TITLE: So Sure (1/1)
AUTHOR: Toniann
EMAIL: ts19@cornell.edu
CATEGORY: UST/MSR
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully, Mulder POV, just a little angst
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: This story is set some vague time before season 7.
Knowledge of the show through season 6 is a safe bet for reading.
SUMMARY: Sometimes it's easy to miss what's right in front of you...
especially when you're trying not to look.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. But don't let that stop you from reading.
FEEDBACK: Is welcomed, always.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: To the wonderful Mo, who read this story for me and
reassured me it wasn't *too* fluffy. This is part of my birthday present for
you -- you get to keep Jeff. <g>

Web site:
http://home.earthlink.net/~hiraeth/fanfic.html


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mulder heard the office door swing open, but didn't bother to look up. "Hey,
Scully, ever hear of the Abominable Snowbeast?"

The clatter of her purse as she set it on her desk, the roll of wheels as
she pulled her chair back, the squeak as she opened and closed a drawer.
Nothing else.

He finally glanced up just long enough to ascertain that it was in fact
Scully who had just entered the basement office. Assured that it was, he
returned his focus to the web site on his screen. "Come on, Scully, I know
you have."

"Then why did you bother asking?"

"Just being polite."

"That's you, Mulder, always the gentleman."

He snorted. "I'm wounded by your sarcasm, Scully. So, seriously -- "

"You ready? We're supposed to be up at Skinner's office in five minutes."

He sighed and shut down his computer. Boring meeting versus trying to get
Scully to have a serious conversation about something even he thought was
silly. With the ultimate decision out of his control, it really was a
travesty that "boring meeting" won that coin toss.

He sauntered to the door where Scully was waiting, impatiently tapping
her... heel... her rather strappy heel, he noticed, and whistled. "Whoa, you
thinking of putting a perp's eye out with that thing?" he asked, gesturing
at her feet. "Or is this new regulation gear for female agents?"

She turned abruptly away, ignoring him. "Let's get this over with," she
muttered, and he had to agree.

* * * * * * *

"Drone, drone, drone... Blah, blah... Drone... Agent Mulder, do I have your
attention?"

Mulder's gaze snapped back from the floor, where he'd been studiously
maneuvering a paper clip with his foot for the past few minutes. It hadn't
gone very far yet, but he was somewhat impressed by just how dexterous his
feet could be, even clad in dress shoes.

He grinned at his boss, abandoning the paper clip with only a small amount
of regret. "Of course, sir, I'm just listening carefully. You know, taking
it all in. Like a sponge."

Skinner looked annoyed -- well, Mulder thought to himself, Skinner almost
always had that same pained expression on his face during these
what-crap-have-you- gotten-yourself-into-lately meetings. But he looked more
exasperated than usual before sighing and dismissing them both with a wave.
"Fine, agents. Get back to work."

Mulder followed Scully to the door, wondering idly what he wanted to order
out for lunch.

"The flowers are beautiful, Kim," Scully was saying.

Skinner's secretary smiled, obviously pleased. "Thank you. I was so
surprised when Jim sent them this morning. He's not usually romantic."

Eyeing the bouquet overflowing Kim's desk, Mulder noticed that romantic or
not, Jim obviously spared no expense. That was a rather costly arrangement
for a whimsical romantic gesture, he thought idly, then noticed Scully was
already on her way out the door. Boy, she sure was in a hurry today.

In the elevator, he was idly considering resuming the topic of the
Abominable Snowbeast when they came to a halt and the doors chimed, a crowd
of chattering Hoover employees filing into the suddenly cramped space.
Scully edged towards him and Mulder moved closer to her side, making room
for the new arrivals.

Once underway again, he noticed that Scully was standing quite a bit closer
to him than she had in some time. Not by choice, he admonished himself
quickly, but it was still something to be enjoyed. And now that you
mentioned it...

"Scully, are you wearing perfume?" he asked, in what was apparently too loud
a tone. A few heads turned in their direction, briefly, and Scully edged
slightly away.

"I always wear perfume."

"Really?" he asked, surprised. He'd never noticed it before.

"Usually, anyhow."

"Usually?" he teased her, and then wished he hadn't when she sent an icy
stare in his direction.

They didn't talk for the rest of the ride down to the basement, even after
everyone else had gotten off the elevator.

* * * * * * *

"Mulder, I can't read your handwriting on this form."

He shrugged, busy flipping through the files on his desk and trying to find
the one he'd been looking at the other day, the one about goat
exsanguinations. "Your point?"

"If I can't read it, then it's doubtful the accounting department will be
able to read it either," she explained in an overly patient tone.

"You've got a point there," he agreed, reluctantly giving up his search to
walk over to where she was sitting. Bracing one hand on the desk, he leaned
in over her shoulder to examine the illegible form.

"See, here, on question six part B? I can't tell what that word is at all.
And you checked three boxes on question four, Mulder. You're only supposed
to check one. Did you see the..."

He smelled the perfume again, and he wondered what it was. Granted, he
didn't know much about women's perfumes (okay, he didn't know anything) but
this one was rather nice. She can't possibly have been wearing it all along,
he thought, and tried to focus on what she was asking him about.

But glancing at his partner, he found himself sidetracked by the fact that
Scully was wearing a shell-pink blouse, which he certainly hadn't noticed
earlier. Pink? Scully? Did Scully wear pink?

And then, just as he really was about to finally direct his attention where
it belonged, it happened: Scully shifted ever-so-slightly in her chair and
the collar of her blouse shifted with her, gaping ever-so-slightly than it
had before. Like a moth to a flame, he suddenly couldn't look away, and when
he spied a lacy pink bra cupping her breasts, he was a lost man.

"Mulder, do you remember writing this at all?" she asked, exasperated, and
craned her neck around to look at him. Their faces were mere inches away
from each other, and Mulder knew, without a doubt, that he'd been caught
peeking. Her eyes widened and she glanced down quickly at her blouse,
hunching her shoulders away from him. He stood up too quickly and she
scooted her chair away minutely.

The moment went on too long to be ignored, and finally he muttered, "I'm
sorry," tossing a casual grin in her direction, hoping she would shrug it
off and not take offense.

She stiffened, turning away from him. "Forget it, Mulder."

Whoops, he thought. She's embarrassed, and I'm the one that should be. "Hey,
seriously, my faux pas. You know me."

She didn't answer. He knew he should drop it and leave well enough alone,
but the tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Was she really that
angry about a harmless glance? "Scully, I didn't mean anything by --"

"God, Mulder, please stop," she said, standing up abruptly and shoving some
files into her bag hurriedly. "Enough. I'm going to the lab for the rest of
the morning. Try to make some sense of that form, will you? It's due on the
fifteenth."

As she swept out of the room, Mulder felt a guilty wave of relief. At least
if she wasn't there he couldn't say anything to make her more pissed. And
time heals all wounds, he thought, after all. By lunchtime we'll be back to
normal, faux pas forgotten.

The least he could do, he thought, was figure out the damn form that had
started this whole mess. He slumped in her chair and scanned down the list
of questions, his mind calling forth absolutely no recollection of filling
it out in the first place. Scully had a better chance of figuring this out
than he did, even if it was his handwriting. Maybe he should just get a
blank form from somewhere and start from scratch. Then again, she'd said it
was due on the fifteenth, right? And today was... today was...Today was the
fourteenth. February fourteenth, to be exact. Hey, it's Valentine's Day.

Kim got flowers, he remembered. And Scully was wearing pink. And perfume.
And new strappy shoes. Come to think of it, her hair had looked a little
different, too. Curlier. So. Scully was all dressed up and with nowhere to
go but the office. With him. It seemed too good to be true, but on the other
hand, was it really too much to hope for, as he'd forced himself to believe
all these years? Couldn't Scully possibly want the same things he did? He'd
long ago given up dreaming for her to return his feelings and had buried
them deep below the very real caring and friendship they did have. Having
her in his life as his best friend was enough. It had to be. At least that
was what he'd always believed, but now... was he crazy to think that there
was a chance for them?

Crazy? a little voice said in his head, a familiar voice he'd been listening
to all his life. Definitely crazy. Talk about reading too much into things.
So she's dressed up. Maybe she was just in the mood. Maybe it was a whim.
Maybe she really has been wearing perfume all the time, and you just didn't
notice.

Or maybe she's dressed up for someone else, idiot, he thought suddenly, with
a quick and fierce stab of jealousy.

He took a deep breath and headed out the door. Either way, he had to find
out.

* * * * * * *

"Come on, you really don't think there's any point in asking?"

"I don't."

"I know she's not married. And she's not seeing anyone. I mean, hell, yeah,
she's brilliant and gorgeous and maybe you could say slightly out of my
league -- "

"I didn't say that."

"Well, thanks. In that case, then, tell me, why don't you think I should ask
Dana out?"

Mulder froze at the sound of his partner's name, pulling back the hand that
had been poised to push the lab door open the rest of the way. Feeling
slightly ridiculous, he nevertheless remained where he was, hidden from view
but a full party to the conversation going on inside.

"Jeff, don't get offended," an older female voice was saying, "I'm not
saying she wouldn't be lucky to have you. You're a great guy, and if my
daughter weren't already married, I'd want her to date you."

"Thanks, Sheila. I think."

"I just don't think Dana Scully is on the market."

"I asked around, she's not seeing anyone."

"I didn't say she was. I just think she's already given her affections
elsewhere," Sheila explained kindly. "You should find a girl who isn't
already in love with someone else."

"Wait, you mean that partner of hers?"

Mulder absently reminded his heart to keep doing what it was supposed to be
doing. And his lungs, too, while he was at it.

"Oh, I'm just a middle-aged woman who's seen that starry-eyed look a few too
many times. I could be wrong. But I'd rather see you focus your attentions
on something more promising. Like that culture I gave you yesterday."

Jeff laughed good-naturedly and Mulder snapped back to attention, not
wanting to be seen eavesdropping outside the door like a schoolboy. He
jingled his keys in his pocket to make some noise and stuck his head in the
doorway, hoping he looked more casual than he felt. "Excuse me?"

The older woman looked over at him and smiled. "Agent Mulder, correct?"

"Yes. I was wondering if Agent Scully is here?"

Jeff coughed nervously and shuffled out of the room, not looking Mulder in
the eye.

Sheila looked unperturbed. "She was, but she left a few minutes ago. Maybe
you passed her on the way up."

"Maybe," Mulder agreed amicably. "Thanks anyhow."

"You're welcome."

He stepped back out into the hallway, nearly colliding with Jeff. Mulder
couldn't help giving him an evaluating once-over: medium height, clean cut,
glasses, boyish good looks. He didn't really know what Scully's type was,
even after all these years, but Jeff looked like good wholesome boyfriend
material. Mulder smiled at him coolly and Jeff nodded, disappearing into the
lab.

Gather ye rosebuds, Mulder told himself fervently, while ye may.

* * * * * * *

Out of ideas, Mulder found himself back at Skinner's office, though it
seemed unlikely that Scully had ended up there. As he rounded the corner he
found Kim gazing absent-mindedly at the bouquet on her desk, a happy smile
on her face.

She looked up, though, when he approached the desk. "Agent Mulder, I'm
sorry, I was daydreaming a little there."

"That's okay."

"Assistant Director Skinner is on a conference call, I can really only get
him in case of an emergency -- a *real* emergency," she added with emphasis,
having grown too used to Mulder's spontaneous visits.

He shook his head. "No, actually, I was looking for Agent Scully."

"Did you try your office?" Kim asked ingeniously, then laughed. "I'm sorry,
I don't know what's gotten into me. I think the Assistant Director has
rolled his eyes at me at least a dozen times today."

Mulder couldn't actually imagine Skinner rolling his eyes at someone,
certainly not in the playful manner Kim was describing, so he said nothing.
After a moment Kim seemed to take pity on him.

"I haven't seen her since your meeting here this morning, Agent Mulder. I'm
sure you're just crossing paths. Is anything wrong?"

"No, nothing," he assured her. "Thanks."

"Wait," Kim said, stopping him as he headed towards the door. "Agent Mulder,
it's none of my business, but would you mind a friendly reminder?"

He gestured for Kim to continue.

"It's Valentine's Day."

Mulder nodded. "Yes, I know."

"Wellll..." Kim looked uncomfortable for a moment, then plunged ahead.
"Jim's usually terrible about remembering those things too, that's why I was
so surprised by the flowers. I'd get all dressed up and put on new earrings
or something, and then I'd be shocked and disappointed when he didn't
remember it was our nine-month anniversary, or something like that. After
three years of me being silly and sulking, I guess he must've marked his
calendar this time around. So I just thought --"

"Kim, I think you've got the wrong idea about Agent Scully and --"

"Agent Mulder," she cut him off abruptly, and gave him a kind look. "Just do
this. Don't tell me, but answer yourself honestly: do I *really* have the
wrong idea? Are you sure?"

He didn't know what to say, not when Kim's well-meant advice was so on the
mark. "Thanks, Kim," he said finally, backing out in the hallway.

He was just about to push the button for the elevator when an idea occurred
to him, and grinning sheepishly, he found himself in front of Kim's desk
once more.

She looked at him quizzically. "Forget something?"

"I did," he agreed. "Kim, can I ask you for a huge favor?"

* * * * * * *

Mulder found himself practically tiptoeing down the hallway to their office
door, for some reason wanting to take Scully by surprise. He wasn't quite
clear why this was a good idea, considering what a good shot his partner was
and how fast her reflexes were, but at the same time, he couldn't resist the
impulse.

She was there, he could tell; the door was just the tiniest bit ajar.
Slipping noiselessly into the room, he stood just inside the doorway, taking
advantage of this rare moment when he could look at her unobserved.

Sitting at her desk, she was turned slightly away from him, her face in
profile. At first she appeared to be studying the computer screen in front
of her, but when she leaned back in the chair he realized she was staring
off into space. She wasn't smiling.

"You look tired, Scully," he said finally.

She jumped a little, startled. "I wish you wouldn't sneak up on me like
that, Mulder. Especially considering the type of unexpected guest we usually
get down here."

He chuckled softly, agreeing. "That's unfortunately true."

And then, just as the same tense silence as before threatened to settle
uncomfortably on the room, he crossed to her desk and crouched down beside
her chair. "Hey, Scully?"

"Yes?" she asked warily.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he whispered, revealing the rose he'd been
concealing behind his back and placing it in her hands.

She stared down at the flower uncertainly. "Mulder, I -- "

"Don't," he interrupted her. "I have some things I have to say first. I love
your shoes, Scully; they're sexy as all hell. That perfume you're wearing is
driving me crazy, and I know you haven't worn it before today because if you
had, I'd be certifiable by now. I don't know what you changed about your
hair, exactly, but it looks amazing. And so does everything else about you
today, and every other day. I'm a jerk and those are the things I should
have been saying to you all day. Instead I cracked jokes and had my head up
my ass. I'm sorry."

Her mouth was hanging open, just a little bit. She licked her lips,
unconsciously, he assumed (though it had the same effect on him as it would
have had it been planned) and said, finally, "Do you really mean all of
that?"

He nodded. "God, yes. I don't know why you decided to get dressed up today,
but you deserve to hear how fantastic you look. And I don't care if I'm
making a fool out of myself by telling you so."

"Mulder," she said hesitantly, looking down at the rose and then meeting his
eyes with a small smile, "I did it for you."

"Me?" God, he thought, did my voice just crack?

"It's not like me, I know, but it's Valentine's Day, and I wanted to look
nice. And I wanted you to notice. And then, well, I wanted..." she trailed
off.

"You wanted me to do something about it?" he finished hopefully.

She nodded. "Something like that. Though in retrospect it seems silly. I
don't know why I didn't just come out and say something. But you were being
such a wise-ass all day," she smiled to take the sting out of her words, "I
didn't know what to think. I was so sure how you felt about me --"

"Wait a second, you were?" he interrupted. "I mean, are you telling me I've
spent all these years hiding my feelings from you and I've been failing the
whole time?"

She smiled. "Not the whole time. Just, well, the past year or so."

He sighed. "I really thought I was doing a better job of it than that.
Scully, I was so sure that you *didn't* return those feelings, I just didn't
want to make you uncomfortable or scare you away. So I made myself tune you
out sometimes. Like this morning. Does that make any sense?" he asked
urgently. "Can you understand that I was so positive that you didn't want me
that I forced myself to pretend I didn't want you?"

"Yes," she said simply, smiling, and looked down at the rose again. "Mulder,
where did you get this on such short notice?"

"Kim."

"Excuse me?"

"She politely reminded me that it was Valentine's Day, told me in so many
words that I was being insensitive, and agreed to donate this flower to the
greater good. In other words, I agreed with her and she felt sorry for me
and wanted to help bail me out," he concluded. "At least for now. I promise
to do better later."

Scully smiled at him then, a new smile, one he was sure he'd never seen
before but that he suddenly, urgently knew he'd be working very hard to see
again. She slid her arms around his neck and her sweet mouth descended on
his, warmly, firmly, and full of promise. Pulling the slightest bit away,
she whispered, lips fluttering against his neck, "Believe me, Mulder, I'm
going to hold you to that promise."


END