TITLE: TIME ENOUGH

BY: JOLEE PATKAI

DISCLAIMER: All characters are property of FOX and 1013
Productions.  This is the story as I pictured it unfolding when Doggett
discovers Mulder's empty apartment.  This is my own imagination
working overtime....Enjoy!

E-mail: julius.patkai@pei.sympatico.ca




Washington, DC
8:00 pm
________________

     The door opened, and they stood across the threshold from each
other not daring to speak.  Their eyes seeking, but retreating from each
other..time standing still.  An awareness was sparking between them, an
awareness that neither wanted to acknowledge, for to do so would be too
awkward...to strange...to wrong!  What had started this , and where would
it end?

     Dana Scully stood holding her baby nestled in the curve of her
breast, her buttons undone, nursing interrupted by the insistent knocking at
the door.  She was flustered, her cheeks flushed and her mouth parted in
agitation.  She knew he would come, but even knowing had not prepared
her for the accusation she saw in his eyes, nor the panic written plainly on
his rugged face.  She could see his hands clenched in fists and his legs
spread apart, as if expecting a battle!   If it was a battle he wanted, a battle
she would give him.  God knows..she had been fighting enough of them
over the past 8 years.  

     His eyes drank in the sight of her, standing there on the offensive. 
She clutched the baby to her chest, unconsciously using him as a shield. 
Her silk blouse was undone and it strained across her milk engorged
breasts, the nipples standing out in sharp relief.  He knew he was staring,
but didn't give a damned anymore.  He clenched his hands and prepared
himself for the wrath he knew was about to be directed at him.  He had
crossed a boundary here, he knew he had, but just who had set the lines of
battle was a mystery to him.  He had certainly started this relationship off
on the wrong foot, but he had thought that in the months since that
unfortunate meeting, he had gained her trust, maybe even her friendship. 
Had he been so off target?  Had he let his feelings for her cloud his vision? 
He only knew that this time, he was not going to leave quietly.  This time,
he was going to lay claim to something he had, until now, let slip through
his fingers.
     
     "I was just at Mulder's apartment, Dana, and it's empty!  I
panicked..I thought you would be gone, too.  I tried to call you, but you
didn't answer!"  Doggett couldn't keep the shakiness out of his voice, as
memory returned at the fear that had gripped him upon finding Mulder's
apartment bare, and all traces of the man gone.  His first reaction was one
of shock, and then anger had coursed through his body.   They were gone! 
They had up and left, together!  After months of searching for a phantom,
he had returned only to take away what Doggett wanted....needed most.  
Scully!  The extent of his emotions were now permanently displayed in the
hole he punched in Mulder's apartment door.  His next action had been to
speed over to her apartment to see if it was so.  And now here he stood,
hand throbbing, blood oozing from the self- inflicted wound....evidence of
his loss of control.

     "I turned the phone off because of the baby, John...I didn't want it
to wake him."  "Why are you here?  It's late, and I'm very busy!"  Saying
this, she turned away from him and walked determinedly into the bedroom.

     "Where's Mulder, Dana?  Where'd he go?"  He followed her into
the apartment, shutting the door, with a snap.  "What the hell is going on
here....?"

     There was no noise from the bedroom, and impatient for answers,
he strode through the door unannounced.  Startled, Scully scrambled to
cover herself, indignant that he would dare to cross the boundary of her
sanctuary.  William began protesting at the loss of his fragrant supper,
kicking his legs and crying.  Doggett stood silently taking in the sight of
her.   She sat in the rocker, her blouse off her shoulder, nursing William. 
Her white breast open to his gaze, the dusky nipple beginning to pucker in
response to his presence.  She tried to cover herself and settle the child at
the same time, but he was having none of it.  The baby only wanted her. 
Although Doggett enjoyed the picture she made,  he took pity and crossing
the room, he draped a soft blue baby blanket over William, his hand
brushing her shoulder as he laid it in place.  Soon, sucking sounds could be
heard, as William continued his feeding.

     "Thank you, John....but I wish you wouldn't come in here.  I wish
you wouldn't come here, at all!"

     "I'll let you settle William, but then, we are going to talk, Dana.  I
want some answers...I deserve some answers.  I'll wait in the kitchen!"

     Turning back toward the door, he paused and asked in a voice just
above a whisper, "Dana....why did you stop trusting me?"

     The only answer, was her indrawn breath!  Looking back he
watched as she  closed her eyes, unable to meet his blue gaze.  She saw the
emotion in his, knew the affection this man had for her.  There would be
time enough, later, to shatter that feeling.  She didn't know if she could
survive the loss of his friendship, especially now, with Mulder gone, again! 
But she knew she had no choice other than to make him hate her..make
him leave her.....never to return.  Time enough for that later....

________________


     She could hear him moving around in the kitchen, filling the kettle
with water, switching on the stove, and searching in the cupboards for
mugs.  William was now sleeping, her nipple barely held in his mouth,
holding on even in sleep.  All the men in her life were holding on to her for
one reason or another.  How much more could she take?  How much more
did she have to give?  Carefully placing William on his back, she covered
him with the soft baby blanket Doggett had so gently placed over her
shoulder.  He had so many sides to him, she just didn't know what to make
of it all.  Why was he here....apart from the obvious..to find out where
Mulder was.  She somehow didn't think this was all there was to it. 
Sighing, she walked through to the kitchen, buttoning up her blouse as she
entered.

     Doggett turned from the counter, his mouth going dry at the sight
of her.  She was fumbling with her blouse, and trying to look like she was
not bothered by his late night visit.  But she wasn't fooling him.  

     "I made you a decaf tea, Dana, cause I figured with the baby and
all...well.."

     "John..stop...WE need to talk.  I don't know exactly why you came
here, so late, but I want you to know that Mulder is gone, and that's all I'm
going to say on the matter!"

     Slamming a fist on the counter, he hissed as his other knuckle burst
open!  "Christ sakes, I cannot believe this bull shit!  Did I not just spend
the past 6 months finding this guy for you?  Did I not watch you fall apart
time and time again for the want of him?  What are you telling
me...what..that he just up and left you, when you need him the most?  I'm
not buying it!"

     Moving across the room, Scully grabbed his hands and squeezed
hard.  "John...this is really none of your business!  I don't have to tell you
anything, but if you must know...I asked him to go!"

     Looking into her blue eyes, brimming with unshed tears, he tried to
read the truth in them.
What he saw, made him swear even more.  His body was tensed with the
need to hit something, anything, as long as he could stop the look he saw in
her face!

     "This is nuts, Dana!  Do you love the guy or not?  Does he love
you??"

     "Why are you doing this to me, John?  Why do you ask me that? 
What Mulder and I feel for each other is personal, and this decision we
made was for the right reasons...all the right reasons, so just drop it!"  She
started to turn away from him, saying, "You wouldn't understand!"

     His hands came up and closed on her shoulders, preventing her
from turning her back on him, yet again.  He was fed up with seeing her
back...she was supposed to be watching his, and all he had been doing for
the past six months was chasing her around.  Always two steps back and
never really getting her  attention.  It was like Mulder's ghost was always
there, putting up a wall between them.  He had wanted to tell her how he
felt more times than he could count, but always he had held
back...respecting Mulder's right to her.  But Mulder had left her..again! 
And why?  Because she had asked him to?  He didn't understand Mulder or
his feelings for this woman, but if he felt even a quarter of what Doggett
felt, wild horses wouldn't have made him leave her.  Just looking at her
caused his heart to spasm.  Made him all weak inside and he had never
even tasted her lips, felt her embrace, nor heard her call out in need.  How
could Mulder have just left?

     "You're right there, Dana, I don't understand.  I don't understand
how a man, like Mulder, could just walk away from you, just because you
asked him to.  I don't understand how someone who has spent their life
facing danger could just run like a scared bunny when danger threatens
him...and leave you alone to protect William.  Christ...I don't even want to
understand him..cause I don't have to.  I had started to respect him, even
though I  spent months resenting his hold over you.  I hated him for
walking into that abduction and leaving you to mourn for him over and
over again.  I hated him for killing whatever hope you had inside you and
leaving you a shell, who couldn't or wouldn't see when someone, right
here, loved you.  So...don't make me understand...just know that I am not
the kind of man who would ever leave you to save myself....NEVER!   And
don't kid yourself, Dana, that's exactly what Mulder did!"

     "GET OUT....you son of a bitch...you know NOTHING!" 
Sobbing, Scully tried twisting out of his grasp, his words cutting her to the
quick.  Making her see what others saw and realizing that it was true. 
Mulder hadn't protested too much when she had asked him to leave.  The
threat on his life was real, and she had only wanted him to be safe...but she
had hoped he would have tried to find a way to stay with her and William. 
She had hoped that he would have begged her to come with him, into
hiding.  But he hadn't!  Their parting had been sad and bitter and she had
been left standing alone, feeling empty!  She hadn't heard from him in
weeks, and John had hit a raw nerve with his words.

     He let her wiggle out of his arms, and watched her walk away from
him, her shoulders shaking.  But he didn't let her make it to the door.  He
was not about to let her walk out of his life, this time.  Silently, he moved
up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, crossing his hands over
her stomach and pressing his face into her hair.  She shook her head from
side to side as silent sobs wracked her body.  Her head dropped forward in
total dejection, and it was all he could do not to yell to the heavens at the
hurt being thrust upon her.

     Without warning, Scully turned in his arms and seized him around
the waist in a fierce hug.  She was surrendering to him.  Admitting that she
was broken and hurt by Mulder's leaving, and that something she had once
been so sure of, was now in doubt...left in dust around her feet.
Had she really loved Mulder, at all?  Or had she just been in love with the
image?  She had spent years following his lead and him around the world,
putting herself in danger, letting him take all of her..leaving nothing left for
anyone else.  Not her family, not her friends..not anyone.  How many
people had she lost because of him and his quest?  What would she do
now?  One thing she did know, for sure, was that right here, and right
now...this felt right!  This man felt right!  And Mulder seemed very far
away and insignificant.  

     Taken by surprise at the abrupt change, Doggett could only hold
her and rub her back, trying to stop her crying.   But gradually he sensed a
change in her.  Her body relaxed, as of she had come to terms with a
struggle that had long been raging in her heart.  

     Doggett, moved his hands from her back, to her face, and applying
pressure, brought her face to face with his own.  He searched her eyes, and
found the answer he had wanted.  He knew she was still torn, knew things
wouldn't be smooth sailing, but it was a start.  And he wasn't going to let
her off so easily this time.  Mulder was gone...just gone...and this was just
between the two of them.  No more threesome!  He had never liked
threesomes!

     "Trust me, Dana...just trust me..that's all I'm asking.  Give me a
chance to protect you and William...give me a chance to love you.  That's
all I'm asking!"

     Scully opened her mouth to speak, but she wasn't given the chance. 
His mouth dropped to hers and any reply she might have made was lost in
his throat, as they kissed.  She couldn't believe this was happening, that she
was letting him kiss her, or that she was kissing him back.  He felt and
tasted so good..and this was all she wanted or needed, right now.  He
loved her, would look after her, protect her..for now.  There was time
enough for him to hate her later...time enough for him to leave her..for she
knew this couldn't last.  This feeling never did for her...and she dare not
hope that this time it would be any different.   But..she was tired of being
alone, tired of being scared, tired of aching for someone's touch and the
fulfillment that touching brought!

     Murmuring softly to him, she led him back through her bedroom
door, her sanctuary.  The baby slept on, unaware of what was unfolding in
the cool dark room.  Unaware of the pleasure that was being given and
taken.  Unaware of the shadow that seemed to hover over them all, a
presence that seemed to be waiting for just the right time to shatter
everything.  The two lovers were also unaware of the presence.  They were
too busy giving into a need they had both been denying for six long
months.

     And in the midst of her surrender to John Doggett, Scully
remembered her thoughts and fears, but only for an instant!  She wanted
this moment to last, these feelings and sensations he was giving her to go
on forever.  As she called his name out loud, she whispered to herself,
"Time enough for him to hate me...time enough!  Not understanding the
reason for her tears, Doggett kissed them away, following their glistening
trail, as they drifted down her cheeks, throat, and beyond.  He was
determined to stop her crying.....he would stop her pain....there would be
time enough for them, now...time enough!  But deep inside, he felt a chill,
as if a ghost had crossed his heart.   Together they whispered, lips seeking
each other...."Let there be time enough!"

The End