Title: Walk the Sacred Path
 Rating: PG
 Summary:  After all things, what happens?  Is 
there love, hate, ideals, conception?  Is there 
the realization of something more?  A story of 
actions and thoughts where words cannot describe.
 Endorse:  Show and characters belong to Fox, CC, 
and 1013.  The story is mine.  Please send 
feedback, as I love any and all things you send.  
At least I know you read it.  Please archive, just 
ask me, make sure to attach my name and so forth.  
Want to know where it's going.  
xtrekangel@hotmail.com  Listen to Powder Blue by 
Elbow, it really goes with the story.  It brings 
out the emotion.
 
 	She woke up confused.  Rubbing her eyes she 
remembered she was in Mulder's apartment.  Laying 
her head back against the couch she watched the 
shadows play against the wall.  The day's behind 
her resurfacing in a manifestation of dreams that 
played themselves out against her will, though the 
outcome of those dreams was...... was......  She 
needed to leave, she had to get away before he 
woke.  If she got away, then maybe he would 
forget.  Well, at least he wont say anything that 
might lead to further discussion down a path both 
were not ready to travel, or just not yet 
accepting that it is their path to travel.  She 
walked to the bathroom, fixing her hair.  Really, 
deep down she was stalling.  Maybe he would wake 
up.  But no, she has to leave.  Walking over to 
his bed she grabs her coat, and glances briefly at 
him.  To long of a glance might prove her undoing.  
Willing her feet to move she makes it out of his 
apartment.  As she closes the door behind her she 
leans against it as if exhausted, no in regret for 
what she realized the other day was something she 
had repressed over the years.  Not really 
repressed, but tried to repress.  She knew what 
she wanted, and that was where her path leads to.  
But how would she get to that path?  And when will 
she get there?
 	
 	Exhausted, she flopped on her couch.  Not caring 
at the moment about changing.  She did not turn on 
any lights, preferring the solitude of the 
darkness.  But she wanted to hear something 
besides her own thoughts.  Grabbing her remote for 
her stereo, she turned it on, the volume low, and 
played the 3rd cd, track 8.  
 I am ready for love,
 All of the joy and the pain,
 This song might make her cry, but she wont.  To 
think, seven years without a relationship, except 
as a friend to Mulder.  No love had, lost, but 
love longed for, dreamed of, and realized.  Love 
from a startlingly close proximity, to be reached 
for, but never actually grab hold of.  Do people 
really live like this?  Or this yet another way to 
torture them?  She's seen it in his eyes as well, 
the silent longing.  She knows he has some 
feelings for her, just by his actions.  But 
they've both been in denial, making up excuses for 
not revealing the one secret they always kept to 
themselves, never to reveal.  Never until they 
realize it without words, now, for awhile, for 
years.  But she feels it is too soon now, maybe 
soon, hopefully soon.  She prays it's soon.  Then 
they can step out of the darkness of their own 
hearts and embrace the light.
 
 
 	He woke up, and laid there, listening.  'Is she 
still here?'  Probably not.  He can't hear a 
thing.  Throwing the sheets off, he swings his 
legs over the side of the bed.  He didn't really 
expect her to stay.  She wouldn't allow herself 
too.  Damn her and her ....her....  He sighed and 
walked out of his room, looking at the couch.  She 
had folded the blanket neatly.  That's so like 
her.  But, what did he expect from her?  Was she 
supposed to stay?  What would have happened then?  
Well, there's nothing to be done about it now.  He 
can only hope......  He walked back to his room 
and sprawled back on the bed.  He wanted something 
from her that she wasn't willing to give up.  Her 
heart.
 
 
 	She realized she wanted something more than what 
she had.  Not just relationship wise, but the 
possibility of a child.  She realized she wanted a 
child, no she had realized that when she lost the 
possibility, she dreamed of having a child.  A 
tiny life to care for and hold.  She knew who's 
child she wanted it to be, but that wasn't really 
a possibility was it.  Well, maybe some how. 
 
 	
 
 	The basement seemed colder to her than usual.  
Maybe it was just the nervousness, the 
anticipation.  She was afraid of what he would 
say, or wouldn't say.  She looked at the poster on 
the wall.  I want to Believe.  And she did want 
that, but not the belief in aliens, the belief 
that one day you can find the one person you love 
and spend the rest of your life loving them, being 
with them, holding them.  And hadn't they done 
just that?  The one thing that would make them 
something more, was the one thing they had  yet to 
grapple with.  She paced back and forth a few 
times before sitting down in her chair.  The 
consequences of her quest ran over and over 
through her head.  Then she realized she couldn't 
do it.  Not there, not now, she had to wait.  As 
she stood up to leave he came in, and she stopped 
and smiled at him.  A smile of longing and regret.  
He begins to tell her about his meeting with 
Skinner, but she does not listen.  She only stands 
there looking into his eyes, lost to thought.  "I 
need to talk to you later."  She says, ignoring 
his words.  Then slowly she walks off.  Leaving 
him baffled and confused.  
 
 
 	They stand there in her apartment.  She is 
telling him her idea.  He is amazed by the fact 
that she has asked him to do this.  He doesn't 
want this to come between them, but she knows it 
won't.  She tells him what has to happen, the 
probability of success.  He is happy for her to 
have this opportunity.  He amazes her all the 
time.  This moment he is being selfless, but maybe 
he wants this almost as much as she does.  She 
wishes that she could tell him her love for him.  
The love which she had bottled up and held tight 
with a cork.  What will happen between them now?  
They cant stay the same any more.  Either they 
will get closer, or further apart.  But they will 
not remain the same.
 
 
 	Slowly she pushes the door open.  He stands from 
his sitting position on the couch.  He knows 
before she says anything, he can see it in her 
eyes.  The pain is seeping through.  She attempts 
to tell him the bad news.  It's hard for her to 
get the words out.  It didn't work.  They both 
wanted it to work, but it failed.  He tries to 
console her, and holds her close to his body.  
Finally her tears are shed at the same moment rain 
begins to tap against the window.  God cries for 
them.  They share their pain together.  She wishes 
she could give him what any man deserves, a child.  
But she cannot, and it hurts her deep in her soul.  
She can feel his love generating through his body, 
transferring over to her.  He tells her not to 
give up, but she has too.  It wasn't meant to be.  
He wants to make her pain go away, she can see it 
in his eyes.  She wants to be with him, and him to 
be with her.  She wants to be more than friends.  
She needs his undying love.  She has been lonely 
for far too long.  Looking into his eyes she can 
see a glint of a tear.  Then she knows she has 
tell him.  In this moment of sadness and grief for 
what cannot be, there is the chance of what can 
be.  She needs to tell him.  He goes to get her a 
drink but she stops him with one word.  She looks 
down at her feet.  It's hard to do this.  He wants 
to know what's on her mind.  Finally she looks at 
him, and grabs his face between her trembling 
hands.  'I love you.'  She whispers, almost 
painfully so.  He closes his eyes a moment, then 
smiles down at her.  'I love you too.'  He 
whispers.  They stand there, for a lifetime, for 
eternity.  Drowning in their words.  Then she 
pulls him down and kisses him, as lovers kiss.  
Electricity fills her body, and pours out from 
every pore.  She wants more from him, but he wants 
to stop.  He doesn't want to take advantage of 
her.  She doesn't care.  She continues to kiss 
him, and he gives in.  Then they became lovers, 
moving beyond the realm of friendship alone.  That 
night she became whole again.
 
 
 	Through heavy tears she tells Skinner the news, 
after he has delivered news of his own.  She isn't 
sure if she should be happy or sad.  A miracle, 
and a loss, all in the same day.  Her friend and 
lover had been taken from her, yet she was given 
the miracle of carrying his child.  She can taste 
the salt of her mixed tears.  The tears of utter 
joy, and tears of pain, for part of her had been 
ripped out.  She should have known sooner, the 
signs were all there.  She wished she had known, 
she wished she could have told him.  She just 
wished she could have him back.  She wanted that 
love she had a chance to feel for a few brief 
moments in time.  Insignificant to some, sacred to 
her.   She can only hope he comes back soon, safe, 
before their child is born.  He deserves that 
much.  She deserves that much.  It is not time to 
grieve yet.  She is going to find him, she has to 
find him.  He will be found.  And together they 
will walk the path God had chosen for them, 
together they will live.