TITLE: Into A New Day
AUTHOR: Samiam (Sampiper@aol.com)
RATING: G
ARCHIVE: Just tell me where to send the child support payments
FEEDBACK:  I'll beg if needed
SPOILERS: just about everything in the last 2 years
KEYWORDS: Post ep - The Truth, MSR, Doggett POV
DISCLAIMERS: Um yeah, you know what this is and you know the drill.
THANKS: Dallas for the quick beta and the title

*****************

I've been driving for hours.  Heading north based on
nothing more than a gut feeling that it was the right 
direction.

Monica fell asleep a few hours ago, and, while I would
like the company, I'm glad she can sleep.  I have a 
feeling she is going to need it because it is soon to be
in short supply.

I've left the radio off, as much for keeping it quiet so 
Monica can sleep as to calm my own inner thoughts.  
We're in the middle of no where anyway, it's not like 
you get a lot of radio signals.  However, in the silence 
of the waning night, my thoughts turn to wonder.

I wonder how we got here.  

I thought back to the day I first met Dana.  

I remember sitting in that chair, reading through the 
file and wondering if any part of the rumors about her 
and Mulder were true.  When she walked in the room 
and sat down beside me, I wondered how this petite 
looking woman was able to hold her own in the Good 
Ol' Boys club for so long.  Then I wondered if I had an 
extra shirt in my desk drawer.

I remembered Arizona and watching "Mulder" step off 
that cliff only to get up and run ... RUN ... away.  Listening 
to Dana at the foot of that cliff, I began to wonder if there 
wasn't some truth to that crazy story.

I thought back to our first case.  After snapping at me 
about the office arrangement before starting her slideshow,
I wondered if she would ever accept me in her life.

Standing in a hospital in Utah, I wondered if she would ever 
trust me.

I watched her start to breakdown after that siddhi mystic 
case when she thought she wasn't living up to the 
standards Mulder had set and I wondered how she had 
managed to hold it together for so long.

Sitting next to her in another hospital, I wondered why 
she couldn't tell me she was pregnant.

I watched her run away from his body in that field and 
I wondered how she was going to survive.

Yet another hospital, and I ceased wondering if there 
really was such a thing as soulmates.

Watching Mulder storm into Skinner's office the first 
time we met, I wondered if he was going to kill me out 
of anger or jealousy.  Watching her tend his wounds
later, I wondered how he could think she would ever 
look at anyone else.

I watched her walk out of the basement for her leave 
and wondered how I would survive.  Watching them 
banter in front of Harrison, I wondered if they knew I 
admired them as much as she did.

Jumping off that oil rig, I wondered if the fall was going 
to kill me after all.  Shaking Mulder's hand later, I was 
glad she taught me how to swim.

Watching Monica drive Dana into the night, I wondered 
if we were doing the right thing.

When Mulder's cell phone went dead before I could 
tell him where she was, I wondered if he would get 
to her on time.

When I confronted her about his disappearance, I 
wondered why she still wouldn't completely trust me.

After that shadow man ran her through the emotional 
ringer, I wondered what I'd got her into.

When I watched her give up her son, I wondered from 
where she continued to draw her strength and if it 
would ever give out.

When I told her they handed him a death sentence, 
I watched her crumble and wondered if this was finally 
going to be it.

When the helicopters came and I watched them drive 
off in the other direction, I wondered if they would make it.

Lost in thought, my eyes drift over the sign indicating 
the Wyoming stateline and I turn to see the sunlight 
slowly making its way across the landscape and lighting 
Monica's face with the promise of a new day. 

I can't help but smile as I wonder if I am ever going to see
my friends again and I wonder ...

Where do we go from here?