TITLE: Shadows: It Begins AUTHOR: Spooky's Girl DISCLAIMER: They're not mine, they belong to the XF god CC, and it's probably a good thing they do cause believe it or not, he treats them much nicer than I usually do RATING: PG-13 CATEGORY: M/S friendship, angst, slight hint at MSR, but nothing to get too wild about. SUMMARY: The destruction begins SPOILERS: very minor, only first season, nothing concrete mentioned, but enough for a vague overview AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the first vignette in a series of nine. Basically simple summary, one vignette per season, a reflection of sorts of Mulder's impact on Scully's life. A complete list of titles in the series can be found at the end of the vignette. THANKS: To Nancy, my awesome beta who seems to enjoy putting up with my stupid little errors and still asks for more, and to Ashley who originally had an idea for a series like this (although I didn't know that) and upon discovering my idea, she gave me the go ahead anyway. Love ya both! FEEDBACK: As always, I love feedback...that and chocolate are the necessary ingredients to life, and yes, I do respond back to it denisegilliland@hotmail.com ~*~*~ It begins, a strain of irreparable damage that will doubtlessly drive her away from me or kill her in the end depending on whether she can put up with my insanity that long. She's a spy; she'll destroy me like I will destroy her. I shouldn't care - I don't care. In today's world with today's government and today's problems I have to think only about myself - look out only for myself. Yet I care. Our second case together and she already has lines on her face, dark patches under her eyes. I've already started destroying her - slowly right from the start. I shouldn't care, she's done nothing but hinder me from my work - invalidating my theories with her hard science - she's destroying me too. She's helping me to succeed at the same time. She's young, vibrant, and always ready to face any challenging case I put in front of her. She debunks; she validates; she fights to the end. She never sees the fact that I'm trying to get rid of he, yet she seems to see that everyday and fights harder - trying to prove herself to me. She has. And I still make her fight harder. She trusted me on her first day despite my intentions. She trusted me without question, and I play the devil - showing her the same amount of trust despite the fact that I was still finding a way to destroy her. She stays though, continuing to trust me, trust me as an agent, trust me as a partner, and trust me as a friend, probably the rarest and truest gift ever handed to me - and I still want to break her. Although now for different reasons. I've ruined her reputation, making her the laughing stock of the Bureau alongside. I've ruined her chances of career advancement, dragging her down to the basement with me, making her stay. I've ruined all sense of a life that she had in asking her to stay. Yes, I want her to stay despite my destruction. I want her to stay because she trusts me. I want her to stay because I've learned to trust her; I've learned to embrace the spy who is now on my side. For these reasons I want her to go. Friends run, closer friends die. They'll destroy her because she's mine. She's been mine since the beginning, and she'll be mine in the end. I can't pinpoint the exact time I realized she was mine, but she is, she'll stay that way. She climbed under my skin and is setting up camp for the long haul. She still debunks, she still finds ways to prove my theories invalid and yet it no longer hinders my investigation, it enhances it. She enhances it. So I do the only thing I can do at this point. I cannot leave her willingly, and I cannot force her out, so I give up the only thing I have in an attempt to repair the string of irreparable damage set forth on her with little success. I give up the X-files to save her. It begins. ~*FIN*~ Shadows: It Begins Shadows: Darkness Shadows: Discovery Shadows: Reflections Shadows: Broken Shadows: Destinies Shadows: Freedom Shadows: Breakaway Shadows: It Ends