.

"I've been working on that, trying to wear her down."

"Dana doesn't . . ." he could feel her mother shake herself. "So what
did Jerry say?"

"Maggie -”

"Now!  Tell me!"

"Scully can't, she can't have children because, because of what was
done to her . . ."

He heard the gasped sob, then caught the beginnings of a whispered
prayer.  He didn't interrupt.

"I have to get back to her."

"Maggie, I need to see her."

"Not tonight, Fox.  I'll talk to her."

"Tell her, tell her I love her."

"I will."  Then she was gone.

The tiniest possible part of him was relieved.  She wasn't out on the
street, mugged or, or worse.  She was hold up in the Scully compound
with Maggie standing guard and she didn't want to see him.  She'd
finally realized what he'd thought all along -  this was all his fault.

*****

He heard the knocking on the door, but it had turned to pounding before
he could force himself to his feet.

The shorter sandy haired man on the other side checked his next assault
on the door when he saw Mulder's appearance.

"Mulder?"

"Charlie."

"Yeah."  He let himself in.  "What the hell is going on?  I get a
frantic call from Mom, I hop on the red-eye and find . . . Mulder
what's happened?"

"How is she?"

Charlie shook his head, "She's just about through crying
uncontrollably, now she's becoming zombified."  He stopped, there was
no need to hurt this man further.  He was only a step above zombie
himself.  He still had on the clothes he'd obviously worn yesterday,
even the jacket.  Charlie was afraid to contemplate the pain he saw in
this man's face.

"Come on."  He took Mulder's arm and led him back toward the couch. 
"I'm gonna make us both some coffee and then we can talk.  Why don't
you splash some water on your face."

Mulder may have nodded, he wasn't sure, but he did turn toward the
bedroom.

When he emerged the coffee was ready.  He'd taken a quick shower and
changed into jeans and t-shirt.  He took the cup Charlie held out to
him.  Charlie settled on the couch and, after a moment, Mulder joined
him.

"What did Scully say?"

"Nothing, literally.  And Mom was so tired I was afraid she'd drop.  I
gave them both sleeping pills and put them to bed.  When I saw Dana I
thought . . . hell, I thought you'd died.  I couldn't think of anything
else . . . "

They sat in silence for a few minutes.  Charlie took a sip of coffee,
but Mulder just stared at his.  "Mulder, talk to me.  What happened?"

Mulder shook his head.  "We . . . we saw her doctor last night."

Charlie slipped his mug on to the coffee table before he could drop it.
 "Is . . . is my sister dying?"

Mulder looked up then, "No, no that's not . . . " his voice trailed
off.

"Then what is it?"  Charlie leaned forward, urging an answer.

"We, we found out that because of what happened to her, her
disappearance . . . she'll never be able to have children."

Charlie's eyes widened and he took in the tears slipping down Mulder's
face.  "Oh god.  Are you sure?"

Mulder scrubbed at his face, "I . . . it looks that way."

"Oh shit."

"What?"

Charlie met his eyes, "Mary's pregnant."

Mulder let his head fall toward his chest.  "Does Scully know?"

"No, we haven't told anyone."

"Please, not yet."

Charlie nodded.  "You two, you're together."

"I thought we were."

Charlie looked around the room.  Yeah, her touches were here.  He
wasn't surprised she was living with him.  He'd seen their connection.

"Was there a problem?  I mean why was she even . . . "

"We were trying . . . "

Charlie blinked at that, but said nothing.  He was surprised but it
really wasn't his business.  "Mulder, what did they do to her?"  Mulder
shook his head.  "I, uh, I thought she was doing okay."  Mulder kept
quiet.  "She's not."

"She's doing better."

"Better.  What I saw when I got here was not 'better'."

Mulder looked away.

"I'm not going anywhere.  These things they . . . they hurt her.  How
is, how was she coping?"

"She . . . she has nightmares."

"Dana?  How often?"

"She's a lot better."

"How often?"

"It's rare she has more than one a night anymore."

Charlie's mouth opened in shock, he took a couple of breaths.  "Every
night?"  Mulder nodded.  "What are the nightmares?"

"She, uh, she's looking for me.  She's afraid I'm not real."

"What did they do to her?"  Mulder shook his head, "She's my sister,
Mulder.  I need to know how I can help her."

"I need to talk to her, Charlie.  I need to see her."

"Mom asked me to get some things for her.  She's gonna stay over there
for -  "

"No.  She's moving out?  Look, I just need to talk to her."

"Hey, Mulder, I think you should, but . . . man you didn't see her. 
Hell, maybe you did, but she can't be forced right now."

"I won't, I just . . . I need to see her."

After a moment Charlie nodded.  "Let's get some things together, then
head on over."

****

Charlie let them in and put Scully's bag next to the door.  His hope
was that it never needed to be unpacked, but just in case . . . 
"Sounds like they're still asleep."

Mulder nodded, relieved.  No one had seen her nightmares, they weren't
something he especially wanted anyone to see.

"I'll run up, you just make yourself at home."  Charlie headed upstairs
and Mulder stood in the arch leading to the living room, at a loss for
what to do.

Charlie was back down almost immediately.  "Yeah, they're both still
tucked in.  Can I get you anything?"

"No, I . . . "

"Yeah, I know.  Have a seat.  If you want to talk, I'm here."

Mulder nodded and took a corner of the couch, but he didn’t want to
talk.  He kept glancing at the stairs.  After a few minutes, Charlie
spoke.  “You want to go upstairs.”

“I need to Charlie.  I need to be there when she wakes up.  I need to
be there if she has a nightmare.”

Charlie looked torn.  He agreed with Mulder, but Dana had insisted he
be kept away according to their mother.  Before he could make a
decision, a scream split the air and he froze. Mulder reacted instantly
and was half way up the stairs before Charlie realized the man had
moved.

“Scully, Scully I’m here.  Wake up, it’s a dream.  I’m here.”  He held
her tightly and was rocking her when Charlie entered the room. He
watched stunned as his strong, always together, sister clutched at
Mulder, sobbing into his chest.  He didn’t speak, but he didn’t leave
either.

“Ssh, Scully.  Wake up, come on back to me.”

Charlie was watching Mulder now, he obviously had experience with this.
 And he loved her.  Charlie watched him rock her and murmur comforting
sounds into her ear and she relaxed, though her hands still gripped his
shirt.  When her grip relaxed, Mulder made her comfortable against the
pillows.  Her eyes had never opened.

“It’s over.”  He whispered to Charlie.  “Maybe you better check on
Maggie.”

Charlie nodded and moved out into the hall.  He met Mulder back there a
few minutes later.  “She’s still asleep.”  Mulder nodded, pulling the
door to Scully’s room to, but not closed.  “I think I need a drink.” 
Charlie turned toward the stairs and after a last glance, Mulder
followed.

Charlie poured himself a generous shot then offered the bottle to
Mulder, who shook his head.  They sat at Maggie’s kitchen table and
after a long drink, Charlie looked at Mulder.  “Was that the worse one
she’s had?”

Mulder shook his head, “About typical.  Usually I’m closer now, I can
see them coming and head some of it off.”

“Jesus.”

Mulder made no comment.  They were quiet then, just sitting together. 
When his glass was empty, Charlie looked longingly at the bottle, but
instead placed his glass in the sink.

He turned back to Mulder and started to speak, but saw Mulder’s head
come up as he turned toward the door.  Scully walked in and Mulder rose
to his feet, wanting to approach her, but afraid.  She was pale, but
composed.

“I asked you not to come.”

“I know.”  He answered simply.

She signed and glanced over at Charlie.  “Mom shouldn’t have called
you.”

Charlie shrugged, “I don’t mind.”

She shook her head and finally sat in the chair Mulder held for her.

“I guess I’ll leave you two alone.”  Charlie left the kitchen.  Dana
was too quiet, too composed.  It wasn’t good.

Mulder waited until Charlie had time to get out of earshot then,
“Scully, don’t move out.”

“Mul -  “

“Please.  We should be together now.”

“No Mulder, we shouldn’t.”  She said it flatly, no emotion, but she
obviously meant it.  “I had a nightmare, didn’t I?”  Mulder nodded,
“And . . . and Charlie . . .”

“He saw it.  It scared him.”

“Well, he’ll be going home later today, so -  “

“What about your mother?”

“I won’t be staying here either.  I’ll get a place and -  “

“You have a place, Scully, with me.”

She shook her head.  “Could you go now.”  It wasn’t really a question.

“You need me Scully and god knows I need you.  Please, this has been a
shock to both of us, but we’re together, trying to . . . together.”

“Well we aren’t now.  Please.”  She rose and the fear caused his
stomach to roil.  She . . . she sounded serious.  Surely she knew how
much he loved her.  He’d been asking her to marry him for months.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she turned away and left the kitchen.

Charlie came in a couple of minutes later.  Mulder hadn’t been able to
move.  The sympathy in his eyes caused Mulder to look away.

“Man, I hate it, but you better go.  Give her a little space.  She
knows you love her, she really does, but right now . . . “

After a moment Mulder nodded.  “How long will you be here?”

“She wants me to leave too.”  Mulder closed his eyes.  “Look, she can’t
really throw me out.  I can probably hang around until tomorrow.  I’ll
. . . I’ll call you before I leave.”

Mulder nodded, “thanks.”  He walked toward the door then, no life in
his step, hell, no life in his life.