Disclaimer: No, these characters aren't mine. 
 
Category: VRA
Classification: MSR
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Nothing Important Happened Today
Feedback: Knock yourself out.
Archive: Gossamer. Spookys.  Further X. Others ask me.
Summary: Scully must say goodbye.
Thanks to: Sara Lynn who took time out of her "new old" story to
check out mine. 
 

"Before He Goes" (1/1)
by Lisa 
haven599@msn.com
 

I find him standing over William's bassinet, wearing only a 
pair of boxer shorts.  I pull my robe on and walk over to 
him, winding my arms around his waist, placing a gentle kiss 
on his shoulder blade.  We both know it's almost time. I 
allow him a few more moments with our son.

I hope I will see Mulder again.  I need to believe this 
won't be the last time William and I are with him.  



****

24 hours earlier



"Mulder, what happened?" I asked as he walked into the 
bedroom. "I saw your note.  William fell back to -" He 
looked as if he had been crying.  "Are you okay? Mulder?" 

I came over to him, touching his shoulder gently.  "What is 
it?" I asked softly.  

He turned and walked out into the living room, taking a seat 
on the couch.  

"Mulder -"

"I have to leave, Scully," he told me.

"No, you don't.  I've been thinking about it and I want you 
to move in with me,"  I said happily.  "And William, of 
course. He wants you here, too."   That came out easier than 
I thought it would.

"You don't understand, Scully," he told me.  "I have to 
leave. I can't explain, but this is serious.  I don't have a 
choice."  He jumped up from the sofa and started for the 
door.  "I need to go back to my place and start packing." 

I rushed ahead of him, blocking the door.  "No, you're not 
going anywhere until you tell me what the hell this is 
about."

He closed his eyes before he spoke.  I could tell he was 
composing his thoughts.  "I met with someone last night.  
There is a security risk at the FBI.  These . . . aliens . . 
. they're about to invade the FBI.  I need to try and stop 
them.  It will just look like I've disappeared.  The man I 
met with wanted me to go with him last night, but I couldn't 
leave without telling you."  He ran his hands through his 
hair.  "This has always been my fight, anyway. You can't be 
involved."  

"Can't be involved?  It's a bit late for that now, Mulder," 
I told him.  "Who is this person, Mulder?  What makes you 
think this is even true?  How can you trust -"

"I don't trust them -" 

"Then why -" 

"Because your life was threatened," he blurted out.  "And 
William's.  That's a risk I can't take." 

My baby.  Our child. "I don't understand."  These people 
still wanted to take my child.  Why?  He was just a normal, 
healthy, baby boy.  Now they were trying to take away the 
man I love from me.  I reached out to him, but stopped.  My 
hands felt shaky, trying to process all this information.  I 
stepped away from the door.  

"Neither do I," he said, before leaving.

Why couldn't we have a normal life?  Why were all these 
obstacles in our way?  

William had begun to cry, as if sensing what was going to 
happen. I rushed into the bedroom to comfort him and found 
myself crying along with my son. All he needed was to be fed 
and then he drifted back off to sleep.  If only that was all 
it took for the rest of us.

The stillness of the apartment overwhelmed me.  I found 
myself wandering from room to room, trying to fight the 
anger and sadness consuming my mind and body.  After awhile, 
my emotions got the better of me and I collapsed onto the 
bed, crying myself to sleep. 

****

Mulder was gone for most of the day.  I wanted to call him. 
Several times I found myself punching in the numbers to his 
cell,         only to stop. What was he doing? Why couldn't 
he spend this last time with us? 

I can't believe he's leaving.  I can't believe I'm letting 
him go.  But how could I stop him?  

My son cried out.  I went to him.  To comfort him.  I'm glad 
he's too young to understand.  

****

I felt him next to me before I opened my eyes to the 
darkness. "Do you think I want to leave you and our son?"  
he whispered.

I shook my head as I moved closer to him.  "No, of course 
not." He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his 
body. 

I couldn't get close enough to him.  I wished I could make 
love with him, but it was too soon.  This closeness will 
have to suffice for now.  

There was so much I wanted to say.  If only we had more 
time. Perhaps there was something I could do or give to him 
to help him on this journey he must take, but my worries and 
fears won't help him now, as that was all my mind focused 
on. But he should know one thing before he goes, even though 
I'm sure it goes without saying.   

"I love you, Mulder."  

That was all he needed to take with him. 



****
END (1/1)
 
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